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Yep, haha, he is fighting an ISTJ supervisor right now, who keeps telling him to learn to take no for an answer. He is an 873 INFJ with strong Ti, so he keeps softly cornering her and challenging her authority right and left, which needless to say drives her Si/Te nuts. She can't fire him, cause she needs him, but she imposes limitations, procedures and boundaries, needlessly withholds resources... which pisses off his Fe, and sends him off on an Ni-Ti carousel.... so he keeps coming up with subtle and creative ways to undermine her efforts (almost like an ENTP would, except in Ni domino style, where a single action sets off a chain of events)... so yeah, NiTi loops we do have.

What do your loops look like?
My husband has been getting minor anxiety at work - he isn't able to maintain eye contact with a few female co-workers of his ( he's usually very self assure so this confuses him) so he ends up looking down when he talks to them to avoid eye contact - and now he thinks that they think that he's looking at their chest - he was having anxiety over this for about half a year . I think what happen was he realizes that by avoiding eye contact he may be inadvertently committing a social taboo. The taboo triggers Fe, which is sensitive to disruptions within a community (his office). To verify whether these thoughts are unfounded he'd have to ask the coworkers (Se), which would risk further social awkwardness and future suspicion. Fe probably vetoed the decision by saying it's not worth the risk of losing the trust he currently has among his coworkers. This leaves him with his Ti and Ni, which have the potential of running amok in his mind by concocting crazier theories


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Are ENFPs hopeless romantics? A lot? At all? A little bit?

A bit of background for context:
I am an ISFP and fell pretty hard for an ENFP, but we met with horrible timing as she was just about to move, so it was brief -- so she moved and now I am trying to sort of figure out what to do. I am a risk taker when it comes to most things, including feelings -- and I am not worried about getting hurt but she seems to be worried about hurting me....I don't want to bother/annoy her but I also want her to know how I feel and that if I get hurt that's ok. I would imagine ENFPs would also be sort of hopeless romantics, but just can't get a hold on how to read her. She is very mysterious and foreign to me. She is an artist and moved for a fresh start and inspiration and such, and so I get the sense wants space to redefine herself (redefine may not be the best word choice), so it's not like I am trying to rush into some decision about trying something long distance...just trying to figure out if I am being completely ridiculous from an ENFPs point of view. I felt very connected to her on a level I don't often find, so I am willing to wait and see how things go, but wouldn't mind some advice... :)
No you're not being ridiculous - if anything enfp are risk taker as well - or I know I am - I rushed into a relationship with a guy who found my phone the 2nd time I saw him( that was in 05' guy is my istp husband)
You see the question is- is she attracted to you ? If she is then I don't see how you telling her your true emotion would make thing any worst- if anything it'll flatter her :)


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My husband has been getting minor anxiety at work - he isn't able to maintain eye contact with a few female co-workers of his ( he's usually very self assure so this confuses him) so he ends up looking down when he talks to them to avoid eye contact - and now he thinks that they think that he's looking at their chest - he was having anxiety over this for about half a year . I think what happen was he realizes that by avoiding eye contact he may be inadvertently committing a social taboo. The taboo triggers Fe, which is sensitive to disruptions within a community (his office). To verify whether these thoughts are unfounded he'd have to ask the coworkers (Se), which would risk further social awkwardness and future suspicion. Fe probably vetoed the decision by saying it's not worth the risk of losing the trust he currently has among his coworkers. This leaves him with his Ti and Ni, which have the potential of running amok in his mind by concocting crazier theories


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Yep, that's the paranoia mode. Sounds familiar. Can you try and teach him to overcome the anxiety by looking them in the eye with a blank impenetrable stare, to hide his vulnerable Fe behind a bullet-proof glass wall? Make him practice it on strangers?
 

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Yep, that's the paranoia mode. Sounds familiar. Can you try and teach him to overcome the anxiety by looking them in the eye with a blank impenetrable stare, to hide his vulnerable Fe behind a bullet-proof glass wall?
I told him that it doesn't matter what they think and if they were to think that then theirs something wrong with them not him and that he's going through TiNi stage and it'll go away in a few months. Somehow my exaggerated prediction of it being gone in a few months help him cope better :) but great idea ! I should try telling him that .


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No you're not being ridiculous - if anything enfp are risk taker as well - or I know I am - I rushed into a relationship with a guy who found my phone the 2nd time I saw him( that was in 05' guy is my istp husband)
You see the question is- is she attracted to you ? If she is then I don't see how you telling her your true emotion would make thing any worst- if anything it'll flatter her :)


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@rabbitheart

+1
I wouldn't push it though... subtle and playful with plenty of comfortable ways out for her if she is not interested.... otherwise it might get awkward and she might start avoiding you.
 

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I told him that it doesn't matter what they think and if they were to think that then theirs something wrong with them not him and that he's going through TiNi stage and it'll go away in a few months. Somehow my exaggerated prediction of it being gone in a few months help him cope better :) but great idea ! I should try telling him that .


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You are right, cause it's not about them, it is about him being trapped in his own self-induced embarrassment. Whatever gets him out of the silly trance. Forcing himself to power through by initiating eye contact (however impersonal) could be one way to end it.
 

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You are right, cause it's not about them, it is about him being trapped in his own self-induced embarrassment. Whatever gets him out of the silly trance. Forcing himself to power through by initiating eye contact (however impersonal) could be one way to end it.
True , now he just need the will power to do so
Oh yeah! I'll be visiting Japan for the first time next year - and the thought of you crossed my mind :)


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True , now he just need the will power to do so
Oh yeah! I'll be visiting Japan for the first time next year - and the thought of you crossed my mind :)


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Cool!! :) :) :) Are you taking the kids with you?
@ai.tran.75
I loved Kyoto, took something like 800 pictures when I was there. The nature, the temples, the food... everything was a form of art - a designer's paradise. :)

In Tokyo, spent like 4 hours in a 5 or 6 story music department store, listening to samples of every conceivable genre... so much fun!! Left with $300 worth of CDs:rolleyes:
 

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Cool!! :) :) :) Are you taking the kids with you?
Yeah I am :) my daughter flies free so taking advantage of that while we can . What about u


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Does NeFi look promiscuous due to Ne's quick sifting of information mixed with Fi's quick judgment of how real or important something is? It seems like those two together would make it so you could just know in a lot of situations.
 

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Does anyone spend a lot of time imagining alternate versions of themselves? For example I spend a lot of time imagining how I would have turned out if certain things in my life had gone differently, if I had grown up with a different set of parents, if I was a female, if I was a different personality type, etc.
 
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Would you rather be feared by everyone or loved by everyone ?
Being loved by everyone. It's not the machiavellian answer, but being loved by everyone is ridiculously extreme. It's also the safer bet on mental health.

Ideally though, I'd go with being both loved and feared (by some people). I could consider even characters like Ip Man and Vito Corleone to be role models for me. I admire people who have the power to manifest their will and are seen as someone not to mess with, but are also simultaneously disciplined, understanding, merciful and loving.

How about you?

With which of his indubitable philosophies do you most connect? Or is it politics/human interests that you're drawn to?
I doubt it can be attributed to Machiavelli originally, but as I get older I'm increasingly viewing life as war unless you have the power to make peace. Good intentions alone will often leave one's wishes marginalised or put them in a position of subservience; something I learned early from my own experiences and observing some of my ISFJ friends/mother over time.

So now I'm of the attitude that some amount of cruelty is necessary, and the art of this is reducing the amount of cruelty needed to manifest your will using other means (persuasion, charisma, reputation, articulation, humility, generosity are all part of what I see as power). I used to work in security, and every now and then I'd have a chance to use a military strategy/philosophy for conflict resolution. I loved using psychology rather than force to defuse a situation. Now I've become intrigued with politics because I've noticed underlying power struggles in more and more real life situations and social/business structures. Drama isn't usually so chaotic that there's no method to the madness.

To be honest though, Robert Greene, Carl von Clausewitz and Sun Tzu are just as responsible for my view as Machiavelli is.
 

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What's it like being an ENFP? What's trying to adult like*? How quirky or mainstream are you? What's tertiary Te like?



*coming from an INFP who currently would like to never adult again.
 

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What's it like being an ENFP? What's trying to adult like*? How quirky or mainstream are you? What's tertiary Te like?



*coming from an INFP who currently would like to never adult again.
It is probably more fun than being an INFP. Having Ne first makes it not so scary to color outside the lines and come up with creative solutions on how not to have to be an adult. I am currently on a very concentrated effort to avoid adulthood and make a lot of money on the way. From what I've seen, INFPs tend to feel a lot more obligated to wear the shackles.

For some quick facts on my quirkiness...
-I have near zero contact with my of my family and it doesn't bother me really. No one not spiritually important to be has to be a close entity in my life, and it is quite liberating.
-As I told Ai, I just kind of picked up and moved to Seattle a couple years ago, and I'm going to put myself out on the street soon to save up some money to get a comfortable start in L.A.
-I have a kind of obsessive aesthetic connection to the idea of water that seeps into all the art (presentation) that I do, and colors my interpretation of a lot of MBTI stuff as well
-Two odd things I love are tarot and competitive... well, anything

Tert. Te... Well, For me, it is like having access to knowing what makes sense buy it often being overridden by my top two functions. Like, with meditation, I can locate what is and what isn't the case about situations around me. But I also have an INTJ best friend, so I don't know whether that has sharpened my emphasis on being practical, or whether I just lean on the fact that he will ride me for doing something stupid and don't have to really manage as much myself. Either way, he is a really good check on my personality.
 

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What's it like being an ENFP? What's trying to adult like*? How quirky or mainstream are you? What's tertiary Te like?



*coming from an INFP who currently would like to never adult again.
This is the absolute BEST description of what it's like to be an ENFP.

As for what it's like trying to adult - it sucks. I just can't bring myself to adult, adult things are BOOOOORING! Trying to do adult things literally makes my head hurt, and makes me want to cry. It also sucks being a big kid in an adult's body, women aren't usually attracted to that, and many people find it annoying.

As for tertiary Te, I freakin LOVE IT! It's all used in the service of Ne or Fi. Every time my Ne wants to explore something new, or Fi is whining about some new problem, Te comes in and is like "Don't worry bro, I GOT THIS!" And comes up with a badass plan to accomplish my goals or to fix my problems, and life is good. It also contributes to my ENFP optimism. If I'm currently in the midst of a problem, but I already have a plan to fix it, then I feel no reason to really obsess about it too much, and I go about my merry way. This also helps me to have very, very little anxiety, because I always have backup plans for worst case scenarios, so I don't really have much to worry about.
 

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What's it like being an ENFP? What's trying to adult like*? How quirky or mainstream are you? What's tertiary Te like?



*coming from an INFP who currently would like to never adult again.
Hmm...my mind never stop - it's always playing around with ideas - stories- and curiosity . And I guess fun>work has always been my motto (don't get me wrong i have a job and I bought a house with my husband in west Palo Alto at the age of 25 ) so I do get things done . I pretty much use up all my free time traveling ( even after having my kid- my 3 year old son has already been to Seattle , Portland , Hawaii , Paris , London and Belgium and all over California ) if I get curious about something I must do it ( most of the time I end up doing things alone bc i feel like I observe better that way ) and I pretty much live life as an open book ( I don't really hide anything about myself if ask I'll answer ) and my motto is rather burn and get hurt than not find out ( and fortunately for me I haven't burn yet - except for this one time where I decided to go sky diving bc it was an idealistic dream of mine and end up throwing up 11 times bc I got motion sickness - but hey I don't regret doing it ! )
But with all this said people tend to view me as an introvert or shy bc I'm extremely calm and soft spoken .
My tert Te- helps me time manage like a pro -and uh that's about it . It usually work as a fact sheet for my fi - like if I need to get a point across - my Te will come in and reassure me with hard objective facts . Also my Te makes me feel less and tend to take over when something traumatic happens to me - so I'm thankful for that . For example - I got raped and kidnap as a teenager ( at a time where I've never kissed a guy yet ) my Te kicked in help me keep calm - find ways to persuade the kidnapper to calm down and it gave me the courage to kick him hard and run out to streets when I see an open chance- like when that event occur - i thought I was going to die but I wasn't scared- the only thing going through my mind was different strategy and ideas on how to connect with his emotion and let him trust me enough to leave me alone . And I'm not sure if this is Ne or Te but I don't really feel much ( don't get me wrong I empathize with others) but my own emotions - it takes a lot to get a rise out of me ( not bc I'm bottling things up but bc I don't feel as strongly as others / with the exception of my entp bff I'm the most carefree person I know .I handle criticism quite well

Hmm...I'm much more quirky in my early 20s than I am now - and what do you mean by mainstream


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This is the absolute BEST description of what it's like to be an ENFP.

As for what it's like trying to adult - it sucks. I just can't bring myself to adult, adult things are BOOOOORING! Trying to do adult things literally makes my head hurt, and makes me want to cry. It also sucks being a big kid in an adult's body, women aren't usually attracted to that, and many people find it annoying.

As for tertiary Te, I freakin LOVE IT! It's all used in the service of Ne or Fi. Every time my Ne wants to explore something new, or Fi is whining about some new problem, Te comes in and is like "Don't worry bro, I GOT THIS!" And comes up with a badass plan to accomplish my goals or to fix my problems, and life is good. It also contributes to my ENFP optimism. If I'm currently in the midst of a problem, but I already have a plan to fix it, then I feel no reason to really obsess about it too much, and I go about my merry way. This also helps me to have very, very little anxiety, because I always have backup plans for worst case scenarios, so I don't really have much to worry about.
Michael Pierce FTW.

That's cool that your tertiary function is a benefit. I won't speak for all INFPs, but at least for me my Si is an indulgent drawback. It's nice for daydreaming, that's about it.
 
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