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How hard is it for you to use Te? What makes using Te easier than Si other than it being higher up in the stack?
When I was younger my Te would only insert itself in moments of stubbornness, frustration, or anger. We have our famous Fi-Te bitch slap. It's when someone's crossed a moral line with us and we lash out.

As an adult, I felt my Te start to strengthen more so that I could utilize it to complete tasks and endeavors most only dream of completing. Prior to thirty-four, I had hundreds of projects laying about unfinished, several of them were grand schemes but they always felt out of my reach. After thirty-four I think my Te inserted itself and now I've done some impossible feats. Things my twenty self doubted. If anything I've become a little vain and have strong self-worth. I still don't apply my Te like a hammer that I've examined from other Te forward thinkers in their first function but I now use it to complete tasks.

I've noticed in most adult ENFPs in their middle thirties start to notice that Te coming out more. It's almost as strong as my Fi, of course, I don't have a problem now telling someone off. As I grow older I seem to be a little bit more aggressive than my twenties and can actually use the word no or fuck off statement with conviction.
 
I've always had a fascination with Alice in Wonderland. It has me wondering if the story arch is something that would just attract me or do you think it's an ENFP thing? If it's an ENFP thing would it there for attract all intuitive Ne/Ni strong groups. I've noticed sensors around me don't get the book and don't really get the cartoon or any adaptation of it. Except they do like the Matrix but are lost on the other two movies. My mother doesn't like it at all (ISTJ), she calls it frustrating nonsense. So it had me thinking is it just me? Is it an ENFP attraction or better yet could it be an Intuitive attraction. My INTJ enjoys it too and so does my INFJ brother in law and the INFP. Just the sensors in my life find it confusing and frustrated besides the XSFPs I know.
 
I've always had a fascination with Alice in Wonderland. It has me wondering if the story arch is something that would just attract me or do you think it's an ENFP thing? If it's an ENFP thing would it there for attract all intuitive Ne/Ni strong groups. I've noticed sensors around me don't get the book and don't really get the cartoon or any adaptation of it. Except they do like the Matrix but are lost on the other two movies. My mother doesn't like it at all (ISTJ), she calls it frustrating nonsense. So it had me thinking is it just me? Is it an ENFP attraction or better yet could it be an Intuitive attraction. My INTJ enjoys it too and so does my INFJ brother in law and the INFP. Just the sensors in my life find it confusing and frustrated besides the XSFPs I know.
I think it’s an appeal to all type - perhaps the sprawl of why one is drawn to it differs from intuitive vs sensors , but I wouldn’t rule sensors out - my esfp cousin - istp husband and nearly everyone in my high school theater class loved Lewis Carroll . I love how the book could be interpreted in so many different ways. What’s your take on it ?


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I've always had a fascination with Alice in Wonderland. It has me wondering if the story arch is something that would just attract me or do you think it's an ENFP thing? If it's an ENFP thing would it there for attract all intuitive Ne/Ni strong groups. I've noticed sensors around me don't get the book and don't really get the cartoon or any adaptation of it. Except they do like the Matrix but are lost on the other two movies. My mother doesn't like it at all (ISTJ), she calls it frustrating nonsense. So it had me thinking is it just me? Is it an ENFP attraction or better yet could it be an Intuitive attraction. My INTJ enjoys it too and so does my INFJ brother in law and the INFP. Just the sensors in my life find it confusing and frustrated besides the XSFPs I know.

Can't say it fascinated me much when I was a kid, haven't read the book tho. I guess I liked all the weird stuff but I vaguely remember it being kinda dark? I was very sensitive to anything depressive or even hinting at negative feelings so I tended to avoid such cartoons. I don't know how kids liked Winnie the Pooh, I hated it. When I learned the characters actually have mental illnesses it explained everything for me lol.
 
Can't say it fascinated me much when I was a kid, haven't read the book tho. I guess I liked all the weird stuff but I vaguely remember it being kinda dark? I was very sensitive to anything depressive or even hinting at negative feelings so I tended to avoid such cartoons. I don't know how kids liked Winnie the Pooh, I hated it. When I learned the characters actually have mental illnesses it explained everything for me lol.
Yeah, I was huge Winnie the Pooh fan as well. Do people with mental disorders scare you or make you feel uncomfortable? I think people having Dementophobia might be more afraid of actually becoming more like someone who is mad but it is a real fear in some of the population. I wonder if you're uncomfortable about that subject matter, what about Trypophobia? There is something about clustered holes that set off fear in humans but it circulates around the same concept. Disease.

Yeah, there is a dark comic book adaptation of Alice ( I have every copy) that is extremely dark and horror. The book Alice does explore dark undertones but I like that. An example that wonderland isn't always perfect. I think Alice the book is not as dark as the movie but not as light-hearted as the cartoon. The original book of Alice had some dark undertones but not nearly as dark as some of the Grimms Fairytales. It points out an issue that in Victorian times, children grew up very fast and didn't really have a teenage section for growth.

I think it’s an appeal to all type - perhaps the sprawl of why one is drawn to it differs from intuitive vs sensors , but I wouldn’t rule sensors out - my esfp cousin - istp husband and nearly everyone in my high school theater class loved Lewis Carroll . I love how the book could be interpreted in so many different ways. What’s your take on it ?


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Yeah most XSFP gets it. XSFP seems to be the only one in my life that appreciates the novel and movies. Like my ESFP sister enjoys it, probably for its ability to point out random behavior. Though my only interactions with an ESTP and ISTP is that they were bored to tears of it. The ISTP would rather be working in the garage on his car and the ESTP would rather be watching the football game. The ESTP is married to an ISFJ who is an avid fan of Wizard of Oz but she wasn't a huge fan of Alice. When I questioned it to her why she likes one and not the other, her answer was that she could follow the plotline better with Oz, that Alice is just too far jumbled to make any sense of it. All the ISTJs I've ran into, just can't stand it. My stepfather ESTJ only appreciated it because he knew I liked watching it when I was sick. It wasn't his favorite or even made his top 100 films/books. He would rather watch something like Saving Private Ryan. My ESFJ friend again would watch it if she knew I was having a bad day. She was very aware of my favorite films to put on for me but I know hers would be something different. Alice also does not make her top 100.
 
Yeah, I was huge Winnie the Pooh fan as well. Do people with mental disorders scare you or make you feel uncomfortable? I think people having Dementophobia might be more afraid of actually becoming more like someone who is mad but it is a real fear in some of the population. I wonder if you're uncomfortable about that subject matter, what about Trypophobia? There is something about clustered holes that set off fear in humans but it circulates around the same concept. Disease.

Yeah, there is a dark comic book adaptation of Alice ( I have every copy) that is extremely dark and horror. The book Alice does explore dark undertones but I like that. An example that wonderland isn't always perfect. I think Alice the book is not as dark as the movie but not as light-hearted as the cartoon. The original book of Alice had some dark undertones but not nearly as dark as some of the Grimms Fairytales. It points out an issue that in Victorian times, children grew up very fast and didn't really have a teenage section for growth.

Not now but as a kid I had difficulty with processing negative emotions and my parents were not helpful in that regard cause they never communicated openly when it came to feelings. I was very observant and would pick up all undertones in emotional communications but didn't know how to process them well & consciously. The characters in Winnie suffer from depression, bipolar, existential dread and all that, and watching it would usually leave me confused & upset.

I checked the Alice movie now and rememberd I'd seen it a few times on TV now that you mention it, it's probably what I remember as being dark. I don't remember much of the cartoon.
 
What kinds of things turn you off romantically? Is this different for females vs. males?
I think it depends on the individual more so than the type it self

My list

Jealousy
Possessiveness
Neediness
Boredom
Lack of connection
Different ethical /political POV
Superstition
Lack of chemistry
Arrogance
Annoyance
When they attempt to read my mind


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What kinds of things turn you off romantically? Is this different for females vs. males?
Emotional manipulation/deceitfulness.
Weakness.
Disrespect.
Inoperative cruelty, i.e. bonafide "asshole" behavior that carries no underlying benefit, or serves no purpose.
Condescension.
Lack of depth.
Excessive insecurity.
Immaturity.
 
I think it’s an appeal to all type - perhaps the sprawl of why one is drawn to it differs from intuitive vs sensors , but I wouldn’t rule sensors out - my esfp cousin - istp husband and nearly everyone in my high school theater class loved Lewis Carroll . I love how the book could be interpreted in so many different ways. What’s your take on it ?


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What kinds of things turn you off romantically? Is this different for females vs. males?
1. Different Morals. (I react strongly against forms of bigotry)

2. Controlling me. I don't mind it in a sexual context but someone shouldn't tell me who I can hang out with or what I can eat.

3. Always pessimistic. I don't mind a little pessimism but if you're constantly gloomy I'll have a hard time wanting to be around you.

4. Not authentic. I need someone to be themselves. I can pick up on fake quickly.

5. Rude and cruelty. I probably will just ignore you.

6. Being too submissive. For some reason, a completely submissive male is a turn-off.

7. Must be a male. You must look like the opposite sex. I've tried out females and I've found out I'm not attracted to them. A transgender female turning male, maybe. I haven't fully experimented with that to know how I would react.

8. No Hygiene. I need you to smell good.

9. An intelligence above the average bell curve. Not necessarily within my range but you have to at least be able to provide feedback on conversations.

10. Not motivated. You can't be lazy. For some reason being too lazy is a turnoff.

11. Hot and cold. I'm attracted to males that know what they want and go for it.

12. Making fun of geek or nerds. I'm a nerd and a geek at heart. I generally enjoy items that fit within those categories, they don't necessarily need to be geeky or nerdy but at least respect those points that are a part of me.

13. Alcoholics. I've had some bad PTSD moments with people who are drunks every day of their lives and now react badly to it. I mean when you drink so much that I can smell it coming out of your pores 24/7. I now recognize that scent anywhere. The scent when someones been drinking and it comes out of every pore as they sweat. It gives me an upchuck feeling. I don't mind a little bit of bourbon, scotch, Irish whiskey collecting, craft beer, or wine. But don't drink 24/7.

14. Blowing cigarette smoke in my face. Smoking isn't a turn-off but blowing it in my face is. This also goes for chewing tobacco and trying to kiss me with it in your mouth. That's no.

15. Too picky of an eater. If all you like is cheeseburgers every day of your life and give me a long list of everything you hate and that list is longer than a CVS receipt. Yeah, I'm not the girl for you. I love my cooking and like to try out new recipes. I'm that type that when I land in Asia be prepared to try out interesting dishes.

16. Must be a friend. I don't date people I'm not already friends with. I can walk around with no chemistry for someone and then one day if it's the right timing can have chemistry for them after knowing them for a while. I've found dating men that are not friends first, the relationship burns in flames.

17. Men that try to use just "good-looks" chemistry have a harder time with me. I find the outward appearance of genetics "physical looks" to be a non-factor in if I'm attracted to someone. It's normally the above points that led me to switch my status from single to being in a partnership. If someone meets me at a coffee shop, gym, yoga class, library, art class, etc, and tries to pick me up on my appearance alone, I kind of look at them as if something is wrong with their reasoning center. It's more of a put-off. This is probably the main reason why I don't fall in love easily. I've never had the "fallen in love with someone at first-site." I find the expression highly shallow.
 
What kinds of things turn you off romantically? Is this different for females vs. males?
Good question! When it comes to what turns me off specifically, lemme see.

-Boring
-Shares none of my interests
-Unattractive
-Looks down on me for any of my interests and expects me to be normal
-Lacks creativity
-Unkind
-Has paper-thin skin & is easily offended
-Mentally weak, gives up easily
-Lacks loyalty
-Lacks honesty
-Dislikes and/or is mean to animals
-Too extreme in their views. Unable to see multiple/both sides of the situation
-Too quick to jump to conclusions and frequently disregards context and nuance.
-Doesn't appreciate my goals and drive to achieve them
-Has no goals and ambitions of their own.
-A blackpill defeatist mentality
-Arrogant
-No sense of humor
-Doesn't like to travel, lacks a sense of adventure.

Those are a few of em. There are probably more but that's good to start with XD.
 
What kinds of things turn you off romantically? Is this different for females vs. males?
I do have turn offs, but I have trouble making lists. They seem so definitive. I'll try though. Not going to bother listing things like having oozing pustules or being racist.

Overly unavailable, emotionally or just time-wise.
Not conversationally focused.
No interest in maintaining a sense of integrity, morality, ethics, even if it's somewhat idiosyncratic.
Unkind.
No interest in self-development.
 
Which speed dating category should I sign up for? I'm 26, male. Categories go: 22-30 and 25-35.

So I'm kinda in the middle...
Additional information: I do look younger than my actual age (about -3 years), but the again I enjoy mature company a lot more.
 
What is it like to be a Ne-dom?
Humm.

1. New tasks that interest my brain come very easy for it to pick up and learn. I seem to learn and retain things faster than others around me.

2. Get ready for a plethora of interests and hobbies. It always seems like my brain wants to learn something new today, like knitting.

3. Be prepared to have multiple tabs open and within a given day doing multiple things, sometimes all of them at the same time. There's never really a plan either. It might be chores, play the piano, painting, sketching, gardening, workout, beekeeping, trying a new recipe, planning a trip to Antarctica or the moon, inventing a kinetic energy device that transfers movement in the wrist to power your phone, inventing a way to cool down the oceans, throw in some work to get paid for statistical mathematical analysis for C19 papers, rage slam someone for being unethical on social media, stargaze in the evening, play with makeup, categorize and help study bird flu in ducks with peers that have also studied pathology, edit my fictional novel, edit photos, take photos, and in the afternoons lay down to study the different species of bees collecting around the flower collection all while looking at cloud shapes in the sky. The next day it could be a completely different list of things or the same but in a different order. I could spend a good portion of my day tomorrow perfecting my recipes of fried green tomatoes or just decided to daydream the way in a jog through the park. Nothing is ever really planned.

4. Ponder at nights while trying to go to sleep all the mysteries life has to offer and give up trying to go to sleep by taking a sleeping pill to force your brain to shut down from it's Ne/Te mode.

5. Can see several possible futuristic outcomes that people refer to you as possibly psychic. We see the bigger picture and can view trends and patterns very quickly that we could also be confused with telepaths.

6. The ultimate brainstorming personality that if paired with a proper J, can bottle all the ideas and become either super villains or superheroes.

7. Being Ne/Te heavy will be a very blunt personality that has no problem conversing with a stranger if engaged. The only issue is we can't control where our minds race us down and might explore unknown or odd conversations the stranger was not ready for. This with our lack of Fe (ethic decorum) gives us are very friendly yet weirdo or highly unique personality. Will be the weird friend you can't shut up.

I also have now realized from hanging out on the MBTI sites that how I experience relative to my age depends on its use. In my twenties, I would have stated Ne is the ability to learn and understand conceptual or real theory fast but rarely master each subject field. Now that I'm a full adult in my prime years with my Te fully strengthening behind my Ne, I not only learn concepts fast but several of my earlier talents have been mastered to the point I could be a professor in the field of the subject.
 
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