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So these are some questions from Chuck Klosterman's book "Sex, drugs and cocoa puffs". I won't post all, but below are a few for you to answer:

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks--he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence.

Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that--for some reason--every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots.

Would you attempt to do this?


3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.

Which option do you select?


4.You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?


5. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this?



6. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?


7. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this

8. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?



9. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.

What do you talk about?


10. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves).

This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?


11. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.”

Which of these two people do you trust less?

12. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.

Which option do you select?


13. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why.

Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?



14. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

Which film would you be most interested in seeing?


15. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you’ve learned form having lived your life previously.

Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?



16. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don’t believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.

Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you
 
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Wow, these questions are, in some ways, are pretty morbid and makes me feel shifty. But... sure why not, I'll give it a go (is there a catch to me answering these questions? I hope not!). I'm assuming these are "no thinking outside of the box!" types of questions?

1. I think I'd be impressed by the magician more as I would be highly curious of how he got these magical powers. There's a lot documented about Einstein that I could always read into unlike this mysterious magician whom no one really knows.

2. This question definitely is on my "why do you play with my heartstrings like this...?" list. I... erghh, I couldn't do it. I genuinely feel sorry for both parties, the prisoners and the horse. Like... please, let the horse go, and let these assuming innocent prisoners be released without harm... wow I feel teary eyed just thinking about this.

3. Um, well, I noticed this question didn't say I had to make it known that it is Hitler's skull. It's basically a weird house decoration to an everyday stranger? I mean, sounds like I could make up a story of how it's some skull uncovered by my great great grandfather and how it's just something that was passed down...
The turtle, too many variables of me screwing up and I can't guarantee I'd be able to pay a fine if something out of my control happened, like a house fire.

4. *sigh* I suppose I'd take the fall and choose the pill option. No idea how mentally stable I'd be in life though considering how I feel so moved by varied songs and soundtracks.
:crying:

5. No thanks. I'll keep my dreams private, like I've always have anyway.

6. I suppose the president story. I think it has bigger implications in a domestic and worldly sense. Not like you could casually skim to page F4 and read about the captured monsters. Most political things make the front page anyway.

7. Hm, I feel as though this isn't a deal breaker. Apparently I already can share stimulating intellectual conversations and compassionate with said person. Hell, I'd probably go along and engage in these philosophical meanings she finds in her favorite movie...

8. None. Absolutely none. This really goes against my value of letting romance attraction happen naturally over time.

9. Well gosh, this is a very, very odd situation I'd be in. Maybe I'd give a speech about I'm glad how they've influenced me in positive ways? Somehow give them a pedestal to stand on? I'm assuming no cheating scandals were involved. Hah, I really don't know to react to this question :laughing:

10. Hm, I'd like to assume they'd find it amusing since it paints the human and dog being oblivious to Garfield's witty and sarcastic nature; would parallel to how humans would continue to assume cats don't posses that much intelligence. But man, that sure doe paint a suffocating mental image of not being able to express your knowledge...

11. The man with no past I'd trust less since it sounds like he did something really profound, so much that he 'erased' it and wouldn't an open person to speak with.

12. Hey why not, let's go to the moon! There's a higher probability of me going to Europe anytime in my life compared to spending just an ounce of it on the moon. It would be absolutely breathtaking to see Earth from the outside in person!

13. Ouch... like really, ouch...
Um, I'd say I was sleep walking...? Thankfully, this question doesn't say I cause this person to suffer from fractured ribs, and plus, I doubt my hardest kick would be *that* hard.

14. Sure, I'll go with the more "fair" documentary. It would be interesting to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly from people I personally knew. Would give me plenty to reflect on...

15. Ha! I cannot answer this since I haven't lost it.

16. The first rumor since I would carry much guilt over being involved in a cheating situation.
 

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1. Yes, the magician would be considerably more impressive than Einstein given that he can conjure matter/energy at his command.

2. No. Political prisoner is a broad term that can include all kinds of people. Not all of them are guaranteed to have the best intentions, I suspect. Also, those who are active against a government are aware of the risk. I might sympathize with some, depending on what the situation is, but it's still a choice and they know what they're getting into.

3. Hitler's skull because it is just a skull. As long as there is no political significance attached to doing this, which there isn't in this case, I don't care. $120 a month, why not?

4. Hahaha. Alice in Chains is one of my favorite bands. That being said, if it weren't for the fact that someone's bones would break, I would probably not want to hear only Staley's voice all of the time. I would swallow the pill because I don't want anyone to come to harm, of course.

5. No, unless I can choose which dreams to show?

6. Probably the Loch Ness Monster story only because it's built such a mystique.

7. Well, if she is that 'perfect' to me, no it wouldn't stop me (however, I'm not interested in marriage). That question is a bit of a trap because someone who hates the movie The Dark Crystal would probably not find that person ideal?

8. None, until he displays a better 'sample' of his work. Would I only be more attractive in my own perception or by others as well? And how long do the effects last?

9. There wouldn't be many in attendance so whatever. I would talk about where I am in my life today.

10. Some cats might and others might not. Probably not too different than people in terms of preference for cartoons or certain kinds of humor.

11. In what sense is "no past" used here? Assuming there is no memory impairment, I would have to go with trusting the man with a past more. People can learn from their experiences and could have good advice for others (best case scenario).

12. A year in Europe, although $2000/mo. won't get you much in many areas? Don't get me wrong, the moon would be amazing but 10 minutes is not enough time. I suppose the trip to the moon would be an interesting experience but tube food doesn't sound appealing and I get motion sick.

13. Hmm. There was no indication as to whether this would be done standing or lying down? I could claim that I was napping too and kicked because of a disturbing dream. And if I were to kick lying down, as hard as I could, there's really no way that it could have the same impact as if I were to kick from an upright position.

14. The Hollywood version would probably be more entertaining and I'm interested to see how they decided to dramatize most of it. However, I'm curious enough to know exactly how others see(n) me so I'll go with the documentary.

15. Earlier. I never had sex until college. Probably had an opportunity during my senior year of HS when I was 18 so I'll go with that. That's roughly a 2-2.5 year difference.

16. The most troubling to me is the rumor that I'm stealing office supplies because it didn't actually happen in this case. Assuming that the coworker I had sex with isn't in an open marriage, there's no excuse for what was done and the rumors are a consequence of that action.
 

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1. While the magician might be powerless beyond the magic of his parlor tricks, such feats would still be remarkable to our seemingly non-magical world, and worthy of study. In terms of potential contribution to the field of science - and human understanding in general - such a person would indeed be a worthy rival to Einstein.

2. No. First of all, to say that I would be saving every political prisoner on Earth is a lie, because there are many whose existence is not known to Amnesty International. (Call it sour grapes, but I just thought I should point that out.) Second of all, there's no guarantee I would be able to put the poor thing out of its misery in less than twenty minutes, and to cause it suffering just to have the mere chance of releasing relatively few people from captivity... well, that's not good enough.

3. Hitler's skull. It would be an interesting conversation-starter, there's no harm in keeping the dead head of a genocidal dictator around, and I could use the money.

4. Sorry, soulmate - I couldn't bear to live in a world where I can't listen to Fortunate Son the way it was meant to be heard, among other things. Music means too much to me for it to sound like the work of a mediocre band. At least it's only every three years, right? [guilt intensifies]

5. Hell yes I would. And if they have a problem with what they're seeing, I'll ditch them, make more supportive friends, and form a family-of-choice... so that way I won't technically be violating the conditions the next time I want to watch my dreams.

6. The President thing matters the most, really. The Scots and the Northwesterners can have a page each somewhere in the back of the paper - retribution for the times Nessie and Bigfoot have been on the front of the tabloids for no good reason.

7. If and only if they're willing to put up with my obscure references in return. I wouldn't mind a spouse like that.

8. What the hell am I doing in Chicago? Well, no matter - since the city is crime-ridden and no one but the wizard will notice, I mug him for all he's got on him. My stunning good looks could use the nerf anyway (they're too overpowered as it is), and it would be worth it to potentially put this pop culture -mancer out of business.

9. I'll profusely thank the catering service for providing food for a free banquet at which I am the only guest. My speech would be heartfelt, sincere, and long, because I love food, especially when I (apparently) don't have to pay for it. (Insert joke about being forever alone here.)

10. It really depends on the cat. I can't lump their personalities all together.

11. I assume my acquaintance is untrustworthy - to say such vague things, he's clearly talking out of his ass.

12. Europe. I've always wanted to see it, and I'm not sure I would last ten minutes on the moon without suffocating.

13. Let them die peacefully. My hardest kick could literally cause them to bleed to death anyway, and that would be... less pleasant.

14. Hollywood version. I already know what my life's like and have a pretty good idea of what people think of me, but I want to hear the audience-acclaimed story that is only loosely based on my exploits! It would be entertaining.

15. First of all, this question does not do this scenario justice. I can't answer, as I haven't yet.

16. The first - I'd be less worried about the fallout and more worried about whatever compelled me to get into that situation. As for the second rumor, people will believe what they want. And hey, no one would expect me to be stupid enough to steal office supplies while under so much scrutiny, making it the perfect crime...
 

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1. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

Not more, and not less. Equally as impressive.

2.
Would you attempt to do this?

Not in a million years no no no.

3.
Which option do you select?

Turtle, because I would have to live with stomach ache and nausea due to home décor for at least two years. Not worth losing my health.

4.
Would you swallow the pill?

I either swallow the pill or give up being with my soulmate so he can be safe. I'd find second best and be with that person instead. Or you know... swallow the pill. Not sure yet.

5.
Would you still do this?

No, why would I want to watch my own dreams (even alone)? That's a weird desire and I do not have it *confused*

6.
You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

Loch Ness creature.

7.
Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this ?

I can handle it haha

8.
How much cash do you give the wizard?

Zero. Why would I want to pay for an attractiveness spell when I don't even spent 1 euro on make-up... I'm not interested in that kind of things tbh... I'd spend my money on more important things.

9.
What do you talk about?

The food..? I have nothing to talk about with those people.

10.
This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

They would love it! find him funny and entertaining. It's like humans watching Homer Simpson. HILARIOUS! xD

11.
Which of these two people do you trust less?

The man with no past. Gives me chills :S

12.
Which option do you select?

Are u kidding! a year in Europe and 2000! Why the hell would I go to the moon? There's nothing to do there, whereas there's TONS to do and experience in Europe every single day.

13.
Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

That I feel over. If they were sleeping, they'd have no idea what hit their ribs, a foot, a fist, a whole skeleton...? Yeah I fell because I tripped over furniture.

14.
Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The first one, so I could see what my people say, and I would know who's my friend, who's my enemy and who's my frienemy. It'd be an opportunity to clean up my social circle.

15.
Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

Same age, same person, same day, same time... it was absolutely perfect and there's nothing to change.

16.
Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

The second one :S
 

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1. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

No, 'dis black magic. Einstein's work was part genius, part hard work--more impressive than pure effortless ability

2. Would you attempt to do this?

No, not because I wouldn't have the heart to kill the horse, at least not entirely. I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to kill it by kicking it for 20 minutes, even with steel toe boots. I wouldn't try because it wouldn't be worth beating it up if I can't kill it in that timeframe.

3. Which option do you select?

Hitler's skull. How many can really tell one skull from another skull? But then again who would ask about it? It'd be an interesting conversation starter and $120 month sounds great

4. Would you swallow the pill?

No, music should not be ruined like that forever. However, I wouldn't want him to suffer like that even every 3 years. Fortunately for us, I don't believe in any one soulmate. There's merely a lot of people in the world that you could or couldn't get along with very well. If he decides he's willing to go through it for me, well, doggone, that'd be awful from standpoint. No way, are we going to be stuck in misery, physical pain, and guilt together. We'll find new soulmates and have Doctor Who marathons together as friends instead

5. Would you still do this?

Yeah, totally. My dreams are pretty entertaining

6. You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

The Loch Ness Monster is bigger, scarier, and has captured the interest of more people in a more positive way. Many different leaders and celebrities have become sick before, people in general all do. If it was more chaotic or extreme than thyroid cancer, like a rare disease or an attack, it'd be more important to cover a nation's leader. However, a Loch Ness monster is more global, exciting, and world changing

7. Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this

I like Dark Crystal, but not this much. If it's often, sure. I obsess over certain shows too. If it's with every single thing you could possibly imagine, I'm sorry, but I might eventually hurt you--it might be better to remain good friends

8. How much cash do you give the wizard?

Nothing, I'm awesome as I am.

9. What do you talk about?

N/A

10. This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

Yeah! Most people enjoy anything that pokes fun at anything. There might be some cats that are insulted, but most would likely find it an amusing depiction

11. Which of these two people do you trust less?

The man with no past. No history, no predictability. Oh, and he may've be caught up in big crime and stuff

12. Which option do you select?

Can't I have just one check of $2,000 dollars and a telescope? I like the comforts of my home, especially since as exciting as standing on the moon sounds that's all I can do and I don't know if I also get a suit

13. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

There was a roach crawling on you, man, didn't want it to climb up into your nose... or I'd pitch a chair on the ground, so it looks like I tripped

14. Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The realistic one, I'd want to tear though the depressing music that seems to play in every documentary to see what information they dug up on me.

15. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

All that build up for that? Also, N/A

16. Which rumor is more troubling to you?

Neither since neither are true
 

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1. Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

The person would be more impressive, but not his actions

2. Would you attempt to do this?

I guess if I could close my eyes and wear earplugs. But I'd like to analyze the list of political prisoners before to make sure the people should justly be released

3. Which option do you select?

The skull probably because I generally don't associate dead, inanimate body parts with their living forms

4. Would you swallow the pill?

I don't really believe in soul mates and I like music so no

5. Would you still do this?

Sure

6. You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

The Loch Ness Monster. It's cool as hell and I have a preference toward the aquatic

7. Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this

No? No.

8. How much cash do you give the wizard?

Probably around ten dollars because subtle change is interesting

9. What do you talk about?

Communism

10. This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

I think there would be a revolution about societal speciesism and a lack of strong cat role models in film and media

11. Which of these two people do you trust less?

The man with no past because of the tabula rasa or something but honestly I would probably just leave

12. Which option do you select?

Europe because I think it would take more than 10 seconds for me to process actually being on the moon

13. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

Turrets

14. Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The second one because (and this is such and infp thing to say) I care more about perception and creation than truth in a situation like that

15. Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

I don't like to think about changing the past since so many tiny choices make up the outcome of our present reality

16. Which rumor is more troubling to you?

The second one probably
 

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1.Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?
Would he be able to stop all famine with all those magically created rabbits? Now *that* would be pretty damn impressive (though pretty unethical, given how many cute bunnies should be killed in the process!) But if his abilities could only be used for entertainment, would it make any difference wether his magic was real or not?

2.Would you attempt to do this?
No. I couldn't kill the horse, no way. Not by painfully kicking to death, anyway. Time to face the consequences of my past fuck-ups.

3.Which option do you select?
Turtle. If I ever would get a pet, it would propably be a turtle. This one was a non-brainer to me.

4.Would you swallow the pill?
No, swallowing the pill would lead to a suicide. And that would propably hurt my soul mate even more than having collarbones broken every three years.

5.Would you still do this?
Yes, the opportunity would be so lifechanging that it would be worth the downsides. And there really isn't anything no even be shamed of, weird, sexual or messed-up dreams are completely natural to humans.

6.You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?
Something completely else, I wouldn't believe the first two to be true, and the last is boring. Obviously I shouldn't be the one deciding :)

7.Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this?
Propably not. No-ones perfect. I, too, like some weird things and some people would say them obsessions.

8.How much cash do you give the wizard?
None. I would much prefer being my true, not-so-sexy self. How could I even trust the spell would have no side effects in long term?

9.What do you talk about?
I've never slept with anyone, so this wouldn't happen.

10.This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?
If we humans find jokes about humans funny, why wouldn't cats find jokes about cats funny? Impossible to say really.

11.Which of these two people do you trust less?
The man *with* a past, no doubt.

12.Which option do you select?
Well I'm already in Europe, but $24,000 wouldn't hurt, with that money I could make all make dreams come true. An easy choice.

13.Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?
I would kick them, explain that something just clicked in my head, apologize from the bottom of my being and leave my current life, seeking a new start somewhere else, never contacting my friend again. Just so I wouldn't accidentally say the thing to my them.

14.Which film would you be most interested in seeing?
The documentary. Seeing my own life from the vantage point of others would be much more valuable than some Hollywood nonsense.

15.Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?
I don't even know when that will happen on the "first round" (if ever, I can't predict the future. It either happens or not, it's not that big of a deal if it doesn't). The time of losing my virginity would be the least of my problems in such a scenario.

16.Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?
The lie. I wouldn't stand someone else than me trying to ruin my reputition.
 

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Klosterman is pretty awesome, even if he makes me (and everybody else) feel uneasy. I wonder what his MBTI type is...

1. No. Someone of Einstein's intellect is magical, in it's own way.
2. Eh, not all political prisoners are there for good reasons... right? At least that's the excuse I'll give myself as I don't kick the horse.
3. Hmm, I mean, it's not like I'm wearing an "I love Hitler" T-shirt... On the other hand, I'm pretty confident Dr. Google and I could keep a turtle alive... Turtles are cute, I choose turtle.
4. I like AIC, but I love variety of music... I guess I'd take the pill.
5. Hell no.
6. Gotta be loyal to my home region. Big Foot.
7. Wouldn't stop.
8. $50
9. Time travel
10. Not enjoy it (I'd show them Calvin and Hobbes)
11. Anybody who says "Man with no past"
12. Europe. Easiest question.
13. I was so drunk?
14. The indy one, of course.
15. Earlier, by at least 4 years.
16. First one.
 

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1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks--he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence.

Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?
Well, it was Einstein himself who said "if you judge a fish's intelligence by it's ability to climb a tree, it'll spend it's whole life believing it is stupid."...I think this guy is impressive in his own way. Not in intelligence maybe, but certainly in magical skill.

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that--for some reason--every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots.

Would you attempt to do this?
Nope. I volunteer at a horse rescue...is this even a debate? :laughing:


3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.

Which option do you select?
Hitler's skull. It'll make for an interesting conversation piece, and besides, no one really goes into my living room anyway.


4.You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?
Erm, um, uh...I'd talk it over with my soul mate and see what they'd prefer I suppose??


5. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this?
How about no. I'd rather keep my weird sex dreams and worst nightmares to myself. :laughing:


6. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?
While I'm tempted to say the president for the WTF factor...I guess I'd go with Sasquatch story. It's the one I could probably wring the most sensationalism out of...


7. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this
Heck no. I love the Dark Crystal!

8. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?
0. I don't want the spell. I might give him $20 or so if he's looking like he's in need of the money, though.


9. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.

What do you talk about?
Whatever the heck I want; there'd be no one to hear it... :th_wink:


10. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves).

This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?
I think it would vary...some would probably feel a kinship with Garfield, others would probably feel he's everything that's wrong in the cat world and go on religious rants about it...hmm, maybe a good thing they can't write.


11. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.”

Which of these two people do you trust less?
Better the devil you know, I guess? I'd want more details on the past and the demeanors of these individuals to make a good judgement, though.

12. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.

Which option do you select?
Tough one....I think I'd go with the moon...then maybe gather some moondust for sell for $24,000 and a trip to Europe. :wink:


13. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why.

Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?
"You had a spider on you."

14. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

Which film would you be most interested in seeing?
I guess the Hollywood one. I like a good story and I'd be curious to see what the screenwriters did with it. I already know the honest account of my life after all--I'm the one living it!

15. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you’ve learned form having lived your life previously.

Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?
No answer.

16. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don’t believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.

Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you
The second, honestly. I care too much about what other people think of me.
 

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1. It would make me question the validity of the laws of physics, thus therefore I will be more impressed with the magician than with Einstein.

2. No. Under no circumstances I would kill an animal nor would I ever kill a human being. I would find another way to help the prisoners.

3. The turtle. I would rather do my very best to keep the turtle alive than display the skull of a dead man (and a very controversial dead man at that). I wouldn't even display Hitler his skull if they offered me a million a month. Perhaps the public will not find out it is Hitler his skull, because the display is apolitical, however I will always know it is his skull and I will not be able to live with that.

4. Yes I will swallow the pill. Meeting my soulmate is one of my life goals and the connection we would share would be a lot more important to me than even music. Thus I will happily hear Alice in Chains basically re-mixing all the tunes in the world if that prevents my soulmate's collarbones from being broken every few years.

5. No. Most of my dreams are very private to me and I want to be in control of what I share and what I don't. Thus I'd rather forget 75% of them than that I record them and watch them with others.

6. The president will be on the front page. I wouldn't agree with the capture of Nessy and Big Foot, so I wouldn't give any attention to the story. I might allow an opinionated article to be printed somewhere on page 3, calling for the release of both creatures, but I will certainly not give them the huge exposure that comes with a frontpage article.

7. I wouldn't like it, but the perfect person is actually kinda boring. Flaws and quirks are interesting. It certainly wouldn't stop me from marrying the person.

8. $0

9. Ehhmmm. This is awkward.......

10. That depends if the cats have a sense of humor and can understand what satire is (and that the Garfield cartoons are satirical). I think it will be the same as with humans. Some will laugh at it, some will be insulted.

11. The man with a past may have learned from his experiences and may have improved himself. The man with no past is a blank canvas and will make more errors in the future than the man with a past. That is why I will trust the man with no past less.

12. I live in Europe. I don't care a lot about money. 10 minutes on the moon it is. By the way, I would have picked that option as well if I lived on another continent.

13. Two things. I would ask them if they trust me. Hopefully they say yes. After that I will say that I had to pick between two evils and that I choose the option that was the lesser of the two evils.

14. Hmmmm. I don't like the unauthorized part. I don't like it that everyone who sees the movie will know facts about my life, some of them very private. Hmmm. Bring on the blockbuster movie. I was Thor, really!

15. I wouldn't lose it at all.

16. The false rumor. Mostly because it will be harder to make that rumor go away, since I cannot deny or confirm the truth of it.
 

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1. No, this person would not be more impressive than Albert Einstein, because even if a wizard, he might be dumber than a brick for not learning to perform more impressive magic.

2. No- I couldn't kick a beautiful horse to death. I love Clydesdales

3. The option of the turtle is my actual LIFE, because I am the proud owner of 2 little turtles that have lived for 7-9 years. Yes it's tempting to make $ by showing off a notorious dictator's skull, but not enough money. I'll keep my turtles.

4. Would you swallow the pill? NO! I feel awful for my poor husband, but I LOVE music, and singing and the variety of singing voices TOO much. (This one made me laugh so much I couldn't breathe for several seconds, thank you very much. :) I think Nickleback would have even been worse than Alice in Chains- I did actually like a few of their songs.)


5. Absolutely NOT. I don't care to watch my own dreams anyway. Who wants to watch themselves look for a bathroom and find only dirty public restrooms with the doors open?

6. I'd choose the Loch Ness Monster story!

7. Yes! Of course! Then I don't have to hide my wanting to talk about Disney movies. He can talk about 'Dark Crystal' all he wants. I'd LOVE it!!!

8. About $30. The price of a new blouse?

9. HA! It would be just my HUSBAND!! Like a private dinner date.

10. I think they'd love Garfield. They would be insulted by Internet memes, such as LOLcats, that is certain.

11. The second person.

12. Europe! A space trip to the moon scares me.


13. That there was a poisonous scorpion crawling on them?


14. The second.


15. Later- by only a year. (I love this scenario, more important than the virginity thing would be that I'd change my college major.)


16. The second, because I'd DESERVE the shame of the first!
 

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1. The questions that the magician raises would be more impressive because they'd contradict everything I think I know. So I'd probably find them more impressive because of all the implications of their abilities.
2. This one makes me feel sick. I wouldn't do it, but that's because I know that the motivation wouldn't be enough to overcome my disgust. If all the political prisoners were facing death then it might be a different answer.
3. I would want to choose the turtle, but I already have a tortoise but they're more difficult and the risk of messing up would be too much. I'd choose Hitler's skull and I'd probably prefer to put it in my bathroom though.
4. I would swallow the pill. The thought of someone I love going through that would be too much for me. It would be quite awesome to hear my mom singing karaoke and Alice in Chains coming out :)
5. I would do it although with some of the crazy dreams I've had it would probably be both really good and really bad at the same time.
6. I would go with the President's thyroid cancer, it is likely to make more of an impact on other people's lives.
7. No it wouldn't be enough to stop me from marrying them.
8. I wouldn't give the wizard any money.
9. I'd thank them all for sharing that experience with me regardless of how it turned out and if any of them claim that the kid was mine I'd ask for a paternity test :)
10. I think the average cat might quite enjoy it.
11. I'd probably sit with the man with a past.
12. I'd choose 10 minutes on the moon.
13. I'd say that I must have been sleep walking and done it without realising. I doubt it would convince anyone.
14. I'd be more interested in the screenwriter, cinematographer, actor and screenwriter's creation, than footage of myself I've already seen and the opinions of people I know I can ask to talk about me already. If it's somebody else I'd prefer the documentary.
15. I'd lose mine later by about a year depending on other circumstances.
16. Definitely the sex with the married woman rumour because it's true.
 

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Okay, I'll play. Answers inside:

 

So these are some questions from Chuck Klosterman's book "Sex, drugs and cocoa puffs". I won't post all, but below are a few for you to answer:

1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks--he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence.

Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?
Albert Einstein is more impressive, did it all with his whittle ol' mind, impressive. Magic is cheap and for the lazy genius.

2. Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that--for some reason--every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots.

Would you attempt to do this?
I do not kill the horse. The political prisoners stay where they are. I do not kill one creature to save a multitude of others, there are better ways of saving the prisoners.


3. Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.

Which option do you select?
I do NOT like the mojo associated with Hitler. I pick the turtle. Even if it dies, $999.00 won't break me. I will not take $120.00 to display something that has, in my eyes, bad mojo.


4.You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?
Sure. I hate Alice In Chains, btw.


5. At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device of you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this?
No. I really have nothing to hide with my dreams, however, there is no real payoff for me with having family view my dreams. I can remember some of my dreams, I'm satisfied with the dreams I can remember.



6. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?
President goes on the front page.


7. You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this
No. I'd still marry them and buy a set of earplugs.

8. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?
Zero. Being "attractive" to others (physically, mentally, intellectually) means about as much to me as joining a nunnery appeals to Bill Clinton. I'd tell the wizard to move on. You really think I want added interaction and attention from others in my life? No friggin' way.



9. Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.

What do you talk about?
I don't. I get up and say "I don't do public speaking" and I sit down. That is it. I stand back up and say "If anyone wants to fill the 15 minutes, go ahead and be my guest..."


10. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves).

This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?
From what I can remember both Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield are lame cartoons. In my opinion, cats would enjoy Doonesbury, Snoopy or Binky more, it's funnier.


11. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.”

Which of these two people do you trust less?
I don't like either of these people and I leave both of them alone.

12. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.

Which option do you select?
Europe.


13. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why.

Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?
I say "I tripped, I'm sorry, what he hell were you doing on the floor, I didn't see you" and if the friend leaves and gets mad, life saved, I'm happy.



14. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

Which film would you be most interested in seeing?
I know what happened in my real life, I'd love to see the fantasy. BTW, I HATE anything brutally honest, so that movie is penalized from me right from the get go.


15. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you’ve learned form having lived your life previously.

Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?
I would do it just as I did it originally.



16. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don’t believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.

Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you
I don't care what others think, I care what is true for me. I don't mind the false rumor, because I'm innocent and I can live with that. But you asked "most troubling" so if I was involved with a married coworker, that would be most troubling so I pick that.
 
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