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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The question I am about to ask is going to sound a bit trivial and childish, but I am going to ask it anyways because feelings.

There is this woman I really like at work. We have only worked a few shifts(she was just hired) and we really hit it off. There are a couple questions I would like to ask regarding as to what I should do. The main reason I am asking this is because my shift this week won't allow me to see her all this week (which isn't all that long but I really like this girl and want to talk to her). She also is a supervisor going on manager while I am just a standard worker, not to mention the whole thing on dating co-workers. She is a couple years older than me. I am almost certain she is attracted to me, putting me in a position to plan out my next move.

I would really like to talk to her. I do have her number but I don't really want to text her, it just seems to middle school/high school. I also don't want to her call out of the blue because.. well, idk what to call her about :unsure:

The following points are what I would like a response to, given the information you have received:


1) Should I just wait until I see her again to talk to her? I won't see her for at least a week and I don't know what next week will be like(though I think we will be working at least one shift together by then). Perhaps I should let her know I enjoyed working with her and would like to be scheduled with her next week? I don't know :/

2) Would you suggest it wise to date a co-worker, granted someone with a bit more "authority"? I have another job and I only work her a couple times a week due to how slow we are, so it's not like I would be there all the time but the fact remains. It's also not an office setting, it's just a cafe.

I know this seems like a silly thread, but it has been a while since I developed feelings for a woman. My last two serious relationships have ended in crushing heartache and I haven't really given women a chance since my last relationship (couple years ago). Any other advice would be greatly appreciated.
 

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First: Do you know her type? If so I (and everyone else on this forum) can be of more help.

Second: Is she your manager, or a manager in general? If your answer is the former, I would suggest not dating her in your position, if the former, I would say it's a bit more acceptable.

Third: Call her and ask her to help you with a problem you've been having at work. When she asks what it is, tell her you really like this girl, but you didn't know when/how to contact her, so you just decided to call her and ask her what she thinks. She should pick up on this. If she doesn't, you might have to explain a little more. If you have to do too much explaining though, I would probably drop the idea of a relationship. NTs tend to have problems with the incompetent. (No offense.)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
First: Do you know her type? If so I (and everyone else on this forum) can be of more help.

Second: Is she your manager, or a manager in general? If your answer is the former, I would suggest not dating her in your position, if the former, I would say it's a bit more acceptable.

Third: Call her and ask her to help you with a problem you've been having at work. When she asks what it is, tell her you really like this girl, but you didn't know when/how to contact her, so you just decided to call her and ask her what she thinks. She should pick up on this. If she doesn't, you might have to explain a little more. If you have to do too much explaining though, I would probably drop the idea of a relationship. NTs tend to have problems with the incompetent. (No offense.)
I never really type people. I should probably start.

Like I said, she is a supervisor going on manager (assistant manager to be specific). I also don't know about that calling thing as it seems a bit corny lol. What do you mean NT's having problems with the incompetent?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I have deduced her type as either ESFP, ESFJ or ENFJ.

EDIT: ESFP is the most likely one, me thinks.
 

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I also don't know about that calling thing as it seems a bit corny lol.
Maybe to you and me, but from what I understand, SFs love it. And the E part of me would love to hear it.

What do you mean NT's having problems with the incompetent?
Like, we have problems working with them. And relationships work best when there's a mutual respect between partners. maybe it could work out.
 

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....

The following points are what I would like a response to, given the information you have received:

1) Should I just wait until I see her again to talk to her? I won't see her for at least a week and I don't know what next week will be like(though I think we will be working at least one shift together by then). Perhaps I should let her know I enjoyed working with her and would like to be scheduled with her next week? I don't know :/

2) Would you suggest it wise to date a co-worker, granted someone with a bit more "authority"? I have another job and I only work her a couple times a week due to how slow we are, so it's not like I would be there all the time but the fact remains. It's also not an office setting, it's just a cafe.
Have you ever thought about yourself and how you see yourself in this job, rather than the fact that she is a new boss, and she possibly is trying to work with you in a friendly manner ? I will be direct and say that I am possibly the dumbness girl alive when it comes to colleague relationships, but I have and is now more aware of who is interested and who is not, and in a certain setting, this is actually not a good thing to make a move to. If you like her, work with her for a little while, and decide to cut this job and work elsewhere even before you ask her out. I think that is the most magnanimous thing to do.

Most women have to deal with things like this and it is not a nice thing to do, cos if she rejects you, you will take it personally, and then you will affect your job and decide to perform badly, cos you may or may not realise this.

Yet, if you are interested, in some odd way, it seems to keep you so much more motivated....

Some older guys will state this, and make the working environment so much harder ?? Others, just see it as a casual thing.
Keeping a lively atmosphere is what people do in a cafe.... and being nice to one another and probably take care of each other and notice what is going on each other's lives in a casual way is probably the norm.

I would think twice... At the moment, I am sure that because she is new, and she caught you with her looks or something then you suddenly decided to go for broke.

It is actually really hard to steer the working environment's mindfields... and you trying to ask her out is going to be one of them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Have you ever thought about yourself and how you see yourself in this job, rather than the fact that she is a new boss, and she possibly is trying to work with you in a friendly manner ? I will be direct and say that I am possibly the dumbness girl alive when it comes to colleague relationships, but I have and is now more aware of who is interested and who is not, and in a certain setting, this is actually not a good thing to make a move to. If you like her, work with her for a little while, and decide to cut this job and work elsewhere even before you ask her out. I think that is the most magnanimous thing to do.

Most women have to deal with things like this and it is not a nice thing to do, cos if she rejects you, you will take it personally, and then you will affect your job and decide to perform badly, cos you may or may not realise this.

Yet, if you are interested, in some odd way, it seems to keep you so much more motivated....

Some older guys will state this, and make the working environment so much harder ?? Others, just see it as a casual thing.
Keeping a lively atmosphere is what people do in a cafe.... and being nice to one another and probably take care of each other and notice what is going on each other's lives in a casual way is probably the norm.

I would think twice... At the moment, I am sure that because she is new, and she caught you with her looks or something then you suddenly decided to go for broke.

It is actually really hard to steer the working environment's mindfields... and you trying to ask her out is going to be one of them.
Valid point. I suppose the smart move would be to see how it plays out. I just need to battle this urge to talk to her xD
 
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