Quiet
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Yes. and No. When I'm around someone I like I'll have moments of having tons to say and moments where my mind is blank and my mouth doesn't move. I can't control it. It just happens.
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I have to like the person very, very much to be comfortably quiet around them. I have to trust the relationship.
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It is like SlowPoke68 says, but when courting or just initializing a relationship with someone deemed possibly worthy, I can be really ...... suspicious, observing and careful.... which is the opposite of me normally. Or rather, the opposite of the PERCEIVED me. Nevertheless, confronted with the object of possible desire my behaviour becomes weird and I feel insecure and incompetent (or as a child). Which I dont like. So I definitely often lose my "cool".... ;-)
I'm a fairly quiet person to begin with, so it kinda taint's it. If I like you I make an effort to talk and be around you, to get know you. I'm opening up more and more so in another 6 months, I may not fit the classification of quiet anymore. I do tend to enjoy just feeling the presence or energy of someone I'm close to, just the silence seems to propagate that feeling and it keeps things real. Proves that people exist to me at least.
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998 Posts
I SOMETIMES get quiet, but it's because I get scared of saying something. It's just be cause I don't have something I feel like saying at the time. Generally, though, I don't shut up. And I ask a lot of questions. More than other people. People have even called it "creepy" before, so I'm trying to down it when I'm just getting to know someone, or give a reason for asking the question, and then follow it up with my own take on the question.
Likewise.
When there's silence in someones company...I feel the need to talk even more than usual so I don't feel exposed.
I can only be quiet with really good friend, that know me well.
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998 Posts
I used to be like that too, and then I realized how irrational it is. So I've toyed with just shutting up and seeing what the other person does (if we don't know each other that well). I've also played around with just slowing the talking speed down since that makes everyone more relaxed. Social skills are a fun thing to play with.Likewise.
When there's silence in someones company...I feel the need to talk even more than usual so I don't feel exposed.
I'm working on that. I'm doing the part where I slow talking speed down so people feel more relaxed. Got to reach the feeling of comfort even if other person doesn't speak. Ah that will be selftorture lol.
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60 Posts
I"m just curious. I'm not a young girl, but I do like someone very much, who is an entp. Around everyone else he is very talkative, but around me, he is very quiet. Hangs around me a lot, but doesn't say much. I find myself the same way around him.
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1,618 Posts
Sounds like me when I am "figuring someone out" (=possible prospect). Sounds promising for you.... If you want a relationship that is.
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251 Posts
I think I used to get quiet around guys I liked. Not anymore though. I think I am maybe too intimidating now? Don't ask me...I don't follow regular dating protocol.
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Heh, ditto.
And I almost wasn't gonna read the 2nd page of this thread-
This is also true on forums i guess, though...
. . .
Yeah, sometimes I smoke drugs and think about how different I am than most people and its kinda cathartic as it feeds my ENTP narcissism but also kinda sad because I know there's no way to escape the excrutiating process of wading through SJ donkers to find people worth talking to.
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998 Posts
This usually has little to do with personality type and more to do with him not being that skilled in the ladies department. I used to be like that until I made it a conscious goal of mine to get over. It's a "fear of saying something stupid in front of this important person". I got over it by talking to five new girls everyday. Sounds crazy but it worked. I am now a ladies man
. That's what I tell myself at least hehe. See, around almost everyone ENTPs are very talkative. So the only logical explanation for his silence is fear.
My advice is to find an interest of his. Ask him "what's your hobby?" And then "what is it you love so much about it?". That'll make him more comfortable, and now you've gone from chit-chat into a conversation.
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