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Discussion Starter #1
Since I started this I'll go first.


Quote of a lifetime

When you laugh, I laugh
When you cry, I cry
When you smile, I smile
When you jump off a bridge
I'm sure gonna miss ya.........
 

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I'll take a shot from various categories.

What does a woman do when she gets out of the battered women's shelter?
The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
An erection.

Jesus walks into a hotel and throws three nails on the counter. "Can you put me up for the night?"
 

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Discussion Starter #4
You did well my friend, I laughed so hard, I almost peed. Very funny.........:)
 

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MOTM June 2012
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My ex girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I got her drunk, put her in a car and crashed it into a wall.
 

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True story.

My friend Roger has come into a large inheritance, and his lawyer recommended putting up cameras in every room.

This is to provide you protection against women filing lawsuits claiming that they've been raped, the lawyer said.

I said to Roger, what if you do rape one?
 

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Back in the nurse school, I had one classmate whom I didn't like at all. Let's call him Andrew. He was simple, alpha, very close-minded and full of energy. Conservative christian from Russia, who believes in "tough love". He was studying to become EMT. Jock-type of guy, who acts and speaks before he thinks. He had a habit of doing push-ups in the middle of school alleys and kissing his biceps in front of the mirror. And he was always with a self-content smile.

So, once at the end of our class, our teacher asked a question about our students in our class.

Teacher: "If one of your classmates would be in news in the near-future, what would be the topic of the news? Let's take Andrew, for example."

Me: "Malpractice resulted in death of six patients."
 

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Discussion Starter #11
back in the nurse school, i had one classmate whom i didn't like at all. Let's call him andrew. He was simple, alpha, very close-minded and full of energy. Conservative christian from russia, who believes in "tough love". He was studying to become emt. Jock-type of guy, who acts and speaks before he thinks. He had a habit of doing push-ups in the middle of school alleys and kissing his biceps in front of the mirror. And he was always with a self-content smile.

So, once at the end of our class, our teacher asked a question about our students in our class.

Teacher: "if one of your classmates would be in news in the near-future, what would be the topic of the news? Let's take andrew, for example."

me: "malpractice resulted in death of six patients."
lmfao!!!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #12
True story.

My friend Roger has come into a large inheritance, and his lawyer recommended putting up cameras in every room.

This is to provide you protection against women filing lawsuits claiming that they've been raped, the lawyer said.

I said to Roger, what if you do rape one?
Very clever:)
 

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Discussion Starter #13
You'll never shit the same again........going in dry? Ouch.....but I like.............
 

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If only Africa had more mosquito nets. Then we could save millions of mosquitoes from needlessly dying of AIDs.
 

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"When you wish on a shooting star, all your dreams will come true...

...unless it's actually a meteor coming to destroy the earth. Then you're pretty much dead no matter what you wished for."
 
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"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you lay the blame."-Unknown
 
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