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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
From a clever comeback, to ....Well, anywhere a Rational Type (NT) will draw the line in exacting revenge. Or justice, as I like to call it.
Post your means of retaliation. Anything from the best insults you've ever heard, ever used, wish to use to the most effective pranks you've heard of, executed, or wished to.

Disclaimer: This is for fun and humor purposes only. I'd originally been posting this in the NT temperament forum, but then realized I'd rather trust the discretion of an INTP [just to see how this thread works out]. (Some of those less perceiving, or highly emotional types can be downright scary.)

For visual purposes, I give you LADY JUSTICE...

 

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  • "Head like a f**kin orange."
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  • "Little round-headed buffoon."

- Ricky Gervais on Karl Pilkington​
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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go out of state, send package to enemy. Things to send to enemy:

- sealed tight package of manure in a decorated box that says 'SURPRISE' (spring coil mechanism optional)
- bag of coals (works well for christmas)
- le fragrance de skunk
- pumpkin in a box, carved with a face, knife sticking through it, with a note that says 'YOU!' (works well for halloween)
- bagful of maggots
- laced candy with muscle relaxants
- solar powered plushie with webcam
- a donkey
 

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King of Seduction
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I can't consciously do acts of revenge anymore. But I find that I tend to do messed up things to people who have hurt me some-what unintentionally. It'll be a spur of the moment thing where I decide, fuck it they are an asshole anyway. But from recent experience I have essentially regretted it. Part of my code of ethics is to try and treat people like I'd like to be treated. I've also become more excepting of people so it's hard for me to just turn that off once you see a good characteristic in a person. I am considered a friend from what I can tell by many people who frankly get on my nerves but I tolerate them because I see their vulnerable side.

I was a pretty violent kid, so I am all ghandi like now.
 

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For visual purposes, I give you LADY JUSTICE...

That dress... doesn't... fit... her. In the... boob area. She's, what, twelve and flat-chested? And badly Photoshopped? No. Just no.

Heh. The other day, some idiot dudes were picking on another idiot dude in my Drawing class, making fun of his drawing, and I turned around and said to them, "Don't you guys have lives and better things to do than say stuff like that?"

And they acted like I'd just snarled at them or something, as though that was the best wit they'd heard all day. Facepalm.
 
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I can't consciously do acts of revenge anymore. It'll be a spur of the moment thing where I decide, fuck it they are an asshole anyway. But from recent experience I have essentially regretted it. Part of my code of ethics is to try and treat people like I'd like to be treated. I am considered a friend from what I can tell by many people who frankly get on my nerves but I tolerate them because I see their vulnerable side. I was a pretty violent kid, so I am all ghandi like now.
Ha when I was younger I was really horrible. I would say hurtful things, horrible horrible things.
--I called people fat.
--I used to tell scary stories in second grade to my class mates; the characters included the number of the kids listening, but I would always leave out one, it was an over weight ginger girl (seeing a trend). I made fun of the way she talked too. I always tormented this poor girl.
--In second grade I got reprimanded because I was telling kids that they don't want to get married, if they asked me why, I told them to ask mommy and daddy were babies come from.
--I also pushed 1st graders in the dirt. Because they looked at me funny... I have... no idea...
--When I was in 4th grade I would tackle kids and shove their faces in the grass if they annoyed me... at church.
-----I realize that the suicide rate is so high for children right now, I'm very much against bullying. "Carma" or whatever it may be... probably just life, got to me because I now feel like the outcast that has a sense of knowing of what it's like to want to just... throw myself off the edge.

I would go ghandi like you, but I think it would seem fake for me, because it would be basically to make myself feel better. I admit the things I do are for myself, it isn't because I care about poor billy or because "Jesus told me to.", or any of that bull. I do nice things for others because I want to, for me, to shape my character. People that go all "ghandi" are genuine and I respect that. There needs to be more people like you and less of people like me. My hope is that my revenge days are behind me.
 

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I remember this one time in the Sixth grade we were doing a project in art class and it was time to clean up our little work spaces. Well this snobby bitch behind me decided she was too lazy to pick anything up and told me to clean up her desk. Just the way that she said it too made it sound like it was some kind of great honor for a dork like me to pick up after her. So I snapped my head around and said "Do I look like your damn servant to you?! You have legs, get it yourself!". The look on her face was priceless. I don't think she expected a quiet, reserved outcast like me to act in such a way. It was very fulfilling.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
The Ultimate Revenge [grinch smile]

No, but seriously. I've found my own sense of justice growing up. My victim would never know I'd retaliated... But i did. As I've matured, i've definitely seen a difference in my sense of justice... An increased tolerance [as was mentioned in an earlier post]. People don't necessarily realize the hurt that their actions/words might incite.

But there are those people who couldn't be bothered to think of anything beyond their needs and wants - no matter who might be squished beneath their toes as they look out for number one. Therefore, once beyond initial rage and given some time to calm down, there are times in which the injustice bothers me to so great a degree that I had to act.

These are the occasions for spam bombs or numbers given to telemarketers.

Most of the time, though, I merely get indignant when I'm reminded of them. Going on a rant in the company of close friends about common courtesy, common sense and common decency.

My imagination is another story tho. The things I come up with! Once I've played it out in my head (example: swishing Mr. Asshole's toothbrush in the toilet), a far away look comes across my face with a slight half smile, and then we're good - let's carry on with life again.
 

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When I was ten years old my best friend at the time had an older brother that enjoyed bullying us along with a friend of his. They were both thirteen. They caught us walking home from school one winter afternoon and proceeded to whitewash my friend (for those unfamiliar with this particular winter torture you grab the victim by the back of the head and grind his face in a snowbank until it turns purple). I ran towards home, just down the street, my friend's brother hot on my heels.

i reached my back porch with a decent lead. "Safe!" I was thinking...until I tried the door and discovered it was locked. He had caught up now and was standing at the foot of the steps grinning. I was boxed in on all sides, cornered on a 4' x4' porch with him blocking the only way out. His grin got even bigger as he slowly started packing a snowball. He was truly enjoying my predicament.

There was a snow shovel leaned against the railing. I picked it up and held it up crosswise, like an axe. He started up the steps with this amused look of contempt on his face, as if to say "Yeah, right." That look changed the insant before I split his head open with the edge of the shovel. I wiped it right off his face, thirteen stitches to close it I heard later. There were no more incidents of bullying after that.

35 years later and I still get an immense sense of satisfaction telling the story. It's not as funny as the time I Saran wrapped the toilets in the barracks before everyone came in drunk from the club but its definitely more satisfying.
 

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King of Seduction
ENTJ
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Ha when I was younger I was really horrible. I would say hurtful things, horrible horrible things.
--I called people fat.
--I used to tell scary stories in second grade to my class mates; the characters included the number of the kids listening, but I would always leave out one, it was an over weight ginger girl (seeing a trend). I made fun of the way she talked too. I always tormented this poor girl.
--In second grade I got reprimanded because I was telling kids that they don't want to get married, if they asked me why, I told them to ask mommy and daddy were babies come from.
--I also pushed 1st graders in the dirt. Because they looked at me funny... I have... no idea...
--When I was in 4th grade I would tackle kids and shove their faces in the grass if they annoyed me... at church.
-----I realize that the suicide rate is so high for children right now, I'm very much against bullying. "Carma" or whatever it may be... probably just life, got to me because I now feel like the outcast that has a sense of knowing of what it's like to want to just... throw myself off the edge.

I would go ghandi like you, but I think it would seem fake for me, because it would be basically to make myself feel better. I admit the things I do are for myself, it isn't because I care about poor billy or because "Jesus told me to.", or any of that bull. I do nice things for others because I want to, for me, to shape my character. People that go all "ghandi" are genuine and I respect that. There needs to be more people like you and less of people like me. My hope is that my revenge days are behind me.
Everything we do is selfish. Whether we donate money to children or we open a door for an old lady it's so we feel good about ourselves. There is nothing wrong with that, I think you should give into the fact that you're doing it to make yourself feel better as the person you are doing a deed for still appreciates it despite your motivations not being all about them. And why is it bad to do things to make yourself happy?

Ask yourself if you really care when someone does a nice thing for you, even if you can understand that they are doing it to make themselves happy? Kids tend to mock the environment they grew up in so you can't be too hard on yourself after all you were a kid. Now that you've gotten older you have the choice to act like you choose to. Being upset about the things you've done to others in the past shouldn't be the reason you decide to continue to not act in ways that make you feel better about yourself.

Being worried about others thinking you're being fake tells me that the Fe is a little too high. You shouldn't care if someone thinks you're fake because you are doing things to make yourself happy. You're always going to find someone who doesn't like you for whatever reason. If you are fake to one and cool to others, who gives a shit?
 

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Feather & Shaving cream. Tickle their face, which has shaving cream on it. When they touch the shaving cream, shoot them in the knees. Then cut off their eyelids so that they die of sleep deprivation. Tie them to a chair. Or you can try welding them to the chair. I haven't tried that though, so it might not be feasible.
 

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Being upset about the things you've done to others in the past shouldn't be the reason you decide to continue to not act in ways that make you feel better about yourself.

Being worried about others thinking you're being fake tells me that the Fe is a little too high. You shouldn't care if someone thinks you're fake because you are doing things to make yourself happy. You're always going to find someone who doesn't like you for whatever reason. If you are fake to one and cool to others, who gives a shit?
Hm, well I find that to be an interesting perspective. I find that very enlightening. :unsure:

I don't want to be fake, because I don't like that character in others. I wouldn't appreciate myself for being fake. I don't care if others think i'm fake, too honest, or even cold. I don't want to see that in myself, because I would eventually get disgusted in myself.
TY for sharing though, very interesting.
 

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Maid of Time
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I find shark tanks to be a lot of fun.
Moreso if you're in charge of the Swimming 101: Puppy Preschool class.

EDIT: Oh, sorry, I thought this was the Sadist thread, not the Revenge one. The shark tank would be even more fun if you had a large crane and a lot of rope... or maybe a bungee cord.

When I was ten years old my best friend at the time had an older brother that enjoyed bullying us along with a friend of his. They were both thirteen. They caught us walking home from school one winter afternoon and proceeded to whitewash my friend (for those unfamiliar with this particular winter torture you grab the victim by the back of the head and grind his face in a snowbank until it turns purple). I ran towards home, just down the street, my friend's brother hot on my heels.

i reached my back porch with a decent lead. "Safe!" I was thinking...until I tried the door and discovered it was locked. He had caught up now and was standing at the foot of the steps grinning. I was boxed in on all sides, cornered on a 4' x4' porch with him blocking the only way out. His grin got even bigger as he slowly started packing a snowball. He was truly enjoying my predicament.

There was a snow shovel leaned against the railing. I picked it up and held it up crosswise, like an axe. He started up the steps with this amused look of contempt on his face, as if to say "Yeah, right." That look changed the insant before I split his head open with the edge of the shovel. I wiped it right off his face, thirteen stitches to close it I heard later. There were no more incidents of bullying after that.

35 years later and I still get an immense sense of satisfaction telling the story. It's not as funny as the time I Saran wrapped the toilets in the barracks before everyone came in drunk from the club but its definitely more satisfying.
Damn.

What's funny is that I had a habit of accelerating things too like that. I was never really confined to the "understood rules of the engagement." If I wanted something to stop, I was willing to go outside the box. It's a wonderful deterrent.
 
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