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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The rabid unicorns are coming. You're currently trapped in a cave high above the ground (too high to jump) and the unicorns can't climb up to you, but you're fast running out of water (the cave is made of lithium and it's too hot for water to condense). You have two companions that you don't want to eat, but you don't have any food. There are no plants growing in the cave. Your goal is to reach the water's edge, which is behind the rabid unicorns, so you can get to your boat and escape from the island. The unicorns do not sleep, but they do act like cats- they can be distracted by light, but only for six seconds (it would take you at least twenty seconds of sprinting through level sand to reach the boat, and thirty to load it and leave).

You have access to:
  • A sling shot
  • A candle
  • Four lithium crystals growing from the walls
  • A Bible
  • Six matches
  • The clothes you're wearing
  • A flash grenade
  • No genie

(If this is unclear, I can edit after I get clarifying questions. I'm mostly just interested in seeing how y'all respond)
 

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Take clothes off companions, light companions on fire, using a match, light the candle too.
send them to the unicorns. thats like 12 seconds.
Clothes of companions assuming they wear 2 pieces each (top and bottom). wrap around their shoes(2) light up, and sling away.
first one with the candle, then leave the candle on the ground for possible (+6 distraction) and use matches.
thats 24 seconds.
add that my clothes, thats 12 more.
All matches are gone, I'm 48 + 6 seconds in.
Throw the flash grenade, 54 seconds.
I needed 20+30 to escape.

Why didnt I light the bible on fire?
I need something funny to read, the boat journey seems like a long trip.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
How much do I like my companions? I certainly don't want to eat them, but throwing them off the cliff...
Picture the people who would probably be on vacation with you- think best friends, etc. If you don't have friends, I guess that means go for it :kitteh:

Take clothes off companions, light companions on fire, using a match, light the candle too.
send them to the unicorns. thats like 12 seconds.
Clothes of companions assuming they wear 2 pieces each (top and bottom). wrap around their shoes(2) light up, and sling away.
first one with the candle, then leave the candle on the ground for possible (+6 distraction) and use matches.
thats 24 seconds.
add that my clothes, thats 12 more.
All matches are gone, I'm 48 + 6 seconds in.
Throw the flash grenade, 54 seconds.
I needed 20+30 to escape.

Why didnt I light the bible on fire?
I need something funny to read, the boat journey seems like a long trip.
^this made my day
 
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^this made my day
I beat the game but to be honest, I think I'll be very dead in the end.

seriously.. who is going to save a buck naked guy on a boat, alone, reading a bible and laughing hysterically...
 

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... first I will change my name to Barabas. Since unicorns are mythical creatures and myth is religion made obsolete I do whatever it takes to establish the cult of Judeo-Christianity. The lithium crystals can be fabricated into an arc of the covenant and I could make my decent from the heavens with the help of a flash grenade. If you gonna start a start a cult, you gotta have the right preacher swag. Bible and grand enterence it is. Since myths are said to be timeless and the events happen in mythical space time can collapse of itself the three of us are crucified. Since my name is Barabas I get to take the clothes I'm wearing and whatever goodies and walk peacefully to the boat. Now, I might raze the island and bring some apocalyptic doom, just for the laughs.
 

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The rabid unicorns are coming. You're currently trapped in a cave high above the ground (too high to jump) and the unicorns can't climb up to you, but you're fast running out of water (the cave is made of lithium and it's too hot for water to condense). You have two companions that you don't want to eat, but you don't have any food. There are no plants growing in the cave. Your goal is to reach the water's edge, which is behind the rabid unicorns, so you can get to your boat and escape from the island. The unicorns do not sleep, but they do act like cats- they can be distracted by light, but only for six seconds (it would take you at least twenty seconds of sprinting through level sand to reach the boat, and thirty to load it and leave).

You have access to:
  • A sling shot
  • A candle
  • Four lithium crystals growing from the walls
  • A Bible
  • Six matches
  • The clothes you're wearing
  • A flash grenade
  • No genie

(If this is unclear, I can edit after I get clarifying questions. I'm mostly just interested in seeing how y'all respond)
How the fuck did I get up here in the first place?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
How the fuck did I get up here in the first place?
You were drugged and dropped out of a helicopter, which has now blown up.

You're James Bond, basically

... first I will change my name to Barabas. Since unicorns are mythical creatures and myth is religion made obsolete I do whatever it takes to establish the cult of Judeo-Christianity. The lithium crystals can be fabricated into an arc of the covenant and I could make my decent from the heavens with the help of a flash grenade. If you gonna start a start a cult, you gotta have the right preacher swag. Bible and grand enterence it is. Since myths are said to be timeless and the events happen in mythical space time can collapse of itself the three of us are crucified. Since my name is Barabas I get to take the clothes I'm wearing and whatever goodies and walk peacefully to the boat. Now, I might raze the island and bring some apocalyptic doom, just for the laughs.
This is why everyone fears ENTPs- you destroy everything, but efficiently and with a smile :kitteh:
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Who are my companions? What are the repercussions of them dying?
Your best friends or family. If you don't care about people of that description IRL, imagine someone you love more than life itself
 

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A sling shot
A candle
Four lithium crystals growing from the walls
A Bible
Six matches
The clothes you're wearing
A flash grenade
No genie


Obviously I am in dire need of lithium if I'm seeing rabid unicorns, so I'm going to start off by using pages from the bible and one of the matches to make a small fire, and, I'm going to smoke a little bit of the lithium to try and calm the hallucinations of the unicorns. I would have tried to make a lithium salt, but I don't have any water. Now that the unicorns seem less daunting because my neurons are moving slower than the 400lb lady in the motorized cart at Wal Mart, time to develop a plan...

I strip my clothes off and demand my 2 super hot female companions to do the same. I'm probably not going to need ALL of the clothes, but it's better to be safe than sorry. I tie the end of the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt together, and help my lady friends do the same with their bras so that we can use them as ropes once we have tamed the beast, because that's how I roll, I tame beasts. Time to ride some unicorns, bareback.
Tying my pants to the grand total of all 7 inches of their shorts, combined, I create a rope to climb down from the cave. Now the escape is ready. I light the candle so that when I get to the bottom of the rope I can light it on fire, because I will need a rope of fire for this adventure.

With my supermodel companions hanging off the sides of my body I begin my ascent on the rope, and, as I'm about halfway down I hurl the flash grenade at the rabid unicorns. This blinds them while I jump down the remaining distance and light the rope on fire. Wildly swinging the rope of fire at the unicorns they are distracted and the hotties mount them bareback and use their bras as leads. One of them swings by pick me up. The rope fire is beginning to dwindle so, holding the candle, I tear pages out of the bible and turn them into incendiary balls. As I launch them from the slingshot towards the boat the unicorns oblige and chase the fiery balls.

Nearing the boat the fiery rope is only ashes now, and I am all but out of additional items to create light with, save for these lithium crystals, but I used to sleep ins cience class a lot so i don't know precisely how they can help me. As a last resort I wrap the lithium crystals in pages of the bible and light them on fire and throw them a few feet in front of us. I'm going to assume something cool happens with shiny lights and colored smoke, and for the sake of this story that's exactly what happens as me and the models dash for the boat. Just to make certain we have additional time, I command the models to drop their bras and set them on fire.

Now unfortunately I am in a boat with NO reading material and only these 2 naked models, a slingshot, and 4 matches, and 1/3 of a candle that blew out in the dash to the boat.

And yeah, I know you said the cave was too high to jump from, but you said we were James Bond and didn't specify HOW HIGH, so I assumed the additional 6 feet of rope from the clothing was enough to bridge the gap between doable and breaking a femur.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED ENTP STYLE
 
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