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Discussion Starter #1
I've been thinking a lot about ISTPs and early development of the personality. More specifically things that I remember being taught or raised like that formed me being an ISTP in my adult life.

Examples:
-My father is an engineer and installed the thought of wanting and needing to know how things worked or how they were made. (Also the history of them)
-Being encouraged to question authority figures if something seemed off (teachers, other parents, etc)
-Embracing alone time and using it to do things you enjoyed (being outside alone, drawing, reading)
-Always working on and riding motorcycles
-Using sports and physical activity as an outlet for aggression
-Being told to immediatly leave the room if I was going to cry
-Not passing judgment on religion and other stereo types
-Traveling frequently, but never to resort or large cities only smaller towns with interesting exhibits or historical value
-Learning first hand how to shoot a gun and build shelter with only things you can fit in a backpack
-Navigating without a compass and intentionally getting lost


And the list goes on. Do other ISTPs recall things in their youth that would reflect them being an ISTP now? Nature vs. nurture related incidence?
 

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For me, I think my ISTPness was clear on the nature side. I come from a family of an INTJ dad, an ESFJ mom and an ENFJ younger sister. We are all totally different from each other. When I was a baby, my parents took me on road trips to Pittsburgh, Chicago, Niagara Falls, Rochester and West Point in upstate NY and New York City. I loved travelling and never complained or cried about it. I was very active and loved running around and playing outside.

I especially resonate with your point about navigating without a compass. When I was 8, I was supposed to take the bus home from school instead of the daycare lady's house, but I forgot and took the bus to the daycare, which was a mile away from my home. She was out of town that day, so that's why I was supposed to go home. But when I knocked on the door, no one answered, so after a few minutes, I just started walking, and remembered from visual clues about the surroundings what path to take home. And I got there after half an hour walking.

During my trips to Australia and Tahiti last year, I did very similar things. Especially my trip in October to Perth and Tahiti. I am currently in the midst of a career change to the ocean/maritime sector and I find ocean navigation to be fascinating and intriguing.
 

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Growing up there was a lack of coherent communication of feelings, and I observed emotions being contained or released in bursts. Apart from that, I'd say that my upbringing strengthens an introverted nature, and less of ISTP traits.

Things that I determined separate from parental influence:
-- Love of the outdoors and being active. My parents aren't big on travel. With more "fast-paced" outdoor activities, my parents were more likely to dissuade me from trying, since I was their little girl who they just wanted to keep safe.
-- Dealing with peers. I don't remember ever turning to an adult (parent or otherwise) for help resolving conflict, or behavior that was irritating; it just doesn't cross my mind. I often just ignored my peers, but if I had a problem? Go directly to the source.
-- Creating things
-- Suspending judgment of others. I just didn't understand people, so if people were judgmental, it didn't make sense to me. A kid says something racist to me? It doesn't compute, because it seems senseless to point out that I have a different skin color than they do...isn't it obvious we look different? Even if I can acknowledge they believed XYZ, I can't say that I agree/disagree, nor could I know how I felt about their judgment.
 

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I lean more towards nature than nurture. With a highly idealistic INFP mother and an overly cautious INTJ father, I pretty much turned out the way I am despite my upbringing rather than because of it. I do attribute my love for books and learning to them, though; I suspect I'd likely be a lot less intellectual than I already am with another father.
 

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I was an explorer as a child (count me in with the easy navigation crowd). I loved to take things apart to see how they worked. I've always been very curious. I didn't do sports* but I loved to swim in the river and climb trees. I wasn't tomboyish, I actually loved girly dresses.

*My mom strongly encouraged intellectual pursuits and disfavoured anything that could divert my attention. I remember when I was about 7 I signed up for fencing classes and she went ahead and cancelled my signup. Also, I really disliked organized sports and being coached (still hate it, f*ck zumba!). I discovered the joys of Se once I was free to be myself, in adulthood. I love sports now, as long as it's something that I feel like doing at that moment and I can do it at my own pace.

I believe my mom's influence got me to being overly Ti-oriented while growing up but eventually my true nature emerged.
 

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I was raised by an ESTP parent, who was basically the son her father never had. If she's analytical or pondering things, she does so privately. On the outside, she's stoic, get to the point, action oriented, positive (but realistic), vigilant, independent. She wanted to expose me to almost everything, in the world of people, the natural world, and sports, but at the same time was wary, cautioning, encouraging me to be alert and aware (question everything). She never wanted a "stupid girl" for a daughter. She loved going for walks and road trips, and having me there seemed to inspire her. She taught me to read maps, showed me the world, and if I had a practical problem, she'd give me very good advice and let me see it through, if I chose. I was given A LOT of freedom to solve my own problems, in fact she really didn't want to influence me too much at times. ("It's your life, you have to look in the mirror at yourself... Not my problem.")

The biggest thing I take away from my childhood was a sense of play. "Go outside and play." She wanted me to be physical, scrappy, independent, tough, resourceful. In some ways I was, but my analytical tendencies seemed pussified to her, sometimes. Thinking deeply = being too damn sensitive, but I liked thinking, and there was no changing it. Love of physical activity, it was great for me, and for sure she helped me discover that, and I'm still athletic and adventure seeking as an adult too. I think an Se dominant personality is great for a Ti dominant one, but I can't decide if it goes the other way; so luckily she was the parent.
 

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I was raised by parents, but developmentally inspired by AMT, MPC, Revell, Monogram, Matchbox / Hot Wheels, Motor Trend, Popular Mechanics, Hot Rod, and the glorious world of BMX bikes (among other 'things').

I thank my parents for supplying the financial means and encouragement to indulge these things, and for allowing me to forge my own path. I also thank (most of) my teachers for their patience in dealing with my continual challenges of their state-provided curriculum.

But my particular leanings were not 'influenced' directly by anyone in my immediate family, schools, etc. When I was a child, I did not have opportunities to interact with the people I was most interested in. I suppose that's because none of those people were in positions deemed as 'wholesome' enough for a young boy to interact with. I remember a guy in his 20's who lived across the street and was always working on cars. Even though the guy tolerated my presence and was even nice to me, I was rarely allowed to visit. I don't know if my mom assumed I was 'bothering him', or didn't trust him for some reason unknown to me, but it was a bummer watching out the window when I'd rather be over there asking questions and getting up to my elbows into whatever was going on.
 

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Yeah, I can kind of recall. I believe my ISTPness is a result of both nature and nurture. My dad was an INTP and some of my earliest memories was when he would come talk to me before I went to sleep and he would just patiently listen to and answer all my billion questions about life, religion, people, etc. It was like a strange Ti training. Hah.

I can't remember Se growing up, just Ti and a lack of Fe (the latter is painful to remember.. ugh.). I think I picked up Se in my teens as my parents were going through a brutal separation. My Ne and Ni siblings were stuck in anguish and kind of lost, and I think that was just when I decided (or at least that's how it felt.. maybe I had no choice) that I wasn't going to get caught up in that. I decided to focus on the areas of my life I could control, and just went off on my own and made things happen.
 

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i think my dad is ISTJ, but he never cared about nothing. My ESFJ mother has always given lots of Fe and thought Fe would solve everything. She kind of knew that she lacked a compass and let me grow by myself. The problem has always been her partners and how she does what they say without thinking, well she's ESFJ and very childlike...

I think it's nature and I thank god I got to be ISTP, because I don't think I would have made it otherwise. My smaller sister I think is ESFP and she was the golden child and has turned out to be a real narcissist. My bonus bigger sister have borderline. I don't have contact with either.

Everything I know I've learned myself. Everything I got I've fixed myself. If I couldn't fix things by myself I think I would have been fucked.
 

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Was raised by ESFJ mother and perhaps an INFJ father. Both overly protective and refused to let me engage in any activities. I believe this triggered my naturally rebellious attitude and pushed me into engaging in more activities without their consent. I went on all kinds of adventures and did all kinds of sports without them knowing. I got in trouble quite often. They wanted me to pursue intellectual activities. While I did play around a lot, I was actually doing plenty of intellectual things. I did more theory crafting, chess playing, debates, etc as a child. I still believe I was an INTP in my younger years and had my cognitive preference switched around as I grew up.

For the first 7 or so years, I engaged in no Se activites, only Ti and Ne related activities.
For the next couple years, I think I hit my head on something and threw all my interests into the gutter and engaged in all kinds of adventures. It was a very sudden change

However, if I had to say who raised me, I would have to say myself. My parents worked a 8am to 10pm job so I was alone most of the time. perhaps this contributes to why I value independence
 

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Don't know my parents' types, so there really is no real frame of reference for me. My dad was always tinkering with cars and I developed a love of cars early on. I do draw from that experience of maintaining my own vehicles, but I think it was as much a natural occurrence as nuture. I've always been an explorer, always loved animals, preferred outdoor activities to inside, and loved to learn. I always had my nose stuck in an encyclopedia trying to glean something new.

My family also moved around quite a bit from the time I started 2nd grade until we settled 2/3s of the way through my 6th grade year. I'd say I changed schools a dozen times throughout that time frame, so I never really developed any long childhood relationships. Forevermore the new kid, learning how to handle confrontation, trying to develop friendships but wind up starting over 6 months or a year later.

I was a lot more outgoing when I was younger, but between Jr high and high school, I became more reserved. Never went to prom, engaged in extra curricular activities, nothing. Didn't fit in with anybody, always on the fringes.

I guess that's where I get my "don't give a fuck, not gonna kiss your ass to fit in with you" attitude.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Yeah, I can kind of recall. I believe my ISTPness is a result of both nature and nurture. My dad was an INTP and some of my earliest memories was when he would come talk to me before I went to sleep and he would just patiently listen to and answer all my billion questions about life, religion, people, etc. It was like a strange Ti training. Hah.

I can't remember Se growing up, just Ti and a lack of Fe (the latter is painful to remember.. ugh.). I think I picked up Se in my teens as my parents were going through a brutal separation. My Ne and Ni siblings were stuck in anguish and kind of lost, and I think that was just when I decided (or at least that's how it felt.. maybe I had no choice) that I wasn't going to get caught up in that. I decided to focus on the areas of my life I could control, and just went off on my own and made things happen.
I can relate to similar things when I was younger. I was always questioning things and wanting to know about them. The only thing I remember about Se growing up was always being outdoors doing different things. And Fe was really hard growing up, it was approached with discipline and it wasn't allowed.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
However, if I had to say who raised me, I would have to say myself. My parents worked a 8am to 10pm job so I was alone most of the time. perhaps this contributes to why I value independence
I'd have to agree. I was alone a lot when I was younger. I spent most of my time in adventure land in the back yard with my families saint bernard. Things like cooking, cleaning, and taking care of myself where all self taught. I think it's the same for me as to why I value alone time and independence so much.
 

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Everything was fun back then. My siblings and I had near-total freedom to do anything we wanted with whatever tools and materials we could find. Parental supervision was never a problem. We had an entire forest to ourselves, a farm full of animals, and some old abandoned buildings to demolish and scavenge from. I remember we did everything the dangerous empirical way, even where power tools and chainsaws were concerned.

As children we didn't really know what danger was--we just thought it was synonymous with fun. Some of the games we invented were downright reckless. It was a childhood paradise for Se, which is probably why I kept living here all my life. My five siblings enjoyed it too, but they weren't marked by it like I was. They moved on to other things more suited to their respective types.
 

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I can relate to similar things when I was younger. I was always questioning things and wanting to know about them. The only thing I remember about Se growing up was always being outdoors doing different things. And Fe was really hard growing up, it was approached with discipline and it wasn't allowed.
Funny thing about this, I had absolutely no grasp on the concept of "liking" people. I kept all my friends at the same distance, kind of far since I moved around a lot until I reached high school. At the time, I had no idea, but in hindsight, it's so obvious. A lot of the girls in my younger years had crushes on me. I know this now because most of them would try to spend an extraordinary amount of time with me and got pretty touchy-feely with me. There was even this one girl who I would very often... uhm... "make-out" with. I was a kid and the last thing on my mind were girls, but I was pretty willing to do anything and float by life doing my own thing. Where that girl learned anything related to kissing is beyond me. I thought nothing of it but another activity.

I guess you could say that girl and I had some form of relationship beyond just being friends, but I thought nothing more of her than a friend and when I moved away from her, I just kind of left without saying anything and never looked back. Can't blame me for not being even slightly interested in anything romantic as a kid, I hardly knew what it meant!

I'm still romantically stunted :dry:
 

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Funny thing about this, I had absolutely no grasp on the concept of "liking" people. I kept all my friends at the same distance, kind of far since I moved around a lot until I reached high school. At the time, I had no idea, but in hindsight, it's so obvious. A lot of the girls in my younger years had crushes on me. I know this now because most of them would try to spend an extraordinary amount of time with me and got pretty touchy-feely with me. There was even this one girl who I would very often... uhm... "make-out" with. I was a kid and the last thing on my mind were girls, but I was pretty willing to do anything and float by life doing my own thing. Where that girl learned anything related to kissing is beyond me. I thought nothing of it but another activity.

I guess you could say that girl and I had some form of relationship beyond just being friends, but I thought nothing more of her than a friend and when I moved away from her, I just kind of left without saying anything and never looked back. Can't blame me for not being even slightly interested in anything romantic as a kid, I hardly knew what it meant!

I'm still romantically stunted :dry:
Ha, that's actually really funny that you shared that. I still feel like that with friends now in my adult life. I have maybe one or two that I trust a little bit more then the others. But at this point I could stop talking to them all together and not be phased (at least not a lot) by it.

Romance is a foreign concept. It's like trying to learn a language that you have no interest in.
 

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Se was not encouraged much. Between my INFP mother and ENTP father, I don't think they knew what to do with it. I grew up where we had snow 7 months of the year too, so there was a big chunk of every year when we were pretty limited in what kind of Se activities we could do.

I grew up alongside my ENFJ brother, and the two of us always understood each other better than our parents understood us. (It makes a lot of sense now, looking at the functions) Ti was encouraged a lot; we were always learning something new and figuring out how it fit in with everything else. We spent a lot of time arguing about ideas. I think, if it's possible, my tert Ni was encouraged way, way more than Se, and I used it as much or more than Se until I was in college. I only used Se as necessary to feed the Ni. In college though, I met a lot more SP's and realized where my true strengths were.
 

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I went off on a major tangent by not directly addressing the topic, but I guess it's worth posting, especially since I'm fairly sure of my parent's types. Everyone likes to talk about themselves but I'm not sure any of you will care! :laughing:

I am an ISTP with an ISTP father, an ISFJ mother (maybe INFJ, not 100% sure, but Si seems to make a lot more sense) and an ESFJ sister. My family has always been extremely casual and laissez-faire with rules. We never had solidified beliefs... for example, apparently we were "Christian" - we celebrated Christmas, Easter, etc. and went to church a total of one time. I told my mom I was an atheist one day and she basically said "okay yeah, that makes sense". I feel like a lot of SP's had something to rebel against and I didn't lol. The rules my parents imposed were always explained and made sense so I never felt the need to argue or anything.

For me at least, SFJ's are exhausting to be around for extended periods of time. I spent my early days confused and bewildered by the social conventions and discussions my mother would share with my sister and I. MBTI really unveiled a lot of that flat out confusion I held on to for awhile.

Having an ISTP for a father wasn't very cool until I became a teenager and got interested in the things he'd done. He likes cars, powerlifting, and metal, and I've followed suit so we share a lot more now. Before that he wasn't very involved in our lives, but was the primary provider and we had fun together. He's a bit more in the moment than I am, growing up with SFJ's kinda stuck me in a rut for awhile, but that's probably due to age. I'm more inclined to speculate and plan a little first.

Speaking of planning, both my parents are terrible with it. My dad did most of the dirty work and ended up making a nice salary despite not going to college, but isn't good at planning for the future. My mom is and would always know what to do but never followed through lol.

I ended up being quite a bit of a loner. I never fit in with anyone specific and still don't really care. I like my individuality and really don't care to be "part" of something, even in college.
 

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Grew up with a ENFJ mom and (suspected) ESTJ father. Ti was never encouraged and I often got punished for using it -- imagine an unhealthy Fe-dominant parent going ballistic over a Ti-dominant kid using logic to make decisions instead of basing decisions off of the feelings and wants of people around you. Hard to understand until you're knee-deep in the middle of the situation.

Fe was the only acceptable and "correct" method of communicating and interacting according to my mom's standards. Any use of Ti in defending my actions or decisions was severely reprimanded. In the end, I had to switch into an awkward, unnatural use of my Ni-Fe and had to mostly ignore my Ti-Se in order to survive in her unhealthy and delusional world of living.

Side effects included having my self-confidence (a by-product of dominant Ti), self-reliance, and ability to think for myself (logically), severely stunted. Now that I'm older her influence over me has become severely limited as a result of me cutting her out of most of my life little by little. I've also been working on developing my Ti more strongly and breaking down the Fe-filter that developed during my childhood to keep my analytic thinking-process masked. Fear of the punishment I'd get from my mom often determined how I interacted with people or dealt with situations.

I'd have to say my childhood shaped me into having a disproportionate and backwards amount of Fe and Ti.

Se activities were not really encouraged and I always got the impression that my Se-related aspirations were looked down upon by both parents. My natural talent for sports and athletics was never nurtured or allowed to develop past where I could take it on my own.

My dad never seemed to play an active role in the parenting process. I suspect this is due to my mom's overly controlling nature.

I'd have to say that having an ENTJ brother to look up to and learn from as well as my own resilience played a bigger part than either of my parents did in shaping the positive aspects of my ISTPness that I have now.
 
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