Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 98 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
374 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Thought this would be a good thread for the main ennea forum. I feel like a general one for everyone would be pretty cool, also more accessible to the forum at large, both for viewing and discussing. A lot of the time, I have thoughts but don't feel they warrant a thread. Thus they get lost in my brain or remain forever in off-forum interactions, as they don't really fit elsewhere.

Discuss the nine types, instincts, sub-theories like subtypes and tritype, authors, tests, mistypes, misconceptions... whatever is floating around your mind that is related to enneagram :D (random things that annoy you in other types or yourself, things you like. Idk, everything yo).

_____

When I started writing again, I realized recently that I've always idealized type 7s, especially sx 7s. All my characters that are based off me are either genuinely 7 or pseudo-7 (generally counterphobic 6w7).

Then I looked at my life as a whole and I think I understand why. I'm a highly phobic 6 and I've always wanted to transcend this fear, inhibition, hesitance that constantly plagued me (even when I wasn't fully aware that they were those things). Cp 6s, who are generally nonetheless controlled by authority even when they're rebelling because of the fixation on it, were still a step up from where I was as a kid.

Don't mean to glorify 7s, but to me, 7s were even better, as authority / rules generally seem unable to contain the natural confidence and exuberance they have. It's far less of a neurotic thing, at least. In addition, I deeply admired their passion and forwardness with attaining their desires. A lot of them just seem able to own themselves in a way I haven't fully been able to yet. Like, here I am and I'm all awkward and constantly trying to modify what I say because of my deep inner uncertainty. It's literally happening as I'm writing this UGHHHHH.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,124 Posts
Finally, someone made this thread! I had this idea months ago but never did anything with it. ('-')

And any random thoughts I had I've forgotten.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lunar Light

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,701 Posts
I thought bubble that I must say quickly. Is that we are overly focusing solely on the individual and not on the culture and constructs that we arise from our various enneagram activities. People often come to the ennegram solely for the fact that they might become more "enlightened", but I believe that this might actually shut oneself off into any form of actual self-actualization. It might be true that we have one type, but I believe that the environment could also be typed around them. Several of the cleverer members have exposited on the idea of police, firefighting groups that focus on the 6ish based mentality of impermeability. Or the "earth-based" (as I call them) movements that are focused on meaning, sensation and pleasure, like tumblr. The pissing contest, argument culture that is based on the chans which reflects the water (Image)/fire (gut) type well enough. This forum's over all (air) head typish focus on knowledge, and how to properly use it, and other such categorizations that might be useful to analyze. Not as as silly side project, but as an important part of what the ennea/dodegram might provide for us as a whole. It comes from the western thought of individualism, without taking into context what sort of influences that you are subjected to. Both consciously and not.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lunar Light

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,794 Posts
Thought this would be a good thread for the main ennea forum. I feel like a general one for everyone would be pretty cool, also more accessible to the forum at large, both for viewing and discussing. A lot of the time, I have thoughts but don't feel they warrant a thread. Thus they get lost in my brain or remain forever in off-forum interactions, as they don't really fit elsewhere.

Discuss the nine types, instincts, sub-theories like subtypes and tritype, authors, tests, mistypes, misconceptions... whatever is floating around your mind that is related to enneagram :D (random things that annoy you in other types or yourself, things you like. Idk, everything yo).

_____

When I started writing again, I realized recently that I've always idealized type 7s, especially sx 7s. All my characters that are based off me are either genuinely 7 or pseudo-7 (generally counterphobic 6w7).

Don't mean to glorify 7s, but to me, 7s were even better, as authority / rules generally seem unable to contain the natural confidence and exuberance they have. It's far less of a neurotic thing, at least. In addition, I deeply admired their passion and forwardness with attaining their desires. A lot of them just seem able to own themselves in a way I haven't fully been able to yet. Like, here I am and I'm all awkward and constantly trying to modify what I say because of my deep inner uncertainty. It's literally happening as I'm writing this UGHHHHH.
I also idealize type 7. :crying::crying: I wished so badly to be a 7. The seem to be the ''happy'' type, without being affected by anxiety or negative thoughts. The way they pursuit their passions... it's just admirable. But the truth is that I am a 5w6 (with a strong wing 6), and I have a huge connection to type 7. It makes me go healthy, fun-looking, more extroverted in a sense.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lunar Light

·
Banned
Joined
·
374 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Finally, someone made this thread! I had this idea months ago but never did anything with it. ('-')

And any random thoughts I had I've forgotten.
Haha, I got your back yo :cool:. I've always wanted to make something like this so that those thoughts wouldn't be lost. The enneagram forum feels a bit dry at times too, so I thought this would be nice instead of waiting around for an interesting thread to pop up. Something like this would allow for some more flow because it's so loose and open.

I feel so soc for this. Looking out for the forum, aye, and trying to create a more accessible opportunity for discussion :tongue:.

I thought bubble that I must say quickly. Is that we are overly focusing solely on the individual and not on the culture and constructs that we arise from our various enneagram activities. People often come to the ennegram solely for the fact that they might become more "enlightened", but I believe that this might actually shut oneself off into any form of actual self-actualization. It might be true that we have one type, but I believe that the environment could also be typed around them.
[...]
This is a good point. Looking specifically to oneself does naturally allow for some enlightenment, but considering those constructs larger than ourselves help connect the dots of bigger patterns. Understanding the interplay of my enneagram types and my family's was quite helpful, but I feel like I gained a lot from considering the actual culture itself, as well...something I credit to @hal0hal0, who understands the 2 pride of Chinese culture really well :).

I also idealize type 7. :crying::crying: I wished so badly to be a 7. The seem to be the ''happy'' type, without being affected by anxiety or negative thoughts. The way they pursuit their passions... it's just admirable. But the truth is that I am a 5w6 (with a strong wing 6), and I have a huge connection to type 7. It makes me go healthy, fun-looking, more extroverted in a sense.
Ugh, yeah. I get what you're saying with "happy" though I think I'd describe it more as a sort of indomitable spirit, even when things are really difficult and they've been broken down. Something that's influenced by positive outlook, maybe? I see it in one of my characters and I just envy it so much. It can be so beautiful and I feel like I understand it better after reconnecting with the type. At this point, I do see that they aren't invincible, a mistake I made earlier that I'm glad @Vajra helped me unlearn.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
448 Posts
Stupid tritype of mine, it's almost like I can never truly be honest with myself and others because I notice myself copying some of their mannerisms, the way they talk, the words they use, so I can fit in. I really need to pay attention to such moments, and if I don't then often I will end up seeing how I have contradicted myself at so many points, and it just annoys the shit out of me. The same goes for this forum, when I post something, I always find myself somehow copying certain points of view from people, always working from what others say, but when I just have to make something myself out of nothing, seemingly forgetting to apply most of my own knowledge something like starting a thread, or posting in such a venting topic, I just feel empty, I have no clue what to say.

I find honesty to be very important, but it's a bad value to have if you don't even know if you yourself are being honest most of the time, I feel rather self-deceptive, but at the same time I'm not sure how much I'm just unnecessarily worrying, but then again, I might have a point.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
687 Posts
Thought this would be a good thread for the main ennea forum. I feel like a general one for everyone would be pretty cool, also more accessible to the forum at large, both for viewing and discussing. A lot of the time, I have thoughts but don't feel they warrant a thread. Thus they get lost in my brain or remain forever in off-forum interactions, as they don't really fit elsewhere.

Discuss the nine types, instincts, sub-theories like subtypes and tritype, authors, tests, mistypes, misconceptions... whatever is floating around your mind that is related to enneagram :D (random things that annoy you in other types or yourself, things you like. Idk, everything yo).

_____

When I started writing again, I realized recently that I've always idealized type 7s, especially sx 7s. All my characters that are based off me are either genuinely 7 or pseudo-7 (generally counterphobic 6w7).

Then I looked at my life as a whole and I think I understand why. I'm a highly phobic 6 and I've always wanted to transcend this fear, inhibition, hesitance that constantly plagued me (even when I wasn't fully aware that they were those things). Cp 6s, who are generally nonetheless controlled by authority even when they're rebelling because of the fixation on it, were still a step up from where I was as a kid.

Don't mean to glorify 7s, but to me, 7s were even better, as authority / rules generally seem unable to contain the natural confidence and exuberance they have. It's far less of a neurotic thing, at least. In addition, I deeply admired their passion and forwardness with attaining their desires. A lot of them just seem able to own themselves in a way I haven't fully been able to yet. Like, here I am and I'm all awkward and constantly trying to modify what I say because of my deep inner uncertainty. It's literally happening as I'm writing this UGHHHHH.
As a 7w8, I am flattered by the way you seem to view 7s

I will say that we are somewhat shallow, however. Not in the stereotypical way, but in a more.... practical way? It's hard to describe, but my own experience is that our behavior is very predictable. We think of ourselves as deep and complex, and yet our actions and decisions still follow very simple patterns. We may have put a lot of thought and contemplation into a specific choice or discussion, but in the end, we're really just validating what most others already know will happen, inside ourselves.

It's kind of silly, really... And we often don't even know we're doing it. It's like "I'm so persuasive that I'm going to persuade myself to do what I already want to do, and then act smug like it was an actual choice."

Not sure if any of that makes sense to anyone else.. *shrug*
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,124 Posts
Okay, not entirely legit, but there's an ad I keep seeing on Youtube where this woman in a yoga class thinks "They look so non-judgmental....I don't trust that." And the first thing I thought was "I think I found a Six..."

Also, how many other people would like to be any other type than their actual one? I still keep thinking Ninedom is boring, enough that it seems I spend more time on the Four forum these days than the Nine forum...
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
5,877 Posts
General ennegram observations

I can only speak from my own personal experience but I was reflecting on intertype relations and this reminded both of a thread in the 4 forums and Socionics relationships in between types. Those aren't always 100% accurate as every individual is different and you can't expect humans to be perfect stereotypes or feel the same way but I've noticed a pattern.

I think that people whose cores belong to the same triad (in my case the frustration triad) tend to understand and motivate each other much more easily than 'clashing ones'. For examples, snowflake storms aside, I tend to have an immediate understanding with other type 4s and I adore type 7s. One of my friends said that 4s and 7s deal with similar struggles while moving in opposite directions (ie: internal focus and external focus, negativity and positivity, self loathing and self encouraging, punishment and excess) and I think it's quite accurate. 4s are cold with an inner fire they don't know how to suppress while 7s radiate warmth but seek emotional intensity.

I don't have much experience with type 1, other than my father that might not be the right comparison, but the 1s I've met were always quick to be encouraging and give me definite lines of improvement and growth. I think types in the same triad can bring out the best and the worst in a person since they often integrate or disintegrate into each other.

Wings are interesting too.

I can understand a 5's motivations better than a 3's in a way that I can personally connect to, I tend to appreciate 5s a lot although in more of a distant way as both have different approaches with common links. Having a lot of it in my tritype also helps.

Generally one tends to get along the best with people with types similar to their wings (both core and fixes).
People with your disintegration point as core are hard to swallow, I'm still trying to appreciate healthy 2s.

Type 4 and type 6 is an interesting connection, I'm not saying that only out of bias (my boyfriend and a large amount of people I like or I'm kind of close to) but the thing about 6 and 4 is that both feel a deep sense of alienation, both seek truth and realness, both feel extremely self conscious and fighting it (or succumbing in the case of sp-doms, I'm speaking from a sx-dom perspective).

It's interesting how we think about the same issues but our ways to deal with those are completely different. Relation vs Individualism, Rationality vs Emotion, emotional openness but hiding fear vs showing fear but hiding deep private emotions. Different ideas of trust, strength, self image and yet there's that link that draws them to each other and results in a rollercoaster that might end in perfect harmony or war.

Integration types tend to be admired or idolized, perhaps.
It's all very subjective although many's favorite type is either in their triad or same realm (head/heart/gut).
 

·
Lotus Jester
Joined
·
8,877 Posts
I think this thread is a great idea. I like to read the SX thread but don't really feel comfortable posting in it; since I'm an SX second.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lunar Light

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,172 Posts
I think this thread is a great idea. I like to read the SX thread but don't really feel comfortable posting in it; since I'm an SX second.
I sometimes post in it anyway, and now I'm considering sx-last. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Don't think that will stop me, but hey. Still a nice thread to have, though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,172 Posts
Stupid tritype of mine, it's almost like I can never truly be honest with myself and others because I notice myself copying some of their mannerisms, the way they talk, the words they use, so I can fit in. I really need to pay attention to such moments, and if I don't then often I will end up seeing how I have contradicted myself at so many points, and it just annoys the shit out of me.
Oh, I forgot to comment on this before (or I was too lazy to). I notice myself that I can be prone to copying the person I talk to, but in a way I do it... deliberately? At least I'm aware of doing it and can stop myself if I want to. Although that arguably makes it worse. Like, "oh, I like their personality. *tries to steal it*" Or something like that. >_> (Just now I got tempted to compare myself to a magpie, but a quick google search seems to show that they don't actually like to steal things, so not the best comparison.) As for copying others point of view, I don't know about that (though I can be too anxious to argue against things I disagree with), but they can stick to my mind easily. Like I can watch a movie and might think about how a friend would react to it and I can see him criticizing certain aspects and I might even be like "well... yes," and mention those things myself or whatever, thus voicing opinions that weren't originally my own. Or I might just get annoyed with him, but yeah. Although it's not entirely a bad thing, I think, because then it's like I have someone playing devil's advocate in my mind. Even if it can feel a bit lazy to pick up on other people's thinking like that, I like to be open to other opinions if I'm able to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,592 Posts
really, you had the chance to say anything in the world and you chose to lash out and criticize strangers instead? damaged little girl, "nobody here"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,172 Posts
Does anyone else get jealous if, say, they see someone else thank their friend's posts? Not like this happens with every friend I have... but still, it's kind of ridiculous. I remember @mimesis wrote an interesting post on jealousy and the Sp instinct once, and now I'm trying to pick apart how jealousy relates to the instincts in my case. This stuff is surprisingly confusing, I guess because of the added distress making it hard to be really thorough about this stuff. And I usually tend to feel decently self-aware, and now I'm confused by my own feelings. >_>
 

·
🎀
Joined
·
11,795 Posts
I don't get why jealousy is associated with fear of abandonment?When I'm jealous it's not because I have a fear for my relationship with the person but because...I don't know,all I know is that we can live million miles apart and never talk and I can still be jealous if they talk to someone else,so how it is about abandonment if I'm already "abandoned"?Or am I taking it too literally?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,172 Posts
@Living dead
Hmm, well. It likely happens because of some reason. In that case, it wouldn't be a fear of abandonment so much as it's worsening the sense of abandonment perhaps? Although I guess it could be for other reasons.
 

·
🎀
Joined
·
11,795 Posts
Worsening of sense of abandonment,maybe.But all I want is for them to feel the same way ,or at least to not feel anything similar towards anyone else.Basically either love only me or don't love anyone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
642 Posts
As someone who rejected the possibility of type 9 as a gut fix right from the get-go and clung to type 8 for dear life, I'd like to write about what I've learned after coming to accept the type nine influence within me.

First of all, I rejected the type because I thought nines were weak. All the descriptions paint them as passive, fearful of conflict and unable to defend themselves- hence why I was repulsed by the idea of being a 9-fixer. In no way do I back down from conflict or struggle to stand up for myself. I relate to the basic fear of type eight: being harmed or controlled by others.

I am always in control of myself and my own feelings, and thus, no one can exert power over me, so 8 seemed to fit perfectly. But... this is actually not how eights deal with conflict. I can't speak for them, but as a 9 fixer, the way I respond to the anger of others is by completely shutting down and going cold. It is impossible to drag me into conflict because there is no way to make me do anything I don't want to do. I don't avoid conflict. I simply refuse to be consumed by it.

However, I become emotionally unresponsive when attacked because I fear my own anger, not the anger of others. I perceive going into a rage in response to anger as a loss of power- so I never go on the offensive. I never "explode" the way most people do. I am incapable of it.

I ignore my own anger because I fear losing control over myself, and this often gives me the upper hand over others. It's so empowering when you realize that you are the only one who is able to think straight. I could be facing someone hell-bent on destroying me, blinded by their own fury, and feel immensely powerful because I know that I can bend the situation to my will.

Anger breaks down walls and defenses- when people let themselves be consumed by the fire inside, they become vulnerable in their quest to tear the other person down. They forget to protect themselves as they go on the offensive and reveal all of their weaknesses and insecurities in the heat of the moment. They don't mean to, but I've seen it happen over and over again- so many times that it's now impossible for me to lose control because I feel horrified at the thought of revealing myself like that.

The nice thing is that nothing infuriates these people more than the absence of a reaction. Because they're waiting for you to do what they did, to lose control and take down your own defenses so that they can gain power over you. But I don't react. I refuse to take their anger seriously and smile as their hands turn to fists. And then they destroy themselves completely.

Why does this work? Anger is the desire to affect the world around you in some way. But it also works both ways: when you refuse to change or be affected by the world around you, you become invulnerable. This is what 9s do. They don't submit or run from conflict like cowards. They simply accept the state of the world and other people as it is, and they refuse to let their environment have power over them because they feel secure in their being. That is what true peace means. It's not the fearful denial of the world, but the full acceptance of it.

I think the eights are often credited as being the most powerful types in the gut triad, but 9s have real power too. I've felt it over and over again in myself, so I'd advise everyone to never underestimate a nine.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,172 Posts
However, I become emotionally unresponsive when attacked because I fear my own anger, not the anger of others. I perceive going into a rage in response to anger as a loss of power- so I never go on the offensive. I never "explode" the way most people do. I am incapable of it.
Yes, that's pretty much my main reason for disliking anger as well (my own, at least), and I agree with your post/the way you view anger and control in general. Although I'm not that good at actually staying in control/ignoring my anger/remaining unaffected (though I've... gotten better, I guess), which is one reason I'm not 100% sure of being core 9 at least.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
642 Posts
Yes, that's pretty much my main reason for disliking anger as well (my own, at least), and I agree with your post/the way you view anger and control in general. Although I'm not that good at actually staying in control/ignoring my anger/remaining unaffected (though I've... gotten better, I guess), which is one reason I'm not 100% sure of being core 9 at least.
Yes, I can understand that. I'm not a core 9, so I'm not perfect all the time. I can lose my cool on occasion, usually when someone pokes at something that makes me deeply insecure. However, this is only happens when I'm in a more "safe" environment, like at home or with family where I know that my weaknesses won't be taken advantage of.

I don't know what your type is, but I'd imagine that core 9s can't stay unaffected all the time either. I mean... at the end of the day, the anger has to go somewhere. It has to be released in some way because it can't just stay trapped inside of someone forever. I think, with type 9s, it leaks out over time in the form of passive aggression, rather than big explosions like with 8s, and absolutely not during conflict.

I think you can contrast 8 and 9 anger by looking at a nuclear bomb- the anger of the 8 is explosive and quickly destroys everything in its way, while the radiation that comes afterwards can be compared to the way a 9 releases anger, in short bursts over a long period of time. Both are extremely harmful in different ways.

Again, though, I'm not a core 9 :unsure: I don't want to make any assertions about the type that might be incorrect, but this is my working knowledge of the type.
 
1 - 20 of 98 Posts
Top