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This got a little out of hand so I decided to make a separate thread. Make sure to pay careful attention to it.

OKAY PEOPLE... 3... 2... 1... GO !!! FASTER ! FASTER ! *gunshots firing and bullets flying around your ears and feet*


1) Are you chasing deep(er) connections at fast pace?

2) Do you feel guilty when others put in the efforts to go deeper (while it was rather easy for you), only for you to drop it again after a while because you are losing interest or feel that there isn't much more to discover?

3) Do you feel alone from time to time, even in social situations or despite you having been socially active? If so, why?

4) Can you pinpoint what it is that makes you feel lonely or alone?

5) What do you do and how do you feel when you Fi-overload in melancholic sense and there's no immediate solution or anyone to share with at the time?

6) Do you ever feel that (or experience) that someone else in your life / environment starts deep conversations of emotional nature with you (not counting your online interactions)? Or do you feel that you are always ''that one person'' to come up with these things with others? Does this bother you?

7) Are you past-oriented and future-oriented? Why do you think so? What about nostalgia, does it affect you in any particular way?

8) What do you find most interesting or intriguing about people? Regarding: a) strangers, b) friends, c) loved ones, d) family members, e) ...

9) Could you now please write an elaborate essay of at least 64.000 words concerning your idealism on love and romance?

10) Does any of this feels tiresome to you? Is there anything I can do to persuade you to do it anyway?

Thanks, love you in advance.
 

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1)Yes
2)Yes
3)Yes - because Ne and Fi are both needy/selective functions.
4)When I don't have my close friends to vent to. I have very few friends I can actually vent to, because I present a picture of positivity to most people, it is very difficult for me to be negative. If I can be negative often with someone, it means I have a deep trust for them- which is very valuable.
5)It's been years since I've had this.
6)People older and more experienced than myself are more likely to come up to me. Probably something to do with established confidence.
7)Future-Oriented. Being past oriented is like eating too much junk food- tempting but not healthy. The future is healthy.
8a)New information
b)How people develop / change
c/d)Deeper insights into people
9)No. I don't remotely want to do that at this moment in time.
 

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1) Are you chasing deep(er) connections at fast pace?
Yes and more than usual.
2) Do you feel guilty when others put in the efforts to go deeper (while it was rather easy for you), only for you to drop it again after a while because you are losing interest or feel that there isn't much more to discover?
This is mostly from my dating years. Sometimes. Depends. I figure some relationship transitions have to be a part of life. I think if it's the "lost interest" then I don't feel as guilty for some reason. If I move on because the relationship has been hurtful then I feel more guilty and had usually put more into the relationship and had cared a lot more. These days it's a bit different. Being 41, you chose your friends more carefully and you don't try to put a lot of effort into friendships unless they are going to be important and lasting. I think this is because when I was younger people came and went in living situations, school, etc. In later life adults don't PRETEND or force things that won't matter.
3) Do you feel alone from time to time, even in social situations or despite you having been socially active? If so, why?
Yes. More under #4.
4) Can you pinpoint what it is that makes you feel lonely or alone?
I think just right now I figured this out. I think it's if I don't get to express Fi and so in a party if there is someone I can connect and express with it will feel good. If there's not, and if they all seem caught up in something and I don't get to express Fi then it kind of feels like I'm not on the same wave-length with anyone. Being surrounded but feeling like I can't express = very lonely. More lonely than if I were alone I think. I think that I need to train my friends to understand it this way, "If an ENFP gets quiet in a social situation, something emotional or interesting is going on."
5) What do you do and how do you feel when you Fi-overload in melancholic sense and there's no immediate solution or anyone to share with at the time?
Oh my gosh! This is so validating to hear this question. It means you guys must all feel tormented in this situation too! I try to read a book or sometimes I'll find a movie. Sometimes I used to call and re-connect with people. I used to write poetry-- and this was my muse.
6) Do you ever feel that (or experience) that someone else in your life / environment starts deep conversations of emotional nature with you (not counting your online interactions)? Or do you feel that you are always ''that one person'' to come up with these things with others? Does this bother you?
Yes, well. I think I start these things and then feel kind of embarrassed for feeling like I "took over" the conversation, although my "taking over" involves the other person talking about themselves. But I think I know it's because my Ne went looking for meaning and connection. What really bothers me if if I do ask a bunch of questions and help everyone talk and basically facilitate a very successful and enjoyable night. Meaning everyone gets to talk but me and then nobody notices that I created all the great things that happened that night. lol At least this used to bother me. I remember saying to a roommate once, "Yeah, you know why that happened, right? You know why you got to know that guy? It's because I asked him a bunch of questions and then asked you a bunch of questions until you guys could talk about your love for ____. That was me." And I think now it wouldn't bother me at all and actually now I have a completely different way of going about things, I guess.
7) Are you past-oriented and future-oriented? Why do you think so? What about nostalgia, does it affect you in any particular way?
Oh my gosh! The right questions! I used to HATE nostalgia. I couldn't STAND it. I didn't keep things, I didn't build traditions. Nostalgia was my most hated emotion. And when people would say, "Ahh, do you remember when we...?" I didn't shut them up rudely but inside I was always like, "Why isn't it good right now?" Nostalgia hurt me in some way and I've always wanted to write something about that and it was probably not fun for any nostalgia loving friends. What's interesting is, again, I don't feel this way any more. I'll have so much fun talking about my kids when they were little. Nostalgia doesn't bother me anymore and I actively endorse fun traditions--- so very different. BUT I'm mostly now oriented. Not the best planner (although I do what's needed) and although I'm not thinking of the past much, I have a good memory and like writing about past experiences.
8) What do you find most interesting or intriguing about people? Regarding: a) strangers, b) friends, c) loved ones, d) family members, e) ...
Hmm, I'll break it down a bit differently. In my siblings I'm interested in their knowledge, experience, how we are growing and changing and how we influence each other and how we took the things we were raised with and ran with it. For instance, how my brother and his family is teaching their kids music v.s. how I do it. My youngest sister (INTP) just had her first baby, it was interesting to watch her be such a good mother. My siblings have become MORE interesting to me with time. Often I want to download everything they feel and are and read it like a book. I could talk deeply about this. With my parents I'm looking to connect to them (they're a bit difficult/resistant in connecting) and I still want to please them.
I read something that said that even in adults their happiness increases dramatically after good interactions with their parents. So true.
I will remember interacting with my kids will always be valuable to them. This is, of course, years after me pulling a "I'm an adult now and I'm living my way" independence move in my early 20's. Moving on...
At work what interests me is if I see viable collabortive ability and like-minded aims. I'm looking for people to help me enrich the health of the hospital and community. Quality improvement is a really good gig for me. I like improving systems and can see ways to improve systems easily. So--- is this a well-oiled machine? Where can I oil? How can I get support for oiling? Etc. I'm looking for people to help me make sure we follow the most current practices/standards. Also I'm looking for people I can trust, who will tell me exactly what they think and be realistic about our current state and then positive about change. If people are scared about finding things wrong and making changes, basically scared about quality improvement then I had better find another job. Positive changes are what I'm all about. Moving on before I talk more on this...
In my friendships I look for caring, trust, their interest in me, my interest in their interests. Also the breadth of interests is important. I will grow tired of someone who only has 2-3 topics that they want to talk about. I want to talk about EVERYTHING. Oh, also, makes me upset if they aren't telling me about all of their life. Don't shut me out! I want to be an 100% friend, not a compartmentalized friend.

9) Could you now please write an elaborate essay of at least 64.000 words concerning your idealism on love and romance?
People can decide to get through anything if both parties keep communicating. Danger if people clam up.

10) Does any of this feels tiresome to you? Is there anything I can do to persuade you to do it anyway?
I'm just sorry it's long. GREAT questions!
Thanks, love you in advance.[/QUOTE]
=) <3 yay ENFP-friendship power! I see our ENFP forum as a very protective and caring place!
 

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1) Are you chasing deep(er) connections at fast pace?
I'm not really sure what is considered fast. I mean I know my romantic relationships go from 0 to 100. Other relationships? I'm fairly 'patient' for. I suppose there's no quick way to develop depth with friendships for me.

2) Do you feel guilty when others put in the efforts to go deeper (while it was rather easy for you), only for you to drop it again after a while because you are losing interest or feel that there isn't much more to discover?
There's only one instance that I can really think that relates to this, and yes it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I had an old childhood friend go to my college. An INFP, quiet, shy, reliant on me to help them adjust and obviously wanted to reconnect the depth we had as kids. It's not that I didn't want to but I had a wide social group that I didn't pay the INFP enough attention... It was enough to make them drop out of college and redo the year at another place...

I suppose there may be other instances where I drop people trying to become close to me but I'm either ignorant or don't really care.

3) Do you feel alone from time to time, even in social situations or despite you having been socially active? If so, why?
Because of the lack of depth to relationships. When I was in high school I felt alone because all of my friends had deeper connections with someone other than me. I might have been able to count more friends than they could but they all felt superficial. It took me a number of years before I felt less like this. This repeated in university only I never had the time to develop that depth with others at university (besides my partner). I felt insanely lonely especially as things just about started to look like it was beginning to fall in place people graduated and left the country. Then I moved countries. It repeated again, obviously as I knew no one here. I feel like I've settled enough again but... I might leave and go back home again. It's tough going through this over and over.

4) Can you pinpoint what it is that makes you feel lonely or alone?
I used to think it was just the barrier to having friends who trust you enough to talk deeply with you. Maybe it's that in combination of having friends who understand you well enough that they can just predict you (not easy to predict an ENFP unless you really understand them).

5) What do you do and how do you feel when you Fi-overload in melancholic sense and there's no immediate solution or anyone to share with at the time?
Spiral into depression, become passive. Yeah, I'm not very good at dealing with this.

6) Do you ever feel that (or experience) that someone else in your life / environment starts deep conversations of emotional nature with you (not counting your online interactions)? Or do you feel that you are always ''that one person'' to come up with these things with others? Does this bother you?
I don't think I'm the one who normally initiates these conversations. I normally wait for others to give me a sign that they want to go to that kind of conversation... Sometimes people try to get emotions out of me and I'd rather not talk about all those FEELS. So yes, it bothers me sometimes.

7) Are you past-oriented and future-oriented? Why do you think so? What about nostalgia, does it affect you in any particular way?
Future. I'm past orientated when I'm feeling low. There aren't enough possibilities to the past so there's no point looking at it in so much depth because then I get caught up in what could have been. I'm not particularly nostalgic. I like to remember good strong memories sometimes. I collect tickets and photos for that reason but I don't dwell on them for that long.

8) What do you find most interesting or intriguing about people? Regarding: a) strangers, b) friends, c) loved ones, d) family members, e) ...
a) I probably find aesthetics the most intriguing thing about strangers and what I cab decipher from that alone.

b, c, d) uuuh, this is all very circumstantial to the individual.

9) Could you now please write an elaborate essay of at least 64.000 words concerning your idealism on love and romance?
Essay? I'm not counting that. I'll pass. ;p Maybe that's because it's 5am right now.

I don't think I'm that idealistic about love and romance. Pessimistic really. Romance is a chore but y'know, I guess I find it simultaneously cringy and sweet if someone were to be romantic with me. I'm not that good at romantic gestures. Everything I do is small scale acts of service or words of affirmation. I don't believe that love is eternal. I don't want to get married. I don't really know what I need or want in love besides memories of powerful emotions at the end of my life.

10) Does any of this feels tiresome to you? Is there anything I can do to persuade you to do it anyway?
Well I did it didn't I?
 
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