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Discussion Starter #1
I am typing this from my halls accommodation at University. I share a house with 6 other students. We are all between the ages of 19-23.

I am ill, I have flu and I am pretty much bed bound. All I've done the last three days is constantly blow snot from my nose (yes disgusting!), take Paracetomol to help with the fever, the headaches and the body aches. Last night I started coughing and I haven't been able to sleep properly and to top it all off I now have conjunctivitis in one eye.

I feel miserable and all I want to do is cry. My mum is worried and wants to come and get me and take me home and so far I have turned her down thinking I'll start to feel better the next day but so far this hasn't happened.

So anyway, whilst all this is happening I have been forcing myself out of bed to get food. I figured there's no point adding starvation to my list of symptoms as well.

When I go to the kitchen I will often bump into my housemates and they will say, (in a sympathetic voice), "How are you?" and I will reply "Still not good." or I'll just shake my head because it's too much effort to speak. And they will say "Oh no, I hope you feel better soon." And that's it. One girl even said to me "Still not better? Must be Flu then." and I replied "That's what the Uni nurse told me two days ago."

I'll trot off back to my room and that'll be the end of it. None of them have come to my room to offer help. I could be in here dieing for all they know. I'm running out of painkillers and I really could do with something to help this cough. I'm either going to have to drag my mum here (just over 2hr car journey) to get me the things I need or I'm going to have to ask them. And seeing as they have completely ignored my existence so far, apart from when they see me in the kitchen, I feel that by asking them I am being a burden to them.

Sorry for the long rant, I just felt like I had to post this somewhere otherwise I might just go insane!

Any thoughts?
 

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hey umbrellasky, i think there was another thread on here about what to do when you're sick...

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-forum-idealists/33689-when-you-sick.html

I would immediately start taking mega doses of vitamin C (pills or otherwise) and eat some hot chicken noodle soup. Both are relatively inexpensive and can be bought at almost any store (depends which country you live in, i suppose). Porridge is another good option for getting some easy to digest energy.

Also, get plenty of rest, sleep as much as you can and skip school if you have to.

I know it sucks asking for help, but try to ask your one of your roommates to help you buy the aforementioned food stuff if you can't get out of bed easily. Sometimes survival requires that we reach out to others, ya know?

love, Mom. :happy:
 

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None of them have come to my room to offer help.
I personally try to avoid sick people wherever possible in case I catch something from them (I have a slight phoebia of that + hate being sick). That being said however, if it was someone who I was close with e.g. friends/family then I would definitely risk it and help them. If it was just an acquaintance then I wouldn't risk it. Am I a bad person for being like that? Maybe. :crazy: It is also why I would never be a doctor... being around sick people all the time *shudder*.

I hope you get better soon! Stay warm and overload the Vitamin C consumption!

I know it sucks asking for help, but try to ask your one of your roommates to help you buy the aforementioned food stuff if you can't get out of bed easily. Sometimes survival requires that we reach out to others, ya know?
Refugee's advice is pretty good. Perhaps they don't know how serious your flu is? I personally have never had the flu so would have no idea how much worse it is compared to a common cold. Then again I notice that you all live in the same house thus the people with rooms close to you must know how bad it is. If I was one of them I probably would offer to help (standing a fair distance away) if I thought you needed groceries to be bought etc. (if I had some way of knowing how much food you had left)

PS Sorry if you were just looking for an INFP perspective, wasn't sure.
 

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They either didn't want to get sick themselves, or they did not knew what to do to make you feel better. Perhaps they were afraid of trying to help you because they're scared that you'll snap at them... I know when I'm sick, I wouldn't want a group around me being all over me... I'd freak out. XD
 

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I think you might have to go for the direct approach with them. Give them the benefit of the doubt. They may not know how awful you feel and what they can do to help. I personally can be really clueless in this department. I want to help, but a lot of times I have no idea what to do and would be only too happy to oblige them if they only asked! Actually, I feel honored that they would trust me like that, whereas I would feel annoyed if someone just assumed they were burdening me. Also, if you ask someone to help you, it creates a cool bonding experience. ;)
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks for your posts everyone. It's good to hear you point of view on this.

Latest update:

There is only one housemate who has helped me so far and she got me some painkillers when this whole thing first started, but she has gone home for a few days hence the problems I'm having with the rest of the house'mates'.

Ok well, I'm not very good at asking for help so I plucked up the courage and asked one of my housemates. Turns out the other two i would have asked are also away today.

So I asked her and she said "Well, I'm not going out today, but I might tomorrow, so if you ask me then I will get you what you need. I have these if they will help" - hands me 4 paracetomol and 3 ibuprofen.

So at that point I was thinking. OMG do I have to spell it out to you? I need to take painkillers every 4 hours because I have a fever...hence why I asked if you could go get me some, I am ill! At that point I just gave up. If you want something done, do it yourself...even if you're dieing!

In the end I forced myself out of bed, got dressed and popped to the campus shop to see if they have any painkillers and they do. So I got the stuff I needed for myself.

I still could do with some cough medicine as my cough keeps coming and going but the shop didn't have any and there is no way i'm going into town. I asked someone for help and it didn't work. So called 'student services' are only open Monday-Friday so fat lot of good they are.

I know I sound ungrateful and pathetic and whiney but I've never felt so ill in my life! I have an assignment due next week which I'm going to have to have an extension on because of the lectures I've missed and I'm going to miss. I know things will turn out ok in the end I just had to vent somewhere.
 

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I'll admit the last part about the roommate saying she wasn't going out was a bit rude. Even then though, as you were able to prove by actually doing it, it isn't impossible for you to go to the store once in 3 days with the flu. It would have been nice if one of them did it but sometimes people just suck and you have to suck it up :/

Being an INFP I would have helped you as soon as you asked, but I can understand the other side. I would give your roommates the benefit of the doubt; it is a bit rude that no one has asked if you needed anything, but they may also just want to avoid catching the flu themselves (which is especially easy to do when you live with someone who has it). And it seems like some of them are gone, so I don't think it is fair to say that all your roommates suck, just this one self-centered person who couldn't take 20 minutes to run to the store for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Yeah I got there myself, the campus store is less than 5min away from my halls. I could not have gone any farther than that. It just annoyed me that I was clearly asking for help and she couldn't seem to understand that.

It would just have been nice if someone actually thought to come and ask if I needed anything that's all instead of just leaving me to it. Especially when the only housemate that did help (when I asked), has gone away for the weekend.

I know I'm whining. I've just never been this ill before or felt so alone. Maybe I'm just expecting too much from people I've only lived with for just over two weeks.
 

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Honestly they probably have no idea what to really do,they don't know you well and they themselves have classes and
things to do You have to remember life doesn't stop for them. NOT trying to sound mean at all trust me I do think it was rude of the one roomate,but maybe she is trying to conserve her gas? you know.
I don't really like to be around really ill people either it makes me worry,and maybe they feel as if you SHOULD call your mom
and to be honest If I was you that's exactly what I would do no one can take as good as care of you as your mom : )
 

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My thoughts?

They're almost next to worthless, we all know there's a difference between an acquittance and a friend.

Most importantly, I don't think your thought process is conducive to yourself. You're really just stressing yourself and that may even make your symptoms worse, or at the very least, it will extend the amount of time you're sick.

While I empathize with your situation and I'd certainly coddle you with no strings attached hugs, the reality is I'm not in a position to do that. In my eyes, you should bottle up and -expect nothing- from anyone until you feel better. I rarely give this type of advice, but I think your expectations of them are leading to your disappointment. Fuck em :D, get yourself out of this rut. Hell, forcing yourself out into the fresh air to go to the campus store may have been the best thing you could have done. Your antibodies go up by around 40% while outside, just have to make sure you're properly bundled up.
 
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Ah that really sucks, I've been in a similar situation. Alone in my room next to a busy smelly road, nobody to reach out to; I didn't really want to call for help. After three days, having the flu + not eating anything + no painkillers I felt like dying and decided to take the train back home to my parents, a 2 hour journey as well. Exhausting, but in the end worth the effort. It is best to have someone around who cares for you when you're that ill.

Get better soon!
 
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Discussion Starter #12
Thanks guys some tough love there haha.

Calvaire - I have called my mum...she's been checking up on me several times a day and wanted to come take me home, but there is no point I'll still be ill where ever I am it just means that I'll have someone to feed me lol.

Lad - Thanks. I actually felt worse after going outside, very tiring. I have my bedroom window open for fresh air though which helps.

Just thought I'd add that this person who couldn't be bothered to go to the shop actually stopped by my room earlier offering to make me a cup of tea which I thought was nice of her. So I felt pretty bad after what I said. I still don't get why she couldn't have popped to the shop for me though. I'm sure she never meant to be malicious she probably just wasn't thinking.

She also said she wants a takeaway tonight because she doesn't feel like cooking and asked if I wanted one as well, then she added that her order doesn't come to enough for free delivery but if I ordered something too it will. I wonder if she would have even bothered to ask me if she was able to get free delivery on just her order. I know, I know negative thoughts again.

Anyways I know I sound like a bitch and believe me if you knew me in person bitch would be the last thing you'd call me as I never like to complain about people behind their backs. I just felt the need to post this here to find out if I am expecting too much from my housemates? And it looks like I am. So yeah I feel bad for thinking this way and pretty stupid for even starting up this thread.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your perspective on this. I think I'm going to end it here before all this negativity (on my part) gets out of hand. :sad:
 

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So yeah I feel bad for thinking this way and pretty stupid for even starting up this thread.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your perspective on this. I think I'm going to end it here before all this negativity (on my part) gets out of hand. :sad:
No thread on here is ever a waste, except that one about the color of your socks. Lots of people have thoughts on their mind that they'll never ask, but that means the topics that do show up are usually relevant to somebody else.

You're far too hard on yourself though, but lots of people are. Your sickness, sounds pretty harsh, but that will fade away eventually. Try not to beat yourself up though, easier said than done of course. Anyways, when you're feeling better, be sure to have some probiotic foods (yogurtttttt) after. Hang in there :D, nerd out with some movies if you need to.
 

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Yeah I got there myself, the campus store is less than 5min away from my halls. I could not have gone any farther than that. It just annoyed me that I was clearly asking for help and she couldn't seem to understand that.

It would just have been nice if someone actually thought to come and ask if I needed anything that's all instead of just leaving me to it. Especially when the only housemate that did help (when I asked), has gone away for the weekend.

I know I'm whining. I've just never been this ill before or felt so alone. Maybe I'm just expecting too much from people I've only lived with for just over two weeks.
The first and last sentences caught my eye because I remember being really sick for a few days when I was living in the dorms my first year of college. It was the first time I really experienced being sick without anyone to take care of me, and I had to learn to do it myself. You and I actually had about the same distance to get to the campus store, so I know what it is like walking to a store to get medicine and feeling like you just want to fall over and die. Maybe you got to drive, I don't know.

I think it is part of learning to be an adult and an experience everyone needs to go through to understand how to take care of yourself even when you are sick as hell. Even though I now get to have a car, it still sucks driving yourself to Walgreens when you can barely see straight and snot won't stop running down your upper lip. But you learn to deal with it.

I'm sure 'this is a good life lesson' doesn't help much to hear when you are really really sick and everyone is disappointing you, but I can assure you it won't be the last time you'll need to go through this. I think there is always a positive lesson we can take away from things that happen to us in life.

Plus, next time you'll be better prepared to have lots of medicine at home stocked, or will know to go out at the first signs of a cold and get about 3 of every medicine you need (the latter was the lesson I learned).
 
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