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OK so lately I've been getting really annoyed by certain things...and I'm posting on here, because I function as an ISTJ under high stress (which i've been under lately)

I've had people who contact ME to meet up sometime, but when I email them back with some general times I am free (since they asked), they don't respond. I don't understand?

Example: Sally emailed me: "Hey, I heard you are back in the area! Let's go get lunch or hang out sometime. when are you free? i can't wait to see u!!" I replied: "I'm usually free on Tuesdays/thursdays for lunch and most weekends. =) just let me know what works with u and i cant wait to see you too!" When it comes to meeting times, I like to give a time range, rather than a specific time, so it gives the other person the flexibility of choosing/figuring out what works with their schedule. I changed this though...Before, like a year ago, if someone contacted me, i used to say something like "Awesome. How does 5pm on Wednesday sound?", but that was when our lives were slightly less complicated without as much work, stress, life. And I figured people would appreciate me giving them this flexibility. I know I would.

I feel kind of annoyed I guess because I'm EXTREMELY introverted, and I went out of my way to open up my schedule for that person. Even if I were free on Tues/Thurs lunch time, I wouldn't be free if it's someone not important in my life. And I now have that sense of "waiting" vaguely for this person to reply back, even though I'm not consciously waiting, it's always at the back of my mind as "things to do - figure out when we are meeting up" because the moment that person contacted me to meet up, it became a to-do for me. Most of these people are extroverted types if that helps. Specifically, one is ESFJ and one is ENTP. Blah, maybe its because i didn't get enough sleep last night, but I feel cranky and pessimistic
 

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MOTM May 2011
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You are giving too many choices. Give them a choice of A or B and you will get better results. IOW, I am free for lunch this Tuesday or this Thursday. Which works better for you?

This gives them a choice but is not wide open like you have nothing to do.
 
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email = snail mail, and pending issues drive us insane. Ever waited on a possible significant other to call you back when he/she had no intention to? thats another story another day. I would try to get a cell # for at least text messaging for faster communication.
 

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I feel kind of annoyed I guess because I'm EXTREMELY introverted, and I went out of my way to open up my schedule for that person. Even if I were free on Tues/Thurs lunch time, I wouldn't be free if it's someone not important in my life. And I now have that sense of "waiting" vaguely for this person to reply back, even though I'm not consciously waiting, it's always at the back of my mind as "things to do - figure out when we are meeting up" because the moment that person contacted me to meet up, it became a to-do for me. Most of these people are extroverted types if that helps. Specifically, one is ESFJ and one is ENTP. Blah, maybe its because i didn't get enough sleep last night, but I feel cranky and pessimistic
I do the exact same thing, offer the other person a time range, for the exact same reason - that they might appreciate being given the flexibility, like I know I would.

What I don't do is 1) use e-mail as the means of communication, and 2) keep my schedule opened up for more than 24 hours.

When adding new contacts I always ask for people's cellphone numbers, and send text messages for setting up meetings. When they don't reply within a couple of hours, I call them. If they don't pick up and don't return my call within the day, I don't hesitate to put other new appointments into those slots. That way you don't have to wait for more than a day, and if the other person belatedly calls, you can say politely but firmly: 'Dude, I gave you 24 hours. You're now welcome to pick another date.' Trust me, nobody will object.

Chances are, your contacts are probably minding the whole appointment a lot less than you are, or have even forgotten about it. In that case you shouldn't be stuck in that prolonged state of tension and stress, either. I know how hard that can be. You can give yourself the break you deserve.
 
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