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Discussion Starter #1
How do you feel about them? Have you ever been raped? (if you want to answer, then please, there's no personal attack intended). How did you feel and how did you overcome your feelings after been raped? So many of the rapist escapes, girls have to stay alert everytime they walk on roads.
To ladies- how do you defend yourself in the road when you think someone is targeting you?
 
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I feel it's a really complicated issue. I have been raped when I was 17. Initially, I was totally numb to it. Up to that night, I had never even kissed a guy or been on a date - it was date rape that happened. We met online and talked on the phone and then he randomly showed up at my house because he knew my last name and phone number and looked me up in the phone book. Alarm bells went off, but I was naive and kinda wanted him to like me. We went out that day, then it started later - I said no, he didn't listen, and then he laughed it off after like it was no big deal and I drove home totally confused and shaken. Immediately after I did think about going to the police, but I was so overwhelmed with what that would look, how I would have to explain that we were on a date, how I would have to explain to my parents...it was too much and so I tried to tell myself it wasn't a big deal. I kept in contact with him for 3 weeks and other sexual activity happened that I do not consider rape, but the first time absolutely was.

Three years later I started experiencing anxiety and depression and when an acquaintance had an unwanted sexual experience I was completely triggered and contacted a local agency to get immediate Sexual Assault Crisis Counselling. The program was wonderful and I felt like I was really able to deal with all the feelings and confusion and depression and anxiety. I ended up writing this guy a letter and actually sending it and confronting him. This is something I would recommend only after a lot of soul searching. Sometimes it's hard to anticipate how you'll be affected seeing the person and while I felt he heard what I was saying, I also felt manipulated after the meeting and regretted doing it in person because no matter how much I didn't want him to have power over me, as soon as I saw him I was completely intimidated.

I think there's many who have committed sexual assault who don't even know they have. I think there's some who want to victimize others. I think there's some who think they're "players" and don't realize how some of their actions affect the people they're with. I think some of the perps can be educated about their behaviour, I think some have serious disorders, and I think many just don't care and refuse to see anything wrong with their behaviour.

A couple of years ago I volunteered in the same program I had used and I have to say, many of the cases you see are not stranger rape cases - they're often domestic or acquaintance. I don't worry too much when I'm out and about, but I am very aware of my surroundings and what I can do if I get in a bad situation. I think it's disgusting that I have to be responsible for making sure I'm not out too late, that I'm with other people, or that no one is following me - but I know the reality of the world we live in now so I've taken a women's self defense class and I've done a lot of self esteem and self confidence work.

When it comes to street harassment, I usually throw out a "fuck you", or give 'em the finger - since most of the time they're driving by. When I was 18 and coming out of a bar wearing jeans and a tank top an older man said I looked "good to fuck". I turned around and said, "fuck you" and he told me i was a fucking bitch for thinking i could go out dressed like that and not have guys want me. It gives me the creeps thinking about it.

I don't respond if I feel I'm in an unsafe situation, but again, most of these comments come from men who are driving by or riding by on a bike so there's not a whole lot you can say. If it comes from someone in a company truck or working on a job, I will report them to the company.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
When it comes to street harassment, I usually throw out a "fuck you", or give 'em the finger - since most of the time they're driving by. When I was 18 and coming out of a bar wearing jeans and a tank top an older man said I looked "good to fuck". I turned around and said, "fuck you" and he told me i was a fucking bitch for thinking i could go out dressed like that and not have guys want me. It gives me the creeps thinking about it.

I don't respond if I feel I'm in an unsafe situation, but again, most of these comments come from men who are driving by or riding by on a bike so there's not a whole lot you can say. If it comes from someone in a company truck or working on a job, I will report them to the company.
Yeah, I feel so annoyed when people pass comments. Wonder why can't they just mind their own fucking businesses, instead of passing shitty comments. Typical cowards they're.
 

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I don't think i could ever get over it, or cope with it. If something like that would happen to me , i would buy a gun and learn how to use it. Also i'd like to cath the bastard and torture him while keeping him alive. Of course that would only be in my mind coz in real life i'd prolly choke in my own tears over and over again.
I guess talking about it would help...
 
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QUEEN PEEN
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I have been assaulted. I won't go into any details. If I'm going anywhere by myself, I'll constantly be looking around and watching the people that surround me. I do always carry some sort of weapon. Even your keys can do a lot of damage... just saying. Have confidence in knowing that you can defend yourself. If you don't have that confidence, I would find a way to gain it :)
 

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QUEEN PEEN
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I don't think i could ever get over it, or cope with it. If something like that would happen to me , i would buy a gun and learn how to use it. Also i'd like to cath the bastard and torture him while keeping him alive. Of course that would only be in my mind coz in real life i'd prolly choke in my own tears over and over again.
I guess talking about it would help...
I'm glad you brought up talking about it. This is actually a very healthy thing. Don't bear the burden by yourself. This doesn't mean that you have to go into every gruesome detail. Inform people that it happens and let them know that you can still live a good life even when dealing with those repercussions. Take some extra precautions, and encourage others who are experiencing some of the same things... flash backs, panic attacks, PTSD, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
And what problem occurs when you become pregnant?
 

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rapes don't always happen in the instance of random assault.

don't most rapes happen between two people who know each other?
 

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Discussion Starter #11
rapes don't always happen in the instance of random assault.

don't most rapes happen between two people who know each other?
Here, in my country, it even happen in roads. Like a group of shits kidnap a girl who was alone at night and then she'll loose it.

SillaSY said:
Males are victims of rape, too. Let's not forget this.
But that's rare right?
 

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rapes don't always happen in the instance of random assault.

don't most rapes happen between two people who know each other?
Yup, same goes for child molestation and all that bad stuff. There's this idea of an evil boogeyman you don't know who is out to get you. Though in reality, it's usually someone you know or know casually.
 

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QUEEN PEEN
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And what problem occurs when you become pregnant?
That's a tough one, and one I've experienced. I decided I was going to keep it if I was pregnant... I ended up not being pregnant. I understand not wanting to keep it, but I have such an immense love for children. I know I would love my child and take good care of him/her despite how he/she was created. I would have thought of the child as the light at the end of the tunnel, the blessing I was meant to have. I was actually disappointed when I ended up not being pregnant because I had to find some sort of sunshine in the midst of all of the craziness. I eventually decided there was no sunshine, but knew that I could adapt just fine by doing the things I mentioned above... take precautions, encourage others, etc.
 

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But that's rare right?
Male rape is even less reported because of the shame felt. We barely have correct statistics on how often females are raped because of how many go unreported. Males can be raped by women and other men, they'd rather not compromise their social standing by reporting either.
 

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But that's rare right?
No, Male rape is not rare. In fact, many experts on the matter believe it is every bit as common as female rapes. It just goes unreported. Males are waaay waaaay waaaaay less likely to report rape or molestation.
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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Male rape is even less reported because of the shame felt. We barely have correct statistics on how often females are raped because of how many go unreported. Males can be raped by women and other men, they'd rather not compromise their social standing by reporting either.

Prisoners?
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Fizz said:
Male rape is even less reported because of the shame felt. We barely have correct statistics on how often females are raped because of how many go unreported. Males can be raped by women and other men, they'd rather not compromise their social standing by reporting either.
Khys said:
No, Male rape is not rare. In fact, many experts on the matter believe it is every bit as common as female rapes. It just goes unreported. Males are waaay waaaay waaaaay less likely to report rape or molestation.
Oh,I wonder how does that go. I knew males were raped but in my country, it's always the females who have to suffer more.
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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it's always the females who have to suffer more.
I agree. Women have more to lose psychologically and physically if they become impregnated from the rape.

And for certain countries, they still have those old traditions and laws of 'no sex before marriage' and if it does happen, rape or not, the woman suffers some unjustified punishment. Women seem to have more of a burden altogether if there's no 'support' from their community.

Whereas if a boy was sexually molested, say... an alter boy... they'll grow up having that mental scar of the abuse. They can either be healthy, disturbed, or a pedophile like the monsters that preyed on them earlier in life. They don't have the downside of becoming pregnant and having to deal with raising a child. Not to say the males won't grow up to be murderous individuals, but we can agree that both genders will have undeniable problems with trauma and coping after being victimized.
 
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