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As some of you already know, I went through a really toxic friendship this past year, that resulted in psychological and emotional trauma for me. I know I've done a handful of posts on this expressing my feelings on this, so sorry for another post, but I guess this post is sort of me trying to reach some closure. (i was talking to runescribe about this and he explained this to me: " The closure point becomes like a tab we can flip to in our memory so that when we do ponder on the passing episode we can see its condensed symbolic meaning in a positive way and move on. We want to... be able to attach a symbol to it in our Ni intuition.") Throughout my time on PerC, I've been touched by everyone's desire to help and I've learned a lot from everyone's posts. So who better to turn to for help than fellow INFJs who understand me? :blushed:
After this huge ordeal, I've gone through a tremendous (almost year-long) recovery process, which I am still in: flashback episodes/bad dreams -> detachment and numbing (as though I didn't even care about it) -> forgetting important parts of what happened to the point where my family members have to remind me what she did-> anger at myself for letting myself be betrayed and manipulated by someone -> acknowledging my right to be angry -> forgiving them and letting go of resentment against her -> right now -> -> -> reaching that closure point.
And I'm quoting vel from another thread on this: my family members and close friends said that the reason this happened to me was because I give "off an air of being well-grounded and happier with yourself, something she struggled to attain." The only reasons why this person did what she did to me were because I was well-grounded, happy (at least at that time), different than her and the rest of the girls, and NICE. My dad has told me so many times how she saw that she could do what she did, because she knew I was nice. This experience was traumatizing because before this group of girls, I never had much experience with people like this - only childhood friends or high school friends that were homebodies/bookworms like me. I couldn't even imagine some of the things she did to me and even today, I'm still caught so off-guard even just thinking about everything.
Anyway I'm turning 22 soon (in exactly a month actually), and I want to find a closure point and somehow condense this entire experience in a positive way, so I can have that symbolic point I come back to. I'd appreciate any help on trying to reframe this positively, because I realize I'm focusing still on more of the negatives. Thanks again guys for all of your help and support, seriously all the threads on PerC have helped me a lot to even come to this point!
After this huge ordeal, I've gone through a tremendous (almost year-long) recovery process, which I am still in: flashback episodes/bad dreams -> detachment and numbing (as though I didn't even care about it) -> forgetting important parts of what happened to the point where my family members have to remind me what she did-> anger at myself for letting myself be betrayed and manipulated by someone -> acknowledging my right to be angry -> forgiving them and letting go of resentment against her -> right now -> -> -> reaching that closure point.
And I'm quoting vel from another thread on this: my family members and close friends said that the reason this happened to me was because I give "off an air of being well-grounded and happier with yourself, something she struggled to attain." The only reasons why this person did what she did to me were because I was well-grounded, happy (at least at that time), different than her and the rest of the girls, and NICE. My dad has told me so many times how she saw that she could do what she did, because she knew I was nice. This experience was traumatizing because before this group of girls, I never had much experience with people like this - only childhood friends or high school friends that were homebodies/bookworms like me. I couldn't even imagine some of the things she did to me and even today, I'm still caught so off-guard even just thinking about everything.
Anyway I'm turning 22 soon (in exactly a month actually), and I want to find a closure point and somehow condense this entire experience in a positive way, so I can have that symbolic point I come back to. I'd appreciate any help on trying to reframe this positively, because I realize I'm focusing still on more of the negatives. Thanks again guys for all of your help and support, seriously all the threads on PerC have helped me a lot to even come to this point!