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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What do you think about this topic?

I was watching this video:


and ....God Damn.. I can envision myself being like them, 10-15 years from now is not that long.

I have a hard enough time keeping friends, let a lone making them, and this is nowhere near having sex with someone.

Some people might say just hire a hooker but I don't think I could do that. Just looking to start a discussion, whatever you think is appreciated.

As I get older, it seems more daunting with every passing year. The idea of being able to attract someone, or to be in a relationship with someone, or to have sex with someone.:unsure:
 

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get off your ass and go date.

being in lust, or love is one of the greatest things in the entire world. I would not miss it again for anything.
 

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At least, in my case, sexual orientation definitely played a large part in my prolonged virginity. I was a late bloomer, and even then, my two exes practically had to aggressively pursue me before I showed any amount of strong interest. The sex wasn't bad, and I definitely felt emotions for them, but the overall spark, the connection, never really existed. A lot of it felt forced, like an obligation. I settled, basically, just to say I had a girlfriend. It was horrible: friends were getting married left and right and I was wondering what in the world was wrong with me while feeling pressured to doing something that didn't feel right.

It was easy to rationalize, say my standards were just too high, that I wasn't interested in dating, was too nice, etc. but at the same time, the walls were slowly breaking down, and same-sex attractions were becoming increasingly more obvious. I had several "chapters" in my revelation over the course of three years, and when I became comfortable and completely honest with myself, I knew what the missing piece was, and for the first time, I *wanted* to date, love, and fuck someone else. To spend my future together with. It was truly like experiencing a second puberty, but much, much stronger and genuine than the first.

Anyway, my story alone. It probably doesn't apply to you, but I thought it might help. A lot of people realize these things when they're young, but because I was raised in a homophobic environment, those thoughts were repressed to a subconscious level, a case of latent homosexuality. Either way, a bit of soul searching as to why you haven't been successful might do you some good in the long-run. That said, there is nothing wrong with staying single or celibate... ask yourself why it's such a priority for you right now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone, I think I want companionship on some level but probably lack the social skills to do it. All of the dates I have been on have been anywhere from bad to terrible, right now it feels like I just dont get it. Maybe I will make another thread in 13 years lol.
 

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I'm in the same situation as OP, same age even.

I've long realized that's going to be the case for me, not even bothered about the fact. I just hope I won't be like all the losers you see crying about being old virgins(but, I think they're handpicked by the media).
 

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I think it's ok. No point in doing something so intimate if one doesn't want to. I don't know even why people make such a fuss over it. Sex-obsessed creatures.
Unless their 'choice' is result of their terrible incapability of socialization + being terribly unattractive (most of the self-reported virgins I've seen aren't).
 

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meh im glad I got the whole thing out of the way, going through a super long dry spell right now of like 6ish months and its KILLLING me.

for real though, go to a bar, just go so much tht you stop being insecure and eventually some chick will fck you.
 

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Its already been said by others in the thread pretty much, but yeah - casual socializing, having groups of friends will help. Within these you get to know females without the pressure of some weird random approaching a stranger. The pressure is off when you're just hanging out in a circle of friends so you can get to know each other.

That, or find people online who live near you, and get to know them online a bit first.

Workplace is also another easy way to meet people of the opposite sex.

And don't worry about the whole scared virgin thing. Chances are you'll meet a girl whos not a virgin at some point, whos interested, and she will be happy to show you how its done. That is actually common - and they realize guys aren't going to fuck like porn stars their first time rolling in the hay.
 

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Its already been said by others in the thread pretty much, but yeah - casual socializing, having groups of friends will help. Within these you get to know females without the pressure of some weird random approaching a stranger. The pressure is off when you're just hanging out in a circle of friends so you can get to know each other.

That, or find people online who live near you, and get to know them online a bit first.

Workplace is also another easy way to meet people of the opposite sex.

And don't worry about the whole scared virgin thing. Chances are you'll meet a girl whos not a virgin at some point, whos interested, and she will be happy to show you how its done. That is actually common - and they realize guys aren't going to fuck like porn stars their first time rolling in the hay.
This assumes the existence of friends.
 

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I lost my virginity pretty late, (20) statistically speaking. I can't imagine 40. I found the main problem with being a virgin was that you're really locked out of a whole set of conversations and "bonding" moments/opportunities between men. After a certain age people just stop judging you—but the main problem seems to me as you get past the sort of youthful energy phase of your life it is going to become a lot harder. By the time you're 40 or even 30 and if you haven't got any, for most people the sort of will to power to get laid is pretty much gone if you haven't done it before. It must become pretty embarrassing.

I have heard it said that if you don't get laid before university you won't get laid during university. I have found this to be broadly true.

I watched a programme once about 40 year old virgins, not sure if its the one in the OP. Some guy goes to a school in Amsterdam to get "taught" how to be intimate/approachable to women, and then eventually, how to have sex. Before he goes off to Amsterdam he goes shopping with his grandma. It's sad. If you are 40 years old your problem isn't that you haven't ever had sex it's that you go shopping with your grandparents.
 

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fwiw, I was a virgin when I got to college. never even kissed a girl in high school.

Painfully shy.

I "blossomed".
 
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l think when this happens people are aiming too high?

Let me clarify, not ''too high'' but aiming for this image of one type of girl who probably wouldn't like them but failing to realize how varied women can be.

l don't know why men seem to do this often seeing as you'd think they'd realize how many non-typical men there are, but l think this idealized girl image is formed based on many factors.

l dunno what to tell you, l've had all kinds of friends and definitely some sitting on the lower end of the ''social skills'' spectrum who still managed to have some friends who made it their duty to get them get laid. Unless you actually scare people in some way, you can pass it off as quirkiness :kitteh:
 
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