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I'm just wondering recently.. have any of you, especially INFPs, often feel sooo damn 'trapped' in this so-called 'Real world'??..
the thread Existential Depression have often served as perhaps the main basic explanation as to why I often feel that no matter what, these days especially, I often feel like almost everything in this real-world is just so barren, 'dry', and doesn't interest/fulfill me anymore. let alone all those "normal society's" things and expectations such as BIG money, prestige, new car, status, higher company/corporate position, bla bla bla...gosh!

Seriously, this "Law and Order", money-driven real world can be super dull and boring beyond words..
even the most vivid human imaginations are sometimes a HUNDRED times more vivid than this one..
sometimes I wonder if there is God who created/made us, is He (or It, whatever) really 'cruel' as to entrap us within this limited physical body, while some of us, our human's super-vivid imaginations & fantasy-creations (eg: movies, video-games, anime, novels) often make us want to escape the limitation of our body sooo badly!
does God play joke on us?
is there some kind of Cosmic joke being played on us, mere humans??...

and perhaps, my recent search/research into the 'other-worldly' things such as Astral Projection, Astral Travel, OBE, NDE, Quantum Physics, even the whole Ascension, Dimension Shifting, 2012, etc...maybe I just want to 'escape' from this world that I too often can't relate anymore.. sooo badly!

at my 'darkest' hours, sometimes I even thought of shedding my 'cursed' human body & flesh, and just to really *see* what's beyond this 'Limited' earthly world...

so HOW can we therefore remain sane in this so called "normal" (in my dictionary though: super boring, dull, mundane beyond words!) world?...

I hope I"m not alone in feeling all of these...'cuz I think I almost gone insane..!
and fuck "normal society"'s expectations btw (or I'd rather say: super-boring, dull, mundane expectations!).
 

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You're not alone Niki; I feel the very same way but it only motivates me to try changing things.

Eudaimonia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Kathekon - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Apatheia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Ataraxia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Perhaps you're not very comfortable with Greek philosophy but do these ring any bells with you? (Perhaps something to look into?) I could easily see these traits in you, which is a good thing but it seems like despite your Good nature, you're still uncomfortable with who you are. You're not defectuous, broken or inferior. The main difference between you and most people is that you're much less instinctive and thus less animalistic and more humane.

Don't you believe that if more people were similar to you, then you could be blissfully happy? Why not try to help them grow and learn to philosophize as you do?

There are some very interesting things in this world. Please don't let yourself be limited by what "the mass" likes or thinks of you.

As for me, I don't enjoy money, cars, gadgets, flings, TV shows, food, discussions or any of these things. The only things I enjoy are reading, playing videogames, falling in love and philosophizing; and yet, when I stop doubing myself and remember that what others think of me is irrelevant, I feel happy and entirely at peace.
 

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Life only seems mundane and boring because we are relatively safe from our environment, due to technology. But, take it away, and we're left with fending for our lives. Perhaps we have given too much credit to our technology to protect us and take care of us. Ancient civilizations attributed their meaning and protection to gods. They had no qualms about the supernatural. Every big decision in life was consulted with a deity.

As for other-worldly...I think you already have an extensive knowledge, but I sense you're not sure what to do.
 

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You're right, the world really IS boring, dry and routine. And there really IS so much we don't know, because of all these ridiculous limitations we installed into our brains to make life easier.
Pablo Picasso said: "Everything you imagine is real." I think, if you have the mental power to believe something hard enough, it becomes real. Hell, the psychic dudes who bend spoons tell you that it's all in your head. And who says insane people are wrong in their way of seeing the world?
All those movies, novels, games, stories might be a way of shaping our reality itself, we just haven't figured it out yet. Life might be just an existential nightmare, but the difference may really be only in the way we choose to see it.

As for the society's expectations - fuck that. What other people expect, is their problem, not yours. Do everything you want and feel is right, as long as you don't end up in jail. Or live outside of society (although there aren't many people doing that, so I imagine it's a lonely path to go).

And if all else fails, I sometimes entertain myself with the thought that the only thing that truly exists is my conscience, and that it creates everything I experience. So, theoretically, I could do and have everything I wanted.
 

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I've been slowly progressing towards reality, having spent years watching movies and anime - wishing that was my life, my reality. But you know what? Life can be pretty damn adventurous too, if you only try. Those made-up worlds and stories pale when I look at a girl smiling at me, or when I speed across the open waters under a clear summer sky.
 

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When are you going to take control of your life and go do the things you want?

Seriously, I remember a year ago or more giving you advice. You have now wasted a year or your life not doing what you want to do that you can never get back. How is this next year looking?

In that same year which you did the same stuff and were bored/miserable/hating life, I got together with the person I consider my soulmate, lost my job for two months before having to start over on a whole new team in another town, travelled to California for the first time and finally saw San Francisco, started a business that failed badly, and learned from my failures which led me to go after different business opportunities when I studied why I failed.

I'm now in the middle of starting three different types of ways to make money online with @laurachanelle and we're racing to get it all done so that we can try to move out of America by the end of summer. Most of the extra money I make from my main job is invested directly into these new businesses. We try to complete as much as we can with the time we have, and rather than use money to pay other people to do that work, we use the money to pay them to do even MORE work while still putting in as much as we can so we have an even bigger and faster output. I am constantly re-adjusting my life to try to get more productive, in better shape, happier, and ultimately continue to work more and more towards my dreams of being able to travel around the world.

I work a full time job that takes at least 40 hours (sometimes 50 including weekend work, especially when I first started and had to wake up at 6AM and put in 10 hour days every week day for two months straight in November and December) and requires a few days of travel with a 3+ hour round trip per week, and also have a full time relationship with Laura. So I work nights and weekends on my goals. There isn't a day that I just relax and do nothing; I break my relaxation time into just a few hours certain days of the week. The only TV I allow myself is watching most New Jersey Devils games and 1 hour of Top Chef every week, with maybe a half-hour cooking show or episode of How I Met Your Mother thrown in if Laura and I decide to eat dinner in front of the TV rather than at the table that night. I rarely post on PerC any longer not because of disinterest, but rather I simply don't often have the time. You happened to catch me on a good day where I can slack off on some of my real job's work to type this up.

I'm not saying all this to show off how amazing I am; I'm saying it because I'm trying to convey that changing your life and going after your dreams is not easy and it requires real work and effort. Sitting around and dreaming without any action is going to do nothing but make you even more bitter and resentful as you think about everything you want yet don't get. The truth is you can have it if you actually start working towards it.

You live with your parents and you're nearly 30. You are still living under their rule because of it. Why don't you go out and get your own place, even if it means getting a roommate (or two, or three). You aren't stuck; life keeps telling you to get off your ass or you will not be happy, and you are just refusing to do it.

You think the world isn't interesting and you have to escape to fantasy worlds? Give me a break. This world is amazing. Here, take a look.

Instead of complaining, why don't you actually go after your dreams? You act like no one else in the world is like you. Bullshit! Why don't you start reading blogs of inspirational people who actually go do interesting things with their lives and start figuring out how they are doing it? That would be a good use of your time instead of sitting around posting how miserable you are on PerC all the time saying the rest of the world doesn't understand you. The very nature of there being a forum online with other people like you who do understand you makes that argument irrelevant.

You think everyone just wants to make as much money as possible in valueless jobs? What absolute nonsense. Here:

The Art of Non-Conformity
TropicalMBA
Illuminated Mind

Maybe you are right that the majority of the world doesn't view the world in the same way, but to say everyone else does and that you are stuck in that world is preposterous and flat out untrue. There are tons of resources online that I have spent months/years now reading and studying to learn everything I could to break out of the same life "everyone else" is living.

You have a quote by Tony Robbins in your signature. Do you actually listen to him? I have; in fact I surround myself with this positive thinking and self-help stuff constantly to keep myself motivated to keep working on all the different things I want.

I'm sick and tired of watching other INFPs on here enable you. No offense to everyone else on here, but empathizing doesn't fix issues.

niki, your problem is that you are too frightened to give up the security around you. You don't have to live with your parents, you don't have to work for them, but you choose to because it is easy. It is the same reason I stayed with my ex-wife so long; it was easier to settle and be miserable than to actually put in hard work and effort. It wasn't until I finally couldn't take it any longer that I started to do something about it, and then changing was easy and everything became clear (which is exactly something Tony Robbins talks about as the necessary catalyst for change).

You have got to get mad as hell about your situation and decide once and for all that you aren't going to take it anymore. You have to be willing to not care what your parents think and decide to go your own way. They don't have to live your life and be miserable, it is not for them to decide it regardless of custom or tradition. Stop making excuses as to why the rest of the world is holding you down, or God is playing a cruel joke on you. They aren't, and He/She/Tao/Nothing (for you atheists)/It isn't.

You have a job working for your parents, so you must have enough money to go out and pay for your own things? Including apartment rent, or at least part of it if you get a roommate? If not, then why don't you ask for a raise so you can move out? If they don't give it, why don't you get another job somewhere else and then move out?

From there, why don't you start actually investing time into making your life better? You like making music and want to do it professionally, and if I recall correctly you are into anime and video games and make music that would be suitable for that. So why don't you start looking for freelance gigs making music on odesk.com? In less than 2 minutes I found this job which is something I'm sure you could adjust your skills to create.

Along with that, start offering short music clips for people to use for whatever they want, royalty free, on Fiverr. Why not try offering a unique piano composition that you created for them while speaking whatever message they want over top of it for $5? For just one gig a week you can go out to Starbucks one day with some friends rather than being lonely and depressed in your room in your parents' house.

Hell, offer to do some music for free for small-budget game companies just so you can get professional credit and experience. There are tons of people trying to create their own games right now, especially online MMOs which I'm sure your type of music would be especially suitable for.

With both of these things, you can start making money and getting experience creating music for paying customers and actually feel some self-worth and self-value. From there you might even gain some self-confidence. Maybe after that you start reading some of the blogs I linked above and recognize how to monetize your own talents and website better. This might lead to even better gigs or real jobs doing what you really love.

There are tons of resources out there, often free, to not only motivate you to change your life but show you actionable steps to achieving your dreams. Websites/blogs, books, audio tapes, forums, etc. If there are that many resources, then clearly there are not only people who think like you and don't want to do 'what everyone else does,' but also people who HAVE done it and can show you the way. Stop pitying yourself and crying woe is me, stop acting like the entire world is rigged against you, get off your fucking ass, go chase your dreams, and make life your bitch.
 

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I went through a similar period of disillusionment, and I don't know how well I can convey this, but I will try to offer some advice that has me currently enamored with this world.

This world is beautiful beyond words... but to see its beauty you have to first accept it as it is. Think about meeting a new person. If you always expect a person to be absolutely perfect, to fit an image in your mind's eye, to be a completely ideal person, and instantly judge them for not meeting that ideal, you will never get to see the beauty that is inherently there within them, in their imperfection.

One thing I've learned is that the mind can always think of something better, but "better" is relative. If you lived in some glorious fantasy world, you would probably find yourself bored with it after a while, and perhaps even then you would wish you could live any life on a whim, on any planet, in any realm. If you had this infinite power, to live any life you wanted to, you would, after an incomprehensible amount of time, find yourself exactly where you are right now, would you not?

This world is every bit as alien and mystical as any world you could ever imagine.... you have just gotten so used to it that it seems dull and ordinary to you. It is anything but ordinary, I assure you. We are super-intelligent monkeys living on a rock that is covered in green hair and clear liquid, that is floating in a void filled with shining balls of fire, rocks, and gases in a universe where your sense of up, down, left, and right are entirely relative. We communicate by manipulating air and vibration in our throats and mouths. We live in giant monkey hives we call "cities", and ride mechanical carriages. The entire world, your entire experience, is existing solely in your own head right now. It is being created by your very awareness. We have the power to dream, to imagine, to love, to feeland to be very much aware of all these things as they happen. We are alive right now, imagine the chances of that actually happening!

Could anything truly be more extraordinary than that? It is not the world that is the problem... your thoughts are making you think that the world is a problem. Try meditating, calm your mind. observe the thoughts that are making you unhappy, and see them for what they are. If you can free yourself from the delusional thoughts that fill so many minds, you will see the world with the eyes of a child again.
 

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When are you going to take control of your life and go do the things you want?
I've been on this forum for a month or so, but yes, I do feel like saying this to you as well, @niki. You are stuck, you are very stuck.

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize with your view of humanity, it is sad, it is crappy, it is grey, it is unimaginative, it is unjust, unfair, self-destructive... In short, humanity is not as great as it could be - but nonetheless, as mentioned, there are really beautiful things about humanity as well, as long as you care to find it.

At the risk of you getting mad, I feel this needs to be said - it's unhealthy what you are doing niki. I don't care whether you'll become the next 'normal, average' person or the next 'creative, unique' individual in the end. Who knows, you might become the next Einstein or John Doe (I do reserve the rights to your first autograph, should you become the next Einstein :3 ). But what you are doing to yourself *right now* is not good, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's worried about that.

I've seen how you dote on the existential depression thread, but do you realize you're using it as an excuse? You say that existential depression is an explanation to your life, I would say it is an observation of things that happened in your life. An observation is neutral, whereas an explanation sounds like an excuse to leave things the way they are. I've heard people say so many times "I'm just this" or "I'm wired like that", like saying "I'm just the way I am and nobody's ever gonna change me".

But in actuality, they're saying "I don't want to change".

In actuality, they're scared of change. Or don't know how to.

Your Fi makes you dwell in your negative view on the world (it's okay to be cynical at times, sometimes it's justifiable), and with your Ne you're OCD-ing over what could be better about the world. But on overall, it's not okay, you're in a downwards spiral, a vicious circle, and you've been there for a long time, if what @JerseyDevil says is right. Please don't be a hero and try to find out what is at the bottom of a bottomless pit... It's not worth it.

Get out of it. Start a virtuous circle. It's honestly alright to be scared and it's alright if you don't know where to begin.

Here's a hint. Get rid of the can't-do-mentality, get rid of the it's-no-use-mentality. Give it a shot, and don't give up till you've gotten your first small success.

It will taste so good, you'll want more. ^^
 

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You don't necessarily have to accept the world as it is. There's always something you can do. The conventional life that most people live may be dull (I absolutely agree with you on that one), but it doesn't mean that you have to live up to these conventional expectations. I don't think you said what you would like instead of this dull world. Maybe you should think about that and make things happen. No one can force you to go the "normal" way. People will probably look down on you for it, but that really does not matter.

For example, I personally don't want to go to university after I graduate because I just don't see why. I wouldn't know what to study, I wouldn't know what for. All that really interests me are artistic jobs. I don't want to live this normal life where I go to university, get a job, get married and have kids somewhere along the way and then get retired. I want to write, I want to paint, I want to make music, I don't want to dependent on others. I don't like this whole system either. I haven't quite figured out yet how exactly I am going to be able to do what I love doing and somehow make a living, but I still have some time and I will figure it out.

But enough about me. I guess what I am trying to say is: You need to figure out what you really want out of life and not just what you don't want. Whatever dreams or fantasies you have, try making them come true. And beat the odds. ;)

I hope I could help you at least a little bit. ;)
 

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I'm just wondering recently.. have any of you, especially INFPs, often feel sooo damn 'trapped' in this so-called 'Real world'??..
the thread Existential Depression have often served as perhaps the main basic explanation as to why I often feel that no matter what, these days especially, I often feel like almost everything in this real-world is just so barren, 'dry', and doesn't interest/fulfill me anymore. let alone all those "normal society's" things and expectations such as BIG money, prestige, new car, status, higher company/corporate position, bla bla bla...gosh!

Seriously, this "Law and Order", money-driven real world can be super dull and boring beyond words..
even the most vivid human imaginations are sometimes a HUNDRED times more vivid than this one..
sometimes I wonder if there is God who created/made us, is He (or It, whatever) really 'cruel' as to entrap us within this limited physical body, while some of us, our human's super-vivid imaginations & fantasy-creations (eg: movies, video-games, anime, novels) often make us want to escape the limitation of our body sooo badly!
does God play joke on us?
is there some kind of Cosmic joke being played on us, mere humans??...

and perhaps, my recent search/research into the 'other-worldly' things such as Astral Projection, Astral Travel, OBE, NDE, Quantum Physics, even the whole Ascension, Dimension Shifting, 2012, etc...maybe I just want to 'escape' from this world that I too often can't relate anymore.. sooo badly!

at my 'darkest' hours, sometimes I even thought of shedding my 'cursed' human body & flesh, and just to really *see* what's beyond this 'Limited' earthly world...

so HOW can we therefore remain sane in this so called "normal" (in my dictionary though: super boring, dull, mundane beyond words!) world?...

I hope I"m not alone in feeling all of these...'cuz I think I almost gone insane..!
and fuck "normal society"'s expectations btw (or I'd rather say: super-boring, dull, mundane expectations!).
Take a Philosophy course if you are in college. Or, just borrow a book on it from the library. Sounds like you need to seek some answers about life.

Wish you luck!
 

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I can identify with the whole "my imaginary worlds are better than reality" thing, but the truth is, you can't stay like this. Yes, life and humanity can suck, but there are still good things and people in this life for you to appreciate.

If you want a better life, you're going to have to chase it yourself. Do you want to travel? Save up money and go to a random place or take a job overseas. Get a different job. Go to a group meeting of something you're interested in. You're not going to get anywhere sitting around daydreaming and whining about it, no matter how tempting it is to do so.
 

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(This is a reaaaaaaally long post. My apologies.)

...


@[B]niki[/B],

I know exactly how you feel. I've never felt like I belonged here - I remember experiencing extreme isolation as early as kindergarten, and the feeling has never really gone away. I really do feel trapped in this world. Every night I look up at the millions of stars that are sparkling in the sky over the snowcapped mountains and escape feels so easy, like I can simply spring up into the air and fly away; soaring into the night - but I can't.

I want to live in my world - the haven I've created, comprised of worlds from my favorite novels, movies, television shows, video games, and of course my own imagination. People always say to follow your dreams but what I want more than anything is to fly into the night sky with dragons, or explore alien worlds, or race with wolves through rows of icy mountains. Or travel underwater and swim with sea serpents and gulper eels, or hunt with wildcats in the forest! How in the world will that ever come true?

Hmm maybe I read too much fantasy and sci-fi...*sigh*

I don't really have friends here, or someone to love, or anything even close to that, and I honestly don't think I ever will. Every time I try, I seem to mess something up. So I stop trying. I don't have a job (other than school) due to social anxiety. I struggle constantly in school because I have a really, really hard time concentrating in class and remembering things. People are cruel; they make rude comments to me and laugh at me. This has gone on for years and it will probably never go away. I can hold it in until I get someplace where I can be alone, and then the dam kinda bursts.

How are people satisfied with this world; how can they be happy with all this pain and sadness around them?

I really hate how this world works, and the jokes people make about getting old, turning out just like your parents, or love dying out quickly after marriage. That sort of thing just makes me sick. I want to go to a world where there is kindness and where love never dies out; where people take care of each other and never hurt anyone.

/self-pitying tirade, sorry about that :p Basically what I'm trying to say is, I promise you that you're not the only one going through this. :)

niki, you seem so intelligent, imaginative, and creative, and you have a good heart. :] This may be why you are having such a hard time - you want so much more than what's in this world because you see everything that can be as opposed to what is, and I feel exactly the same way. And you recognize another very important thing - that money isn't important; it's not what you should live for.

...You need to find some sort of outlet to express your creativity. Why do you think so many writers, artists, animators, game designers, and so forth are so passionate about their work? Maybe they aren't satisfied with this world either. Find a way to amalgamate fantasy with your reality. Write novels. That's what I do. Show people your fantasy world and everything you wish could be. It will help make real life a little bit more bearable.

For me, at least, experiencing real life actually helps me improve my imagination. This world is mostly broken, ugly, and terrible, but there is still beauty here. It's never beautiful enough, at least for me, but maybe experiencing fun things here will help you feel a bit better. :) Have you seen how pretty the lights of the city can be? Or watched fireworks explode over the ocean? Fantasy is so much better, I agree, but there are enjoyable things here too.

In running we have a strategy for when you're tired out. Basically, you pick one landmark to run to, and tell yourself that that's where you'll stop. But you have to keep running until you get there. And once you do get there, if you're able to keep going, you pick another landmark and try your best to make it there without stopping.

Real life is the same way. Try to find one thing; one hope to hold onto, and use that to get you through the day. I promise you that you will find something that will bring joy into your life.

I've never belonged here, and I never will. I am quite literally an alien. As silly as it sounds, I like to believe that one day a rocket will land here, lighting up the night sky, and they'll take me to where I truly belong. But for now, I just try my best. I mess up a lot, and I don't feel like I'm doing very well. But every night I get into bed and think wow, I've survived another day.

Why did God make this world such a terrible place? So we can learn to overcome challenges and hardships, and dream of a better life after this one. He does care about you, and knows exactly what you're feeling. /sorry religious rant XD

Whoa, crap, I wrote a novel o_O Sorry about that! In short, real world vs. imaginary world?

I vote imaginary world. ^^

Just keep trying. Don't you ever lose hope. And you can always PM/VM me if you need someone to talk to. :)
 

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I replied to you in another thread a while ago, but if you don't mind I'd like to kind of repeat myself:

Stop doing this to yourself. Seriously, stop it.

You're using the INFP label as a crutch. You're using this forum without any regard for other INFPs who have attempted to help you and who are STILL helping you. The sad thing is that even when I and Jersey Devil are saying this to you, you're going to ignore everything we say and continue posting these long, ranting threads. This isn't the first time you've posted a thread like this. It isn't even the second, third, or even fourth time. This is like the zillionth time. I mean, this is like almost every freaking time for how long?? If you need to get your frustrations out, go find a real-life hobby like wrestling with a punching bag or something like that. We are not your sounding board.

You know, you're lucky to have your family's business at least as a back-up. Goddamn, how I would love to have such a fabulous back-up plan. Why not save up your money, find a new job, and get out? I mean, what the hell is stopping you? You DO have the option, don't you? And don't give me that BS excuse about your Asian family values. Yo, I'm Korean, so I know ALLLLL about the bullshit, please-my-parents mentality; I know it all too well. I went through the same thing you did, and I dare say that my problems with my parents were probably much more serious than yours. But you know what? Even I had to put my foot down somewhere and tell them to fuck off. My brother did it, my sister did it, we all did it. Yes, it was EXTREMELY painful, needlessly so. But growing up means that you have to maintain personal boundaries even against your own parents. DO IT, DAMMIT!

Stop being so comfortable. Push yourself. Nobody else is going to do it for you. I'm not gonna respond to any more of your threads again if they say the same damn thing. Sorry, but you gotta get your act together, niki.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
thank you for all the replies, guys
I have to honestly say though: that there're truly only few people who do seem to 'get it' of what I meant by this thread..
but nevertheless, I do still thankful for all the replies here, including those "very practical advices" which I honestly didn't see it coming initially.

For all the 'practical advices', thank you...I'll give a serious thought about 'em.
But especially for those few people who do 'get it' completely of what I'm talking here, I also am thankful,
at least you've made me feel less...alone, in this 'cursed limited' human's world..
 

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For better or worse, I've spent plenty of time in my own imagination, sometimes enjoying that more than anything the real world had to offer me.

But the bottom line is that there is only one place that you can live your life - and that's in reality. Being imaginative is a cool quality to have but don't mistake fantasizing for living.

What I'm learning right now (and for the last several years) is that if you want the things from your dreams to populate your reality you're going to have to do things that scare you or make you uncomfortable in the real world. Doing those things tends to open up doors for me that weren't there before.

Don't waste all of your time and energy living inside your head. :)
 

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Realities is grey, that why we can give it a color. That why for me, human can seek the color in the world and then paint it with it. That why there are fiction. The fiction gives color to the world, people can paint with it. Even thou is it is not a magic pill. But after reading good book, the reader can get spirit of possibilities in the world.
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For me, the Fantasy world and the real have his own meaning. If the world is perfect, what the use of fantasy? Because the world is like a Canvas, we can paint in it. Think about it, in the world with all sound is exist naturally, there are no musician. In world of all Image there is no painter. And to paint, we need this flesh body.
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I think I have been go there, go thru the deep of the deep, and will not stop until find the end. I study philosophy in college and I very-very philosophic. I go to the deep and, it look like endless. I don't say you cant go down there, because interesting there, but you must be careful so you don't hurt yourself down there. I think the best way, is keep balance. Because of my experience it can be hard and long way. In Chakra knowledge, maybe the diagnosis is your upper chakra is open, but your lower chakra is not. You need more down to earth activities, walk in nature, connect to earth. Not like I chakra doctor or something.
--
I realize the real question is this
"so HOW can we therefore remain sane in this so called "normal" (in my dictionary though: super boring, dull, mundane beyond words!) world?..."
I can only give my own perspective.
- Find interesting thing, and get obsessed about it. World is full of weird thing like fish rain or frog rain. Open the world. The world and its people, even law of physic is craaaaazy.
- Watch art. Art is not limited on museum. It is music, sitcom, tvseries, anime, child show, comic, give it a try.
- Read philosophy. But what is crazy and not actually?
- Meditation.
- pray.
- Creation. Do something. If possible find community. Learn, cry the critique and prize the compliment.
- Sex!?
- If other fail/ unattainable at least you go to PerC.
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But actually who is me telling this? I don't think I have beautiful perfect stable life nor an stable person. yup that just me... haha. Other may have better advice.
 

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Most of my posts are usually verbose and heartfelt, but not only am I not the best person to be giving advice in this situation (as I relate all too well), others have said anything I could have had to say better than I probably could in this instance. Not only that, but I have known niki for quite some time, and I know of both his talents and his recurrent despair. So instead, I will simply express my own feelings and opinions.

Having had the opportunity to do a few different things while working in this job, I've come to a realisation - the world is essentially what you make of it. No, really. I think sometimes it is very easy to spend so much time in your comfort zone, surrounded by familiar things, living a stable existence, that you lose the ability to perceive anything outside of that. No matter how vivid your imagination is - and I don't think mine's all that bad - it has to use something as its source material. Things you've seen, felt, thought, said, relished, regretted - no matter how creatively that can be synthesised and reinterpreted, you can't conceive of something you can't conceive of... if you get what I mean.

Sometimes all it takes is a little trip away, something different... a train trip to an unknown location, a break away in a hotel, just something to break that routine up. If you allow yourself to break out of the confines of the reality you think you know and really take in what you are doing consciously, you will realise that however much you think you know the world, there is always something more to know. The only thing you know is your part of the world - the mistake comes in believing that the part of the world you know constitutes the whole world. Indeed, perhaps many people who live in 'surface reality' enjoy that confinement, but I find it repugnant.

However, when I think of the sustained hard work that would be required in order to live one of those extravagant lives, I just don't know sometimes. Perhaps I am missing out in some ways... when I look at those inspirational people, no matter the respect and envy I feel, I always wonder to myself what lies behind that image. It's very possible that I am just making excuses for myself and I am simply in denial of the reality that is my own inability to surrender these comforting surroundings, but I also value having time to myself and spending it in the ways I want, no matter how seemingly petty. Maybe at some point in the future things will change, but as long as I remain receptive to that change then I will be satisfied in myself.

The one thing I will admit to is loneliness. The Internet has really been the only way I have been able to speak with like minds. If I had a few more intimate friends then I think I could retain some amount of fulfilment no matter what I do or where I go. It would be so much more reassuring to go on adventures with companions by my side, however much of a loner I am seen to be. Even though I have that awful habit of withdrawing from people when they don't deserve it and nothing is wrong. It's like I'm my own worst enemy sometimes, diametrically opposed within myself. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore so I'll just post anyway.
 
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