Reasons Why We Want What We Can't Have

1611 Views 15 Replies 11 Participants Last post by doublejm1, Dec 21, 2013

doublejm1

Discussion Starter · Aug 11, 2013

Just wanted to share this article on why we want what we can't have:

Reasons Why We Want What We Can't Have

It argues that we're always driven to want something more, especially when it concerns material possessions. That brand new watch loses its appeal real fast; before we know it, we're angling for a shiny necklace.

I think this explains, in part, why so many of us have the urge to "keep up with the Joneses." Instead of thinking that we already have more than so many people out there, we harp on the fact that others have more than us -- thus, we yearn for that which is unobtainable, or above our means.

What's your take on this? Is it possible for us to reach a point where we're content with the material possessions we own, or do we have an innate need to always strive for something better?

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doublejm1

Discussion Starter · #2 · Aug 19, 2013

Any thoughts?

Schweeeeks

· #3 · Aug 19, 2013

Things look, taste and feel far better in our imagination than they do in real life.
After you get what you want, reality sinks in and you find out how much of your desire was just an illusion.

It's easy to take stuff for granted. Falls to the background and you think nothing of it.
We seem to be hardwired to want bigger, better, faster versions of everything around us. It's a strength, but very bad if you direct it to a place like your love life or other people's opinions of you (aka factors which you have no control over).

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Dauntless

· #4 · Aug 19, 2013

I am the unusual in that I could care less what others want - "Keeping up with the Joneses" has never been something plaguing me, for all I saw was the debt and misery that resulted from it...

And memento mori leads me to less material things, not more.

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Schweeeeks

· #5 · Aug 19, 2013

Somewhat related:

The problem, said Kelly McGonigal, author of the “The Willpower Instinct” (Avery, 2011) and a health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, is that there is a disconnect between how we think of ourselves now and how we think of ourselves in the future.

“It’s not that you have to believe you’ll have all the same likes and dislikes you have now, but you have to believe you have the same sense of self,” Dr. McGonigal said. “The future you is just as you as you are right now.”

Brain scans, she said, have shown that there are regions of the brain that activate when we think about other people, and other regions that activate when we think about ourselves.

In cases where people don’t feel much connection to their future selves, the areas of the brain that light up when they are asked to think about themselves in the future are — guess what? — the same ones as when they think about other people.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/25/b...d-to-break-shortcuts.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

I think a lot of people over-estimate what it feels like to get what you want. And the harder you have to work for it, the more time you have to dream up all sorts of things. "If I had this ONE thing, I would finally be happy."

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xlr8r

· #6 · Aug 19, 2013

I would say, when we want what we can have, we get it, so the task is accomplished. This leaves out what we can not have.

WolfStar

· #7 · Aug 20, 2013

Yeah, stop being consumed by consumerism. Done.

Azelll

· #8 · Aug 23, 2013

well personally I want what i cant have mainly on the basis that I want to experience the said thing that I cant have, the more its unattainable the more you wanna experience it good or bad, prefer good over bad who doesn't. also its a goal oriented subject as humans i believe we strive to complete things and when there is an unattainable thing you want to attain it to complete it, its much like in our DNA to do so it seem, you want it because you haven't had it the said goal is to get it when you do finally get it you feel completed thus the desire for the attained item diminishes because there is no in experiencing something you already experience and completed.

doublejm1

Discussion Starter · #9 · Sep 17, 2013

Moop said:
Somewhat related:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/25/b...d-to-break-shortcuts.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

I think a lot of people over-estimate what it feels like to get what you want. And the harder you have to work for it, the more time you have to dream up all sorts of things. "If I had this ONE thing, I would finally be happy."

Very interesting insight.

Bear987

· #10 · Sep 17, 2013

I am not sure about this. As for material things, I'd like to have less stuff and slightly less expensive stuff than the people around me. That way, I don't stand out and I will not be robbed - at least not before those around me are. Possessions drag me down.

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Kingpin

· #11 · Sep 20, 2013

because we can't have them

Vic

· #12 · Sep 20, 2013

Who says I can't have what I want? Besides that annoying little voice that serves to squash hopes and dreams.

doublejm1

Discussion Starter · #13 · Oct 18, 2013

Vic said:
Who says I can't have what I want? Besides that annoying little voice that serves to squash hopes and dreams.

Yup, a voice that tortures us all.

toma

· #14 · Oct 18, 2013

Because we are greedy little gremlins..lol.

Damagedfinger

· #15 · Nov 1, 2013

Because you want to prove to people that they can't put limits to what we can't own.

It can also mean, were not grateful for what we have and want what others have.

doublejm1

Discussion Starter · #16 · Dec 21, 2013

Bear987 said:
I am not sure about this. As for material things, I'd like to have less stuff and slightly less expensive stuff than the people around me. That way, I don't stand out and I will not be robbed - at least not before those around me are. Possessions drag me down.

I'm the same way. I'm the farthest thing from a gaudy individual. I like to keep it simple. It's too bad that so many people out there don't share this sentiment.

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