well i guess this is better so other people can participate too?
ok, so first, im an enfj and sx so. (i think its relevant)
ive previously suspected to be a 4w3, and it was my first idea when i got into enneagram. but these descriptions about them living in a fantasy.. i dont relate, at all.
what people have called me: a thinker, calm (3 times at least), nuclear physicist, ingenious, old soul, a normal guy (ok, what the hell? =S) a lot of compliments centered around how proper my life style is, coming from an estj explaining me to another, talkative, fucking gay,
i also have this ability to feel other peoples super ego, and it surprises me how strong super ego's people have. mine is more like inexistent. i rarely care to pay any attention to it, seems so pointless.
here are some experiences i think ive assimilated correctly: good 8w7 mood, loves everyone, radiates strength/compassion (a very rare state.) good 5w4 mood, fascinated by an emotional/intellectual/philosophical look out at life, looks at everything like it was magical. good 4w3 mood, pretends shy to avoid uneasy emotional connections to people, silly, lively, childish, deeply emotionally melodramatic.
something else: my charming mode, where i like to smile at people i talk to. old soul mode, just content with everything, super relaxed, feels like i had seen everything this existence has to offer. neurotic mode, must do do and do things like spend time in the internet. something just bothers me and i dont want to face it. presence of other people calms me from it. (an extrovert going insane from loneliness? perhaps! xD)
i think im decently good in gathering data, but my inferior ti just makes it impossible for me to actually make conclusions of it.
then theres this graph:http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm98/undesired367/percentagenounknown-2.png
i just noticed, that the "rarity" of certain enneas amongst types strongly correlates with the stereotypes of each type. this combined with my experience, that i seem to meet all enneas of all types of people, leads me to the conclusion, that its just the stereotypes that make it harder to find yourself if you arent the stereotype of your type. the only pattern that statistics seem to correlate with my experience is with infj's being majority fours, 4 out of 7 ive met were fours. at every other type, my personal statistics are directly at odds with the one up there.
so as much as id love to be a special rare snowflake, i just dont think the statistics match in reality at all.
other relevant details: ive spent all of my time for the past few years "studying" psychology by spending time at forums such as this. it seems more of an addiction than somehting with actual results.. i also occasionally focus on developing my artist skills such as singing and playing synthesizer and whistling. like 4 days a month. and the rest on typology. ive also made a strategy change, since "learning" doesnt lead anywhere, ive started analyzing what i can learn from actual people. such as building structure of them to help me keep from succumbing to madness. im pretty antisocial, i dont see much point at all in socializing. i do enjoy it, but it usually leaves me feeling bitter for wasting my time.
i love efficacing things, finding the most efficient ways of doing everything is one of my past time hobbies, which helps me to cope with my inexistent Sp instinct. its like a sport to me.
topics i like to talk about: philosophy, religion, typology. ill pretty much talk of these with anyone and everyone, translating it into their language as necessary. uh, this makes me kind of shameful, i wish i spoke of more versatile things. perhaps i should expand my horizon onto peoples likes?
my past hobbies before typology addiction: game addiction, chatting who knows what with people through microphones, reading fanfiction, reading wikipedia(still occasionally do, but the viewpoint of "relevant" data in it is pretty useless.), modding games and feeling emotions for the music i listen. (these days i rarely if ever feel emotions, other than frustration.)
when i want to be some way, i convince myself that is the way i am and i believe in it wholeheartedly.
my current idea of my tritype: 5w4, 4w3, 8w7
potentially misleading traits: every sx so gets super pseudo-rational when unhealthy.(like sometimes when people stand in my path, i crush them with sheer intense intellect rationale. you know, like that serial killer hate in my eyes and the stance of an angry intellect.) and silly/lively when healthy.
then the questtionaire form..
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
id like to say, the only thing i really value are emotions. but i have a lot of problems so i have no time for them.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
a perfect self understanding and that of others.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
avoid: stupidity, dullness, repetition, prejudice, selflessness, ..
be: original, intelligent, emotional, responsible, stable lifestyle, understanding of others, uhh.. is this boring? =|
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
physical flaws. such as permanent injuries.(they just destroy my motivation to life, i want a perfect body.) loving others, cause they might die. being emotional, because it makes me liable to being abused for not knowing how to defend myself. and because i might judge something wrong, therefore my emotions might be wrong. wasting my life doing repetitive things, and dying before i was ready to enjoy it. living a life without novel romance.(would be too sad.) boring others. (i dont want to be a nuisance). spiders, because theyre SO SCAARYY! joking! =)
brains being damaged, and being unable to kill myself or not knowing i wasnt the best i shouldve been. (i want my thoughts to flow efficiently, who doesnt?)
not having exceptional imaginative abilities, thus life being too dull.
confusion. because its so painful to not know something, it wrecks everything up and i become psychotic, losing my sense of reality. it feels like im dropping out of reality, into an unpredictable chaos. i just lose all sense of direction, no idea what to do, and the only thing im aware of is that i dont understand anything at all.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
i see myself as a formula, an equation of definable attributes.
others? UHH.. i dont care? anything is fine. or anything but normal. fascinating? playful? =|
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
best: being emotional.
worst: thoughts not flowing smoothly, being a zombie, and not experiencing deep emotions.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a) calmly, i just allow it to boil out as i examine it, and if i believe something has to be done about it, nothing and no one will stand in my way for long.
b) its something i find very pleasurous. its one of my favourite emotions.
c) an obsessional need to occupy myself with anything to distract myself, such as time on internet, pounding my chest, meowing like a cat, and other silly things.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) push myself to my limits, no matter what happens. at my worst, i ended up sleeping 18 hours each day, taking shower, eating, and going back to sleep and repeating, because i had exhausted myself completely.
b) disappointment, for having been too impulsive and not considering everything out first.
c) get into analytical mode, figure the problem out, and fix it. or if im not feeling well, then i just crush my opposition with intensity.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) mixed feelings, i understad they have noble goals, but agitated with how none of that works in practice, so i end up being in opposition to them.
b) everyone has power, i dont see the relevance of an attribute that everyone posesses.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
we are slaves, bilogical machines, who use computing power to operate themselves. we have the illusion of free will, but in real, none of it exists, we are exactly the way we were programmed.
humanity: annoyance and love. i hate them for the stupid reckless things they do which destroy lives of others, but deep down i love them regardless.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
my favourite sense, hearing, got permanently damaged by my mother's dogs barking. i have constant ringing and pain in my ears, it destroyed all of my hopes on ever achieving that perfect life, so i went all manic and even forgot all of my memories. and now, im trying to gain an access to my own head again, to stop being an empty shell.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
i used to trust everyone, now i trust very few, because they all do unexpected things.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
a) my beauty, im most certainly the most charming and beautiful person on planet earth, ive never seen anyone like myself. and at times, i can be very intellective.
b) stupidity, focusing on all the wrong things instead of realizing what i really should do.
14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
i tend to think, what i see should be obvious to everyone. but here i go: their life purpose.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
a) id want to laugh, but i dont want to risk being attacked.
b) everyone who has complimented me, i knew well enough to not call them strangers.
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) whatever the way i am, i like it, and when i look at other people, it makes me disgusted to think if i was anything like them.
b) a humanity which isnt evil. analyzing others for my safety is SOOOOOOOOOOO TIIIIRRESSSOOOOME! =_=
EDIT; and on that enfj thing.. scrap it, i dont have adequate evidence to choose between the two nfj's.
Right here works doesn't it? For the time being? Just for animal to look at?