Hi INFJs, I need some advice.
I had a close INFJ online friend, but I betrayed her trust. We've known each other for seven years; I was extremely important to her - she put me on a pedestal and that was distressing, so a few months before that I opened up and explained the situation to her. I kept that and a lot of other things to myself for a long time because, even though she wanted me to be honest, every time I told her something she didn't like, no matter how tactful I was or how much I reassured her, she ended up crying and thinking she was a horrible person. Now I realize my mistake and I'm afraid it's too late to fix it.
She introduced me to another friend of hers, an ENFP, and we got along very well. My INFJ friend was upset even though I didn't neglect her at all and she was also very jealous - she didn't want me to talk with her friend because she didn't want to be replaced. She was constantly in a bad mood, she was very clingy and talking to her was distressful and suffocating. Moreover, I felt like she had disregarded a core value of mine, and I couldn't force myself to see her as a good person anymore.
So one day I told her I didn't want to talk to her anymore. I told her I didn't like her behavior, I was hurt, I needed to be free and so on, and I was ready to say goodbye forever. But she called me, she told me I was the most important person in her life, she told me she would change, I heard her crying and I couldn't manage to ignore that, so I gave her another chance.
However, I was still too resentful towards her. A month later we had an argument. I was very, very angry. And I told her a lot of horrible things. "You're a horrible person", "you are unable to accept people who are different from you", "you don't deserve to be happy". Things like that.
I didn't hear her for weeks. Then, slowly, I realized I was a monster. I know I deserve this, I know I'm responsible, but I miss her so much, I've changed and I will never do anything like that again.
It's been four months. I'm trying to show her I care about her and I've told her I'm sorry a thousand times, both with my actions and my words. But most of the time she ignores me, and when she doesn't she tells me she couldn't care less.
Any tips?
Please, don't tell me I'm an insensitive jerk. I already know that. Thank you.
Sorry for my bad English.
I had a close INFJ online friend, but I betrayed her trust. We've known each other for seven years; I was extremely important to her - she put me on a pedestal and that was distressing, so a few months before that I opened up and explained the situation to her. I kept that and a lot of other things to myself for a long time because, even though she wanted me to be honest, every time I told her something she didn't like, no matter how tactful I was or how much I reassured her, she ended up crying and thinking she was a horrible person. Now I realize my mistake and I'm afraid it's too late to fix it.
She introduced me to another friend of hers, an ENFP, and we got along very well. My INFJ friend was upset even though I didn't neglect her at all and she was also very jealous - she didn't want me to talk with her friend because she didn't want to be replaced. She was constantly in a bad mood, she was very clingy and talking to her was distressful and suffocating. Moreover, I felt like she had disregarded a core value of mine, and I couldn't force myself to see her as a good person anymore.
So one day I told her I didn't want to talk to her anymore. I told her I didn't like her behavior, I was hurt, I needed to be free and so on, and I was ready to say goodbye forever. But she called me, she told me I was the most important person in her life, she told me she would change, I heard her crying and I couldn't manage to ignore that, so I gave her another chance.
However, I was still too resentful towards her. A month later we had an argument. I was very, very angry. And I told her a lot of horrible things. "You're a horrible person", "you are unable to accept people who are different from you", "you don't deserve to be happy". Things like that.
I didn't hear her for weeks. Then, slowly, I realized I was a monster. I know I deserve this, I know I'm responsible, but I miss her so much, I've changed and I will never do anything like that again.
It's been four months. I'm trying to show her I care about her and I've told her I'm sorry a thousand times, both with my actions and my words. But most of the time she ignores me, and when she doesn't she tells me she couldn't care less.
Any tips?
Please, don't tell me I'm an insensitive jerk. I already know that. Thank you.
Sorry for my bad English.