[Adasta]

Hello Fi brethren,

My interest is in the interplay between your Te and Fi. Just to recap:

INFP: Fi, Ne, Si, Te
INTJ: Ni, Te, Fi, Se

You'll notice that for INFPs, Fi and Te are poles apart, but for INTJs they are much closer. My question then is, since you can at least recognise the onset of emotions even if you don't necessarily "understand" them, how do you ensure they remain "subservient" to your Dom and Aux functions?

I suppose neater questions might be: how do you remain objective in the face of Fi? How do you rationalise its effects? How do you ensure you continue to meet life objectives while affected by Fi?

 

[Perhaps]

In plain English: there are things to be done despite how silly I may feel about them. I recognize that my emotional states aren't sacred and unique and thus do not place them on the pedestal of my existence and expect everyone else to worship at the altar with me.

In cog. functions-speak: Ni allows me to see a bigger picture than the one I could easily choose to focus on if I directed all of my attention inward. Se provides a constant undercurrent of environmental feedback to feed it. Te analyses, translates, streamlines it in a way I can fit into one of my pre-existing models for how the world works or allows me to build a new one. Fi chimes in with how I ultimately feel about these ideas, their worth and value to me personally.

 

[tooboku]

This thread...

http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/62114-fi-thread-expose-your-gooey-insides-here.html


The thing with INTJs and Fi is that we're so heavily focused on the other two dominant functions that it tends to go unnoticed. We don't realize it but we use Fi a lot despite how much more obviously Te manifests itself. So, when an Fi crisis comes along, our natural instinct is to dismiss it because we're not used to dealing with it. In truth though, we're not really different from everyone else. If other people can deal with their feelings, so can we. The problem lies in focus. Instead of dismissing our feelings, we should just acknowledge them. After being accepted, resolution comes pretty quickly.

ie. I thought I would need at least two months to get over the last girl. It's been a week and I feel okay. I thought I was going to be hung up for quite a while but it was just a matter of recognizing that I was probably in love with this girl and that was okay. I don't need to validate her feelings for me nor do I need to win her over. In the long run, we can be friends again and I can actually be with someone that gets my dark-misanthrope-sarcastic sense of humor and not just the puns about science. I can be with someone who sings like a dream and won't embarass me if we go out to eat somewhere where the menu doesn't have prices. I can be someone I can dream with.

 

[beth x]

In plain English: there are things to be done despite how silly I may feel about them. I recognize that my emotional states aren't sacred and unique and thus do not place them on the pedestal of my existence and expect everyone else to worship at the altar with me.

In cog. functions-speak: Ni allows me to see a bigger picture than the one I could easily choose to focus on if I directed all of my attention inward. Se provides a constant undercurrent of environmental feedback to feed it. Te analyses, translates, streamlines it in a way I can fit into one of my pre-existing models for how the world works or allows me to build a new one. Fi chimes in with how I ultimately feel about these ideas, their worth and value to me personally.

What she said. I can remove myself and my feelings (which don't make sense) from the picture to get things done. I tend to them later and pore over them to figure what they mean so I can continue to ignore them.

It's there all the time like the humming of a sort of moral generator in the background. I need the morals to make sense if I am to act on them.

If I simply can't contain myself and feel I have to act on my feelings then I take a nap....time out for Ms Deth.

 

[Adasta]

I need further explication on these points. Currently, I think I only understand them prima facie:

Ni allows me to see a bigger picture

What criteria govern this "bigger picture"? Or perhaps, what validates your bigger picture as correct and worthy of consideration/pursuit?

I can remove myself and my feelings (which don't make sense) from the picture to get things done.

What is driving you to "get things done"? What are the motivating factors?

 

[beth x]

What is driving you to "get things done"? What are the motivating factors?

I think it might be Te. Te organises and schedules. I guess that priorities are to get through the day, not make an ass of yourself (or embarrass yourself) by throwing a wobbly, be able to function doing things that you need to do (ie stop and get groceries, feed the pets, kids etc, tell the bedtime story) then tend to these things that are called feelings. It's done in private so you can make sense of how they fit in, how you can do better, what your next move is. It's just a matter of processing but in the order that makes the most sense.

 

[Perhaps]

I need further explication on these points. Currently, I think I only understand them prima facie:



What criteria govern this "bigger picture"? Or perhaps, what validates your bigger picture as correct and worthy of consideration/pursuit?

The complex interplay between various systems which determine the way the world works, as they impact my immediate surrounding and circumstances on all levels. I recognize that I'm no more than a very small part of the whole, so even though my feelings and values are important to me, they are not deemed significant in the grand scheme of things. That's what I meant by "bigger picture," and hopefully illustrates the constraints imposed on Fi by Te. My emotions are attended to, but in private, and when other obligations have been met. It really is a matter of priority.

 

[Alysaria]

Fi is like a little buddy chilling out on your shoulder who defines the values of right and wrong. How you would identify the concept of "Justice" is an exercise in Fi.

Other Fi exercises involve looking at scenarios that have non-logical factors. Like rescuing a child in a zombie apocalypse situation. If the risk is minimal (the child is unharmed, quietly in shock from sheer terror, and within easy reach to get to safety) and practicality is not an issue (you have excess rations and enough room in your secure fortress that could easily be shared with the child for the length of the plague), it comes down to Fi to make the decision. Unknown variables like the child's usual behavior cannot be accounted for in that moment.

 

[White River]

I recognize that I'm no more than a very small part of the whole, so even though my feelings and values are important to me, they are not deemed significant in the grand scheme of things.

This is a good explanation. If I've worked out a logical plan, but some subjective personal feeling is getting in the way, I know that the logic is sound so I will proceed and the feelings will resolve themselves eventually.

The only time it becomes a problem is when a situation doesn't seem to have a logical answer or long term goal attached to it - then Fi basically seems to run rampant over everything else.

 

[Coonsy]

I recognize that I have Fi, but most of the time I simply acknowledge it and move on. There are times I will make decisions and choices while ignoring what my emotional reaction is - even going against my emotional reaction, hence my stance that I typically do not make emotionally charged decisions. There are also times when I logically allow my Fi to rule my decision making process - the amount of money I'm spending on motorcycles and trackdays is the perfect example. Logically, and only from a Te perspective, it's rather silly, but it's an emotional, stress relieving, and "feeling alive" activity for me that I am very dedicated to. I'm well aware that my Fi is a factor here, and it's one of those situations where I can make Te and Fi work, at least in my own mind (and what else really maters?).

I honestly have no idea how to deal with my Fi when it tries to overwhelm me (say, PMS gets added in). I'm at a loss during those situations, because no matter how much my head says one thing, Fi tries to argue loudly with Te and they simply won't get along. I want to go with my Te, but my Fi makes my life a living hell in the meantime....thankfully these bouts are usually short lived and only last a day or two at most, but they do get annoying. My world is unbalanced when Fi is overwhelming Te. I try to avoid making any real decisions during these times, at least not if it's something that I have any sort of emotional connection to.