So my intj best friend from high school finally "ungave" me the cold shoulder and contacted me finally. She said that she regrets thinking poorly of me for so long ( very vague description but I don't feel comfortable just posting around what she wrote for me) and doesn't want to remember our time together poorly (and that she wants to be able to look back and think well of us).
I had began to reply to her, when I started realizing some things that were true, but ugly. and I'm kinda torn between writing those things (that could potentially set her back on her path to hating me) and just saying that I do care about her and I'm sorry (which is true but has some serious omission involved)
Anyway, my question is: If you were in her position, what would you rather have? Harmony or the truth?
- "yes I know, I'm so sorry about everything. and I know that I can never take any of it back but I hope we can move forward from this."
OR
- "Yes I know, and I'm sorry but we had some serious problems that cannot be ignored. and my feelings and our bond diminished a long time ago."
(The second option is an overstatement btw).
I understand that some people just need closure and it doesn't matter what really happened and that they just need to get over it but some people place a lot of value on the truth, no matter how shitty it makes you feel. but what would you rather have?
I had began to reply to her, when I started realizing some things that were true, but ugly. and I'm kinda torn between writing those things (that could potentially set her back on her path to hating me) and just saying that I do care about her and I'm sorry (which is true but has some serious omission involved)
Anyway, my question is: If you were in her position, what would you rather have? Harmony or the truth?
- "yes I know, I'm so sorry about everything. and I know that I can never take any of it back but I hope we can move forward from this."
OR
- "Yes I know, and I'm sorry but we had some serious problems that cannot be ignored. and my feelings and our bond diminished a long time ago."
(The second option is an overstatement btw).
I understand that some people just need closure and it doesn't matter what really happened and that they just need to get over it but some people place a lot of value on the truth, no matter how shitty it makes you feel. but what would you rather have?