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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all,

I am another of the lot confused between INFP and INFJ... around a decade ago I tested INFJ, now from the past few years (whenever I revisit this topic!!), I test as INFP... During this time's revisit, I discovered and researched the Cognitive Functions... I test this way... Fi - Ni - Si - Ne - Ti - Te - Fe - Se though I think the tests ask questions in strange ways, so I'm not sure I go by it... though Fi and Ni as high seem right..but anyway I thought it better to understand the Cognitive Functions well rather than go by type or tests...

So a question for the INFJs here, how do you experience Fe? I have read the bit about people being unable to separate their emotions from others. Let me describe to you something I used to feel, and mentioned to my INFP friend once.. I used to feel like I always start mirroring people around me... so if they are positive, calm etc, I would be too. If they were insecure, negative.. I used to become that way too.. When this realization hit me, I thought it was rather horrible... and have been working on "being me" without overly getting affected...and been trying to surround myself with more positivity...
is this what is you mean by "unable to separate one's emotion from others"? Is that a typical Fe behaviour?
 

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Hello all,

I am another of the lot confused between INFP and INFJ... around a decade ago I tested INFJ, now from the past few years (whenever I revisit this topic!!), I test as INFP... During this time's revisit, I discovered and researched the Cognitive Functions... I test this way... Fi - Ni - Si - Ne - Ti - Te - Fe - Se though I think the tests ask questions in strange ways, so I'm not sure I go by it... though Fi and Ni as high seem right..but anyway I thought it better to understand the Cognitive Functions well rather than go by type or tests...

So a question for the INFJs here, how do you experience Fe? I have read the bit about people being unable to separate their emotions from others. Let me describe to you something I used to feel, and mentioned to my INFP friend once.. I used to feel like I always start mirroring people around me... so if they are positive, calm etc, I would be too. If they were insecure, negative.. I used to become that way too.. When this realization hit me, I thought it was rather horrible... and have been working on "being me" without overly getting affected...and been trying to surround myself with more positivity...
is this what is you mean by "unable to separate one's emotion from others"? Is that a typical Fe behaviour?
It depends what the reason for it is. If what you're describing is based on the experience of taking others' emotions or energy into yourself. If that's the case, I can say that both myself (INFJ) and my mate (INFP) have experienced such things, though in different ways. In other words, it might be a separate category from cognitive processes/what MBTI can pinpoint.

Could you say more about the actual experience, what goes on in you when this happens and what you've been doing to work on being you without getting overly affected?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
yea, taking other's energy into myself is what i'm talking about... but perhaps as you say, it has nothing to do with MBTI.. I never particularly thought it did.. but when I came across INFJs describing being unable to separate their emotions from other's, I thought maybe perhaps it did..
I tried to detach myself from people to know what/who I am exactly.. but alongside all this were some other life crisis I was facing, so maybe all this has nothing to do with MBTI at all...
I'm not sure quite how to explain...

If I may ask...how do you and your INFP mate differ in taking other's energies and emotions? i've read the sympathy Vs empathy discussion... I have read that INFP's experience by imagining themselves in someone's place... but isn't that what empathy is anyway...
 

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yea, taking other's energy into myself is what i'm talking about... but perhaps as you say, it has nothing to do with MBTI.. I never particularly thought it did.. but when I came across INFJs describing being unable to separate their emotions from other's, I thought maybe perhaps it did..
At the very least, I don't think this capacity would be a way to determine one's type.

If I may ask...how do you and your INFP mate differ in taking other's energies and emotions? i've read the sympathy Vs empathy discussion... I have read that INFP's experience by imagining themselves in someone's place... but isn't that what empathy is anyway...
I keep forgetting to ask her for a firsthand description - hopefully I can answer anyway.

She's described herself as a "conduit," so in her case think of a being that is, at some level, built like a channel. Other people's energy and emotion is like water flowing into a channel. Ideally it flows in and through and out, but I don't think it worked that way for her when she was younger. I think it affected her a LOT. She was surrounded by people who were not especially well (energetically and emotionally) and I think she felt like she would get dragged down with them if she allowed this situation to continue. In her early adulthood, she moved to disconnect herself from the most direct or intense aspects of what I would call the web of interconnection with those around her. It was around that time that her cognitive function stack really solidified, if I understand correctly. My observation is that being a judging (Fi) dominant has functioned to help protect her from the inflow from others as it acts like a filter.

I, on the other hand, didn't consciously realize I do this until a few years ago when I was very close to someone and would come home from time with her and feel a lot of pain and sadness and depression. It took me a while to get that while I was feeling this stuff in my body as if it was mine, it actually wasn't, it was hers and the closeness had forged a bond that brought it into me. And then it happened with another person, again someone I was extremely close to and I began to pay attention. And at that time, I remembered an experience I had when I was a kid. I was in a bus station and I was looking around at all these people and very clearly thinking to myself that I could feel that they each had their own subjectivity, inner worlds, and then I realized that almost everyone there was carrying pretty substantial pain at some level and thought very clearly to myself that if I allowed myself to be open to feeling that, I would get overwhelmed by the pain to the point of being unable to function. So I did something - I don't know exactly what, but I think i deliberately withdrew permission somehow, so I wouldn't walk around in the world being overwhelmed by other people's subjectivities (emotion and energy) coming into me.

And that worked except for a couple of people I was really close with, and I struggled with that. And I do occasionally have flashes even from strangers. A couple of weeks ago, I was in a restaurant started feeling this bleak loneliness and was in a space and context where I could pay attention; I tracked it to a woman a few tables down. It's a really disconcerting feeling and I totally get why as a little kid I had the response I had.

Don't know if that answers your question, but maybe there's something of use there?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
At the very least, I don't think this capacity would be a way to determine one's type.



I keep forgetting to ask her for a firsthand description - hopefully I can answer anyway.

She's described herself as a "conduit," so in her case think of a being that is, at some level, built like a channel. Other people's energy and emotion is like water flowing into a channel. Ideally it flows in and through and out, but I don't think it worked that way for her when she was younger. I think it affected her a LOT. She was surrounded by people who were not especially well (energetically and emotionally) and I think she felt like she would get dragged down with them if she allowed this situation to continue. In her early adulthood, she moved to disconnect herself from the most direct or intense aspects of what I would call the web of interconnection with those around her. It was around that time that her cognitive function stack really solidified, if I understand correctly. My observation is that being a judging (Fi) dominant has functioned to help protect her from the inflow from others as it acts like a filter.

I, on the other hand, didn't consciously realize I do this until a few years ago when I was very close to someone and would come home from time with her and feel a lot of pain and sadness and depression. It took me a while to get that while I was feeling this stuff in my body as if it was mine, it actually wasn't, it was hers and the closeness had forged a bond that brought it into me. And then it happened with another person, again someone I was extremely close to and I began to pay attention. And at that time, I remembered an experience I had when I was a kid. I was in a bus station and I was looking around at all these people and very clearly thinking to myself that I could feel that they each had their own subjectivity, inner worlds, and then I realized that almost everyone there was carrying pretty substantial pain at some level and thought very clearly to myself that if I allowed myself to be open to feeling that, I would get overwhelmed by the pain to the point of being unable to function. So I did something - I don't know exactly what, but I think i deliberately withdrew permission somehow, so I wouldn't walk around in the world being overwhelmed by other people's subjectivities (emotion and energy) coming into me.

And that worked except for a couple of people I was really close with, and I struggled with that. And I do occasionally have flashes even from strangers. A couple of weeks ago, I was in a restaurant started feeling this bleak loneliness and was in a space and context where I could pay attention; I tracked it to a woman a few tables down. It's a really disconcerting feeling and I totally get why as a little kid I had the response I had.

Don't know if that answers your question, but maybe there's something of use there?
thanks a lot for your response! it has given me something to ponder upon...
 
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