[niki]

Since in this current so-called "3D earthly Reality" we're living in, we're bound to especially one Law of physics that: Time keeps moving forward and thus you can only have one shot,..no matter what/how,
then, is it safe to assume that almost EVERY person must have felt something(s) that they've regret doing?... and some regrets can actually even become soooo heavy, that it seems like everything's too LATE already, ie: some dreams will never can be fulfilled again, because we've took the WRONG path in Life (because/due to many factors in this Limited reality/earthly life), and that we've wasted time, money (*sigh*...another BIG, HUGE Limitations, unfortunately), and efforts in the WRONG path!

Like it or not, Regrets DOES exist!..and therefore, not all of us can reach our dreams! ie: because sometimes it's already too late, we've got deeply entrenched into the 'gutter' of Responsibilities, Obligations, and things like that..!
I am now somehow become more realistic, cynic, and jaded nowadays than the 'useless' rainbow-eyed I used to be..

So, let's begin.

1) What do you think about this issue: Regrets? Do you personally think it's real, or not necessarily real? accept the Truth, or in denial?..

2) What are the examples of the things that you've regretted you ever done/did in this Life, and sometimes (even often, or always!) wish you could do differently, IF given time to repeat back again (unfortunately, in this Limited earthly reality, you can't!..) ?

3) What usually you will DO then with these Regrets?
how to cure them, and thus to keep moving forward in this Limited existence/earthly life?..

 

[hoganftw]

1. I know it's real for me.
2. A few examples include never asking girls out that clearly had interest in me and I clearly had interests in them. I regret liking girls that I knew they had no interests in me. I also regret turning every single paper in late. I regret playing video games and doing nothing when I should've been studying.
3. I cringe, I'm big on dwelling in the past for some reason. Like sometimes I just remember something stupid I did a long time ago and I just want to headbutt a nearby wall for a few minutes. But I get over it with my head intact and I move on.

 

[RoyA]

3. I cringe, I'm big on dwelling in the past for some reason. Like sometimes I just remember something stupid I did a long time ago and I just want to headbutt a nearby wall for a few minutes. But I get over it with my head intact and I move on.

Do you ever actually physically cringe? that happens to me sometimes when i think about stuff like this

 

[LeoSoma]

The lyrics to this song should sum my answer up to your questions.

 

[hoganftw]

Do you ever actually physically cringe? that happens to me sometimes when i think about stuff like this

Not all the time because sometimes I think about these things in public places such as class, but when I'm not self-conscious I do physically cringe.

 

[Sequestrum]

1) What do you think about this issue: Regrets? Do you personally think it's real, or not necessarily real? accept the Truth, or in denial?..

I have had my share of regrets, I still have them. The way I try to deal with them is to accept that they happened, attempt to salvage something positive from the situation, and just try to focus on that piece of good that I found. I think this is a mixture of truth and denial, truth is what I have salvaged, a lesson learned or a purpose to pass on. Denial is trying to forget about the painful feelings that come with it.

2) What are the examples of the things that you've regretted you ever done/did in this Life, and sometimes (even often, or always!) wish you could do differently, IF given time to repeat back again (unfortunately, in this Limited earthly reality, you can't!..) ?

I wouldn't change anything. As others have said before, no matter how much I regret something, I feel like everything happens for a reason, and if I were to change anything in the past, it would likely dramatically alter the present in a negative way or just delay the inevitable.

3) What usually you will DO then with these Regrets?
how to cure them, and thus to keep moving forward in this Limited existence/earthly life?..

Hold on to your regrets like keep sakes. Seek to learn something positive from it, and once you have found that piece. Hold onto it for dear life.

Our pain and regrets, if nothing else, will let us understand the pain and regrets of others. In this way, we are all the same. Sometimes it is comforting to know that.

 

[Vin The Dreamer]

1. Well, I suppose they're real. Or that, or I'm going crazy.
2. One of my biggest regrets, however simple it seems, is being internet/telephone shy. For some reason, I can't keep regular contact with my American friends through Facebook. Usually there'll be a period where I'm brave, start commenting on pictures and pulling a few conversations, then time passes and I'll eventually withdraw from then and be more distracted with other things. I don't know why, it seems I'm never good with social networks :/
Another one is being too lazy, procrastinating with any project or thing new to me, even if it's something I'd really enjoy. Like visualization, writing, running; it seems my current habits are too strong to overcome easily. I'm working on it though.
There are also the normal, personal regrets too, I guess. It used to bother me a lot when I was younger, but now it doesn't affect me as much. Usually enough time can dissipate the consequences of them, although maybe it's just that I haven't made any terrible life-determining choices yet.
3. Like I said above, not getting too worked up and allow time to do its thing usually settles it. But with those two issues though, the only way I'll change these is by overcoming those dreaded habits. In that's case, it's being active, stop sulking, and getting off my butt. But meh, that's not my forte.

About life in general, I imagine there's always an opportunity to change and make things better, but the time it takes us to realize this is costly. I've already spent the majority of my teenage years in a bad spot, when I could have been enjoying life more and being more proactive. There are people who even in their eighties decide to do what they've always wanted to do, and though they feel much freer, they know how much time they wasted. Reminds me of the parable of the fence and the nails. Although it isn't good to be too hasty, I would say time is of the essence.

 

[telepariah]

May I be very direct?

This will consume you if you don't learn to forgive yourself. That you have regrets is merely the evidence of your humanity. We are all on a journey through this life. And our purpose is not to accomplish anything in particular. The best lives, in my opinion, are the ones of those people who made mistakes, learned from them, and grew. Everybody has hardships that are unique the themselves. Yours and mine and those of most (but definitely not all) of the posters on PerC are what we might call first world problems. We are among a miniscule fraction of a percent of the most materially affluent people who have ever lived. So we can afford to have existential problems.

But whatever the nature of our problems, nobody overcomes every challenge. Everybody fails at something... no... many things. We hurt people we care about. We have a lifestyle that affords us opportunities that less fortunate people can hardly dream would be possible for them. But all of this we did not choose. And yet we are painfully aware of our failures.

I don't regret much. But I do regret that I behaved rather boorishly toward somebody I really liked and offended her so deeply I am sure she would never want to speak to me again. When I dwell on that, I am ashamed. But if I am to grow, I can only grow if I forgive myself. I need to recognize that I am always and was at that time, an imperfect bundle of experiences and emotions that I do not always control appropriately. I still am today. But one thing I won't do today is insult somebody's religion to their face. Yes, I regret what I said. But I don't dwell on it. The best I can do for the victim of my insensitivity (who I will likely never see again) is to live the lesson I learned through my unpayable debt to her. I'll be a better person because of that. The alternatives are too tragic for me to consider.

All we really can do is grow towards perfection by learning about ourselves and growing in the process, or grow in the opposite direction, or stand still and choose not to grow. Please take the first option, niki. Regret is conquered by forgiveness.

Peace,

Chez

 

[Belovodia]

I have many regrets, but what I regret most is not being more
aware/conscious when I was younger.

What I notice with the younger people here on this board is that
they seem far more conscious than I was at their age. I would have
done many things differently if I had been less unconscious. I
went blindly into things, not trusting my own intuition and letting
others sway me too much.

It's that old saying "if only I knew then what I now know".

Anyway, most of you still have most of your life ahead of you,
so you can still go for what you want.

 

[GraphicallyAlex]

I don't think that life is this one shot thing. I think that is a dangerous way to see things. Things can always get better. I do believe that regret is real and I think it is fine for a while, as long as one doesn't consider things OVER.

My biggest regret at this point is not attending my senior prom. lol jk
My biggest regret is staying obese for so long, but I know that it was necessary...
I don't regret things often. I usually just think that at the time with everything I knew that is what I would have done, and I would do it again if I was in the same exact situation.

I will say though I sometimes regret my posts on this site... Lol everytime I get a post quote I'm low key terrified... I make controversial posts somewhat often...

 

[Marimeli]

You know, I conceive of regret in a different way than most people. For me, regret is somewhat momentary, relatively speaking. I will say or do something and kick myself for it for a couple of days, then it disappears and I'm like, oh well. There are lots of things in my life that could have gone a different way but I think they all led me to here, with my hubs at my side and my son in my arms. How could I ever undo that?

 

[Sily]

Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to really mention.

 

[Lachesis]

I don't really regret anything. What is done is done, and I could not done in any other way.

Sure, bad shit has happened in my life and some of it is my own fault, but I don't dawdle in it.

I accept the bad choices as valuable lessons, and relish the good ones.

 

[illicit iridescence]

Since in this current so-called "3D earthly Reality" we're living in, we're bound to especially one Law of physics that: Time keeps moving forward and thus you can only have one shot,..no matter what/how,
then, is it safe to assume that almost EVERY person must have felt something(s) that they've regret doing?... and some regrets can actually even become soooo heavy, that it seems like everything's too LATE already, ie: some dreams will never can be fulfilled again, because we've took the WRONG path in Life (because/due to many factors in this Limited reality/earthly life), and that we've wasted time, money (*sigh*...another BIG, HUGE Limitations, unfortunately), and efforts in the WRONG path!

Like it or not, Regrets DOES exist!..and therefore, not all of us can reach our dreams! ie: because sometimes it's already too late, we've got deeply entrenched into the 'gutter' of Responsibilities, Obligations, and things like that..!
I am now somehow become more realistic, cynic, and jaded nowadays than the 'useless' rainbow-eyed I used to be..

So, let's begin.

1) What do you think about this issue: Regrets? Do you personally think it's real, or not necessarily real? accept the Truth, or in denial?..

2) What are the examples of the things that you've regretted you ever done/did in this Life, and sometimes (even often, or always!) wish you could do differently, IF given time to repeat back again (unfortunately, in this Limited earthly reality, you can't!..) ?

3) What usually you will DO then with these Regrets?
how to cure them, and thus to keep moving forward in this Limited existence/earthly life?..

Heya niki!

Been a while. You seem a little down, but to me it seems like you're dealing with stuff much better than a few months ago. That's good. :3

I can relate to what you're saying. I've 'wasted' quite a few years spending time on the 'wrong' path, in the eyes of many. Or perhaps it was the 'right' path, but I spent too little effort in trying to stick with it. All depends on your point of view ^^;

I was in med school, but I never finished it. Do I regret it? Well, yes and no. But my own regret doesn't bother me that much. The hardest part about it is talking to others about it - I see frowns on their faces, sometimes disapproval. And right now I'm definitely not employed in the job of my dreams, but that's more of a global economic crisis thing xD

Anyways, I'm actually happy that I chose to stray from my path (med school), and like the idea that the choices ahead of me are still open. If I could go back in time, I would change nothing much, except for cutting down the amount of years I was enrolled, perhaps. Even though it wasn't that fruitful, as in, I didn't get a degree in medicine, it was good for me in many ways. But like you said, I can't go back in time. That's cool with me. If I did go back in time to change things, I would lose all the stuff I've gone through so far, the experiences, all the knowledge I've gathered so far, perhaps also some, if not all the people I know and the friends I made.

I don't cure regrets - much like you may forgive someone but never forget what happened: I learn from them and live with them. :3

Hang around with us some more niki!

 

[illicit iridescence]

Ah, I forgot something. @niki, I know you're a musician but I don't know if you're into trance, nonetheless, I wanted to share this with you. I've been playing this a lot for myself lately. Part of my current signature is based on the lyrics. ^^ The original version that I listen to, is very different, much longer and has a way better build up than the official vid I can find on youtube. I suppose I'll stick with copypasting the lyrics.

you can travel the world but you can't run away
from the person you are in your heart
you can be who you want to be
make us believe in you
keep all your light in the dark
if your searching for truth
you must look in the mirror
and make sense of what you can see

just be
just be

they say learning to love yourself is the first step
that you take when you want to be real
and flying on planes to exotic locations
won't teach you how you really feel
face up to the fact that you are who you are
and nothing can change that belief

just be
just be

cause now i know it's not so far to where i go
the hardest part
is inside me
i need to just be

i was lost and i'm still lost but i feel so much better

 

[Michael82]

I think that procrastinating lies at the heart of INFP's psychological problems, and that the reason is that we are afraid of doing it wrong or being pushed into doing it right.

 

[infpblog]

Since in this current so-called "3D earthly Reality" we're living in, we're bound to especially one Law of physics that: Time keeps moving forward and thus you can only have one shot,..no matter what/how,
then, is it safe to assume that almost EVERY person must have felt something(s) that they've regret doing?... and some regrets can actually even become soooo heavy, that it seems like everything's too LATE already, ie: some dreams will never can be fulfilled again, because we've took the WRONG path in Life (because/due to many factors in this Limited reality/earthly life), and that we've wasted time, money (*sigh*...another BIG, HUGE Limitations, unfortunately), and efforts in the WRONG path!

Like it or not, Regrets DOES exist!..and therefore, not all of us can reach our dreams! ie: because sometimes it's already too late, we've got deeply entrenched into the 'gutter' of Responsibilities, Obligations, and things like that..!
I am now somehow become more realistic, cynic, and jaded nowadays than the 'useless' rainbow-eyed I used to be..

So, let's begin.

1) What do you think about this issue: Regrets? Do you personally think it's real, or not necessarily real? accept the Truth, or in denial?..

2) What are the examples of the things that you've regretted you ever done/did in this Life, and sometimes (even often, or always!) wish you could do differently, IF given time to repeat back again (unfortunately, in this Limited earthly reality, you can't!..) ?

3) What usually you will DO then with these Regrets?
how to cure them, and thus to keep moving forward in this Limited existence/earthly life?..

My regrets are few and I only regret the things I didn't do, the opportunities that I kind of procrastinated too long and they went away.

However, you and I have very different beliefs. For example, I don't give my dreams time limits. Time limits on our dreams are artificially imposed by us. So I don't believe in too late. That's why I love reading stories of grandmothers getting their college degrees. Besides, I don't care to be given deadlines by other people that make no sense. So what sense is there to give myself a deadline where I need to write my book by such and such age or else I have to let that dream go.

Also, I don't attach personal happiness to outcome. Attaching an emotional state (happiness) to an specific outcome (achievement of a dream) isn't necessary. I also think regret comes from focusing too much on trying to attain natural happiness instead of figuring out the balance between natural happiness and synthetic happiness.

 

[IcarusDreams]

I don't give my dreams time limits. Time limits on our dreams are artificially imposed by us. So I don't believe in too late. That's why I love reading stories of grandmothers getting their college degrees. Besides, I don't care to be given deadlines by other people that make no sense. So what sense is there to give myself a deadline where I need to write my book by such and such age or else I have to let that dream go.

I agree with the above, for as long as we live, we keep the dream alive, and it remains there to somehow reach, or for it to be transformed into something else equally worthwhile and inspiring. To quit dreaming, in order to supposedly be "realistic" (which in fact is probably not true, thus the quotes) is to stop living. Believe in your dream, and live your life in accordance to it.

I also believe that happiness is much more than reaching a particular dream, however sweet/desirable/attainable/unattainable it may be-it's also about the journey to get there. One must simply keep dreaming and doing all the time, working towards the dream even if it would seem like a longshot at times. The journey for our dreams is as much pleasant and full of adventure and excitemement as the "final dream" itself. Also, what if one reaches one's dreams and ends up unsatisfied? That's why for me, life is an ongoing, living "dream", rather than a quest with a definite goal which will finally bring the ultimate "happy ending." Life itself, as we continue to search for our heart's dreams, is the HAPPY quest, even amidst perils and broken hearts-there's always a reason to live, and to keep dreaming new, exciting dreams.

 

[JerseyDevil]

I have regrets, but the idea that regrets of doing or not doing something in the past somehow forces me to accept what is going on currently in my life forever at the ripe old age of 28 with absolutely no chance of ever changing that whatsoever for the next 50+ years of my life is batshit insane.

 

[Acrylic]

I regret holding certain people in a certain regard, when I should know it's unfounded for me to do that.

It was clearly founded at first. For a reason. But the person is ephemeral; like a fuzzy flower's petals easily blowing away in the wind, disintegrating at the first breeze.

I should be cognizant of that and just forgotten about them, instead of trying to preserve things as they were until issues that arose in my life blew over. I should not have not been so 'allegiant' to them despite the temporary absence I had to have.

I guess when the person was wary with me at first to make sure I was not an 'exploiter', I assumed they were not an ephemeral type of person. But maybe I was wrong and conflated two things as the same thing. Maybe they might not 'exploiters', but that doesn't mean they get 'bored' easily and quickly not care about someone after not talking to them for several months.

I'm a million percent unwavering in what I say and do... but to have assumed this person had the same trait was wrong, and I regret that.

On the other hand... given all other events lately, should it surprise me to receive an unceremonious 'whatever' and 'meh' from someone I would have never expected it from? Shouldn't surprise me in the least bit. Besides, what I'm going to do was going to happen even if this person was the complete opposite of what they were today.

It's just it would have been different if it were that way... a nice thing to cherish right before an incinerator. Instead of a piling on, nuking a dead horse - "oh and by the way, take my massive indifference of you along with you"

So I feel like a jackass for telling them things about me like an idiot, only to receive a giant "MEH" in return. Not sure if that can be regretted if it's something you didn't expect, but nonetheless I greatly regret it... had I known I clearly would not have bothered to say anything. Like I need any additional shittiness at this point in time.

But when the world is what it is, and has been proven to be time and again for time immemorial... does ONE more thing really make a difference?

Wait, that brings me to something I'm REALLY regretful of, now that I think of it. I thought my post would have ended there, but I am reminded of something I had control of, that I knew the outcome of should I continue but kept doing it anyway.

I'm regretful of soldiering on with an undying obsession, to manifest this ideal I have... to spread it as much as I can for different kinds of benefit... to make people laugh, because that's all I've known and feeling compelled to spread this to people... these were really, really, really stupid fucking things to aspire to do, when you KNOW what a pointless, useless endeavor it is. You affect NOTHING, and impact NOTHING, by doing that... and no, it doesn't matter how devoted you are to it, or how good at it you are... no amount of overexerting yourself in the service of doing that, is going to change the pointlessness of the endeavor.

I really hate the senseless, soul destroying nothingness that is the hell in existence on this planet. That is not to say existence ITSELF is hell. There are endless other planets out there, with endless other forms of life with varying degrees of success in how their societies evolved.

It's just to say that THIS place... this planet, which I was doomed and unlucky enough to have been born on, out of millions... is an ungodly hell. I hate it with all of my might, and that is coming from someone whose persona is more like a cartoon than an existentialist agent.