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Discussion Starter · #1 ·

I continue to focus on what I lack instead of what I do want.

I've read an insightful book I thought called The Vortex by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

If you are feeling lonely or frustrated about not yet meeting your mate, you are not a match to your vibrational reality, so your rendezvous is postponed. If you are remembering past unpleasant relationship and using those as your justification for wanting or needing a better one, you are a match to what you do not want, and what you do want is postponed. But if you can bring yourself to a place of consistently feeling good, even in the absence of the relationship that you desire, the rendezvous is certain,

Think about what you want in a relationship and why you want it. Look for those around you who are experiencing good relationships, and feel appreciation for them. Makes lists of the positive aspects of those you have spent time with…in fact, one of the fastest ways to make your way to a wonderful relationship is to find any subject that consistently feels good, and focus on that even if it has nothing to do with relationships.

The way to avoid repeating unwanted situations is to talk about wanted situations. Talk about what you do want; and discontinue dialogue about any unwanted experiences, situations, or results.

Once you are determined to improve the way you feel, you will begin to catch yourself in the more early, subtle stages of negative attraction. It is easier to release a negative thought in the beginning stages of it than after it has gained more momentum.

It may sound odd, but the fastest way to get to a new and improved situation is to make peace with your current situation. By making lists of the most positive aspects you can find about your current situations, you then release resistance to the improvements that are waiting for you. But if you rail against the injustices of your current situation, you hold yourself in vibrational alignment with what you do not want, and you cannot then move in the direction of improvement.

You can get to where you want to be from wherever you are but you must stop spending so much time noticing and talking about what you do not like about where you are.

Be a more selective sifter, and make lists of the positive things you are living. Look forward to where you want to be, and spend no time complaining about where you are. The responsive universe makes no distinction between the thoughts you think and about your current reality and the thoughts you think as you dream of your improved life. You are creating by virtue of what you are thinking about, and so there is no advantage whatsoever to pondering, or remembering, or observing, or speaking of things you do not want.

Make your active vibration be about what you do want and notice how quickly your life changes to match your vibration

If you are a person who has trained yourself to look for positive aspects, you will find them in yourself as well as in others. If you’re a person who has trained yourself to look for negative aspects, you will find them in yourself as well as others. Therefore, it is always accurate to say that no one who is critical of others really likes themselves. Whenever you see those who are very critical of others, you are actually seeing people who do not like themselves.

You are the thinking, vibrating attractor of your experience; and the thoughts you think determine everything about the life that you live. As you turn your attention towards the positive aspects of the personalities and behaviors of others with whom you share your planet, you will train your point of attraction in the direction of only what you desire.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I was wondering where to post and considered whether to place this under philosophy but then I know when it comes to relationships I react strangely to them. And I write the strangest things sometimes too.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
When energy travels in ways unexplainable then we are meant to reach out and move, as we are moved according to how we feel. when you are able to reason with your intuition rather than with your logic then you are somewhere on the road to understanding something more. and something more means that there is a world of intentions that are brought forth from intuition and of the heart and when you can tap into your intuition like that where you focus on positive energy and feel them and send them out your are being grateful and in that gratefulness you are moving faster, gaining better clarity and momentum towards that which is wanted. and that which is wanted is to be expressing our self belief and our confidence and our assertion in ways that make us proud to exist in this time frame.

after all it is within this time frame that those energies that exist are beautiful when the intentions are as such. and with that the positives do indeed stack up like a river wanting to burst and envelope those energies that want to experience positive energy as an integral moment in time. a portion of your soul energy that is travel ling with frequencies wanted. yes, towards your own beat of the drum and so much more, it is also towards the coalescence of who you are, the pinnacle of identity of experience and discovery that you are existing as energies meant for love. and that love is your right to be except we are indeed born into this world from trauma.

and as such climbing the emotional scale towards a state of acceptance of our inner self belief to shine outwardly as strongly as repairing the internal struggle between our minds and our hearts is perhaps the greatest achievement there is. once that is established and you know you are beings of brilliant energy do you start shining ever so brightly more. for you have learned your own inner wisdom and removed your negative imprints that are sent as much as your positive imprints and then the summoning is almost like a passage in time between the polarities of our essential self.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Okay tries to answer.

Think about what you want in a relationship and why do you want it.
- I want to be creative.
- I want to be loved.
- I want to experience safety and connectedness.
- I want to experience physical, intellectual, sexual, aesthetic, recreational and emotional stages of intimacy in a relationship.

One where you feel safe and loved. Where you can be yourself without feeling attacked, guilty or abused.

One where you complement each other, feel relaxed to be in each others company, enjoy each others closeness and independence. One where you respect each others boundaries and share in each others accomplishments. One where you treat each other as equals and communicate easily without feeling ashamed or nervous by anything you say. One where your spirit feels energised and strengthened by each others support and encouragement. One where you feel happy and secure to achieve your hearts desire, and dream together for your prosperity. One where you trust each other like a natural extension of your other half and appreciate each others beauty in each other. One where you enjoy each others spirituality, intelligence, emotions, sexuality and intimacy, where each discovery is more significant than the last. One where you are free to express your attitudes and affections every way you wanted and know that you are loved for being.

Because I want to feel with my heart and love. Because I want to experience and care and feel and think and see and touch and hear and sigh and relax and play and dance and laugh and cry with someone else. Because I want to share and sense and stand and walk and run and talk and hug and kiss and inspire and smell and smile with someone else. Because I want to joy and leap and fly and be and embrace and communicate and create and imagine and daydream and invent and innovate and motivate with someone else.

Talk about what you do want.
What I want in a partner is
- Assertion
- Self Belief
- Trust and honesty
- Compassion
- Thoughtfulness
- Emotions
- Loving kindness
- Positive energy
- Safety
- Equality
- Respect
- Humour

Lists of the most positive aspects you can find about your current situations, you then release resistance to the improvements that are waiting for you.
Lists a few of the things I know too
- I am learning about who I am, I am an INFP, I am Enneagram 4w5, I am Socionics INFj.
- I have experience in customer service, transport and logistics, administration, word, excel, powerpoint, access, myob, autocad, photoshop.
- I have worked in a family business and know how businesses operate.
- I have some learning in engineering, computing, accounting, administration, psychology, literature, health care, security guarding, retail, business systems, information technology, graphics and multimedia.
- I am independent, courageous, passionate, interesting, thoughtful, appreciative, sincere, integral, emotionally intelligent, spiritually, healthy conscious, a survivor, resourceful, sensitive, surprisingly soft, kind hearted, intelligent, visionary, innovative, creative, quietly confident, inner strength, introspective, interpretive, communicative, negotiational, discreet, open to experience, alternative, humorous.

Being where I am
- I am free to do what I want to
- I am able to mediate
- I exercise sometimes
- I love and listen to a broad range of music
- I am a movie fan
- I play computer games to relax
- I read books and participate on forums

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I can safely say I am one of the few heterosexual thirty three year old men who hasn't had the need to wear a condom yet. I'm astonished I am pretty much the same way as I've been since 23 progress wise and now I'm just getting on a bit. Topics about sexuality and relationships puzzle me. And yet during high school days I've gotten the strange title of porno king for pushing boundaries and freely distributing erotic literature and a strip poker game. :tongue:

Since then I've become some kind of asperger and have struggled to relate interpersonally with people. My obliviousness is starting to be infamous. In recent times I went to see an energy healer who said my energy points were blocked and that I was here to experience loneliness and powerlessness and that I have learned all that I could from it and then released the male and female halves that were blocking my energy points. Ever since my energy has changed. I am more communicative which helps, less ashamed to talk about what is.

The fact is I am a good looking guy. When people look at me the first impression they have of me is that I have potential, there is a presence there, then it goes away and people start going OH! I thought there was something, but it must have been my imagination. For I've been relegated from social jobs that pushed for me to become a manager in a matter of months to stacking shelves because I got overworked.

As I mentioned to my meditation instructor today I am going through a quiet crisis and I don't know how to snap out of it. And she found me growing a goatee cute, that it suited me. I've withdrawn from everything the last few weeks to the point I rebuffed work opportunities and crazily am spending more than I have. She said I need to be grounded, connect to the earth through the sand on the beach or gardening.

What I most want is to be grounded, I've been floating for such a long time. I feel I am lost without knowing why or how its come to pass, and I know this has much to do with the heart.

This thread is my sounding board, a discussion of where I'm at in my relationship life, which is a mystery.

I'm a strange duck, that I am!

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
The intuitive abilities people have exhibited through the ages and which cannot be explained by stored memories or the brain’s analytic capability, seem to point to an energy field the body is connected to via sensory perception, this field houses the information we attribute to intuition.

Coherence is an optimal state in which the heart, mind and emotions are operating in-synch and balanced. Most people experience this mental, emotional and physical alignment in varying degrees.

Goethe said “we are shaped and fashioned by what we love”, and perhaps intelligence is given form by the heart. Emotional intelligence is true understanding of what is learned. Once learning is embedded in the heart, as well as the head, the lesson is converted to wisdom.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
These are ideas I shall take notice of. Positive intentions create manifestations that move in a synchronized fashion so I've come to learn. When we start to think with our heart then we are manifesting events intuitively, when we think with our minds only we are dismissing heart energies that which is intuitive.

8 Stages of Intimacy

Safety means that as the relationship grows between two people. Should something frighten, upset or threaten you, your partner becomes the safe haven, the person you seek rather than avoid. Safety is something a person earns through trust and actions.

Connectedness or more commonly chemistry is that feeling that you are in tune with the other person, you have enough common ground to feel comfortable yet enough differences to keep things interesting. True intimacy cannot be achieved without feelings of safety and feelings of connectedness.

1. Physical Intimacy - Commonly referred to as infatuation or puppy love, physical intimacy occurs through information you acquire through observation, the way the person thinks, speaks, looks and interacts with their surroundings. Generally, if you are attracted to someone of the opposite sex, you share physical intimacy. You will also find most of your friends via physical intimacy, realizing that there is something about this person you like and you would like to get to know them better.

2. Aesthetic Intimacy - Have you ever met a new friend and been amazed at all of the interests you have in common? This is aesthetic intimacy. To reach this level, you begin to get to know the other person’s tastes in music, clothes, food, art and many other areas. If you ever want to find out if you are aesthetically compatible with a potential mate, go to a furniture store, art gallery or even a clothing store to find out what styles each of you like.

3. Recreational Intimacy - Many of your friends or close clients will reach this level. The people you spend time with, go to games with, to the movies, shopping or share common interests constitute recreational intimacy. For couples, both partners will have several common interests, while reserving others for themselves. But what happens if she is into extreme sports and he prefers to paint and read?

4. Intellectual Intimacy - Reaching intellectual intimacy is the first true test of a relationship and where you first begin to trust your partner with your deeper self. This is where you share your hopes, fears, opinions and beliefs without fear of ridicule or chastising. It is within intellectual intimacy you learn how to mirror each other, validate the other’s point of topic and engage in ideas. Your closest friendships will also achieve this level of intimacy. Intellectual Intimacy doesn't really have a lot to do with IQ or relative education, though studies have shown in the majority of successful marriage, the man and the woman are within five IQ points of each other. Intellectual Intimacy is about the core motivations and character of an individual.

5. Spiritual Intimacy - This is where the relationship really begins. One of the toughest stages to accomplish, many married couples never achieve spiritual intimacy. A lack of it is a key reason many fail to survive. When a couple progresses to this stage, there is a sense and meaning to the relationship. You share similar morals, values and ethics. Your futures are now inclusive in both the short term and the long term. Before a couple can reach spiritual intimacy, each participant in the relationship must have already resolved the struggle with their own identity and defined who they are individually before the two can come together as a common entity. Spiritual Intimacy is where you and I become we. Siblings many times will be your first introduction to reaching this level.

6. Emotional Intimacy - Many couples never make it to emotional intimacy because it is in emotional intimacy where you must accept the person for whom he or she is without reservation, flaws, irrationality and all. At this level, you feel comfortable sharing yourself without fear of repercussions. On a daily basis, both parties feel comfortable to voice and share their anger, happiness, secrets, sensual side and sexual feelings. You know you are loved and love your partner no matter how either of you feel or act.

7. Sexual Intimacy - Let's see those hands! How many of you are guilty of doing Stages 1,2,3 and jumping to 7? Us too. You're not alone. Sexual intimacy is about touch (which can be non-sexual like with friends and children) and in the dating and mating game it's part of the courtship and consummation. There is nothing wrong with doing the 1,2,3,7 dance, if a fast fling or an affair is all you are interested in. Unfortunately, for many adults it becomes the only way they know how to date and a main reason so many relationships crash and burn, especially in the first six months.

8. Unconditional Intimacy - Truly the most difficult level to attain, few couples experience unconditional love. It is the ultimate goal, similar to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, unconditional love is the equivalent of self-actualization. Many people will come close to experiencing unconditional love with their children. Pets provide unconditional love for their owners, loving them regardless of who they are, how they act or what they think.
This I thought was awesome.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Its strange though because the maslow's hierarchies of needs read like the chakra system, energy points that run along the endocrine system...which is interesting but I'm getting distracted.

Maslow formulated the theory of needs that puts Self Actualization at the top of the pyramid. However, unconsciously he has used the theory of chakra.

After many lives of power, a soul wants more experiences. It is no longer content “experiencing” survival, luxuries, and power. It wants more. It is a mature soul seeking true love, seeking power not for power’s sake, but to participate in the one’s creation in a caring and loving manner. For such souls, the anahata or the heart center is more active. Once the soul recognises that there is something more to life than the simple material needs, it starts to experience love and emanate love. It is now centered in the universal consciousness.

Ever wonder why our body replaces itself every 7 years. Ever wondered why there are 7 seas and 7 continents in the world that we inhabit. Ever wondered why there are 7 swaras or notes, 7 colours, and 7 rishis known otherwise as saptarishis. The 7 energy centers or the 7 chakras in the human body. There was the sound, this sound so beautifully put is OM. OM is the sound that has manifested itself into the universe as a creation that is vast, multifarious, exhilarating, and extremely wondrous. Whatever we see, feel, touch, taste is the resultant of this sound being manifested. The sound has manifested into 7 types of creation that are also known as the 7 worlds.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Back on track now.
*Looks at the heart chakra.*

Heart Chakra (Anahata)
The fourth chakra, the heart chakra,rests in the center of the chakra system, at the core of our spirit. Its physical location is the heart, upper chest, and upper back. The fourth is the balance point, integrating the world of matter (the lower three chakras) with the world of spirit (the upper three chakras). Through the heart chakra, we open to and connect with harmony and peace. The health of our heart center registers the quality and power of love in our life. In Sanskrit, the heart chakra is called Anahata, which means “unstruck” or “unhurt.” Its name implies that deep beneath our personal stories of brokenness and the pain in our heart, wholeness, boundless love, and a wellspring of compassion reside.

This chakra’s element is air. Air spreads and energizes. Like water, air assumes the shape of whatever it fills, yet it is less subject to gravity than water. When you feel swept up in love, you often need to replant your first chakra in order to stay grounded. Air permeates breath, so pranayama practice helps balance and tone this chakra. All forms of pranayama can help you use more air, more prana, thereby increasing your vitality and enthusiasm for life.

If you notice that you are sitting with your head forward, shoulders rounded and your chest collapsed, it’s a good time to start practicing fourth chakra poses to give your heart some breathing space. When we lead with our head and not with the heart, we may be overly focused on thought and tend to cut ourselves off from the emotions and the body. When the heart chakra is deficient, you may experience feelings of shyness and loneliness, an inability to forgive, or a lack of empathy. Physical symptoms can include shallow breathing, asthma, and other lung diseases.

Asanas that enliven the heart chakra include passive chest openers in which we arch gently over a blanket or bolster, shoulder stretches such as the arm positions of Gomukhasana and Garudasana (Eagle Pose), and backbends. Being an even-numbered, feminine chakra, the heart center naturally yearns to release and let go. Doing backbends develops the trust and surrender we need to open the heart fully. When we feel fearful, there is no room for love, and our bodies show contraction. When we choose love, the fear melts away, and our practice takes on a joyful quality. In many backbending poses, the heart is positioned higher than the head. It's wonderfully refreshing to let the mind drop away from the top position and instead lead with the heart.

Some signs that the heart chakra is overpowering your life can include co-dependency, possessiveness, jealousy, heart disease, and high blood pressure. For these symptoms, forward bends are the best antidote, because they are grounding and foster introspection. While people with deficient heart chakras need to open to receive love more fully, those with excessive heart chakras find healing by slowing down to discover inside themselves the nourishment they have been seeking from others.

The most powerful way to open, energize, and balance not just the heart chakra but all of our chakras is to love ourselves and others. Love is the greatest healer. In our hatha yoga practice, remembering what we love and appreciate as we practice fourth chakra asanas enhances the power of the poses and our general well-being.

Your Heart Chakra: Balanced Heart

Located near your heart, in the very center of your chest, your fourth
chakra is the domain of human intimacy. It is essential to affection, warmth, nurturing, friendship and familiarity. Your fourth chakra is the seat of your ability to feel joy, unity, laughter and especially, love-the very highest power in your life. It expands your capacity to be generous, sensitive, forgiving and tolerant.

With a balanced fourth chakra, the circulation of your blood is healthy and smooth, your heart rhythm is regular and your arteries are clear from blockage.

The fourth chakra is generally considered the most important energy center in your psyche, because it is from this chakra that love emanates. It is naturally associated with family, partners, friends, spiritual family members and animals. When it is balanced, you care about how you affect others. You want to touch them in a positive, nurturing way. You want to reveal to them the power of love.

Heart Chakra Facts:
· The heart chakra rules your compassion, forgiveness, generosity and love.
· A well-balanced fourth chakra will result in stimulating your highest
ideals and desires, and leave you feeling positive and nurturing.
· In your body, the fourth chakra governs the heart, circulation, breasts, and arteries.
· An apt image for the fourth chakra is an open doorway.
· The heart chakra vibrates with the color green.
· The heart chakra's mission statement is: I give, I care, I love.

When your heart chakra is balanced, you non-judgmentally accept yourself and others. You recognize beauty-in yourself and in everyone-while overlooking weaknesses. It is because of a balanced fourth chakra that you are kind and forgiving, as well as quick to pardon. You are also tolerant, optimistic, resourceful and humorous.

If your heart chakra is off balance or shut down, you might have a tendency to run away from intimacy. You might even intentionally push otherwise loving and lovable people away from you. Without this sense of connection, you become critical, suspicious and defensive. Paranoia becomes a real possibility. If your heart center shuts down completely, you may be inclined toward secrecy, betrayal and addictions.

By closing your heart, you continue to push people away, who in response reject you again, seemingly validating your initial etermination to seal yourself off. Again and again you pull back. Again and again you're pushed away. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Your heart becomes more closed and you become more isolated.

A heart chakra imbalanced in the opposite direction-too wide open-causes problems too. You can become too empathic, too easily picking up on the anger or depression of others. You live at the mercy of the moods and feelings of those around you. This can be psychically and physically draining.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Then that got me to wonder about soul ages, perhaps I'm an old soul.
Soul Age Levels

I'm disappointed I haven't talked about anything overtly sexual yet.

Focus like you mean it.
This eccentric heart shall get there eventually.
Which reminds me I have to talk about the emotional guidance system too.

280 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
The idea of an emotional guidance system is helpful!

"Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to truth and to perfect contentment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emotions 'R' Us. The first thing to understand about your Emotional Guidance System is that it is your friend, your guide. The purpose of your Emotional Guidance System is to let you know when you're in the process of attracting and creating what you do want and when you're in the process of attracting and creating what you do not want. It gives you important information similar to the feedback you get when you touch a hot stove. Although we appreciate the warning from a hot stove, most of us have been trained to undervalue the information we receive from our emotions.

If, like me, your habit has been to trust your thoughts and push down your feelings, this new concept will be revolutionary. It may help you to begin to trust and value your emotions by recognizing that your feelings are actually guidance from your Inner Being. The purpose of emotion is to give you feedback about the vibrational content of your thoughts. This is crucial information because the vibrational content of your thoughts determines what you are attracting and creating. Your Emotional Guidance System is not trying to torture you. It's offering you essential data about what you're ordering from the Cosmic Café. Where is your current vibration on the Emotional Guidance Scale? Where is your dominant vibration on the Emotional Guidance Scale?

Emotional Guidance Scale (from the book, Ask and It Is Given)

Joy / Knowledge / Empowerment / Freedom / Love / Appreciation
Enthusiasm / Eagerness / Happiness
Positive Expectation / Belief
Frustration / Irritation / Impatience
Hatred / Rage
Insecurity / Guilt / Unworthiness
Fear / Grief / Depression / Despair / Powerlessness

Here's how the Emotional Guidance System works: If you're feeling an emotion that's closer to the bottom of the scale - such as Fear or Depression - you're offering Feel Bad Thoughts which are restricting your Life Force Energy and your access to Well-Being. If you're feeling an emotion at the top of the scale - such as Joy and Empowerment - you're offering Feel Good Thoughts that connect you to Source Energy so that Well-Being pumps steadily through you. It really is that simple to determine whether your thoughts are serving you well or not.

Trust Your Feelings. We feel Energy and this vibrational guidance can serve us well. That first impression we get when we meet someone comes from our vibrations, our Emotional Guidance System. You may recall looking back on a failed relationship or business deal and remembering that there was something that just didn't feel right. As we tune in to our Emotional Guidance System and begin to trust its unfailing accuracy, we spend less time going down roads that lead to dead ends and more time scaling the mountains of our most deeply cherished desires.

Use your Emotional Guidance System to know what's right for you rather than listening to the advice or criticism of others. Trust that you have a source of unfailing guidance within you at all times and live in accordance with this inner wisdom. Be deeply convinced that an inner knowing is always available to you. When you utilize your Emotional Guidance System and listen to your true voice, you truly can create the life of your dreams.
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