[mrshankly]

For those who haven't heard of it, Alexithymia (real or not) is a term coined by psychologists to describe one who is emotionally deficient. One who has it cannot describe their own emotions, and has difficulty in recognizing emotions in others. As an ISTP, I feel this description describes me perfectly. Anyone else agree? Here is the link to the Wikipedia article: Alexithymia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[chiagirl27]

My little brother is severely autistic. He can't tell you whether he's happy, excited, aroused, or neutral - he truly lacks the ability to identify and classify his emotions, although he experiences the emotions - I've seen him excited, sad, etc. His responses (physically) to his emotions are usually WAY overblown - if he's excited about buying a new CD, he might jump up and down, laughing uncontrollably, biting his hand or hitting his head for hours. When he exhibits sadness (crying, sobbing), it never seems to be in relation to anything that's happening in his environment - it just seems random and sporadic, and he appears so terribly miserable, and these episodes can last for hours too. He can't tell you why he's crying - and he couldn't even tell you that he's sad. His automatic response, now, is to say he's sad - but he's parroting what those around him have said his whole life.

All that to say - he absolutely lacks the ability to discern, describe, or understand his emotions.

I don't experience many highs or lows emotionally. I'm never excited or overjoyed, and I don't identify with those feelings naturally - it makes me uncomfortable when people around me are over-emotional. I have experienced sadness, sometimes extreme (and inappropriate) but it's always been fleeting, and I return to neutral pretty easily.

I believe I understand most of my emotions, what I'm experiencing when (although I agree they are not always socially acceptable or expected emotions, as they are usually fairly close to neutral), but I'm not real good at TALKING about them with people. Where I'm relatively uninhibited with normal conversation (discussing something of interest, or someone else's life with them), when the subject of my emotions comes up (rare), my speech becomes a bit halting, I may stutter or take ages to get my thoughts out - I can't access words to describe my feelings, perhaps because I'm not completely in tune with what they are - or, probably more accurately, how to communicate them.

I know when something's "off" - meaning, I'm straying from neutral. Sometimes I put a little too much emphasis on the feelings I experience, thinking they're more pertinent than they are. This could explain my relationship problems - a mild feeling of rejection (unfounded usually) I might experience so strongly that I go down the wrong road with it, becoming more frustrated as I go along.

So, for me, I know I have some issues communicating and perhaps classifying my emotions consistently, but I don't feel that I'm out of touch with them - just that I'm most comfortable and at home when I'm pretty dead neutral, and swaying too far above or below my comfort zone puts me in danger of inappropriately identifying what I'm feeling and acting on my poor interpretations.

I hope I said what I meant to say. I'm a little lost in this subject

 

[AEIOU]

As an ISTP, I feel this description describes me perfectly. Anyone else agree?

I don't know about you, but it certainly doesn't describe me.
I knew a woman that might have had/be Alexithymia. She had been through some pretty traumatic relationship stuff and she just kind of shut down emotionally.

 

[madhatter]

That doesn't describe me either. I am uncomfortable with excessive emotion, and I often hold my emotions inside, but I understand my emotions. I do sometimes find it hard to express them or describe them precisely to others though, especially if I'm feeling several at once.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

Doesn't describe me at all, either. I have emotions and I can tell when others are experiencing their own, I'd just rather not deal with either on most occasions.

 

[gpky]

Certainly not me! I do have emotions and I understand why I feel a certain way. I just don't express my emotions very much because of my preference, not because I cannot, or that I don't know how to.

 

[Capsicum]

Meh, maybe.

I once had this convo with a friend:

Me: You know what I really hate? When people ask "how are you?" I don't know how I am, so why do they ask? What do you do?
Him: Ok you're weird. :mellow:

I have emotions of course but I'm just no good at figuring them out, which is why my mood thingy has been on "content" since the day I joined. :crazy:

 

[gpky]

Meh, maybe.

I once had this convo with a friend:



I have emotions of course but I'm just no good at figuring them out, which is why my mood thingy has been on "content" since the day I joined. :crazy:

That's really funny! I can totally relate to this!!!

I hate it when people ask me 'How are you?" Because to me, 'Fine' or 'Great thanks!' is just such a superficial answer, even though I know that when people ask how I am they don't really want to know the truth - they are just expecting a pretty standard answer. I wonder why they even bother.

In any case, when I get asked this question, I totally get irritated because it takes a whole lot of self-examination to answer it properly. And delving into my emotions and feelings isn't the thing that I enjoy doing.

 

[sofort99]

I don't experience many highs or lows emotionally. I'm never excited or overjoyed, and I don't identify with those feelings naturally - it makes me uncomfortable when people around me are over-emotional. I have experienced sadness, sometimes extreme (and inappropriate) but it's always been fleeting, and I return to neutral pretty easily.

See, this is where you are misidentifying the terrific and horrible emotional part of being an ISTP.

We spend a majority of our time in emotional "neutral".

But we do have emotions. They are like being struck by lightning.

We feel everything everybody else feels, and just as much. But ours are not weakened by being strung out over time. When we love, we love intensely. When we are angry, we are anger. When we hate something or somebody, we hate with every fiber of our being.

As with so many other things about us, our emotions are very Zen like.

But is strikes light lightning, and it passes by the time the thunder rolls through.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

[ThoughtProcess]

See, this is where you are misidentifying the terrific and horrible emotional part of being an ISTP.

We spend a majority of our time in emotional "neutral".

But we do have emotions. They are like being struck by lightning.

We feel everything everybody else feels, and just as much. But ours are not weakened by being strung out over time. When we love, we love intensely. When we are angry, we are anger. When we hate something or somebody, we hate with every fiber of our being.

As with so many other things about us, our emotions are very Zen like.

But is strikes light lightning, and it passes by the time the thunder rolls through.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Outstanding descripiton.

 

[Kadjunga]

While i would love to be able to turn them off completely, those creepy buggarts still sneak in from time to time. They very very rarely ever do manage to show up on me in the manner of being visible to outsiders. So no

 

[mrshankly]

I'd describe my normal emotional state as being really chilled out. Because of (unconfirmed) weak intuition, I can never really tell what people's real motives are, and it's hard to get a read on them. Because of this, it is very hard to get mad at people. However, it takes a real long time for me to get close with people. Ehh, whateva. Not something to worry about

 

[ThunderBear]

Me: You know what I really hate? When people ask "how are you?" I don't know how I am, so why do they ask? What do you do?
Him: Ok you're weird.

That's really funny! I can totally relate to this!!!

I hate it when people ask me 'How are you?" Because to me, 'Fine' or 'Great thanks!' is just such a superficial answer...

Yes, and that's why I don't say it. Except for the 1% of the time when it's actually true. You ask me "How are you?", in 98% of the cases I'll tell you "Average." to your face and I don't care if it alienates you when you hear that for the third, fifth or tenth time in a row.

I guess some people might expect that you ask them back how they do. I never thought about that untill now. Asking people that question ... never comes to my mind. Maybe I'm weird, too.

We spend a majority of our time in emotional "neutral".
...
When we love, we love intensely. When we are angry, we are anger. When we hate something or somebody, we hate with every fiber of our being.
...
I wouldn't trade it for anything.

You got it!

 

[chiagirl27]

See, this is where you are misidentifying the terrific and horrible emotional part of being an ISTP.

We spend a majority of our time in emotional "neutral".

But we do have emotions. They are like being struck by lightning.

We feel everything everybody else feels, and just as much. But ours are not weakened by being strung out over time. When we love, we love intensely. When we are angry, we are anger. When we hate something or somebody, we hate with every fiber of our being.

As with so many other things about us, our emotions are very Zen like.

But is strikes light lightning, and it passes by the time the thunder rolls through.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

This is a fantastic description, thank you. And you're right - I am often embarrassed at the intensity of my emotions when I experience them like that... which is rare, but so explosive that it can ruin relationships (exhibit A: tonight and the ex boyfriend).

I love being neutral. It's comfy. I hate the explosive emotions. NOT COMFY.

But your description will help me accept my emotional state(s) over time... thank you.

 

[DemonAbyss10]

I can tell my own without issue, but when it comes to other people, I can have issues. A large portion of that though may just be because I don't really give a shit about most other people, and the fact that deciphering emotions drains me of energy.

 

[ENTrePenuer]

For those who haven't heard of it, Alexithymia (real or not) is a term coined by psychologists to describe one who is emotionally deficient. One who has it cannot describe their own emotions, and has difficulty in recognizing emotions in others. As an ISTP, I feel this description describes me perfectly. Anyone else agree? Here is the link to the Wikipedia article: Alexithymia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

What you've just described is know as Fe or Fi


Here are the four type that Fe and Fi lowest in their function order.
The lower down a function is in the order the harder it will be for that type to classify those functions when the occur within themselves.

ESTJ - Fi
ISTP - Fe
ENTJ - Fi
INTP - Fe


This is why INTP's and ISTP's often have the similar problem with intimate relationships.

Fe
The process of extraverted Feeling often involves a desire to connect with (or disconnect from) others and is often evidenced by expressions of warmth (or displeasure) and self-disclosure. The “social graces,” such as being polite, being nice, being friendly, being considerate, and being appropriate, often revolve around the process of extraverted Feeling. Keeping in touch, laughing at jokes when others laugh, and trying to get people to act kindly to each other also involve extraverted Feeling. Using this process, we respond according to expressed or even unexpressed wants and needs of others. We may ask people what they want or need or self-disclose to prompt them to talk more about themselves. This often sparks conversation and lets us know more about them so we can better adjust our behavior to them. Often with this process, we feel pulled to be responsible and take care of others’ feelings, sometimes to the point of not separating our feelings from theirs. We may recognize and adhere to shared values, feelings, and social norms to get along.

Fi
It is often hard to assign words to the values used to make introverted Feeling judgments since they are often associated with images, feeling tones, and gut reactions more than words. As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in. There can be a continual weighing of the situational worth or importance of everything and a patient balancing of the core issues of peace and conflict in life’s situations. We engage in the process of introverted Feeling when a value is compromised and we think, “Sometimes, some things just have to be said.” On the other hand, most of the time this process works “in private” and is expressed through actions. It helps us know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones.

 

[Erbse]

In some point in time I was pointed into the direction of Asperger's Syndrom and when I read its description I felt it quite befitting in many ways, not all of them though. I'm not autistic for all I know though, but it appears that my state of mind and being seems to emulated a state people affected be Asperger-Syndrom have to permanently undergo.

I'm well aware that people do have emotions, however I do not care for most part what they are, and hence ignore them for the betterment of the world. May it be my own, or someone else, I'll trample them into the floor equally for the sake of logical correctness and justice.

That said, I've a very hard time with being happy, I can't just let myself go and enjoy happiness, it gets suppressed quite hard. Same for sadness. In fact, I can and do suppress most my feelings quite well. Whether or not that's healthy I don't really care about as it spares me the trouble of dealing with them :laughing: The way I see emotions is that they're the evil bringers and cloud your mind/judgment. I think it's save to say that all stupid things you've ever done in your life were either a result of anger or euphoria.

Though, I typically warn people when I get into a foul mood, if that formal warning is being ignored prepare to have a verbal a-bomb being unleashed on you and regardless of what I say in an emotional outburst of nuisance, I still stick to the facts rather to my opinion, meaning overall I keep the rant unbiased and logical which makes it all the worse for me to defuse the situation afterwards, that's if I even care when done anyway.

Emotions are an abominations and represent everything that is irrational and illogical. They must be purged.

 

[chiagirl27]

^I know I haven't been on this board very long, but I've noticed that most of the "older" ISTPs around here seem to be a lot more open and ... evolved... when it comes to our emotions, and caring about the emotions of others. Perhaps it's a maturity thing? The few folks here that talk often about their unhappiness or their lack of caring for others seem to be in Generation Y from what I've noticed. I'm on the older side of Gen X, I don't quite know what year "Baby Boomer" ends and Gen X begins, but I'm probably roughly on the cusp of that, and being a bit older, having a child (certainly), and having dealt with more people over a longer span of time has probably helped me immensely in developing my emotional side.

NOT that I'm great with emotions - I'm a bit of a tool sometimes, not knowing when to be supportive, not interpreting other peoples' emotions very well or easily, and especially not understanding my own emotions, overreacting, etc. But I certainly don't trample all over other people for the sake of logic, you know? It took me many years to get myself into a good balance, where I can stop myself from harming without losing myself in the process...

Anyway.... I just wanted to point out that maybe - just maybe - the emotional side gets better with age and exposure to the world/people/etc. And, personally, I think that relating to other people and their emotions IS a good thing, I do wish I were a bit more receptive and able to identify emotions when they happen, I admire people who are naturals with that.

 

[Erbse]

Well, I'm no one to actively seek conflict, so no, I won't trample over peoples feelings because I like it or feel like it at the moment, but because they're most likely trying to push their skewed stuff onto me in some form.

Typically I trample unintentionally over peoples feelings, simply because they have no room in my decision making. I do have a conscious myself and I may feel bad due to fairness involved in certain decisions, but if a decision has to be made by me it's being made for the best of the majority and I don't care who gets hurt in the progress.

Though, I wouldn't doubt that you are correct with what you are saying in regards to maturing. As it stands however there's not much room to grow in my personal environment given my lack of social interaction in real life :tongue: Probably when I start working. It also appears to me that most ISTPs here seem to be women, who I'd say are generally more in tune with their emotions than men are, given a comparison within the same personality type. Though that may be just me resorting to unproven prejudices.

EDIT: I do realize that my view may be a bit extreme and can lead back to premature rebelling, however the only time I would possibly care about someones emotions is if I liked the person and see him/her as special.

 

[Seralya]

Medical dictionaries are dangerous, wikipedia doubly so.