For me the need of freedom is mostly expressed in being spontaneous. While I like to plan especially travels and meetings I also like a certain amount of spontaneity in my life. Sometimes I just want to go on a small trip out of the blue or go out. While this can happen while being on my own it can just as well be with my partner. I just enjoy getting out so to say.
If I can't have that freedom sooner or later I will get very cranky and depressed. I'll start worrying too much about everything and get even more depressed, it's like a viscous circle.
On the other hand I wouldn't want to miss a close relationship.
Sorry to pop on your thread guys, just want to say a little something.
Maron is my girlfriend and as you see by my type (INTJ), we're complete opposites. I must say that at first it was hard for me to handle her "randomness" and spontaneity, sometimes it still is. I also know that sometimes it's hard for her to deal with my lack of spontaneity.
However, we try to get a balance and give room to each other. Sometimes I'll "jump the gun" with her, sometimes she'll get along with my "plans", most of the time I let her do what she wants because I know that if I don't, I'll have a sad panda and I don't want that.
For example, the other day we were coming home and she felt like going out for dinner. I was tired but I went along, ended up slightly drunk and by the end of the night, she was happy and in turn, I was happy (because she was happy).
Over time I started noticing the symptoms what she posted above and I started thinking that maybe I should "open up" a little more to her spontaneous personality. In exchange, I asked her to give me some room to be alone with my thoughts, something that I was finding hard to do due to her being very "cuddly" so to say.
To have a relationship means that concessions have to be made by both ends. It's impossible to keep on living as if you're still alone and if concessions aren't made, the relationship will turn into hell and probably end in failure.
We all lose a bit of our freedom in a relationship but it doesn't mean we have to lose it completely. It's a matter of finding balance between the two people in it.