I usually won't initiate unless that is my objective. I've never been one for casual relationships. I don't have a figure - it really depends on the circumstances and the organic pace things are taking. Years does seem a bit extreme, though.I hope these questions haven't already been asked here.
1. How long does it take you INTJs to figure out whether you want to be in a committed relationship after you first meet or start getting to know someone? I mean how many weeks or months or years?
I wouldn't date more than one person at a time. Not my style. Like I said, my objective is a monogamous relationship and I doubt I would consider that with more than one person concurrently. I'm either sleeping with you, no relationship possible or you are a prospective spouse. I don't have time or patience for anything in the middle.2. If you're dating someone, when do you stop seeing other people? Do you stop seeing others as soon as you start to have some (not necessarily strong) feelings for that person, or only when you're serious about that person?
I don't think I've ever had that talk but historically, I've usually been very upfront with sort of "this is what I want, are you in or out" as far as my intentions. I would imagine if an INTJ is initiating that talk, the partner is being very vague/ambiguous and the INTJ is having difficulty determining from actions if everyone is on the same page.3. Are you usually the one in the relationship to initiate the DTR (define the relationship) talk? Or do you wait for it to be initiated by the other person or to develop organically? If you initiate the talk, how soon do you do so after you decide you want to be in a committed relationship?
If I initiated that convo, it would be more with the sentiment, "should I be heading to the door or am I just misunderstanding you?" If someone initiated that talk with me, I would definitely clarify exactly what I personally believed the current situation was and, if necessary, retool things so we're heading in the right direction.