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Interesting. I'm curious--how do you define love?

I ask only because I'm wondering if you define love as something that's more practical that unconditional.
I'd define love as a long-term emotion of deep affection towards someone. Or just an emotion, in a nutshell.

I feel somewhat of an apprehension towards "unconditional" love, actually. Let me explain.
Usually when someone says "unconditional" it implies a certain idealism of love, romance or even infatuations.
Nothing wrong with that; I am guilty of it on occasion too. However it can take extreme measures where issues in the relationship go by unmentioned.
And then later the relationship ends in a huge bang. Where all the bottled up emotions explode. It's not pretty.
And rather then assuming responsibility for their actions (or lack thereof) they just write it off as "he was not the one".

Hence, I feel somewhat of an apprehension towards "unconditional love". I've seen it take negative turns too often.
 

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Does anyone know what would be the best match for an ENFJ female?
Don't know the tropes, I'd try the ENFJ section, too. My personal experiences with ENFJs have been good, however.
Just keep in mind to keep the typology pairings with a grain of salt. There's more to it then merely types.
 

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Throwaway because this question is gross.


TLDR; How do I get my ENTj boyfriend to spend the night twice while not meeting his demand to fart in front of me?

I love my ENTJ boyfriend and I think he's really sexy and manly. I don't know how this got brought up, but I asked him what he's like when I'm not around and he said he farts way more. I cannot expressed how much I really appreciate that he doesn't do that around me and will go "for a walk" or make some other excuse to leave the room. I complained to him that he only spends the night one night at a time and he always leaves the room to watch TV in another room after I fall asleep (snuggling with him makes me instantly pass out). He said he's holding in his farts the entire time and if he could just fart in front of me then he would be more comfortable staying the night more because he can't just get up and leave the room. He said he doesn't want to do that in front of me also because it would gross me out.
Apparently, it's really bad (all he eats is fast food and energy drinks) and I thought why doesn't he just stop eating that way or see a doctor esp if it's causing a problem. But he said it's always been that way...
I had the problem in a previous relationship and it really bothered me. My ex of 8 years never really farted in front of me either despite having the same stomach issues, so he would go in another room at night and we basically never went to bed at the same time.
 

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TLDR; How do I get my ENTj boyfriend to spend the night twice while not meeting his demand to fart in front of me?
If your SO's flatulence is such a problem then I guess you could buy him some of these:

https://www.amazon.com/Shreddies-USA-Mens-Hipsters-Black/dp/B00LIQ7ZP8/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=charcoal+underwear&qid=1588265883&sr=8-6

You should also work toward changing his diet as a longer term goal.

Although if you have a problem with your SO passing gas, then you'll likely also have difficulty with using the restroom around one another too, and that's completely unavoidable. You're going to have to come to terms that everyone needs a biological break on occasion.
 

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Ola!

I've been noticing ENTJ-seeming friends (including Dad) who end up with impressive partners. Doctors, CEOs, established businessmen, etc

Q1: I was wondering what you look for in a partner and if they deliberately have to be successful or things just unfold this way?

Q2: How important is "love" in your relationships?

Q3: Top regretful things you've done while ina relationship?

Thanks, I'm really curious because I'm not sure if I'm in the right relationship and I don't know what to do about this.
1. As I get older (now married) but I’ve been on this site since I was like 16 and have been thinking about and answering this question since then.

I think the most important thing is that we have a common interest. Thing is ENTJs have such a need to be productive that it’s likely some of our interest are fairly academic or easy to monetize. This means chances are the person we find interesting and can connect to is going to be an impressive individual on their own (my wife graduated college with a 4.0. One of only three students to do so in her graduating class)

I really could care less about societies perception of success in my partner. But I damn well care that she’s beautiful, graceful, and meets her own standards for herself. Just so happens those standards will lead her to success.

2. Wtf do you mean by “love”

3. Honestly one big regret was in a previous relationship. We did a threesome. Was all fun and games and sort of a cool idea to my 18 year old self to do that with my gf and her suite mate. But ultimately it just created way too much drama and mess.
 

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1. As I get older (now married) but I’ve been on this site since I was like 16 and have been thinking about and answering this question since then.

I think the most important thing is that we have a common interest. Thing is ENTJs have such a need to be productive that it’s likely some of our interest are fairly academic or easy to monetize. This means chances are the person we find interesting and can connect to is going to be an impressive individual on their own (my wife graduated college with a 4.0. One of only three students to do so in her graduating class)

I really could care less about societies perception of success in my partner. But I damn well care that she’s beautiful, graceful, and meets her own standards for herself. Just so happens those standards will lead her to success.

2. Wtf do you mean by “love”

3. Honestly one big regret was in a previous relationship. We did a threesome. Was all fun and games and sort of a cool idea to my 18 year old self to do that with my gf and her suite mate. But ultimately it just created way too much drama and mess.
Thank you for your reply.

I asked about #2 (love) because I know that there are people who marry out of convenience, practicality, and companioniship. Eg: If you want to be a successful politician, marrying an S.O. that the public will love (and has many connections through family and friends) can be sound. I also know of women who are in their 30s who are in a relationship with men in power (who are terrible lovers) but they settle with them anyway because it is convenient at this time. They basically just make things work. And I could see how things are working well for a few of them. They support each other's goals without being in-love. I know of a couple who admitted to me that they don't love each other yet ( I don't know how they both define love) but they married because of convenience (man's parents were forcing him to marry and not being married at his age meant he was problematic so the family wanted to save face; the woman was also getting older and it is due time for her to bear a child).
 

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Thank you for your reply.

I asked about #2 (love) because I know that there are people who marry out of convenience, practicality, and companioniship.
Those people are ugly in one way or another. I see no reason someone would settle with something that isn’t love unless they can’t find love.

I’m sure there are ENTJs that marry for these reasons. But chances are they’re ugly.
 

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Ola!

I've been noticing ENTJ-seeming friends (including Dad) who end up with impressive partners. Doctors, CEOs, established businessmen, etc

Q1: I was wondering what you look for in a partner and if they deliberately have to be successful or things just unfold this way?
They've unfolded that way since I've been involved with men who society would perceive as successful and others who wouldn't be defined as such. It's all about chemistry and compatibility.

Q2: How important is "love" in your relationships?
There has to be love or there's no relationship. But love can't stand alone if compatibility isn't there too.

Q3: Top regretful things you've done while ina relationship?
Less about what I've done and more about who I agreed to partner with. Some relationships are mistakes where I accept the responsibility of agreeing to enter them.
 

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Those people are ugly in one way or another. I see no reason someone would settle with something that isn’t love unless they can’t find love.

I’m sure there are ENTJs that marry for these reasons. But chances are they’re ugly.
Hmm. I would've thought of the same. This couplle is far from ugly (physically and mentally).

My friend, the woman in the relationship, spent 5 years in a relationship that didn't work out. Then 2 years on another relationship which failed again. She doesn't have problems getting into a relationship because she's intelligent, beautiful, and attractive overall. But she gets cheated on, or physically abused, etc. Her husband does not look bad himself. They're of different races which cause conflicts. They have even more conflicts because of so many things. My friend, tired of all the drama and disappointments, settles with a man she can trust (the honesty of her husband goes as far as saying he doesn't love her yet). Sometimes, relationships (people in general) are so complicated. I'm so confused honestly. Observing people around me make it seem like having a loving relationship and a well-providing relationship do not go well together. If you attest that this is not the case, well and good. I wish your marriage all the best :D
 

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They've unfolded that way since I've been involved with men who society would perceive as successful and others who wouldn't be defined as such. It's all about chemistry and compatibility.

There has to be love or there's no relationship. But love can't stand alone if compatibility isn't there too.

Less about what I've done and more about who I agreed to partner with. Some relationships are mistakes where I accept the responsibility of agreeing to enter them.
My relationship with my boyfriend started really well. I can say I love him, primarily because I make sacrifices I usually won't make and he makes my heart happy. It's as if I can imagine a life with him and our communication is great too.

2 years after, the honeymoon phase is fading and our individual circumstances have changed. When I reassess our relationship (chemistry and compatibility was and is still there) but the variables have changed. I can take accountability for my decisions (and failed ones) only because I assess my options and decisions as thoroughly as I can. Like now. It's not easy for me to write about more so ask about my life story but not asking is killing me.

My boyfriend worked in the IT industry. He's had a change of heart. He quit his job more than year ago, lives on his savings (he saves really well), and tries to work from home and engage in forex. He's an only child who wants to personally take care of his parents (aged over 60 and 70), which made him decide to work from home. His parents are both deaf and mute (he isn't). I still love him but I'm ambitious. I want so much more than what I have now. He just wants to be the best son he can be. It's not a bad thing but there are so many men who doesn't have the same responsibilities he does. He doesn't want his parents' taken care of by others. Rather than making him compromise (I want to migrate), I feel like I should let him go.

Honestly, if this relationship doesn't work out, I just want to forget the whole concept tof love. Cos I love this person but I also love myself and my goals :( How far do people go for love?
 

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My relationship with my boyfriend started really well. I can say I love him, primarily because I make sacrifices I usually won't make and he makes my heart happy. It's as if I can imagine a life with him and our communication is great too.

2 years after, the honeymoon phase is fading and our individual circumstances have changed. When I reassess our relationship (chemistry and compatibility was and is still there) but the variables have changed. I can take accountability for my decisions (and failed ones) only because I assess my options and decisions as thoroughly as I can. Like now. It's not easy for me to write about more so ask about my life story but not asking is killing me.

My boyfriend worked in the IT industry. He's had a change of heart. He quit his job more than year ago, lives on his savings (he saves really well), and tries to work from home and engage in forex. He's an only child who wants to personally take care of his parents (aged over 60 and 70), which made him decide to work from home. His parents are both deaf and mute (he isn't). I still love him but I'm ambitious. I want so much more than what I have now. He just wants to be the best son he can be. It's not a bad thing but there are so many men who doesn't have the same responsibilities he does. He doesn't want his parents' taken care of by others. Rather than making him compromise (I want to migrate), I feel like I should let him go.

Honestly, if this relationship doesn't work out, I just want to forget the whole concept tof love. Cos I love this person but I also love myself and my goals :( How far do people go for love?
Not sure what any of this has to do with MBTI type. You have disparate goals in life where no one can tell you what to do. It's a choice you'll have to make on your own and once you make that choice, you'll have to live with it, taking full responsibility for your choice.
 

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Not sure what any of this has to do with MBTI type. You have disparate goals in life where no one can tell you what to do. It's a choice you'll have to make on your own and once you make that choice, you'll have to live with it, taking full responsibility for your choice.
It's interesting hearing about what others would do if they were in my situation. Emotions are clouding my judgment and I don't feel comfortable making long-term decisions from this standpoint.

I respect the decision-making of ENTJs I know. I was wondering if I'm better off being more practical than emotional. This is why I asked my questions. Asking great decision-makers of what they'd do if they were on my shoes can be enlightening to me.

Thanks.


It's a choice you'll have to make on your own and once you make that choice, you'll have to live with it, taking full responsibility for your choice.
Yes, and before I live with my decision I need to think which choice will give me the biggest gain and lowest negative outcome.
 

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Not sure my bae is an ENTJ

Hi, ENTJs!

I have been dating for almost 1 year... He took the test (I asked him to) and from that moment on I started questioning if the result was accurate...

What I think is: he displays another personality when he is with me, I guess he shows himself as an ESTJ most of the time... So the deal is with the auxiliary function: is he Si or Ni??? I DONT KNOW.

He enjoys theology and philosophy BUT I think he approaches those topics in such a practical way that I cant see his Ni displaying... I also think that if he in fact was an ENTJ he would probably understand (and also relate to) my Ne problems (but from an introspective point of view).

Long story short, although he likes "abstract" subjects, I think he approaches it in a sensor way... He is very smart, but not so creative. At least not for me... I'm also afraid he leaves me only with the fun part of his life, saving deep discussions to his theologians friends... but maybe he's being real and so he is not an ENTJ but an ESTJ instead! hahahaha

heeeeeeeeelp! :D
 

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Ola!

I've been noticing ENTJ-seeming friends (including Dad) who end up with impressive partners. Doctors, CEOs, established businessmen, etc

Q1: I was wondering what you look for in a partner and if they deliberately have to be successful or things just unfold this way?

Q2: How important is "love" in your relationships?

Q3: Top regretful things you've done while ina relationship?

Thanks, I'm really curious because I'm not sure if I'm in the right relationship and I don't know what to do about this.
1. I won't bullshit, looks matter a lot to me. I am a visual person. It's not all about T and A. It's really the face - the smile, the smirk, even the angry face. I have met people that facially it's very hard for me to not like them because their expressions, voice, mannerisms, it's a very important aspect for me. Personality is also a big thing. I prefer someone upbeat, self confident, and with passion. Intelligence helps but that's not a product of employment, degrees or wealth - I use my own determination of that value. I'd also prefer someone who doesn't expect me to support them but a partner.

2. Love is important unless this is purely sexual in nature. I've had those types of relationships but they are never intended to become real relationships - just fun.

3. Got drunk and kissed another girl. I pride myself on being super faithful and loyal to someone I decided to be with. I was young and failed to live up to my own expectations and obviously that of my partner at the time. It's the only time I've ever done that but it still bothers me that I allowed it to happen.
 

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Help... ENTP... is like a drug. It can't be so... obviously like to hear about how an ENTJ can shut this down (at least for themselves)...
 
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