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Do your relationships tend to revolve around the things that you do? For example, do you find yourself talking much outside of an activity (ex. working out with someone)? When I say relationships, I don't mean a significant other. I mean just in general. I just find that I am the most talkative during an activity and am most stimulated when engaged physically in a situation. This can be anything from the gym or video games.

Also, would you say you take the feelings of others into account often when making decisions or would you say it is usually pretty absent in your decision making process? I find myself constantly attuned to the emotional environment and making decisions both rationally and cooperatively (making the most fair decision to account for the feelings of others).
 
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I find myself constantly attuned to the emotional environment and making decisions both rationally and cooperatively (making the most fair decision to account for the feelings of others).
Sometimes it's necessary to do that for practical reasons. But if you have inferior Fe and you're constantly bending over backwards for the sake of other people's feelings, it won't end well. The inferior function is something that always backfires if you don't actively keep it under control.
 

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My general (non SO) relationships revolve almost exclusively around what I do, which is teach ESL to kids. Hence, conversation is my main activity. Kind of a paradox for me, because it's usually counter-productive for me to be 'talkative'. Professionally speaking, my role is most often to ask 'w-word + you' questions, gauge answers, then throw in other relevant interrogative replies to keep the student's interest level at max and the conversation flowing. "Get 'em talking and keep 'em talking." is my mantra. Occasionally I'll throw in something self-reflective to make comparisons, but I generally withhold "I" expressions unless I'm asked directly (and in correct English :) ). Even then I tailor my replies to be as clear and easily understood as possible. I don't have the luxury of descending to verbiage and long, complex descriptions (which is probably why I post such long, complex descriptions here).

But important to note that most of my casual interactions are with 9 and 10 year old language learners. It's my responsibility to encourage them to express themselves, and express myself in ways that are as easy to understand as possible. Also, it's second nature to me to analyze grammatical correctness, pronunciation, etc. when listening to others, in addition to simply absorbing and processing what's being communicated.

So yes, talking often is the main activity in my general relationships.

Do I take others' feelings into account when making decisions? It's necessary, yes. But do I take their feelings into account during conversation? I consider myself rather adept at sidestepping that. My manner of speech tends to be indirect, impersonal. I usually don't speak 'of the person, to the person'. Instead, I make offhand comparisons using imaginary (or real) third persons, usually concluded with a question mark. For example, I might approach discussion of a real-life situation something like: "If Jack takes for granted that Jill is always going to fetch the pail of water for him, then Jill becomes resentful and decides to fetch the pail of water for the more appreciative John instead, is Jack's ensuing jealousy and anger a valid reaction?" (Heh!)

I've found that people tend to react more rationally when they're confronted in a third person "Jack and Jill" scenario, than they do when confronted with accusatory first person directness.

Digressions...
 

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Yes, my relationships do tend to revolve around stuff that I do. Decisions are often influenced by a combination of other's emotional states and known interests/requirements (for example, choosing dinner with the wife is as much an emotional thing as it is nutritional).
 

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Nope none of my friends were meet through common activities or interests and don't really revolve around it at first. I mean video games and games outside we do, but I've never made a friend through a common interest. Later we find out we do have common interests, but that's later in like a month-ish. As for the decisions part I'll be fair logically in a group situation, but if I'm making a decision for me that doesn't really involve you, fuck you and your feelings I'm doing it anyway. Besides I prefer my decisions to be solo and make them solo.
 

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@Tru7h

Yes and yes.

Basically you can boil it down to the balance between what Ti prioritizes VS what Fe prioritizes. If my Fe is not fully convinced of the merits of a situation, I revert back to Ti decision-making- which is all about: "Would I enjoy this? Would this help me? Would I like to do this?"- self-focused reasonings, as Ti is apt to make. Only when Ti is satisfied, does it takes a backseat to allow Fe the freedom to care about others.

Though it does depend on the activity and my level of involvement. I am more apt to talk and interact during physical or Se-based activities but I don't really put much value into relationships formed during such interactions unless they're also able to match me when it comes to intellectual interests or Ti-views. Like say, during a ice-breaking session, I'd readily participate in any of the proposed games and while I do talk more than I would have otherwise, I'd feel no desire to really reveal my true thoughts or feelings / my true self inside as opposed to the persona I project simply because for all the connections Fe can make, when push comes to shove, Ti always has the greater say.

Because in the end, I don't really trust Fe's judgement- it is too believing and willing to give in for the "greater good" even when it shouldn't. But on the other hand Ti is really way too self-centered and judgmental, as much as I trust in it, it really isn't healthy to live like you're the only one that matters. Thus my struggles are really about finding a balance between the value of solitude (self) and the importance of company (Others). You can't have one without sacrificing something from the other.

It is particularly obvious when an ISTP is in an unhealthy state because they vacillate between the extremes, either taking Ti's sole opinion without seeking a second opinion or blindly following in Fe's direction without questioning the wisdom in doing so- making judgements without looking at the context.

So yes, I do take the feelings of others into account but I tend to look at context of those feelings- are they valid or even relevant to the context of the decision or is it merely a selfish whim, completely unfounded in reality? I'd probably entertain the former, but be less accommodating towards the latter. Because I can do something to resolve the former but the latter is a problem that is beyond me.

Unless I'm in an unhealthy emotional state, Fe is always vetted by Ti, and Ti is always softened up by Fe (the former more rigorously than the latter, but I'm learning to balance them) before I put my opinions out there and make a decision.
 
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