Personality Cafe banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
MOTM July 2012
Joined
·
8,033 Posts
funny, i posted a thread about a similar topic recently - as a Four i feel drawn to Eights...it could be just because the two men i've known best since i was a child (my dad and brother) are both Eights, and i am close to them. my brother was my best friend as a young child and we are still close now that i am an adult, so that one worked out long-term. i find an interesting dynamic with not just my dad and brother, but with Eights in general...

this is the thread: http://personalitycafe.com/type-4-forum-individualist/90756-eights-like-fours-turned-inside-out.html
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,477 Posts
funny, i posted a thread about a similar topic recently - as a Four i feel drawn to Eights...it could be just because the two men i've known best since i was a child (my dad and brother) are both Eights, and i am close to them. my brother was my best friend as a young child and we are still close now that i am an adult, so that one worked out long-term. i find an interesting dynamic with not just my dad and brother, but with Eights in general...

this is the thread: http://personalitycafe.com/type-4-forum-individualist/90756-eights-like-fours-turned-inside-out.html
I guess the attraction is one of those where they "balance each other out" and their differences are not focused on areas in which they detest, like a 1 to an 8 a very rare combo though they're very different.

I see no issue similar to the 1 and 7 combination where 7s have trouble settling down for the long term and 1s want to for max stability.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
75 Posts
I'm a sp 4w5 who dated a sx 8w7 for almost 2 years. To put it lightly, it was... intense. We could have had our own soap opera. It seemed to work perfectly in the beginning-- he drew me out of my shell and begam to introduce me to new experiences, and I calmed him down. We were on different sides of the highschool "hierarchy:" I was an asocial nerd kid, and he was a popular player. But for some reason, he didn't play me. He stuck around because he thought I was mysterious, like an enigma. He wanted me because he couldn't figure me out.

In the beginning, it was nothing but fun. We enjoyed getting to know each other, going out to different places. We were very passionate and had great chemistry. Our conversations were almost always riveting (even if he turned them into arguments every now and then... I hate arguing.) He brought me out of my shell and taught me to embrace my sense of fun-- at first I hated getting dragged to parties, but then I learned how to interact with people and found I liked it. I taught him to embrace his inner self, to explore his depths. Underneath his charming exterior was someone vulnerable and sad. I tried to help him understand himself.

Things got sour. Sometimes, when we went to parties, I felt like he was ignoring me. He was charming and attractive, always poring at himself in the mirror, and I wondered if I was #2 in his heart (after himself.) I always felt like he was trying to change me in some way-- something a Four never wants to feel. His trying to make me more "open" made me want to shut down even more. He would make fun of my nerdiness, and I wondered if he really didn't like it, deep down. He was always "probing" me for answers to things I wasn't ready to reveal just yet. He was pushy and argumentative, and he had a nasty temper. He was fire and I was ice.

Things got even more icy when he tried to take my virginity, and I wouldn't let him, since my religion forbade it before marriage. He said things like "If you really loved me, you'd do it," and I felt like if he really loved me, he'd respect my decisions.

Toward the end of our relationship, I found out that he had cheated on me with someone I thought was my friend in the first couple months. After he found out I knew, he got super clingy. He didn't want me to hang out with any of my guy friends and accused me of having affairs with them. I felt like he was smothering me and shut down even more. He didn't trust me. I didn't trust him. I broke it off with him right after I started college.

He disintegrated. He had always taken pride in his appearance, but after it ended, grew his hair long and wore baggy clothes. He wouldn't socialize, just sitting around at home, playing video games. He tried to guilt-trip me into getting back with him, then tried the poor-me approach, then tried to buy my love with gifts. For almost two years he kept at it. But it was too late-- I knew I could never trust him again. And I never looked back.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
62 Posts
I think I'm probably an 8 and I have a friend who is a 4. I don't know how close we'll be long term, but I really admire him for his humor, writing prowess, and people skills.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top