[Lue4028]

My best friend right now is an ISFJ-A, who I like a lot- but she has a boyfriend so as sparkly as I try to be I don't think I'm the main interest in her life. It's not that I want a "romantic" relationship with her, I just love her personality. I guess I love her more than anyone else because of that.

Sometimes I'm happy she has a boyfriend, it's really interesting to listen to her relationship with him. But other times, I can't say I'm not envious of how much time he gets to spend with her when she skypes him at night.

I'm not needy around her, though I do recognize how much I need her.
Because I'm a very strong INTP-T, understanding feelings, even my own feelings is hard. Worrying over whether some weird emotion that I have no control over will spill out stresses me out all the time. Being afraid to say something wrong/absurd/inappropriate in social interactions is my greatest weakness, but reading people/social queues is of her greatest strengths.

One time she just flat-out asked me what I was afraid of and I have no idea how she could tell. She knows/sees more than I do and perhaps sees right through me.

Because I'm aware that I'm lacking something that ISFJ's have I'd like to learn more about INTP-ISFJ relationships and develop more friendships with ISFJ's. It's not exactly easy though, ISFJ's and INTP's are apparently likely to clash-but my hope is to find people who understand how abnormal my type is and that I want to learn from them.

From what I've read, ISFJ's and INTP's are..
Challenging Opposites

People of the following types (INTP, ITNJ, ENTP, ENTJ) present the most potential for personality clash and conflict with the ISFJ, but also the best opportunities for growth. Because people of these types have fundamentally different values and motivations from the ISFJ's, initially, it may seem impossible to relate. But because they are so different, their strengths are the ISFJ's weaknesses, and if they are able to develop a relationship, they can learn a tremendous amount from each other.

What are your experiences with INTP-ISFJ relationships? What traits do you look for in a relationship and do you have a particular type that interests you? Have you ever clashed with an INTP or the other NT types?

 

[OutOfThisWorld]

I've never been in a relationship with the 4 challenging types for an ISFJ, but I interacted with at least 3 of those types on a regular basis.

ENTJ: Was my boss. A hard ass and demanded excellence from his employees. He was extremely blunt and business-like and didn't really care too much about his employees' personal welfare. However, he was very fair, treated everyone with respect, and pushed himself to work just as hard if not harder. I got along with him pretty decently because he appreciated how hard-working I was and showed enthusiasm to learn. The only times I got upset with him was when I felt he accused me of not doing my job properly when I either was swamped with a ton of other requests or when I was feeling deathly ill, but still showed up to work anyways.

INTP: I worked with one when I was younger at a campus job. He was younger than me and basically said a bunch of observational blunt things at times. He was rather intelligent in his own right and I could see the differences in our functions right off the bat. We 'clashed' a bit, but it's usually just petty squabbles like an old married couple would do. I would say we got along pretty well.

ENTP: I am friends with one for over a decade. Definitely an eye-opener and we are two very different people. We usually got along and he's more wild than I would be with no speech filter. Though, our conversations are pretty amazing as we both like to talk about various intellectual and wtf things. The only times I got annoyed was when he didn't respect certain boundaries I set. He's a great friend and he allows me to see from an ENTP perspective and learn to loosen up some ISFJ tendencies I had.

INTJ: I have a hunch that my dad is an INTJ as we do not get along very well and he fits the INTJ profile to a T. He was a stickler for rules and always expected me to do things for myself at a very young age. Quite blunt and callous with his logical remarks.

NTs and I seem to be drawn to each other for some reason. I know that through interaction with them, I'm pretty resistant to their blunt nature. Their brutal honesty also gave me the courage to start being more upfront and honest about my thoughts and feelings, rather than keep them inside.

If I were to date, types don't really matter to me. All that matters is that my lover was honest, faithful, ability to show love towards me regularly, and willing to communicate and compromise. Along with having a great sense of humor and flexible mindset. Though, I would say INTP or ISTJ would be the types that I'm interested in seeing how we mesh together as a couple.

 

[nemo92]

As an ISFJ, I'm currently in the process of growing a friendship with an INTP (recently met through mutual interests). In answer to your questions though (haven't got hte hang of this quoting thing yet, sorry!)

What are your experiences with INTP-ISFJ relationships?
So far, this is the only known INTP that I've known as an INTP; I'm sure I went to school with a couple but for the life of me I can't remember that well! So.. my experiences so far have been limited; saying that, this one seems to be quite positive. We have a laugh, occasionally it seems a bit strained when we're messaging, although I think (tryign not to over think/over analyse) it's a conflict of schedules, busy times and stuff like that

What traits do you look for in a relationship and do you have a particular type that interests you?
In a relationship... I look for someone that I can trust, is hoenst, and won't play mind games... I won't open up straight away, but even without opening up, I look for someone I feel wholly comfortable with and could talk to. Someone who can hold a debate over an issue is a plus - I can't stand meaningless small talk for anything other than a conversation opener.. As for type.. I'm not too sure.. (fairly new to the whole personality type world), although I'm hoping to get more au fait with it, and work out if there are any patterns.

Have you ever clashed with an INTP or the other NT types?
I'm almost positive that my old manager was some form of an NT, and we clashed horribly. I feel age was a large part of this, as was her impending retirement and me starting out. Can't be 100% positive.. but it was bad enought hat I'm glad she left..

 

[Jehneefur]

What are your experiences with INTP-ISFJ relationships?
I'm an ISFJ-T married to an INTP-A We met online- met in real life 3 months later- got married a month after than & we've been happily married for 6 years now. We have 2 children, 4 & 1 years old. I'm enamored with him. He is such a blessing- I don't think I express my love for him enough.

What traits do you look for in a relationship and do you have a particular type that interests you?
My husband looks like a viking. I was not looking for a relationship when I met him. It is a really crazy story.

Have you ever clashed with an INTP or the other NT types?
I got into MBTI while trying to understand my husband more because we really don't think the same way at all- which is so confusing but I find it so funny. We clashed because I seriously don't understand how his brain works. Now that I know we have completely different perspectives- I don't hold onto my naturally-made expectations. My father is a bad INTJ- he likes to put-down a lot & turn good things into negative things so we never got along really. I'm trying to work on that though & not see him as awful as he is. I have a good girl-friend who's an INTJ and she talks to me because she knows I'm nice & considerate we have clashed but it's only due to misunderstanding.

 

[xraydav]

ENTP: I am friends with one for over a decade. Definitely an eye-opener and we are two very different people. We usually got along and he's more wild than I would be with no speech filter. Though, our conversations are pretty amazing as we both like to talk about various intellectual and wtf things. The only times I got annoyed was when he didn't respect certain boundaries I set. He's a great friend and he allows me to see from an ENTP perspective and learn to loosen up some ISFJ tendencies I had.

This pretty much summarizes what I wanted to say myself. For the OP, I'm not sure how it converts into the INTP-ISFJ connection. If a person is more introverted, I expect their merits in a connection with another, to be more about what one can reveal from their rich inner world: who you are and what you are all about.