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Small talk? What is small talk?

Okay. I'm not sure that small talk is the only problem here. People usually cut off contact with another person because that person has done something to harm them. That something does not necessarily have to be physical. People can be hurt, badly on an emotional level. Especially when it feels like their needs are not being met in a relationship. The fact that this is happening to you all the time is a real worry. You need to get to the source of the problem.

Some more general advice (based on stereotypes) is this. Other people like to know that we value them. And we need to tell them that in a way they can understand. The thing about being an INTJ is you can care your little heart out about another person and they'll never even notice, because the way we choose to show it is somewhat out-of-syc with the other types.

You need to find out more about the other person, what makes them tick and then deliver in a way that makes them feel valued and appreciated. A good start is learning to bite your tongue, ask questions about their day and sometimes just let them talk without offering any opinions. It's about respecting the other person and their boundaries.

Finally, sometimes people of other types don't always get that INTJs need alone time. Try not to punish them or push them away. Explain calmly and patiently your need for space and show that you still respect and value the other person.
 
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