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Discussion Starter #1
I'm naive, in fact clueless on this. Why some people (and it seems it's more like "a lot of people") can't live without posting their life on social networks? anyone can do whatever they want, but I just can't get it. In many ways several situations cross the line between personal stuff and public stuff, in other cases it breaks YOUR line because you were there with X person and suddenly you are everywere, like if you just became a public person just because that someone posted a picture of you together.

Mmm specially some women regarding their BF... is like they are saying "hey remember how all of you at school said I was fucking ugly and would never get a BF? well here he is and I will post gazillion pictures of us". Some can't help but posting what they are about to eat. Seems kind of... lonely to me. I asked about this and discussed in friendly terms the matter with people who behave like this, again: in friendly terms, curious. The results I've had are:


  • Some felt ashamed, showed signs of "damn, this is silly and childish"
  • Some didn't care and shared their reasons to keep doing it (well I'm ok with this, sounds like they just do it and there is not crucial emotional or psychological need to keep doing it).
  • Some got mad... and tried to make me mad blaming me or others of "hating social networks"
  • Extreme cases reacted BADLY to the topic saying "well that's because you don't have fucking friends". This group not only sounds childish, sounds... like a lot of issues at once.

I'm a blood donnor. WTF has to do with the topic? well... I've been friends for years with some of those people, and over the years despite them talking about their "friends", well... in case of trouble... all their social networks don't seem to help at all, nobody helps them to change a tire, when sick, or when needing a drop of blood for them or a relative. I have a fairly good memory and sometimes in those situations I remember the moments where they were talking about their so many friends and their groups, whatsapp groups, etc. So it sounds worse to me, why posting so much personal stuff to your network of friends when you actually have none? I got some people insisting me to answer some technical questions... in some cases I turned into "why don't you ask your gazillion friends?" ha ha.

It would make sense to me if there was actually a sign of some friendship, but it seems to me a lot of people are just looking for validation. I have no problem with social networks, but their use has turned into something I consider (HOW they use it) when considering a relationship. Can't see myself dating someone who takes so many stranger's opinion at heart. It's been an unavoidable conclussion to me.
 

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Well their are two major dangerous behavioral modifications going on due to social media use by my estimation.

The first one is regarding instant dopamine hits that facebook and other social medias provide. The recent interview by the former Facebook admin explains this well.

People have now gotten accustomed to gaining dopamine hits when they get approval, comments and likes etc on their posts. Instead of actually doing things of value with proper motivational pressure and actualized goals that are tangible most people function now with perceived satisfaction from media. This is short term and not sustainable unless devotion to social media is maintained.

The second more dangerous one is a point that Jordan Peterson brought up in a recent interview. He talked about Tinder and how it enables people to attain approval and value due to the sheer number of people a single profile is exposed to.

For example take a not so normal person. They have some weird characteristics with their personality they can improve on and aren't really doing the best they can. Now in the past rejection and disapproval will motivate them to improve more and be a better version of themselves in order to be accepted by the opposite sex.

Now replace that motivation with an app like Tinder. For that person they don't need to fix much because even if their profile gets viewed and rejected by a thousand people it will only take one positive to make them consider that they are valuable enough for such approval and in all likely scenarios they will not be motivated in any way to be better.

We essentially have a world populace of about two and a half generations with maladapted sociocultural values and traits. The eventual results of such a catastrophe are yet to be measured. Thankfully it does not effect everyone though a fair number of people are under it's effects.

As they say only time will tell.
 
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Yeah, well, IMHO, particularly women have always relied on their little friends for guidance and advice.

When I've seen it happening, them trusting their litle coven more than me, I've either criticized the idiocy of my mate in various sorts of language, and/or just started slowly getting ready to move on. Assemble the packing boxes, develop a new plan.

That cannot happen to a woman of mine, for that would mean she is either retarded or weak.

//

However, for the whole social media thing, that's all pretty well-covered above and elsewhere.

You'll just have to decide if you're happy being with a retarded child or if you need a traditionally socially-adept women with traditional intellectual and cultural interests.

Can't answer that for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thanks for the comments. We all might grow up (mature enough) to distinguish between things that are actually different. Like when something bothers you being different when it just something that is not right, something wrong, perhaps doesn't affect you but it is wrong, or smells... meaning the reasons for that attitude have nothing positive to bring to the relationship.

I remember having a relationship with this woman who was very, very into her religion. Many things we discussed were meaningless because at the end, what matters was what the preacher said, so you could have a talk about X and then one month later her posture was modified, influenced by someone by the church, in other words she didn't have an opinion on her own. Everything was being exposed to other people opinions.

Her conclusion when we talked about this was "oh so you don't have faith, don't believe in God". Sure a very off comment, but today it sounds like what people say when you tell them "you live at the light of social networks, to the light of what other people say" and they andswer things like "oh so you hate facebook". Well it wouldn't be the first time or the last time that people react in childish ways like the problem is in you rather than on them.

Me? many people don't get the topic is not about me, but about them. Like a simple question of why do you have that car that doesn't work, same with social networks, why so much effort... if... when you are in need of a friend none of them are available. Seems like a waste of time, and the problem comes when X situation makes this evident, they might not process the moment the right way and might take it on you.
 
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