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And I am an INTP- sexual 5w4. Maybe some are going to tell me “because you haven’t been with the right person”. I don’t know what a “right relationship” is. I just know that neither of my dating experiences have been enjoyable. It was like spending time with a stranger who maybe has issues (anger, etc) and if he doesn’t, he was an alien, someone who I can’t consider even my friend. I don’t understand this majority of people who prefer the company of their partner to friends, even in the early phases of relationship when they don’t know each other well, and consider their SO the most intimate person of their life.
I’m pretty sociable for an introvert. I enjoy being with my friends and in group hangouts- sometimes very much. I even managed an amateur little hiking group that left me lots of beautiful memories. I usually feel comfortable and accepted to a good extent among the mentioned friends/acquaintances. I also enjoy spending time alone. For example, if I want to visit my favorite sites of the city I definitely prefer to go there with someone I know appreciates it and I am happy with- it’s never my dates, whose behavior easily disappoints me: not liking what I like, thinking about sexual advances everywhere, nagging about their lives, not sharing my feelings and not enjoying the moment. They often seemed indifferent to these issues though, and just wanted to be with a girl, maybe along with some conventional dating rituals.

That said, while I’m not an often horny person, I’m not asexual/demi-sexual either: I can feel attracted to strangers and fantasize about doing sexy things with them. I have sexual fantasies every single day. I do want sex in my relationships- but admittedly, my experiences haven’t been so exciting as the society and media promised. Maybe boring for the most part.

I have no idea of what an “enjoyable” relationship can be. But I know that mine weren’t. I have to deal with my inferior Fe all the time while I am dating someone; going through mood swings, emotion rushes, unusual stress (I hardly ever am anxious otherwise) and losing my energy without a desirable result.
Does it have anything to do with my Myers Briggs/Enneagram type?
 

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This is how I feel about friendship, not romance. Friendship drains the shit out of me and I'm that fake bitch who only wants to show I'm a friend when I feel like it. I don't answer texts, PMs (I barely post here and I have 12 unread PMs), DMs, nor phone calls. I find friends distracting. I wanna sit here and read about the Babylonian devil trap and you're out here expecting me to answer you right away? Bet.

Romance I always have endless energy for, perhaps excessively. Like if I just spent several days at my partner's house and then go home, it's not enough. I'll be thinking about them, maybe creating problems out of thin air. The excess energy leads to me channeling it in a negative way frequently.
 
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I've often felt this way in relationships... BUT I've had some great ones now... When it feels good I call it Vibing for shorthand. If the vibe isn't there... I might as well not try... It's going to waste my time... Or as in the case of my marriage... I constantly tried to "figure it out" for about 10 years... I don't suggest that... but it did feed into my desire to gain knowledge. But part of it may just be 5 bad habits... I've done a lot of work now to trust my instincts... and be more in my body that helps a lot. If you're trying to figure the other person out as a 5... that means they bring you into your head... they won't help you grow, you'll never truely be able to figure out another person... I'd say it's a bad match, or more work needs to be done to get out of your head, which I realize isn't easy... Now I'm in my head when I want to be and because it can feel good. But I don't let it control me.
 
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