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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So, I was curious as to whether & how a person's Tritype might affect their intimate relationships (marriage, dating, or otherwise).

Do you think Tritype matters in relationships? How do you think Tritype effects a relationship?

I'd love anecdotal evidence from your own relationship or other people you know's relationships, articles, evidence, facts, everything and the kitchen sink! I'd love to know. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I'll start this off. . .

I am Tritype 7w6 1w2 4w5 (7-1-4).

My husband is tritype 9w8 6w5 XwX (9-6-x).

I'm not sure of my husband's last tritype type; I believe it's either type 4 or type 2. I cannot decide.

I noticed that my husband and I both go to the image center last. This is a feature that is very apparent in our relationship, we are both not very image or "success" focused. It makes for a very comfortable, relaxing take on life; & I love that we can share that together. I feel it also makes us a bit more grounded and honest with ourselves and one another.

We also both might share a 4 heart center fix, but I am not sure how that plays into our relationship. Type 6 also plays a large role in our marriage (for both good and bad). We can both be kind of reactive and volatile, but we both enjoy security, safety, and loyalty. It brings highs and lows.

I have read that people with similar Tritypes will tend to relate best to one another, and I'm curious if this plays out in marriage. I personally have only ever dated Type 9's (I guess I have a thing for them); so I don't think this could be very true for me (I am positive I do not have a Type 9 in my Tritype -and honestly- I think that's why I love them: they calm me down!) XD
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
[Double Post]

Apologies! :tongue:
 

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Me, my brother, and my dad are all 864. General theme seems to be attraction towards those with 268 tritype - my mother, stepmother, and brother's girlfriend are all of that type.
 

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I think it plays a role after you accept them as a person (type then AFTER you are with them. That said, here's where I'm at.

I'm a 3w4-5w6-9w8 sp/sx

I've dated plenty of 6's, the two that stick out are a 6w5-9w8-2w3 sx/so, and a 6w7-8w7-3w2 so/sx both relationships were chaotic. I was very incongruent with the first one, and the second was just incongruent to me.

The one I loved first (and actually) was a 7w8-9w1-4w5 sx/so super awesome, passionate and risky. I didn't want to break it off, but I did ultimately because she was too all over. Too much.

Right now I'm with an amazing girl, who I'll probably be with for ages. She's a 9w8-5w6-2w3 sp/sx. Very similar to me with slightly more humanity. It's a straightforward, easy, but deep relationship. No trust or jealousy issues, zero judgement towards each other, and we both slip away into introspection enough. It's a fantastic interplay.
 

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I've read a book called "Sex, love and your personality", written by sex therapist Mona Coates that applies the Enneagram in her counselling. According to the author, there are 5 factors which play an important role in compatibility of the Enneagram types.

1) Love map (matching expectations, rules towards what role your partner should play in the relationship)
2) Psychological health (unhealthy/average/healthy)
3) Same instinctual subtype (sx/so/sp)
4) Similar harmonic triad (positive, competency, reactive)
5) Connecting lines (the types which are link in the stress and growth lines). This is where the 'opposites attract' theory comes into play. E.g. if you are type 8, then types 2 and 5 balance you.

You can either fulfill 4 or 5, not both
 

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I'm 478 tritype, and I'm incapable of forming relationships (marriage, dating, or otherwise).

I know why this is according to the principles therein, but I tend to think that it's not related to tritype as much as it is to core type. Not that I have any evidence...lol.

/self-irony
 

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According to Don Riso and the Faurves, the instinctual subtype plays an important role in relationship compatibility since it enables both individuals to be on the same wavelength. In terms of relationships, the core type plays the most important role rather than the tritype because the secondary and third type are merely nuances.
 

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I'm a 639, and my partner, whom I just broke up with was a 538. We lasted for about three years before our relationship fell apart. It was not pretty when it did. In the end, it was essentially her 8 and my 6 clashing.
 

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My S/O is a 371 and I am a 793. I think sharing two fixes does help us to understand each other better and we are very much on the same wavelength. But more importantly IMO we are both social. I am so/sx and she is so/sp. I can't imagine being in a long term relationship with someone social last. I also think it is beneficial to us that we cover each other's blind spots in that I am sp last and she is sp second and she is sx last and I am sx second.

I can see myself being with just about any type/tritype, but the instincts are so fundamental that I think being very different there would cause a lot of friction. My sister is sp/sx (9w8 974) and her husband is sx/sp (4w3 416) and they are very on the same page. They understand each other very well. My mom and her husband on the other hand have some major issues. My mom is sp/so (729) and her husband is sx/sp (873) and they give off the distinct impression that he is passionately devoted to her while she is just waiting for him to die so she can be wealthy by herself and not have him sniffing around her all day...lol
 
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