Personality Cafe banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I have been wondering about my fellow ENFJs: how do they feel about being questioned about everything, especially the most redundant and mundane details they can think of, by (usually) s types?

It seems to be one of my pet peeves. I did not realize how much I dislike it before being subjected to that (by a well-meaning friend). I never liked it, but now my dislike is growing exponentially.

I think my dislike of it stems from two things:

1 - Usually details they ask about I deem as unimportant and therefore not worthy to waste my mental energy on. When someone asks about it, they require me to remember the details that I already threw out of my mind. It's tiresome.

2 - I am always very careful in not overly questioning people. I do it subtly. I am very sensitive about what to ask about, and what not. I would never just out right ask someone about something that could be hurtful to talk about. Yet, people do that to me, and I really dislike that. Why can't they be subtle and gentle?

So I just wanted to see how you feel about that?
Is it our Ni that makes us want to oppose relentless cold questioning with all our might? :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,262 Posts
Ditto. I have come to hate saying more than needs to be said.

Si types just like to try lots of things and see what works. Hence the interrogation tactics they use!! Hahah. Ugh. I think you have to learn to figure out what they're fishing for and just give it to them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,228 Posts
I could see why it would bother you. It's a slight annoyance at best but occasionally during the relentless questions I actually find out I diidn't think a plan all the way through or rather there is a gap that I haven't thought out
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
962 Posts
I'm quite inquisitive myself at times, so I try to be patient with people when they ask me questions.

One thing I do hate is when people try to ask me questions while I'm drawing. If you're gonna interrupt me and ask me what I'm drawing, you should at least complement me before you ask. I get very annoyed when people come up and ask "What are you drawing?" Sometimes, I don't really know—I'm just doodling. If they ask "How do you not know, but keep drawing?" or something else annoying like that, it makes me want to rip the page out, sign it with an obnoxiously huge smiley face, and say "KEEP IT!" or something to that effect (I usually control myself though, but man it annoys me).

If an ISTP was taking interest in me, I'd be super flattered though. :blushed:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,250 Posts
In this case it was proper Ti Se questioning (istp). They want to know EVERY LITTLE DETAIL ugh :D
Isn't that funny! When I was reading OP I was thinking "hmm, this sounds like something I would do".

My style of conversation frequently results in stepping on people's toes. Not because I'm inconsiderate though - I never ask questions that I wouldn't want to be asked. In fact I frequently don't ask some questions that I think might be perceived as rude, even though I personally wouldn't consider it rude if people asked me such a question.

The reason I ask all sorts of details, is because I need to have a good understanding of what's going on, before I can decide what to do/say. I think that's a fairly typical ISTP approach too.

And to make some comments to your OP:

1. I never ask about irrelevant details. I don't care about irrelevant details. If I ask for something, it's because I need this piece of information to come to a conclusion. Sometimes there are many pieces of information I need before I can come to a conclusion. This is usually very irritating to FJ-types who have different methods for coming to conclusions.

2. I can see the value in being subtle and considerate when gathering information about people. Sadly, it's an extremely inefficient way of gathering information and it takes forever. My patience on the other hand doesn't last even a 10th of forever. Here's a suggestion how to deal with ISTPs who ask direct questions - give them direct answers. For example: "I consider this question too personal and rude and I don't want to answer it". You will notice that with enough training we can step less and less on your toes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Thanks gte :D Luckilly this ISTP is my fairly good friend, so I am sort of mid-way trying to train them. Maybe something will stick :)
I think in this particular situation it was questions regarding something painful that I am going through that got me so rattled. Since we are friends, but usually meet at work (we work in the same place,but our relationship goes beyond work colleagues), it is a place that is ESPECIALLY not conducive to an ENFJ that tries to hide a broken heart and preserves harmony and just tries to make out how I feel about all this through my subconscious Ni, to have questions that I feel as very harsh be sprung on me. I think it was the whole context that annoyed me, not just the fact that I felt "questioned".

In general I find ISTPs delightful and had quite a few ISTP friends. It's just this questioning thing... UGH :D :p
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top