You need to accept that life is going to be a balance of deeper and more superficial experiences. You'll never have to let go of valuing deep relationships, you don't have to lower your expectations, but you need to broaden them. Life is about learning how you can find happiness in your environment.I always need more time than expected, because what if I make the same mistakes again?
I don't want to undergo positive experiences without enough of my personal meanings attached to them. I cannot help it. I wouldn't feel like going out with friends or even meeting new people unless I feel that it is meaningful and deep enough to do so. I admit it's quite unhealthy and it has resulted in me wondering if my idealism is destructing me and getting in the way of my social needs, but I pay too much attention to meaning, value and avoiding past mistakes. I want my interactions to almost never be superificial. My expectations are complex at this point of my life.
What past mistakes are you trying so hard to avoid? Mistakes are important, they're how we learn, but they shouldn't limit us. If your past mistakes are limiting you, you aren't learning from them at all, you're surrendering to them. NT-style thinking would be helpful for you here. So you've made a mistake - what was wrong with your approach? How can you adjust your approach to promote a better outcome in the future?
You're over-thinking now. Maybe there isn't an answer you can find by worrying and analyzing. And sometimes you have to get roughed up a bit in life in order to find what you want and follow your dreams. See, I can be idealistic too. But the best thing is being idealistic and then applying that to your real life and living it.I guess I have to try and eat, sleep more healthily, but what if I end up over thinking?