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Discussion Starter #1
"Repressed" ENTP - Is my Ne broken? Strong Ti? Want change, direction, growth.

Hey personality cafe. I've been reading around the forums for awhile now learning about typology and the MBTI.

Base Question:
Some things have been bothering me. I test as an ENTP almost all the time, and I agree with quite a bit of what "normal" ENTP personalities do. Some things about the type bother me. I'm not witty, I rarely have good comebacks. I would LOVE to develop that spontaneous adventure thing I read about. Dr Who is like that at times. Who else can I watch?

As a little kid I was very friendly. I would walk away from my parents and say hello to everyone. I tinkered with things, shut down lights in stores, disabled elevators..ha ha. As a little kid I idolized Spock and Vulcan on Star Trek, and strove to be like them. I REALLY want to undo that now.

I can still smile and talk to people, but I have a hard time turning on the ENTP charm. I can still smile and say hello but I have no idea what to say to people after that. I don't have that wit. Words don't flow from me. I need to lighten up and re-engage that Ne, I think. How? My mind is dead at times. I'm missing that drive, cocky confidence. Maybe I should read more, engage the imagination, try doing art? Advice? I dont really joke. I've gotten too serious.

Ne is creative and thinks a bear and a tree can be comapired. I dont really do that. I just look and thing "oh, well, cool" That's it.

I dont think I'm an INTP becouse of how I was as a child, and that I get really down if I've been alone for days.






More Details:
My mind is like a fog sometimes with no words or pictures, all intuition or "just do" mode. I wont be really focused on a task at hand. I think it's because of this I can never find words. An example is just the other day I was leaving my friends house. I was looking around the house as I walked out and he asks what I'm looking for. I don't know what I'm looking for or why, I'm just looking. It turns out I forgot a tool he gave me earlier in the day. I feel, braindead. Maybe I should read more.

I forget details. Tell me your name, I will remember you, but not your name. That's common and not such a big deal, but I also forget artists and bands. If I were to go see a concert (by myself, as I have like 1 friend) I can't say I want to go see XYZ person. If I hear their song, I think "I would go to this concert". I hear an add that some artist putting on a concert and I will not know who they are or what they sing. I'm missing a connection.

I dont feel like I'm knoledable in lots of things.

If I am around someone who is better or more confident than me at something - I shut down. Go completely inside. I hate that. I am missing that ENTP I love myself role. I want it. I am at times argumentative, but I need to KNOW that I'm on the upper hand.
 

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That's my comprehensive response.
 

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More than anything you seem like you have a low self-esteem. Work on your inner game by just thinking positive things about yourself. You sound a bit depressed as well, and that has a factor in you saying you lacking the wittiness and social skills. I was there at some point but I just decided to get through it by tackling these challenges and as a result I am now one of the most social people out there (like I literally start conversations everywhere) and am considered a funny man. How old are you by the way?
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Yeah, you see, that would have never even OCCURED to me. But that is freaking funny, only becouse I've done that before!


YourMom - I agree with that. How do I start that process? I'm 26, which is the sad part.

I've gotten so used to zip in to work or the classroom and zip out. I need to say "hey, X hold up" and talk.
 

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... My mind is like a fog sometimes with no words or pictures, all intuition or "just do" mode. I wont be really focused on a task at hand. I think it's because of this I can never find words. An example is just the other day I was leaving my friends house. I was looking around the house as I walked out and he asks what I'm looking for. I don't know what I'm looking for or why, I'm just looking. It turns out I forgot a tool he gave me earlier in the day. I feel, braindead. Maybe I should read more.
Perhaps you are attempting to use your introverted intuition? ENTPs can slip into INTJ-like mode under moderate stress (although for N-dominant types definition of stress doesn't quite follow the standard one, stress can be caused by being comfortably stuck in one place without any changes). I feel braindead at times, doing things and then somewhere in the mid-point forgetting why I was doing them, or not even remembering why I started doing this in the first place, just kind of spacing out in this mental fog. But if you look closely at what the fog was composed of it was probably trying to make things click together. It does not have to be something very important, incredibly relevant, and highly philosophical. It can be tiles on the floor and specific pattern you spotted in them. Or it can be that one blue house you spotted when driving around that just happened to imprint itself in your memory for reasons unknown. You were thinking about something.

I forget details. Tell me your name, I will remember you, but not your name. That's common and not such a big deal, but I also forget artists and bands. If I were to go see a concert (by myself, as I have like 1 friend) I can't say I want to go see XYZ person. If I hear their song, I think "I would go to this concert". I hear an add that some artist putting on a concert and I will not know who they are or what they sing. I'm missing a connection.
If you are a visual learner who thinks in pictures you are more likely to remember people's faces, their general looks, rather than their names. All in all, details are not the strong point of N-dominant types. It feels like once your mind has interconnected the objects and everything clicked together, it then can just somehow forget what those objects were in the first place.
 

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Hm, I identify with some of the things you said, OP, although not with other things. I've struggled in the social arena too, and I do have decent conversational skills. I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone, but it's just initiating that I have a problem with. I was a definite extrovert as a child, though, which leads me to believe that I'm an E, and you are too in all likelihood.

Have you looked into enneagram theory at all?
 

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It is possible to be a shy or reserved extrovert. I tend to be reactive rather than proactive socially, in that I rarely initiate contact and when living on my own was quite isolated. This is probably why I am comfortable with a very extrovert life partner. He generates the social situations, and I go along for the ride, get energised by that.

You don't have to try to be a "typical" ENTP, if you're reserved then that's you, but it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with that. But if you want to change things then think about what things you value and what you like to spend time doing, and go and do that.
 

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I can strike up a conversation with just about anyone, but it's just initiating that I have a problem with. I was a definite extrovert as a child, though
there's a tendency to around here to confuse empathy with extraversion

I've got a lot of the ENTP we're talking about what I want, because I just feel like verbally masturbating thing going, but I can turn it off as well

soon after college, I read some sales books, and started using the techniques to achieve one objective: to get women in bars to talk about themselves....it worked so well, I went from talking about random shit chicks didn't care about, to listening to chicks talk about random shit I didn't care about, nonetheless it put me in control of the conversation

you can learn how to start a conversation, it's not like everyone does it naturally
 

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Well basically the reason ENTP's joke and use wit and charm is because Ne gives them a really clear grasp on the way the world works, the way individual people work, and the way social situations work. So we always kind of feel like we're above water and just sitting back, comfortably watching other people trying to swim. So we're consequently light-hearted and see the humour in everything.

What can you do? Maybe try to diversify your everyday experiences? I always use the metaphor of "feeding" Ne regularly in order to keep the system healthy and operational. Ne is perceiving, it's about reacting to exterior inspirations. So we need to provide that for ourselves. For me, spontaneity and adventure is kind of about jumping into the unknown without aspiring to find anything in particular, but knowing that I'll more than likely have an interesting experience for better or for worse, and feel refreshed and inspired at the end of the day. Ne food. Ne is not a picky eater but it needs to feed frequently.
 

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I know that if I get myself too locked into J-mode, my creativity/wit/spontaneity go right out the window. I'm just like an adrenaline-fueled robot hopping from task to task.

It's really easy to do unfortunately, if you get too obsessed with schedules, planning, micromanaging yourself, getting too pissed if things don't go as you intended, etc.

If your schedule permits it, arrange some time to really take it easy.
 

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I know that if I get myself too locked into J-mode, my creativity/wit/spontaneity go right out the window. I'm just like an adrenaline-fueled robot hopping from task to task.

It's really easy to do unfortunately, if you get too obsessed with schedules, planning, micromanaging yourself, getting too pissed if things don't go as you intended, etc.

If your schedule permits it, arrange some time to really take it easy.
More than that, just stop giving a shit. Don't get so attached to life. Just live for fun. Motivation is good, but see life as a game, not a chore.
 

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Like the above posters, you're in stress and encased.

As much as ENTPs sound like the arrogant, cocky, crazy wild people, I don't think we're all the same anyway. So don't beat yourself just because you seem more introverted and don't fit into the stereotypical mold of a "ENTP". I'm pretty introverted in front of acquaintances and nobody can extinguish me from an INTP unless they have known me for a long time.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Perhaps you are attempting to use your introverted intuition? ENTPs can slip into INTJ-like mode under moderate stress (although for N-dominant types definition of stress doesn't quite follow the standard one, stress can be caused by being comfortably stuck in one place without any changes). I feel braindead at times, doing things and then somewhere in the mid-point forgetting why I was doing them, or not even remembering why I started doing this in the first place, just kind of spacing out in this mental fog. But if you look closely at what the fog was composed of it was probably trying to make things click together. It does not have to be something very important, incredibly relevant, and highly philosophical. It can be tiles on the floor and specific pattern you spotted in them. Or it can be that one blue house you spotted when driving around that just happened to imprint itself in your memory for reasons unknown. You were thinking about something.
YES. This resonates with me. I just didn't have the words. It's like I learn something new, like a new dance, I think about it, think about it, do it, do it, screw it up then I don't think any more.

If you are a visual learner who thinks in pictures you are more likely to remember people's faces, their general looks, rather than their names. All in all, details are not the strong point of N-dominant types. It feels like once your mind has interconnected the objects and everything clicked together, it then can just somehow forget what those objects were in the first place.
Yes Yes Yes!

Ennegram types me as a 7. And I think, enthusiast? About WHAT! I've got nothing too big. I'm not Dr. Who.


soon after college, I read some sales books, and started using the techniques to achieve one objective: to get women in bars to talk about themselves....it worked so well, I went from talking about random shit chicks didn't care about, to listening to chicks talk about random shit I didn't care about, nonetheless it put me in control of the conversation

you can learn how to start a conversation, it's not like everyone does it naturally
I can sometimes stat conversations but it's all logical. I'm X, What do you do, Why are you here, How long have you X...etc. I know poeple like to talk about themselves and that not everyone wants to talk to me, but I feel like I could be that guy who is really good at grabbing attention and making people ENJOY the conversation.
I'm in Toastmasters and give GREAT speaches, but struggle with Small Talk! Great.

Why is it I have the confidence to go up to the girl that I think likes me in an electronics store, say "do this" and hold out my hand, turn her, and teach her to dance Salsa yet I cant TALK to her. It's like I'm in presentation mode or something.

I dont think I'm boring. I will sing to good song on the radio, blast music in the car..etc Just limited in conversation.. ::Shrugs::

Braindead! I get it. Feed Ne.

So I'm stressed and need to stop giving a shit, get out of INTJ mode, and loosen up. How? Where do I start?
 

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YES. This resonates with me. I just didn't have the words. It's like I learn something new, like a new dance, I think about it, think about it, do it, do it, screw it up then I don't think any more.

Yes Yes Yes!
Ennegram types me as a 7. And I think, enthusiast? About WHAT! I've got nothing too big. I'm not Dr. Who.

I can sometimes stat conversations but it's all logical. I'm X, What do you do, Why are you here, How long have you X...etc. I know poeple like to talk about themselves and that not everyone wants to talk to me, but I feel like I could be that guy who is really good at grabbing attention and making people ENJOY the conversation.
I'm in Toastmasters and give GREAT speaches, but struggle with Small Talk! Great.

Why is it I have the confidence to go up to the girl that I think likes me in an electronics store, say "do this" and hold out my hand, turn her, and teach her to dance Salsa yet I cant TALK to her. It's like I'm in presentation mode or something.

I dont think I'm boring. I will sing to good song on the radio, blast music in the car..etc Just limited in conversation.. ::Shrugs::

Braindead! I get it. Feed Ne.

So I'm stressed and need to stop giving a shit, get out of INTJ mode, and loosen up. How? Where do I start?
Small talk is difficult for all N-dominant types, because we want to talk about concepts, connections between things, talk in tangents. Most of the population out there that you will be interacting with are sensors, who want you to talk about concrete specific things that can be picked up by the senses and talk about them in a somewhat linear manner. You're among the many many intuitives who struggle with this in social settings.

INTJs and INFJs commonly have this problem with coming up with things to say in a conversation. Ni prefers to be the silent observer rather than the talkative initiator. It does work very very quietly and prefers you to isolate yourself while it is busy calculating out relationships between the things you have observed. In conversations it tells you that many things are not meaningful, intelligent, or interesting to say, may leave your mind forever grasping for that topic it finally deems worthy for a long time.

How to break the Ni episodes I have no idea. Periodically I have Ne breaking through and it lasts anywhere from days to weeks. Usually it is because I have been stuck doing same things for too long and really need a change. Perhaps it works in the opposite for ENxP that you have been experiencing a lot of changes and need time to process them?
 

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I know exactly what your talking about. I'm pretty much the same way, just slightly not as bad most of the time. There has been times I'm just completely brain dead, you could ask 2+2=? and I'd have to count it out in my head. My conversation skills are crap unless you manage to set off a tangent, then its back to normal as soon as its over. The only time I really feel like any of these descriptions is when I'm with close/good friends, and I'm more focused on the group and having fun. People have to work to see the true ENTP side of me. I hate it too.
 

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Hey personality cafe. I've been reading around the forums for awhile now learning about typology and the MBTI.

Base Question:
Some things have been bothering me. I test as an ENTP almost all the time, and I agree with quite a bit of what "normal" ENTP personalities do. Some things about the type bother me. I'm not witty, I rarely have good comebacks. I would LOVE to develop that spontaneous adventure thing I read about. Dr Who is like that at times. Who else can I watch?

As a little kid I was very friendly. I would walk away from my parents and say hello to everyone. I tinkered with things, shut down lights in stores, disabled elevators..ha ha. As a little kid I idolized Spock and Vulcan on Star Trek, and strove to be like them. I REALLY want to undo that now.

I can still smile and talk to people, but I have a hard time turning on the ENTP charm. I can still smile and say hello but I have no idea what to say to people after that. I don't have that wit. Words don't flow from me. I need to lighten up and re-engage that Ne, I think. How? My mind is dead at times. I'm missing that drive, cocky confidence. Maybe I should read more, engage the imagination, try doing art? Advice? I dont really joke. I've gotten too serious.

Ne is creative and thinks a bear and a tree can be comapired. I dont really do that. I just look and thing "oh, well, cool" That's it.

I dont think I'm an INTP becouse of how I was as a child, and that I get really down if I've been alone for days.






More Details:
My mind is like a fog sometimes with no words or pictures, all intuition or "just do" mode. I wont be really focused on a task at hand. I think it's because of this I can never find words. An example is just the other day I was leaving my friends house. I was looking around the house as I walked out and he asks what I'm looking for. I don't know what I'm looking for or why, I'm just looking. It turns out I forgot a tool he gave me earlier in the day. I feel, braindead. Maybe I should read more.

I forget details. Tell me your name, I will remember you, but not your name. That's common and not such a big deal, but I also forget artists and bands. If I were to go see a concert (by myself, as I have like 1 friend) I can't say I want to go see XYZ person. If I hear their song, I think "I would go to this concert". I hear an add that some artist putting on a concert and I will not know who they are or what they sing. I'm missing a connection.

I dont feel like I'm knoledable in lots of things.

If I am around someone who is better or more confident than me at something - I shut down. Go completely inside. I hate that. I am missing that ENTP I love myself role. I want it. I am at times argumentative, but I need to KNOW that I'm on the upper hand.
Based on this you do not sound like an ENTP at all. Have you taken a look at the functions?

More than anything you seem like you have a low self-esteem. Work on your inner game by just thinking positive things about yourself. You sound a bit depressed as well, and that has a factor in you saying you lacking the wittiness and social skills. I was there at some point but I just decided to get through it by tackling these challenges and as a result I am now one of the most social people out there (like I literally start conversations everywhere) and am considered a funny man. How old are you by the way?
He does sound like he suffers from a low self esteem. Also, I have a question for him: Do have horrible anxiety problems? My anxiety often fucks up my wittiness and usual happy-go-lucky mindset. Does this happen to you? This may be the source of your so called, "malfuntioning Ne".
 
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Discussion Starter #18
You know. I could be anxious. I have no idea how to tell. Very rarely does my heart race or palms sweat or anything like that. It's happened before. Sometimes I think hard, and shut down...

Maybe I'm an INTP over an ENTP..
 

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You sound like you are going through something similar to me.

As a kid I used to be seriously outgoing, talking to the old ladies in the street, to everyone at school and always being the energetic fun kid.

But then I got hit by a bout of depression (and it sounds like that's what you have really) and all that life seemed to just drain away. I was the same as you... had a total lack of wit, was slow to converse so much so that it would get awkward for the person conversing with me because half the time I would just grunt out one word answers and then wait for them to say something. It felt like I had lost the basic understanding of how to converse.
Although as a side note, it made me very good at listening. Girls would really open up to me and often sleep with me after talking to me for just 1 hour. I wouldn't say barely a word for all that time, but it was a one way conversation which didn't require me to be witty or sharp or on the ball, but just to listen.

I don't know if you can relate to any of that, but what I did to get out of it (and its an ongoing process) was to get away from my old lifestyle temporarily. I was starting to lose my friends and stuff and needed to go somewhere where I could build myself from the bottom up again, slowly making my way into a group rather than jumping right in to the centre of attention from the start.

Part of me thinks that this depressive stage is something that all 'out there' ENTP types go through. It is a time when we get grounded with society and those around us and grow up a little. Before I was a kind of wacky witty guy who had loads of friends, but rather than being equals, it felt like they were almost being carers for me (I only noticed this in hindsight, during my depressive stage) - that had to change.
Now I am more aware of myself, I discovered introspection (before I never thought about me at all - just the things around me), I understand relationship dynamics better etc. Before I was just a hurricane of energy ploughing through everything in its path and I guess if you carry on along that path for ever, you will end up as one of those wacky professor types - not what I wanted.

Do you think maybe the same is happening with you? Lots of people say that ENTP's go through a sort of 'moment of realisation' period. Maybe this is it.

P.S. My wit and humour is picking up again, but this time it is more controlled and appropriate to a given situation. The wit returns when your mind stops being hindered by anxiety and is free to think again.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
YES YES YES.. Part of that resonates with me very much! I want out of this damn funk! Out Out Out. I have lost a bunch of weight and went out and bought ALL new clothes because the old stuff doesn't fit me. I'm going to go hit up some clubs and go say hi to EVERYONE I can and see what happens.


I would LOVE to know how you got girls to sleep with you by listening to them... I listen alot, esp to this one girl that works with me, and I try and help her and give her solid eye contact. However someone has to initiate intimacy. The things she tells me though, i don't think she tells many people.

I am pretty odd.. compared to most.
 
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