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So does anybody else have this problem? It would be lovely to read about it.

As example, something will happen that annoys me. It's stupid to be annoyed about however, so I ignore it - but it happens more often, and I start to get pissed off more each time. That, again, makes me believe my reaction is too extreme given the situation, so I disregard it again. The cycle continues.

This happens with about everything. My real life friends have started to use "Are you ever mad or sad about ANYTHING?" as a catchphrase, even. I like to say yes, I like to believe I am "rational" enough to not have extreme emotions, but even I know that's bullshit. My reactions can be quite extreme, I just don't express them to others.

It's come so far that I honestly don't know whether I have feelings of doubt or just thoughts of faked doubt. But then, when I feel like ranting about them to someone, (typical INxP style) I think: "But I don't feel bad enough to reach out to someone. I'm merely doing this because I want them to pity me, I don't feel bad!", so I just don't do it and distract myself instead.

I'd like to know if anyone experiences this, and if you can think of any connection to our type. Last shadow function Fi, maybe? Advice?
 

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The trick is to channel the emotion through rational channels and then used it as source of energy to what is needed.

If you do that correctly you will act more assertive and with 'character' as they call it without loosing it and being emotional. Use emotions for what they are worth, do not just waste them.
 

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I used to repress my emotions. It's not healthy, was causing all kinds of problems. I let them out now in a constructive way though. And I have other activities such as excercise, sports watching where I can let all my emotions boil out at full bore making it easier to handle them in other situations.
 

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So does anybody else have this problem? It would be lovely to read about it.

As example, something will happen that annoys me. It's stupid to be annoyed about however, so I ignore it - but it happens more often, and I start to get pissed off more each time. That, again, makes me believe my reaction is too extreme given the situation, so I disregard it again. The cycle continues.
Yes indeed. Then all of a sudden I'll quit the job, dump the friend, or whatever.

This happens with about everything. My real life friends have started to use "Are you ever mad or sad about ANYTHING?" as a catchphrase, even. I like to say yes, I like to believe I am "rational" enough to not have extreme emotions, but even I know that's bullshit. My reactions can be quite extreme, I just don't express them to others.
Yes, when others are crying or freaking out, I'm "the rock" or "a tower of strength." I might feel a lot inside, but I'd rather take practical action instead of crying and stuff. I can lose it in some situations, but usually it’s things like phobias or money problems, not death or empathy or interpersonal stuff.

In a recent situation where there was a fatal car accident outside my house, I functioned well. In fact I did have some feelings, but I suppressed them because it was useless to freak out. It took some effort for me to stuff the feelings I did have, and I ended up being upset with the other people who were all crying on each other’s shoulders and thought I didn’t need any comforting or support.

It's come so far that I honestly don't know whether I have feelings of doubt or just thoughts of faked doubt. But then, when I feel like ranting about them to someone, (typical INxP style) I think: "But I don't feel bad enough to reach out to someone. I'm merely doing this because I want them to pity me, I don't feel bad!", so I just don't do it and distract myself instead.
Yes, for sure. I felt that I didn’t feel bad enough to reach out, and also that I knew what they would say. Often, when I did reach out (whether to professionals, self-help groups, or ordinary people), it turned out to be useless anyway. Which was a problem, as I had some pretty serious problems.

However, in recent years I’ve been able to ask for and benefit from help, mostly from individuals. I think the difference is that I have a more realistic understanding of myself and of what I can expect from others.

For example, when my ex broke up with me, I was very hurt but I was determined to get over it. So I talked to anyone who would listen, as I knew this was part of the healing process. I accepted that some people could offer very little—for example, I told an acquaintance in the cafe that I was going through a rough time. She invited me to sit down and then changed the subject. I was able to accept that she cared enough to invite me, whereas in the past I would have been upset that she changed the subject.

More recently, I was upset about the govt putting obstacles in the way of my pension. I figured I would have to work until I died, and I moaned and groaned to anyone who would listen. Then an acquaintance said that fighting it would be “worth it.” Yes I hated the idea of fighting the government, but it would in fact be worth many thousands of dollars (assuming I live for a few more years). So even though it was just a passing comment, I’m glad we exchanged those few words.

I'd like to know if anyone experiences this, and if you can think of any connection to our type. Last shadow function Fi, maybe? Advice?
Dunno. Maybe in recent years I’ve befriended my Fe and recognized its limitations, rather than feeling betrayed by it. The reaching out part would be Ne maybe, but you have to be able to connect it with Ti or it's just a waste of time.
 

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I do think it is an INTP thing. This website explains it pretty well: INTP - Chapter 4: Busting the Myth that INTPs are Not Emotional
My experiences with repressing emotions were so bad that I really attempt not to do it anymore.

The worst one probably is when my mom died (when I was sixteen) and I kept shoving down any anxiety, stress, and frustration that I had (I had a lot of these since I basically had to take care of my own stuff, my little brother, and the house/farm animals by myself). I did this for about six months and was numb for even longer. I just kept ignoring and stuffing any emotion I felt down. I ignored all of my physical symptoms of anxiety/stress (I had constant nausea, shaking, headaches, would forget to eat and drink water, and wouldn't sleep more than four hours each night) so much that my body and mind couldn't take it anymore and I finally broke down. I had a panic attack where I could not stop throwing up for hours and it got so bad I had to go to the doctor to get some anti-nausea medication. The doctor said that in his entire career he had never seen anyone push their emotions down for so long.

Another bad incident I had was when my grandmother died, I pushed down all the sadness for months until a minor disagreement with someone at my robotics club triggered me to start sobbing in front of ten boys (who were used to me being cold and unemotional). It was so embarrassing because none of them knew my grandmother had died and that was why I was crying.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I do think it is an INTP thing. This website explains it pretty well: INTP - Chapter 4: Busting the Myth that INTPs are Not Emotional
My experiences with repressing emotions were so bad that I really attempt not to do it anymore.
Thank you for the useful link and your input. Gee, who knew it could end up being that bad? I'm glad you vowed not to do it anymore.
 

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I've always experience emotions from a third person's perspective. It's like the feelings are not really mine. I might feel annoyed, and then the mind would say "there it is, a feeling of annoyance" as if it's trying to describe the feeling with the right word.

I wouldn't use the word "repressed" to describe how I treat emotions. I recognize the emotion and can feel it in my body, but I'm not bothered by them.

Don't let other people influence you into thinking that you must be bottling up some emotion, and not expressing it is unhealthy. This can be generalize to "don't make other people's problem your problem". Of course, you're welcome to make other people's problem your problem, but I wouldn't.
 

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My problem is that I don’t know much what I’m feeling until there’s an outburst involving doing/saying things that’s so...not “me”. Like I don’t know until it’s too late

When I think I’m feeling something I just end up rationalizing it and successfully albeit short-term, convincing myself that I’m okay although it’s the complete opposite.

Rational for me would be to fully understand my emotions but every time I start it’s just a can of worms(and confusion).
It’s still important for me to recognize that I am not my inner monologue...something I need to recognize over and over again I know

Of course on the surface no one would be able to tell, as I am rather emotionally unexpressive, bordering on happy dispositions generally during social interactions.

Negative emotions + isolation perpetuates the cycle, too


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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So does anybody else have this problem? [...] I'd like to know if anyone experiences this, and if you can think of any connection to our type.
At the very least, it's not an INTP, but an IxTP thing. And it's also not a problem, as far as I am concerned -- just a fact. What kind of advice are you looking for? If it's stupid to be annoyed about, it doesn't cease to be stupid just because now you act on that feeling. The times where I'm feeling A and doing B ... well, if you made a statistic, you'd probably get white noise. What I feel and what I do are two separate things, and I quite like it that way. It keeps my head clear, and I can act as I see fit, not as some feeling tells me to.

I can't recall the last time time I was really mad (not just annoyed or mildly irritated, my standard negative emotion) about something, now that you're asking, but are saying that's a bad thing? The last time I was really happy is easier, as I'm pretty good at making myself happy. (You should be too, that's important.) I don't really think I'm missing out by not getting mad but still getting happy, tbh. And anyway, ignoring =/= repressing. After all, you're still feeling.

But I mean, if you wanna rant, go rant. Getting others to pity you isn't all that terrible a motivation, most people do it constantly.


As for the article: You find the discussion and my opinion here. TL;DR: I think it's bs.

Edit:
Actually, all of this:
I wouldn't use the word "repressed" to describe how I treat emotions. I recognize the emotion and can feel it in my body, but I'm not bothered by them.

Don't let other people influence you into thinking that you must be bottling up some emotion, and not expressing it is unhealthy. This can be generalize to "don't make other people's problem your problem". Of course, you're welcome to make other people's problem your problem, but I wouldn't.
That's it, basically.
 

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Sometimes I come across as repressing my emotions especially around people I don't know. I have been described as "serious" by people who don't know the real me and I can come across and cold and callous. There are moments where my emotions are not apparent and I wonder what is wrong with me. Some people assume that I never get angry. I do but I am afraid to show certain sides of myself to people who I don't know very well. I usually open up when I feel safe around people. I'm also reluctant to show my crazy goofy side to a lot of people. My emotions are very turbulent, complicated and present but it's not always so obvious to an outsider. It can take me time to process my emotions and there can be somewhat detachment when they get to a certain point. When I do actually repress my emotions, it's usually when I'm in stressed-out mode or when I lack sleep. I turn into a completely different person.
 

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emotions and memory sometimes go hand in hand. i tried to block it when i and my ex broke up. It was effective but it also messed up my memory.
 

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I’m an INTP and since I was a kid I’ve been the «*emotionless one*» in my family. They told me that even as a baby I didn’t seem to care about things.

I don’t know if hearing this since a child included my life decisions. But I’ve always been the type of person that doesn’t show that people can get to me. I do feel angry or sad or stressed about things. But I just decide to ignore them and move on. Until at some point I’m going to think about it again and torture myself and burst into tears (thank god it happens when I’m alone). It’s pretty rare that I get mad at people at the second they did me wrong. I will just overthink it later when I’ll be alone.
I also have to admit that I hate people being able to read me. So I often come as cold l, distant and awkward when I first meet people.

But the only person that can trigger my anger is my mom. When I was little I used to not say anything at her when I was mad. But growing up I started defending what I wanted, didn’t want. When I disagreed with her.
But then, I guess that parents it’s a different category of people ha ha.

So yeah, I do FEEL. We all do. But I think that INTPs tend to control their composure in public. So for that we need to «*suppress the feeling*» I guess. Burry it. And forget it. Until it blows up if we don’t deal with it sooner than later.
 

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I tend to suppresse feelings for a while then when I'm alone i will overthink it then just decide its time cry and *poof* all is well and i move on. Honestly a good let out even if its exercising is good.
 

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I only have issues with emotions when I'm dealing with depression. And those you kind of have to repress, because basing anything on them is sure way to stay depressed.

While healthy I have no issues at all managing, listening to, or resolving my own emotions.

I am very indifferent in either case.
 

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Think I could best describe it a love-hate relationship with my emotions.
I've repressed a lot of them, though it doesn't always feel like I'm repressing, rather, feels like others do no effort at all, or worse, exaggerate them. If there's one thing I hate more than repressing emotions, it's overreacting on them. From my default 'state' of emotions, half the world seems to overreact constantly. The irony in this is, it eventually leads to an overreaction if repressing my own too long. So all in all, I think it balances out on the long run.
The 'half of the world' gets to overreact little every day, I get to uber-overreact once every year and not at all for the rest of the time.
 

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So does anybody else have this problem? It would be lovely to read about it.

As example, something will happen that annoys me. It's stupid to be annoyed about however, so I ignore it - but it happens more often, and I start to get pissed off more each time. That, again, makes me believe my reaction is too extreme given the situation, so I disregard it again. The cycle continues.
Yeah, I have this problem. Pretty normal for most people I think...

This happens with about everything. My real life friends have started to use "Are you ever mad or sad about ANYTHING?" as a catchphrase, even. I like to say yes, I like to believe I am "rational" enough to not have extreme emotions, but even I know that's bullshit. My reactions can be quite extreme, I just don't express them to others.
Not with me. I either fake it, usually with sadness, or I'm open about it, which is usually with anger.

It's come so far that I honestly don't know whether I have feelings of doubt or just thoughts of faked doubt. But then, when I feel like ranting about them to someone, (typical INxP style) I think: "But I don't feel bad enough to reach out to someone. I'm merely doing this because I want them to pity me, I don't feel bad!", so I just don't do it and distract myself instead.
I just don't care enough to reach out.

I'd like to know if anyone experiences this, and if you can think of any connection to our type. Last shadow function Fi, maybe? Advice?[/QUOTE]
I have non.
 
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