Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 181 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
49 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ever since high school I've always fallen for ENFP guys. Their warm and friendly personalites draw me in like a moth to the flame. I've befriended many ENFPs in my lifetime, and have had some pretty wonderful relationships with them in the past.

But the truth of the matter is i'm an INFJ, which makes us different in a lot of big ways. For example, I'm sure that I could be very happy in a romantic relationship with an ENFP, but would an ENFP get too bored with me? Would my personality even be the least bit appealing to them?Do romantic relationships between these two personalites really work out? or am I barking up the entirely wrong tree?

My personality is pretty textbook INFJ. I'm nurturing and warm, but also stubborn and intelligent. I'm a deep thinker, always trying to find deeper meaning in everything. I'm a novelist, artist, and one-time movie actress, so I get very passionate about things, especially philosophy and religion.

While I am an introvert, I have a large yellow streak of outgoing playfulness. I think that's what attracts me most to ENFP's. I share their love of life and adventure. I love spontaneity. Playing Frisbee in the rain, Taking a random roadtrip just because, karaoke bars, bungee jumping, I'm up for anything so long as it does not conflict with my morals.

I guess the bottom line is, Should an INFJ like me pursue romantic relationships with ENFPS or will they just get bored of me?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
118 Posts
No, we share the same fear. Thats why ENFP would prefer introverts.

Because we know its impossible that any two partners would not get bored from each other. However INFJ tends to spend a time alone(ENFPs also), which make refreshment in the relationship, ENFP will miss his partner and back with new passion and love to him and so on.

I cant imagine the integration of ENFP and INFJ souls, so spiritual.

Also I think (maybe just me ) INFJ is the person that ENFP always dream about.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
357 Posts
No it's true, us ENFP's, dream about the INFJ...The trick is for the ENFP to learn to be centered and focused, and for the INFJ to learn to be flexible and self-assured, and NOT critical of the ENFP. But yes, I can attest, a true INFJ is nothjing less than a divinely perfect match for us.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10 Posts
I'm rarely in a relationship but it's always with an ENFP girl. Nothing else feels so effortless and natural. It's like magic. The communication is right from the start, really amazing. I love ENFP girls cuz it's never boring with them, and i can't stand boredom :D We connect on so many levels.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,148 Posts
Im still having problems with bigest will we wont ENFP friend, infact the bump phases in the friendship are still coming thick and fast yet they never seem to breack it or damage it. Iv come to see us as very diffrent now and yet still somtimes slightly to my anoyence connected. we will still aside from all physical attarction mentaly draw to each other. Anoying a little when your suposed to have rowed and not be talking lol!
Iv even made very good frinds with an INFP guy whome I feel almost physcic with him yet its not the same. I also find him kinda cute but its just not the same as with the ENFP *shakes head with pzzled look. So for now I think both of us (ENFP) cannot entertain any more that freinds if we cant iron ot the mini bumps. Im ceratinly exausted now. He is litleraly high on Ne theres no other way to explain and the Fi is full on gaurded and passionate. He's inteanse in that way or maybe you all are. From my point of view the Ne and the possibitly he see's in everyone and everything seems confuse and he cant see the wood for the tree's.
he gets me wrong and barely notices my INFJness he seems distracted by SP types then describes exactly me as what he wants and then fails to notice thats that what i am. Then when he sees it in me he sort of goes all floaty and looks deep into my eyes and tell me i beutiful(this is not no joke) and then I look back then nothing happens, becase he then seems to look for any minor detail that he doesnt like and use it as an excuse to make out Im somthing Im not. he simply resuses to belive I am that person
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
152 Posts
No it's true, us ENFP's, dream about the INFJ...The trick is for the ENFP to learn to be centered and focused, and for the INFJ to learn to be flexible and self-assured, and NOT critical of the ENFP. But yes, I can attest, a true INFJ is nothjing less than a divinely perfect match for us.
I second that. The best part is that both the INFJ and ENFP are committed. The relationship is also balanced where neither one is too bossy or dominating. Romance, on the other hand, is intense.
 

·
World's biggest INTJ fangirl
Joined
·
2,314 Posts
I don’t think a standard, healthy ENFP could ever get bored of an INFJ. You creatures are such funny, fascinating things. :)
I know an INFJ/ENFP pairing and they’ve been married for almost 20 years. They’re still very much in love. The (ENFP) wife still loves to mention that she has the best husband in the world and how much she loves him. You can really sense it too - they’re connected on a verrry deep level. It’s nice.
It has been a lot of work for them though - as what happens in any relationship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,245 Posts
Ever since high school I've always fallen for ENFP guys. Their warm and friendly personalites draw me in like a moth to the flame. I've befriended many ENFPs in my lifetime, and have had some pretty wonderful relationships with them in the past.

But the truth of the matter is i'm an INFJ, which makes us different in a lot of big ways. For example, I'm sure that I could be very happy in a romantic relationship with an ENFP, but would an ENFP get too bored with me? Would my personality even be the least bit appealing to them?Do romantic relationships between these two personalites really work out? or am I barking up the entirely wrong tree?

My personality is pretty textbook INFJ. I'm nurturing and warm, but also stubborn and intelligent. I'm a deep thinker, always trying to find deeper meaning in everything. I'm a novelist, artist, and one-time movie actress, so I get very passionate about things, especially philosophy and religion.

While I am an introvert, I have a large yellow streak of outgoing playfulness. I think that's what attracts me most to ENFP's. I share their love of life and adventure. I love spontaneity. Playing Frisbee in the rain, Taking a random roadtrip just because, karaoke bars, bungee jumping, I'm up for anything so long as it does not conflict with my morals.

I guess the bottom line is, Should an INFJ like me pursue romantic relationships with ENFPS or will they just get bored of me?
Ghostwriter.

You are so awesome! I think most INFJs are aware already that male INFJs like female ENFPs. I am more interested in hearing about female INFJ and male ENFP relationships. Do they last? Do they work? What are some pros and cons when considering this match?

An ENFP tried to communicate with me once. And then disappeared mysteriously, as fast as he arrived! What is all that about? He seems quite busy, and well 'fast-paced' for me. I haven't got to know him better, so I have no idea. But it was interesting that he initially tried to get to know me better. I was curious as to why, I am pretty boring.

But please, I suppose for myself, and to benefit the initial poster, some examples and discussion about INFJ females and ENFP males :) I have this feeling that it is not the same both ways. I don't think female INFJs are like male INFJs at all. Even in relationship mode. [Although many INFJs share many characteristics, obviously]. I just wish to explore this topic more.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,793 Posts
My girlfriend is an INFJ (she only just recently joined here :D.)
( @Female INFJ I believe you liked her avatar ^^) We're on our 3rd year of being together and we get on perfectly fine, We trust each other to have time apart and we treasure every moment together.

She grew up in a strict life style so she is quiet hesitant on my spontaneous "Let's do this! Let's try that, Oh let's go there!" but she enjoys it :p I have easier time understanding her then her understanding me, It doesn't help that I'm really bad at explaining things but she eventually gets it.

We're very playful and such and the whole time we been together we haven't had 1 argument or fall out. :) Plus we had fun destroying my bedroom Wall.



:tongue:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,619 Posts
Fear is the mind killer
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Dune :D:D:D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,917 Posts
I've only met girl INFJs, but the two of them are the easiest friendships I've ever had. It's an effortless connection, as so many have already said. Even when I don't talk with one for ages, we're always able to pick up right where we left off. <3

I'm not sure the potential for growth would be so great in a relationship, though. I've never been in an argument with either - not because we're afraid to fight, but simply because we always agree! It's a lot of what makes the relationship so easy, but I'm not sure it'd be beneficial in a romantic sense. This is all theoretical, however.

Anyway, bored? I've never been bored with either. xD That's not a worry at all.
 
Joined
·
1,750 Posts
I'm not sure the potential for growth would be so great in a relationship, though. I've never been in an argument with either - not because we're afraid to fight, but simply because we always agree! It's a lot of what makes the relationship so easy, but I'm not sure it'd be beneficial in a romantic sense. This is all theoretical, however.

Anyway, bored? I've never been bored with either. xD That's not a worry at all.
I trust my wife as a partner. I do not need her to help me grow. We grow together, and sometimes in very different directions. I think that the growth just happens with new experiences and an open mind... so I don't see it as important that a romantic partner be a catalyst for growth.

The most important thing in my mind is that you love spending time with you partner, that you trust your partner, that you have each other's backs no matter what, that you respect your partner. Challenges are not necessary in my opinion. The world offers enough of those on it's own hehe.

My wife is an ENTP and we are very similar in a lot of ways. It makes it easy, and easy is good when it comes to love IMO.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
13,780 Posts
:) I think the question is about being healthy person, someone that has dealt with baggage from previous relationships.

Other then that ENFPs and INFJs are a really good match. I have been with an ENFP for the past 2 months, met her here on PerC and yeah it would have been wonderful. Didn't work out sadly, I guess we just met at the wrong time in our lives.
 

·
World's biggest INTJ fangirl
Joined
·
2,314 Posts
:) I think the question is about being healthy person, someone that has dealt with baggage from previous relationships.

Other then that ENFPs and INFJs are a really good match. I have been with an ENFP for the past 2 months, met her here on PerC and yeah it would have been wonderful. Didn't work out sadly, I guess we just met at the wrong time in our lives.
Yes! I can agree with that. I’m also sorry your relationship didn’t work out.
I find there are two faces to an ENFP in general: The ENFP with a cause and the ENFP without one.
Coming from personal experience alone - an ENFP without a cause is a bit spasmodic, wishy-washy and everywhere (kind of like the structure of this sentence). They’re more prone to living in the moment and jumping from one fascination to the next.

Whereas an ENFP with a cause is a lot more centred. While they’re also a lot of fun to be around, they’re more focused and know what they want.

I’ve only recently (as in the past couple of weeks) been able to find my cause after staggering out of a rather difficult relationship, and let me tell you, my mind is so much clearer now. I know I’ve reached this point when I go from spending entire days locked in my head, writing or spending my time being needy and seeking out new connections, to spending smaller amounts of time in creative pursuits, being able to face situations head on and taking decisive action (in whatever).

I think being around an ENFP without a cause can be especially difficult for an INFJ as INFJs tend to feel the need to 'fix' them. But generally an ENFP doesn't need 'fixing' they just need time to sort themselves out and centre themselves.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
40 Posts
I've been dating an ENFP now for a week - after knowing each other for 4 years - & it's insane how well we work together. The connection is immense; it's just a generally intense relationship & it's really nice.

I don't think he'll get bored of me, nor would he of any INFJ - I think we're one of the most, if not the most, complex personality type so how can you possibly get bored with that? :p

Only real thing is that he tires me out effortlessly :p But I don't mind that so much - pros vastly out-weight cons you know?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
477 Posts
@Nafatali


I’ve only recently (as in the past couple of weeks) been able to find my cause after staggering out of a rather difficult relationship, and let me tell you, my mind is so much clearer now. I know I’ve reached this point when I go from spending entire days locked in my head, writing or spending my time being needy and seeking out new connections, to spending smaller amounts of time in creative pursuits, being able to face situations head on and taking decisive action (in whatever).
How did you come to a cause finally ? How long it take ? I suppose having fun all time isn't a cause ?


"I think being around an ENFP without a cause can be especially difficult for an INFJ as INFJs tend to feel the need to 'fix' them. But generally an ENFP doesn't need 'fixing' they just need time to sort themselves out and centre themselves."
I suppose it need just time to let the thing fix by themself .
 
1 - 20 of 181 Posts
Top