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Hey INFJs,
I am an INTJ and I have a INFJ girl friend and I wanted to know if there was ways to tell if she's interested in more than friends? We've known each other for over a year now but we really connected in the last 2-3 months. We connected right away about three months ago and we talked for multiple hours every night for like two weeks. We're at the same school and are making a lot of work together for our exams and for some projects. She told me I was one of the few that understand her and that I'm the only one she can study with and be productive. We talked a lot about personal things and even about her last relation and how it didn't work out. We see each other about one to two times a week to work on school related projects, we also saw eachothers outside of school context and had really a great time. But I am unsure about her feelings because when we're alone she's not the same person as when I see her with her group of friends at school. Sometimes I think she's into me and other times it seems like it's only platonic... We're currently in the worst part of our school year we're very busy so we don't see ourselves as much.
I would like to tell her how I feel but I don't want to lose what we already have... :rolleyes:
 

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Well bud, I don’t know. The fact that Fe is in her functional stack explains why she is different around friends than when she is alone with you. I wouldn’t really expect that difference to mean that much.

There really isn’t much I can tell you though. If you like her, and you think she likes you then take her out to eat or something. See what happens. The fact that she feels like you are the only one who understands her really does say something good about your odds. INFJs usually don’t have many (if any) people that do understand them in their lives.
 

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I can only speak from my own perspective. I've been typed as an INFJ pretty frequently and I'm wondering if it's a good fit for me, so take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt.

My closest friend is an INTJ male. I admire him so much! But, we have two very different views on life. He is too uptight and closed off for me to even seriously consider being with him. I need someone who can showering me with words of affection and he, in particular, wouldn't be able to do that. I wouldn't meet his higher standards and I'd imagine I'd be unfulfilled with our hypothetical love life. That's not to say I don't envision it happening sometimes but it's more daydreaming than anything based on real feelings. That's the conclusion I've come to anyway.

I'd be so off put if he told me he was interested in me. I'd imagine that that could have serious consequences in regards to our friendship. I'd prioritize a long-time friend over a potential love interest anyway. Somebody who I can comfortable around, allow myself to be clingy then pull away when I need rest without feeling guilty, people like that are not easy to come by. Again though, he's an INTJ but he could be drastically different than you in so many ways and I cannot speak for this woman either.

I know it may sound pessimistic but I think you sound just focus on your friendship with her for now. But, I'll say this. When I'm around someone who I have romantic feelings for I can be more withdrawn than usual. I might come across as cold even. Once I feel comfortable around them though I'll be unable to suppress my emotions and it'll be written all over my face. I think it's pretty easy to tell from a third party perspective when I'm into somebody but I'm only assuming.
 
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