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Romantically speaking, do you prefer Fs or Ts?

11K views 105 replies 83 participants last post by  gaudy316 
#1 ·
I personally would rather someone who uses Thinking as their primary force, whether it be Introverted or Extroverts.

I had issues with an ENFP (ESFP maybe. He was nearly borderline). He wasn't terribly healthy but even so, he used so much feeling, it drove me insane. I couldn't stand it. We couldn't balance each other out... but we did share some amazing thoughts at least. He just relied too much on his feelings to make decisions. It ruined everything.

So far, the best experiences I've enjoyed have been with ESTPs, ENTPs and ENTJs. The ENTJ especially. He understood my emotions much better than the ENFP dude did. The ENTJ man was actually interested what I had to say, my thoughts and what I wanted to do. He was just generally interested in who I was as a person.

What have your experiences been like?
 
#3 ·
I like F types.I'm not sure why..I just do. It's really hard to explain why when it comes to stuff like this.
 
#4 ·
Little of both, but I usually end up falling hardest for T types. Big fan of xSTP's I am :D
I'd probably peg it to the fact that I'm attracted to people whose minds fascinate me.
Plus the fact that they're able to think so logically balances out when my emotions override.

Don't get me wrong though, I've met tons of amazing F's with amazing minds and hearts. Some of my best friends are F's and they're all incredible and good-hearted people :D
But when it comes to romance, I think I tend to go more for the thinkers.
 
#6 ·
I'd swing either way depending on the person, N seems like the more important factor. Ideally I'd like him to be quite balanced on T/F. I can deal better with guys who are too sensitive than not sensitive enough, but I do find thinking guys who are mature and rational quite attractive. I know an INTP who can be more romantic than me with some of the things he says, so it's not like they're robots lacking any means to being affectionate.
 
#8 ·
You're definitely right about the N. Even though the ESTP was fun and he understood my emotions surprisingly well. He was just so relaxed and in return, I felt the same. Nothing ever bothered him. He could always calm me down... but at the same time, it kinda annoyed me that nothing ever bothered him. Irrational? Perhaps. Probably. Even though there was plenty of fun, there was never a deep connection built. I always these amazing connections with the N types.

@HappiLie: Yes, I agree! Another reason I go for the thinkers is because they balance me out. They actually make me take a step back and think about shit. I like that.
 
#7 ·
This is a tough call. My most natural attraction forms when I encounter certain kinds of INTPs, and they tend to be attracted to me. It never works out. After having experienced enough failures with them, I have decided to intentionally avoid this trap. INTPs are to me what "bad boys" are to normal girls. There's a nice sexual rush that comes from being less powerful than someone who is potentially dangerous, whether the threat is physical or psychological. It starts with the, "Oh wow, this guy can think circles around me. I feel so vulnerable around him, and I'm not used to feeling intellectually overpowered." It inevitably ends with "Ouch, he doesn't have any idea how to be careful with my feelings, does he?"

Ideally, I'd be with another INFP. INFP males are hard to find around here, so I am planning to move soon to a location where they are supposed to be more plentiful. Is that a worthwhile reason to uproot my life, leaving behind everything familiar? Definitely!
 
#9 ·
According to some MBTI relationship statistics that I have read about, NFs report higher satisfaction when paired up with other NFs, NTs report higher satisfaction when paired with NFs than other NTs, two Js in relationship report more conflict than two Ps or a J and a P. This is on average of course, personal preferences vary, but if you had one bad relationship with another NF I wouldn't give up on them as a group on the whole.
 
#12 ·
I think I would work best with INFP/ENFP or ENTP.

I think I'm quite balanced on T/F (haven't done cognitive function test yet :\). I think I'm quite comfortable with both NT and NF, it always depend on the person.
 
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#13 ·
i feel like there's always this level of disconnect when i try and get close to T's. even if we understand each other pretty well, there's still something not quite there. on the other hand, i've felt nearly psychic connections to a number of other NF's almost immediately after meeting them. i've been surprised before, and i'm sure i will be again, but i don't think i can get close enough to a T for a real relationship.
 
#14 ·
Someone balanced would be ideal. I've dated strong Ts and strong Fs and either extreme was no good for me. I'm married to an ISTP and for the most part it's a great pairing , but there are times I feel like I just have the capacity to feel so much more intensely than he does about thing which makes me feel rather vulnerable... He likes this about me though. And I have dated strong feelers before and they were very caring but a bit too sensitive, and unrealistic at times. I need the T types to ground me. It seems like they balance me out better. From my experience, T's can be just as romantic as Fs, the only difference is that when a T is romantic it's often out of their comfort zone so it means they're really trying for you which is nice.
 
#19 ·
After dating mostly Ts (and even avoiding Fs) for 10 years, I am convinced that I feel happiest with another F.

I'm dating an INFP man right now and it is, hands down, the easiest and most fulfilling relationship I've ever had in my life. And I feel extremely lucky to have met him.
 
#20 ·
When I date a T, they often hurt my feelings (unintentionally) but when I date an F, I find that I hurt their feelings. I'm with a T now and it still happens from time to time, but he's more sensitive than other Ts I've been with (older too so that may help) but sheesh. Why does someones feelings have to be hurt?
 
#25 ·
Honestly, I would go out with someone I love regardless of what type they are. As long as the person is a healthy individual, and that I completely be comfortable with being around then I'm happy. T or F, it doesn't matter ^^;
 
#26 ·
I'd definitely have to agree that being with another N is more important than T/F. Still, from what I know, I guess I'd have to say I'm more attracted romantically to Thinking types with a very balanced T/F.

I have thus far been in a relationship with guys of two different types -- ISTP and INTP.

The ISTP was very balanced in every category but T/F (which was around 70/30), but he was also unhealthy. Admittedly, I entered the relationship because no one had ever asked me out before and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. The beginning of the relationship, during which we built our friendship, was great, and we had a lot of fun together. But we never really made a strong connection.

The relationship I'm currently in is hands-down one of the best things that's ever happened to me. My boyfriend is an INTP, but his T/F balance is somewhere around 60/40. We liked each other right away, and we became super-close best friends over the course of last semester, though apparently it was obvious to everyone that we were crazy about each other. Neither of us has ever felt such a strong connection before, and while our feelings are, to both his and my surprise, rather intense, everything feels completely natural. I could go on and on about how wonderful it is, but I'll spare you. xD

Being pretty balanced in the T/F category myself, having a significant other who mirrors that is proving to be ideal. It's as if our Ts and Fs complement and complete one another perfectly. He has enough NF to genuinely understand where I'm coming from a lot of the time, but he also has enough NT to fascinate me. And to be an INFP and still be able to be in a relationship with someone who really understands you is both incredibly amazing and incredibly refreshing. <3
 
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