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Discussion Starter #1
I got a room-mate who's in total denial and he's got huge self esteem issues.

He's always bragging about how girls glanced at him and telling me that they like him.

At the moment he's convinced...

-1 girl is stalking him
-1 girl went to Umass so she could follow him and be close to him
-and just about every girl that even looks at him is either turned on by him or "likes him".

Every time I tell him to just ask them out, he refuses. Most of the time I just smile and nod... but recently this trend has taken a turn for the worse.

Recently, he's made it his personal mission to tear me down whenever I might be talking (Just being friendly) to a woman in the elevator, or in line, etc... and whenever there's even the slightest indication that a girl likes me, he has to either do his best to cock block me by butting in to our conversation.

I got a pretty sweet thing going with a girl long distance, and he has been passionately telling me that I am going to ruin my life if I try to be with her... and that it is impossible that it will work out.

How do I get him to get out of denial before i end up punching him in the face? Btw, he's an ESTP.
 

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I got a room-mate who's in total denial and he's got huge self esteem issues.

He's always bragging about how girls glanced at him and telling me that they like him.

At the moment he's convinced...

-1 girl is stalking him
-1 girl went to Umass so she could follow him and be close to him
-and just about every girl that even looks at him is either turned on by him or "likes him".

Every time I tell him to just ask them out, he refuses. Most of the time I just smile and nod... but recently this trend has taken a turn for the worse.

Recently, he's made it his personal mission to tear me down whenever I might be talking (Just being friendly) to a woman in the elevator, or in line, etc... and whenever there's even the slightest indication that a girl likes me, he has to either do his best to cock block me by butting in to our conversation.

I got a pretty sweet thing going with a girl long distance, and he has been passionately telling me that I am going to ruin my life if I try to be with her... and that it is impossible that it will work out.

How do I get him to get out of denial before i end up punching him in the face? Btw, he's an ESTP.
This is the same roommate that you've been writing a "series" about, right?

He sounds like a real swell fellow. JK

I think this is the second time that you've mentioned that he's an ESTP. Hmmm...Well, just don't hold it against all of them ESTPers.

What can I say? Don't hit him. I think he might be trying to provoke you. If you hit him, he will win.
 

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If he's really an ESTP I say hit him
 

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I got a room-mate who's in total denial and he's got huge self esteem issues.

He's always bragging about how girls glanced at him and telling me that they like him.

At the moment he's convinced...

-1 girl is stalking him
-1 girl went to Umass so she could follow him and be close to him
-and just about every girl that even looks at him is either turned on by him or "likes him".

Every time I tell him to just ask them out, he refuses. Most of the time I just smile and nod... but recently this trend has taken a turn for the worse.

Recently, he's made it his personal mission to tear me down whenever I might be talking (Just being friendly) to a woman in the elevator, or in line, etc... and whenever there's even the slightest indication that a girl likes me, he has to either do his best to cock block me by butting in to our conversation.

I got a pretty sweet thing going with a girl long distance, and he has been passionately telling me that I am going to ruin my life if I try to be with her... and that it is impossible that it will work out.

How do I get him to get out of denial before i end up punching him in the face? Btw, he's an ESTP.
your roomy has a super ego. i would say ignore him but he is ruining your life by tearing you down. hitting him won't work. stooping to his level won't do it. you could try do something that makes you recognized for some good deeds. i don't what maybe a cause if you don't have one that you agree with that will make your name*shudders* know. find a new place or roomie depending on whos name is on the rent. honestly i have very little ideas what you should do and the ones i have may not be plausible or effective.

onto the more important aspect of your post. Congrats finding a great long distance girlfriend. i got a pretty sweet thing going with mine too. *brofist*
 

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My opinion is to go with Daveman and Gildar on this one. Now he is probably trying to either provoke you, or he's turned into a psych actually convincing himself that the girl really does like him and you are trying to steal "his girl".

Either way, hitting him will only make things worse.

If you are in college and sharing a dorm room, you can request a room change for either him or you if things get to bad.

If you are sharing an apartment, you can always just kick him out if things get too bad.

But, don't let him walk on you like a rug. Calmly and rationally explain your feelings. If he is still is in denial, i suggest getting rid of him or moving out.

*edit*. Yes, congratulations with the girlfriend. Don't give up on the whole long distance relationship thing. You never know, it might just work out.

On him trying to provoke you, personal experience.

I had some "friends" trying to provoke me and make me feel bad about my future goals and dreams involving psychology. When I retaliated and tried to talk my way out of it, things got worse. When I ignored it and acted like nothing happened and I never got offended or hurt, they stopped and things went back to normal. No guarantees of him stopping though.
 
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I'm actually just going through with a person exactly like this. Based on the things you've posted about him so far and in the other threads, I think it would be good to leave asap.. I have a feeling it will just go downhill from here. As you said he is in denial of his own issues meaning he's not going to take any help from you no matter how hard you try. He has already made the choice, there's nothing else you can do. He'll continue to take his frustration out on you and it will increase in intensity until you have no choice but to chop his head off while he's sleeping. Save yourself the trouble and leave him! :)
 

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I totally agree about the leaving your roommate deal. I doubt things will get better. I mean can you ask yourself honestly, weighing the pros and cons of sharing a living space with a guy, to my knowledge of how you've talked about him before, is just a plain toxic person to be around. I'm aware that last time you reconciled...? But dang, this guy obviously knows how to get under your skin, and from what I know about guys...men want respect. You're roomie doesn't respect you!!! Start looking for a new place to live. Heck you could have a new place by Christmas right?? What a nice present that would be.:proud:
 

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Wow, talk about being delusional. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact he's trying to sabotage your love life. I'm not exactly sure what would be the best approach, but I agree with some of the other posters that something has to be done. This isn't the kind of thing you can just 'ignore', at least. You can ignore incidental stuff that's mildly annoying, but ignoring ceases to be an option when there is a repeated effort to harm you (in any way).

My advice is to talk to him. Tell him you've had enough of his bullshit, and what the consequences are should he continue his behavior (whatever those consequences may be, that's something only you can decide). Hitting him, moving out, whatever works for you. You have to be willing to actually carry out those consequences, though. If you tell him you'll do something, and then you don't, he'll take it as being able to mess with you without having to worry about getting into trouble. And he'd be right, too.
 

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He's clearly in need of some self approval but he just doesn't know it yet. Maybe you should ask if the reason he doesn't ask these girls out is that he's afraid they will turn him down? Right now, he's looking to others for approval and it sounds as if any woman that crosses his path allows him to feel accepted. Perhaps these ladies are just being polite but he's too afraid to find out the truth.
 

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He might be right ESTP's are great at picking up those kinds of cues.

But I agree, hit him.
He's not going to respect anything less.
 

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SLN is right. He he...this is where the manipulation comes in. Oh I'm so excited!!! I'm going to make a video about punishment:crazy:

YouTube - Positive and Negative Punishment

Positive Punishment: In an attempt to decrease the likelihood of a behavior occurring in the future, an operant response is followed by the presentation of an aversive stimulus. This is positive punishment.

ie/ I punched the bear and he did not like it, so he decreased his behavior of acting like a bear and turned into a raccoon. Much better!! He will stop acting like a bear in the future.

Negative punishment: In an attempt to decrease the likelihood of a behavior occurring in the future, an operant response is followed by the removal of an appetitive stimulus. This is negative punishment.

ie/ The bear is taking too much zinc citrate so I take it away. (that wasn't a very good example) Now he's (obviously) going to change his unwanted behavior of taking too much zinc.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
I've decided to give him a thorough talking to...

I have a speech planned out in my head, as well as solid proof and examples for each aspect of my argument. I'm going to explain in no uncertain terms how much of an immature kid he's been lately and why I don't appreciate it, and why he has to grow up.

And if that message doesn't sink in, I am going to make it clear that if he doesn't stop putting me down and badmouthing me, I am going to be forced to explain to everyone how he is immature and insecure about my relationships with women and that's why he lashes out.

Almost all of his friends he has through me... as in they are my friends first, his second... and I am going to make that clear to him should he decide to continue harassing me. I'm pulling out the big guns.
 
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