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Discussion Starter #1
First I don't know my roommates type... I'm horrible at typing people past I and E lol


But we can't seem to get along, I'm very nice to her but she just seems to want to walk all over me and seems to get annoyed at the fact that I want to connect to her. I always accomedate her wants and needs so as not to upset her, but then when I do say something that wouldn't keep her perfectly happy she acts like I've blown up her house or something.

It'd be really nice if I knew her personality type cause then at least I'd have something to work with but I can't keep living with someone who hates me for me, like I already had an emotional meltdown because of it, I don't want to do this for a full year when there could've been something like " oh show her this movie and she'll love you" or something

Are there certain types of personality types that just can't live together because of conflicting... whatever?
 

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All discussion of personality types aside..... there will be problems, heartache, laughter, tears, issues, dilemmas, fights, passive-aggressiveness, more issues, and even more issues and all sorts of relational problems when you put two people to live with each other.

That said, i lived with someone like that, too -- I would try to be nice and accomodate that person's needs, but they seemed to just dislike me for who I was, get upset about everything I did, and i couldn't stand it. I know im INFJ, but i tend to be more ENFJ in my relationships with people. Over time, i realized that of the billions of people in the world, not everyone will like who I am no matter how much i try to please them.

I'd suggest going out for icecream or coffee one day. Let it grow slowly. :) If not, you can always find connection outside of your room with others.
 

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Welp .... maybe ISTP? They are your opposite so generally everything about you will be in the opposite direction they want to go in.... unless you all meet each other in the middle .... which takes energy... and may not even be worth it in my opinion....


ENFJ= Fe Ni Se Ti
ISTP= Ti Se Ni Fe

Does ISTP ring a bell?
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I just read through one of the internet profiles of ISTP and was like, " holy hot coals, thats here"

I'm willing to meet halfway, make some new rules that respect the both of us but she will not budge so I don't know how to do it. She won't even go to lunch/dinner/whatever with me, I ask her almost everytime if she's in here
 

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I'm the type that wants to be friends and have a good connection with everyone, but sometimes, roommates have to be just roommates.

I guess, if I were to offer advice, it would be to stop trying. You do your thing and let her do her thing and communicate only when it is about something that involved both of you, like the household. I know it's not ideal, and for an ENFJ, it might feel awkward, but it seems like that is what she wants.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Mmmmgaaah

I can't spend time in a room when I can FEEL the animosity towards me like.. there is seriously this barrier she draws around herself and I'm left standing here going, " wait... what did I do?"

And she won't tell me when things annoy her, just give me one-word answers when I seriously want to talk about it.

I'm pretty wallflower-y in these circumstances and I was for a few weeks and then I spoke against something she does and then all this happened lol

that's what I get for not helping her adjust (I currently feel a lot of guilt for our current state, even though many people have told me I shouldn't)
 

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I just read through one of the internet profiles of ISTP and was like, " holy hot coals, thats here"

I'm willing to meet halfway, make some new rules that respect the both of us but she will not budge so I don't know how to do it. She won't even go to lunch/dinner/whatever with me, I ask her almost everytime if she's in here
hahaha holy hot coals. i was hopin you were gonna say cows but coals works perfectly fine. yea i know what you mean. i have same issues with estjs. ISTP's don't deal with feelings. You know that cold logical and introverted side of yours? Think of everything you work against....... it's prolly gonna be the ISTP..... and vice versa. But it's interesting because you still share A LOT with the ISTP..... same functions..... exact same functions.... different direction. It's like a tug of war. In order to connect...... one of you will have to get in touch with functions you don't normally LIKE to use. When this happens you both will then see the positive in each other..... however you may end up limiting your potential and you walk a fine line between not being yourself and becoming unhealthy when you deny your natural way of doing things. You are not denying your natural way of doing things...... but it's unfortunate that in this situation it will breed disconnection and tension. You need a new roomate : )
 

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I just read through one of the internet profiles of ISTP and was like, " holy hot coals, thats here"

I'm willing to meet halfway, make some new rules that respect the both of us but she will not budge so I don't know how to do it. She won't even go to lunch/dinner/whatever with me, I ask her almost everytime if she's in here
oh and the lunch dinner thing doesn't work with ISTP's...... they don't care really about your attempts to take care of their feelings. They don't need it and more than anything don't want it. Underneath their apparent self lies a hidden ENFJ..... though very faint and not something worth digging to see.
 
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Welcome to living with your shadow personality :p

What she is trying to guard off is your Fe. Basically your primary Fe function that you radiate everywhere is her inferior one. The inferior function is like the blindspot in our personality. People usually overreact when they see expressions of their inferior function in environment. I have recently observed an ESTJ blow up on the ISFP and INTP quoting specifically the parts where they "dared" to talk about their feelings. That's cuz ESTJ's inferior function is Fi while it is primary for IxFPs, so he totally blew up then was sorta ashamed of it himself and tried to talk it down.

Try being less polite and nice with her - I'm serious :p She sounds like a strong thinker and will feel disgusted at display of feelings. Was an example recently where I was feeling all Fe-ish and offered this guy my help. He was apparently strong thinker type and I could sense how much he was mentally wincing from my display of friendly emotions towards him. Off topic but offering help to ESTJs is the funniest thing ever btw. You offer them help, then they make it sound like they are ordering you around in the process of you helping them. It is very funny lol.

Don't try to bond with her too much. Seriously, she is OK not talking or socializing with people. Also she is only your roommate. May be have the "introvert vs extravert" conversation. Tell her that you are an extravert and she is clearly an introverted person so if you are bothering her that she should really let you know.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I actually think she might be moving into her aunts house and she's just gonna tell me when I can't do anything about it.

fail.
 

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Don't think of it as a fail. No one really failed. Certainly not you.

Think of it as sunnier days ahead for you cause you won't have to deal with her now!
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I suck at being alone though...

at least its her that's moving and I am pretty much not helping her move at all, everytime I try to be nice to her it doesn't work so I'm just kinda gonna... stop
 

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I suck at being alone though...

at least its her that's moving and I am pretty much not helping her move at all, everytime I try to be nice to her it doesn't work so I'm just kinda gonna... stop
: / so I've typed to paragraphs and both of them didn't make it through. So basically..... please don't beat yourself up over her actions. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. It's just human differences thats all. Some people just don't connect.... or if they do... there is a large price to pay. I think it's pretty awesome that throughout you haven't tried to be more logical or more her. It seems like you continue to feel and do what you normally do. That's admirable.... though painful. I hope you realize how admirable that really is. Know that she is not worth your time. You are only giving her love.... nothing wrong with that. It just makes her uncomfortable cause she puts feelings through logical filters and by the time the emotion comes out.... there isn't much left. She NEEDS that logical filter just as much as we need our feelings. It isn't really anything personal..... you just bring out each others other side..... dark side. I think it's good that she moved out..... and I'm sorry you had to feel like that in the process.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
yeah like... mentally I'm over it, but like I walk past her new room and I'm like, " There has to have been something else I could've done" and really, the only thing I could've done would've been to like... just let her take over and end up with like 20% of the room and.... aaaaaaah and really I was not offensive like everyone even on the hall will see I was anything but disrespectful and rude... -doesn't know-

I'm gonna make her bed into a fort as means of getting over it, so thats exciting
 

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yeah like... mentally I'm over it, but like I walk past her new room and I'm like, " There has to have been something else I could've done" and really, the only thing I could've done would've been to like... just let her take over and end up with like 20% of the room and.... aaaaaaah and really I was not offensive like everyone even on the hall will see I was anything but disrespectful and rude... -doesn't know-

I'm gonna make her bed into a fort as means of getting over it, so thats exciting
lololol I like the last part there. Yea inside the fort you should have pictures/boobie dolls.... wait what are the dolls that ....shit. you know what im talking about? the dolls..... shit. the dolls that you poke and then it pokes the real person. ANYWAY you should have those inside the fort.

But yea I don't think it's a matter of being offensive.... like ISTPs like ESTJs...... ESTJs are like the most offensive people you could ever meet lol..... its not about appealing to feelings with them.... its all about real life in the moment logic. So yea... you most likely were not disrespectful and i bet if you tried to be..... she would like it..... cause thats getting in touch with your inner ISTP lol.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
So I know its been a while but I have an update!

So she moved down the hall, so she's my neighbor but i don't share anything with her.
When she moved she told her new roommate all the things that had happened with us, and what annoyed me about her habits and what I had spoken up about, and the other girl said it was fine, but thing like threw a HUGE screaming fit about something and brought up all those things she said she was okay with.
So she'll probably be moving to another room at the semester break.
I feel bad for her, because really we could've worked it out but she didn't want to, and now she has to go through this again.
-shrugs- I haven't spoken to her, I just talked to my suitemates about it. I smiled at her the other day just being nice and she looked at me like I had ten heads breathing smoke or something haha

-shrugs- maybe this next roommate with work for her, I hope it does.
 

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So I know its been a while but I have an update!
-shrugs- I haven't spoken to her, I just talked to my suitemates about it. I smiled at her the other day just being nice and she looked at me like I had ten heads breathing smoke or something haha

-shrugs- maybe this next roommate with work for her, I hope it does.
Well, she seems like going through a bad period, that could influence her (especially with the right personality type) to draw conclusions and think your nice genuine smile could be in fact a grin, like you are happy she is going through rough time. People tend to overanalyse and overthink things when in bad moods. Thing is, you're not suppose to get along with all the people of this world (yeah, I know, you'd love that wouldn't you :laughing:).
 

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Discussion Starter #19
We talked today...

And it was WONDERFUL. :D

I even showed her my fort hahaha she was like, " that's really cool, now its like two separate rooms, sweet"

yay
 

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My roommates an enfj and I wan't to jump out a window. (I live on the third floor.) I sort of acted as him and wrote the personality online. Ok, I stayed up till three in the morning watching bleach cause it's addictive a couple nights. I tried to go to sleep at 6 in response to my fatigue. one night and woke up to the retarded screaming and other such things down the hall. I woke up to find it was only 10 Pm, and was extremely annoyed. My roommate was typing on the computer, Bling!, Bling! had every possible light on, and had the door wide open. So he can say hi to every person who walks past our room. Probably to shove it in my face I have no friends. Also, He whines every night, WAHHHH, I'll get fucking sick(Oh my gosh, saying the f word amplifies what you say SOOO much) if the fan is left on. So, before I went to bed at 6, I said I'll set the fan to turn off at a certain time while your asleep. But noooo, I wake up and it's off. I have to have some type of air and constant noise to go to sleep. So when he left again and left the lights on at 10:30, and didn't lock the door even though I was sleeping I got up and turned it off, and set the fan to turn off for two hours. Again, he always comes back within like 10 min. He'll say, I may not be back for a while" and is back within an hour. STAY OUT OF THE ROOM!!!. So, he then turns the lights back on and turns my fan off and continues to bling! BLING!!! on his computer. I stare at the wall angrily for about thirty min. and give up and walk down to the computer room. 4 in the morning, after being distracted by bleach, I return to find the asshole is finally asleep. I go to sleep and end up being late for my 9 o clock class even with the alarm on. No, I'm not going to rebate because this particular enfj likes to act like a kicked dog if I say anything. And then if I do he disregards it and says I need to figure it out. NO, IT IS YOUR FAULT!!!. Also, my roommate gaily talks about how the rug is dirty when it is not and complains constantly. Also, a while ago I drew soviet symbols and killing on my door to reflect my mood. The soviet symbols being a stupid infatuation for red alert 3 and the death pictures entertain me. So, my roommate probably complained to an RA about how it MAY offend people. So, the Chinese guy who's not even an RA on my floor talks to me and says they don't want that type of stuff in our community. That I'll have to see a police officer or counselor if this continues. I remember the day before, an RA meeting was in the lobby. I'll bet my RA thought it would be nice to choose the Chinese guy to test if I was racist. Bastards. I'll bet no one raised their hands when the trouble maker child was brought up. My roomate even gets serious when I leave a can of pop laying around. ONE empty can and goes berserk. Moving out would show a sign of weakness. Not to mention I would have to come up with a valid reason to move out and would likely have to survive an audience with the idiot. So to avoid that unwanted conversation I choose to suffer. It would be effective to email online the problems I have with someone because I have time to think and do not have to come up with snappy arguments and have to listen to the same base of an argument repeatedly. Now my roommate is probably even telling others I have no friends which is why everyone is extra nice and inviting to me. Oh I have a friend. A friend. But he's still one of the dumbest people I've met. So, I would detest living with anyone. The results of my roommate recommendation plan gave me this idiot. Which I'm still debating is a flamer do to his very gay voice. Always helpful. Would always tutor me if I happen to need it. I don't need help by the likes of you. That is the rundown of how my first semester in college was ruined by an enfj. Thank you for listening to my rant. (like I care, I get tired of falling back from arguments like everyone else does, it bothers me.) Whatever.
 
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