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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
So, after my first relationship many years ago, I realized that the majority of girls prefer rough sex. Most of the girls I've been with always asked for "harder" rather than "gentler"

Now I'm curious as to whether girls prefer explicit and degrading talk during sex. Things like whore, slut, etc. (FYI - To all of the "nice guys" and inexperienced guys: this doesn't mean you don't respect her. Girls like sex and being dominated and even objectified behind closed doors. It's just a sexual experience. Don't go confusing what happens during sex as indicative of someone's personal defects or get all weird about the idea of respect. Girls want to be 'sluts' behind closed doors, but they have to maintain a certain appearance because of social rules. Surprise, girls like sex too!)

So, my questions is a) do you prefer rough sex? and b) do you like explicit dirty talk during sex?

edit: why am I even asking? I should just go find out for myself
 

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So, after my first relationship many years ago, I realized that the majority of girls prefer rough sex. Most of the girls I've been with always asked for "harder" rather than "gentler"

Personally, I prefer gentle as I going slow allows me to feel more sensation and draw out the tension. I always accommodate the rough riders however.

Now I'm curious as to whether girls prefer explicit and degrading talk during sex. Things like whore, slut.

So, my questions is a) do you prefer rough sex? and b) do you like explicit dirty talk during sex?

edit: why am I even asking? I should just go find out for myself
The last sentence made me laugh way harder than I should've, and I was eating. I'm choking to death as I'm typing this and have asked my brother to press "Post" once I pass out and diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
 

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Depends on my mood. Gentle, tough, toys, dirty talk etc... I want different things at different times. I don't like repetition.
 

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I am NOT a fan of degrading language at all! I had one person who tried and I was NOT happy. In other words, for me, saying, "you dirty slut", "fucking bitch", "whore" or any of that makes me sexually turned OFF. Absolutely. The closest which passed within a marriage scenario would be "are you my little slut" because it had the connotation of ownership and loyalty associated. Even then, it didn't really come natural for that person to speak to me explicitly. My suggestion is to go with what is natural for you. If talking degrading to a woman during sex gets you off, go for it, there are probably women who like it. Run of the mill dirty talk I would suspect is more commonly the preference. Like, "good girl", "bad girl", "I'm gonna", "you want to", etc. ya know .. basic stuff :p

I don't know. If you want to get into degrading, make sure you mention it before the actual act because what if the girl really likes you and takes it, you think she likes it but her feelings are really hurt. that would be just so sad. seriously.

as far as gentle vs. rough. I absolutely love both the same and everything in between and I think more people are like that than not. I just think it would be weird for a person never to want gentle or never to want rough (despite the definitions of what that means to a person varying).
 

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I think I have to be REALLY into something to want to use dirty talk otherwise I'd get all awkward and clammy and I'd probably stop half way through and apologise. But yeah I do it sometimes and its fun :>

BUT I would never use degrading words, I'm not trying to re-enact a shitty porno film here and I feel uncomfortable calling a woman, say, a slut or a whore if i'm the one having sex with her (doesn't anyone else see how this is ???) and "bitch", even if they enjoy that I'd feel weird because like what, we're doing it, I like you, why would I call you a bitch :<

As for hard and rough, yes definitely, but straight away: my problem in sex matters and also in ALL things is I find maintenance of a tempo to be hard. When I start doing something I get more and more and more intense until that thing finishes, I don't plateau. So for me, I start off kinda soft but then naturally I ramp up and get rougher and rougher and it takes a LOT of mental concentration to stop that.
 

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I don't find the terms "slut" and "whore" coming from a guy I am with (someone who respects the hell out of me in general, would be the obvious implication), in a sexual context, to be degrading at all. And, I know for a fact that these words weren't used as pejoratives by people I've fucked. If that were the case, we'd never have gotten as far as sex. There's nothing wrong with being sexually experienced (including casual sex) and enjoying the crap out of sex in general ('slut') or with being a whore. My objection with the latter has to do with the exploitation of women in said profession as opposed to anything that has to do with them as individuals and their choices.

If someone actually knows how to talk dirty in a way that isn't clumsy, uncomfortable and cheesy as fuck, it turns me on a great deal.

I do enjoy rough sex. I am sexually submissive, for the most part. I would have enjoyed rough sex even if I were sexually dominant. Gentle is nice when I have cramps or whatever. It's fun to have some variety, but I do prefer sex on the rough spectrum more often than not.
 

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eh, it can be fun if it's not forced.

i think it's best when it just comes out naturally--where there is no (lame) imaginative setup or anything like that--you're just talking, and then letting each others' bodies do the work.

keep it simple: like, "you like that" (... or anything really)--and have her try to respond through whatever it is that you're doing, or, through what you're doing/what she's feeling + you kissing her.

there's nothing hotter than someone trying to respond around moaning/gasping and you kissing the corner of their mouth(/biting their lips).

really... i don't think it really matters what you say; as long as it's "in tune" with the both of you in that moment...?
 

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I am NOT a fan of degrading language at all! I had one person who tried and I was NOT happy. In other words, for me, saying, "you dirty slut", "fucking bitch", "whore" or any of that makes me sexually turned OFF.
IMO, it can go from sexy to degrading so easily. It's also not just what you say, but how you say it. I personally like dirty talk, but nothing excessive or harsh. I love it mainly because it feels like I belong to this person entirely, I'm theirs. It's more a matter of ownership, trust, and love. It's never about being or feeling inferior.

Absolutely. The closest which passed within a marriage scenario would be "are you my little slut" because it had the connotation of ownership and loyalty associated.
Exactly. It also really depends on my partner. With some types of personalities, especially the subtly dominant ones (forcefully dominant is ew no thanks), it can feel so very natural and right. Otherwise, it can feel fake and be a huge turn off, just because it just doesn't fit with the dynamic that we have.
 

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I don't find the terms "slut" and "whore" coming from a guy I am with (someone who respects the hell out of me in general, would be the obvious implication), in a sexual context, to be degrading at all.
agreed but I suppose in my experience, it was tonage that was the problem ... like, if it's being said with a smile and it's a fun atmosphere of them being the dominant in that moment, okay. otherwise, if it's said in an angry like way, and the person is in a dominance position, it doesn't seem playful any more and makes me feel awful, sad and even scared. (sexually turned off) I go into "I don't like this, please stop" mode.

I think @kaleidoscope said it best by mentioning the idea that it's not what you say insomuch as how you say it. And again, it really makes a difference if it's spoken from a place that's natural for that person. If it's said just because they know I like that but they aren't comfortable saying it, it isn't as good. I think that concept applies to ANYTHING that's being done or said within any intimate context.
 

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there's nothing hotter than someone trying to respond around moaning/gasping and you kissing the corner of their mouth(/biting their lips).

really... i don't think it really matters what you say; as long as it's "in tune" with the both of you in that moment...?
Yes. Just.. yes.

I don't find the terms "slut" and "whore" coming from a guy I am with (someone who respects the hell out of me in general, would be the obvious implication), in a sexual context, to be degrading at all. And, I know for a fact that these words weren't used as pejoratives by people I've fucked.
I think tone of voice plays a lot into this. You can just feel the lust and desire in a person's voice, as well as the love, even if they're calling you their dirty slut. It's not as much about words, but about the dynamic you share. The dominance, the respect, the trust, the desire. It's all so yummy.
 

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Huh....I'd say it's different for me. Maybe 1 out of 4 girls say "harder," but the vast majority say "gentler/slower/I need to catch my breath." I understand that this is the preference of the girl, and that's fine, it's the girl that lies still and does nothing that says "harder" or "too hard" that I'll probably never want to call again. A more important question than "is she into rough sex" is "how adventurous is she in the bedroom?" THEN, we're talking.

As for sex talk, there is an aspect I can work on. I've experienced with it before, and I've gotten weird looks, one girl even uncomfortably laughed, and another just put her finger over my mouth and "shhh." It's too much of a crap shoot, so I stay away from it unless the girl says something dirty to me. That may be the green light. Still, I don't know what to say. I'm a man of action, not of words.

I would NEVER call a girl a "bitch, slut, whore." Never, ever. Unless they explicitly ask, "call me your whore" or something like that, I stay away from that kind of talk. I respect women.

As Luda says, "I wanna lady in the street but a freak in the bed." Definitely my kind of woman.

The best kind of feedback I could possibly get from a girl is very loud moans. Nothing turns me on more than turning the lady on.

I wouldn't be opposed to role playing though, if I've been sleeping with the girl for a while and I know she's fully comfortable with it (not because she's trying to appease me, but because she wants to do it too). This could lead to interesting inter-coitus "discussion" and sex talk. Probably would come much more naturally too.
 

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A slut is a woman who enjoys sex, enjoys sex with multiple partners, or is openly sexual. That's why it's so awful to call someone a slut as an insult because it's showing contempt for something natural and beautiful. When the guy I'm sleeping with calls me a slut in a positive way I don't think it's degrading at all.
I am submissive with some masochistic tendencies and I've struggled with this because of people saying things like the OP said. I don't want to be one of the people who is responsible for all women being pigeonholed and it makes me feel like not being true to myself. That isn't fair to me.
 

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i always talk dirty...and yes i like it hard.
How do you know what to say? Sorry if that question is too forward and you don't wanna answer haha. I really like dirty talk but I never know what to say so it's usually just him talking... He told me to say what pops into my head but nothing does. All I can ever think to say is like, "Fuck me." or "That's good." He told me I should call him names some time but I've never heard any sexy names for men that sound like anything I'd say in a million years...
 

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I think that you should definitely ask the next girl you are with! It's a major turn on for me when my partner asks what I like, what do I want him to do, how I want something, etc :wink:. I hate it when a partner assumes because the last girl or even all other girls he was with liked something, that I will like it too.
I know that I would not like much explicit dirty talk, especially not slut, whore, etc. It's such an extreme difference from how my partner and I talk to each other normally and act, it would be very weird and not sexy to me. But another girl might think it's exciting for that very same reason.
I can't say I'm really a fan of rough sex either. I do however love passionate, intense, "must have you now!" kind of aggressiveness! :crazy:
 
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