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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Do you have any rules you apply to relationships to make them easier to get out of if you need to?

Mine include:


  • Never allow other people's possessions to get left in my space. (Exclusions: INTJ friends: their things somehow become my things, also large, comfortable shirts are also mine.)
 
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This thread feels very INTP.

"Hun, you're great, but when we hang out, could we be a bit closer to the door?"

"What do you mean,'why is your car-motor always running'?"

"Why am I reading 'How to Disappear Like a Ninja'?"

"No, I don't keep glancing at the emergency exit...*glance*"

"Running shoes are just more comfortable."
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Uhh... Am I the only one who prepares to make it work rather than have an easy way out if it doesn't?
It's not an either/or situation. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

Oh... I've always been rather persistent when it comes to relationships...
It's both the persistence and the ellipses that require such an escape plan. ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Don't most people call these "boundaries?"
Perhaps these are a version of boundaries. Personally I tend to think of boundaries as things like keeping mutually understood things private, not raiding each other's phones and several other things which are not so much motivated by escape plans, more as a feeling of maintaining individual freedoms within the relationship.
 
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I don't think there's an easy way to get out of a relationship that's been happening for a while. Whatever you do, if the other person really likes you, it will be hard.
All I do is become more distant and, when I'm sure it's over, tell them. Some people have said I become cruel, but I think I'm just honest about my feelings.
 
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Perhaps these are a version of boundaries. Personally I tend to think of boundaries as things like keeping mutually understood things private, not raiding each other's phones and several other things which are not so much motivated by escape plans, more as a feeling of maintaining individual freedoms within the relationship.
Fair enough. I guess I thought of these as all falling into the same category. I don't establish boundaries with escape plans in mind, though if they're not respected escape would be my last resort... and I would imagine that if I wanted to escape without my boundaries being crossed, that perhaps I wasn't proactive enough about establishing them in the first place.
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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I don't think there's an easy way to get out of a relationship that's been happening for a while. Whatever you do, if the other person really likes you, it will be hard.
All I do is become more distant and, when I'm sure it's over, tell them. Some people have said I become cruel, but I think I'm just honest about my feelings.
I'm picturing a balloon slowly being inflated with helium with bits of powdered concrete in the mixture when things go wrong, and then slowly the balloon becomes heavy and lands on the ground like a dead paperweight. The balloon still has its' form, but it can no longer fly or float. And there's no way to repair or fix the balloon to fly again. Sad, but it's like a forgotten toy.... becoming a dead weight.
 
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