I suppose we INFP's attract people like that but I tend to do like you do - focus on their own responsability. Otherwise you end up feeling suffocated. But it still happens to me all the time, that someone opens up and tell their life story. Some months ago I went to a consert with some people I am not close to and it went awkward... I was a little curious and wanted to figure out who this girl was who is dating a friend of mine who I like and I have been interested in. Well I talked about the music and I mentioned that I was a bit tired for some reason. After that it was a slippery slope and she started talking about having trouble sleeping and taking sleeping pills and bla bla... She told me she had manic-depressive disorder. I didn´t want to hear that in our first conversation in a fifteen minute intermission...It use to happen when I was younger in my early 20's. I had various acquaintances wanting to tell me their problems, mostly. I'd listen because that's what INFPs do and it made me feel special that people wanted to talk to me about their issues.
It rarely happens now. Probably because I don't let people get very far into telling me their problems without saying, "well, what are you doing to fix it?"
The ones who are fixing the crappy things in their life, I try to get them to focus on what they can change. I say things like , "why don't you think what you tried worked out" and "what's the next step." Then the conversation starts being solution focused. Those are the ones I stay in touch with.
The ones who just want to complain always shut down and stop talking once I start talking about taking personal responsibility and making changes. They never talk to me again.
The thing I hate is I feel like I am responsable for them wanting to open up to me. What is that about? I must be able to sit next to a person talking and being really interested without them opening up completely. I know it is their choice to talk but sometimes I feel mixed up about the whole thing...