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This kind of sacrificial tendency can almost become masochistic... I relate some stories of how I made sacrifices for "Justice" or the "greater good" and most people I tell look at me like I'm a crazy person.

Does anyone have stories about this trait of the INFJs that can bee seen both as our greatest strength and our greatest weakness?
 

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I think you're crazy. Just kidding. Sounds like me back in the day, but I do not wanna share.
 

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Yes, I do. I don't think people really see how much we give up to do something good so much that we need to learn what its like to be a little selfish. It's healthly :p
Haha. Let's all try to do something selfish today :p

Step in the right direction :laughing:
 

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Well this isn't anything serious... but one of those situations when your kindness gets taken for granted.

At school, because the cafeteria food is way overpriced I tend to go the local grocery store to buy my lunch/snacks. I bring them to campus for the long 15 hr days of class and homework. During one term, since my classmates noticed I had food all the time most of the class began to chow down on my meals. In the beginning everybody 'asked' but by the end of the term, people were going through my personal belongings and eating everything without asking.

I was pretty upset by that as a broke college student. Didn't feel like people were being understanding enough.

I'm always letting people use my things, but it has gotten to a point before where I had classmates grab my laptop and walk out saying "I'll be right back"... which I was absolutely against. Totally inappropriate, and I was angered by it because I respect their things and privacy. I've never done such a thing. I always feel kind of weird using somebody else's computer because it feels almost too personal, let alone just walking out the room with it. I guess other people don't share that view.

*sigh*
 
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This kind of sacrificial tendency can almost become masochistic... I relate some stories of how I made sacrifices for "Justice" or the "greater good" and most people I tell look at me like I'm a crazy person.

Does anyone have stories about this trait of the INFJs that can bee seen both as our greatest strength and our greatest weakness?
im a workalcoholic. i work in a large college library... so i love it! it's wonderful. i do everything times three... serve on committees, write articles, stay after 5pm. but i get paid in peanuts, and would *seriously* have to try to get fired. so. its my 'sacrifice' to the greater good. higher education.

but i definitely try not to be a martyr. i think we need to perserve self, in order to help others more. i cannot help others if i myself am weak or taken advantage of.

what are your stories of self sacrifice?
 

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Sacrifice can come easy and seem like the right thing to do, but it greatly depends on what you're sacrificing. The greater good is nice and all, but when what I'm sacrificing is something that possibly harm my family (or harm my family through me being harmed) idealistic ideas are gonna have to take a rain check.

I used to feel very different about that, but after making some stupid mistakes because I thought I was serving the greater good, I'm extremely skeptical about what is right and what is wrong. For an INFJ the biggest trap can be the contents of their own idealism. As a person who has also had some pretty nonsensical ideas, I've become extremely distrustful of Ni-inspired notions of absolute truth. That has greatly diminished my idealism, and I think the amount of sacrifice an INFJ would be willing to make is directly influenced by how idealistic they are. The more the 'greater good' seems relative, the more silly it seems to sacrifice anything for it.

Of course, I'm speaking about society scale things here. Missing the bus because you want to help an old lady cross the street does not fall under that category. :tongue:
 
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Yes, I do. I don't think people really see how much we give up to do something good so much that we need to learn what its like to be a little selfish. It's healthly :p
Yeah that was something my mother told me before she passed away... its ok to be a little selfish, don't let people abuse your helpful nature.
 

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Yeah that was something my mother told me before she passed away... its ok to be a little selfish, don't let people abuse your helpful nature.
Wise mother.
 

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Hmmm...There is no "greater good" only a collection of individual "goods." The greater good is almost always entirely based on a very narrow, human-centric thought. When I was younger to a bit of a messiah complex, wanting to sacrifice self to "save" people. Naive. Eventually, I grew out of that adolescent mindset. We are all of us selfish, and it is good, and as it should be. It cannot be otherwise, else would would not exist. All life is selfish. Comes with the territory. I think INFJs, and perhaps NFs in general tend to romanticize such things, including war, and fighting the "good fight."

I had rather not live than live a life in which it was necessary to sacrifice myself. I expect people to meet me half way, and to find a strength and resilience within themselves. This is not to say that I am not generous, not compassionate, only that a total sacrifice of the self holds no attraction for me. Likewise I would ask no one to sacrifice herself or himself for me.

Personally, I found the death of Old Yeller more affecting and memorable than that if this Jesus fellow.
 

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Hmmm...There is no "greater good" only a collection of individual "goods." The greater good is almost always entirely based on a very narrow, human-centric thought. When I was younger to a bit of a messiah complex, wanting to sacrifice self to "save" people. Naive. Eventually, I grew out of that adolescent mindset. We are all of us selfish, and it is good, and as it should be. It cannot be otherwise, else would would not exist. All life is selfish. Comes with the territory. I think INFJs, and perhaps NFs in general tend to romanticize such things, including war, and fighting the "good fight."

I had rather not live than live a life in which it was necessary to sacrifice myself. I expect people to meet me half way, and to find a strength and resilience within themselves. This is not to say that I am not generous, not compassionate, only that a total sacrifice of the self holds no attraction for me. Likewise I would ask no one to sacrifice herself or himself for me.

Personally, I found the death of Old Yeller more affecting and memorable than than that if this Jesus fellow.
I have aways had a tendency to sacrifice my self for others .. im totally self less ....... and im trying to curb that trend cuz .... bad things happen when you sacrifice to much
 

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I worked 18 hours at a 24 hour/7 days gas station on Christmas so the other employees wouldn't have to work. I have also worked a 24 hour shift for the same reason because someone called in sick and I was already scheduled to work a double, which turned into a triple.

I feel this is a sacrifice, I let my ex stay with me for a month after she dumped me for another man, she couldn't move in with him yet and didn't have anywhere to go so I let her stay with me while she was dating him.

I stayed up for almost 42 hours straight when my ex got assaulted (wasn't sexual) at her work, to make sure everything was gonna be ok after the fact, like light-headedness or anything else. Just trying to be there basically.
 

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I worked 18 hours at a 24 hour/7 days gas station on Christmas so the other employees wouldn't have to work. I have also worked a 24 hour shift for the same reason because someone called in sick and I was already scheduled to work a double, which turned into a triple.

I feel this is a sacrifice, I let my ex stay with me for a month after she dumped me for another man, she couldn't move in with him yet and didn't have anywhere to go so I let her stay with me while she was dating him.

I stayed up for almost 42 hours straight when my ex got assaulted (wasn't sexual) at her work, to make sure everything was gonna be ok after the fact, like light-headedness or anything else. Just trying to be there basically.
jesus dude that sucks
 

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im horribly selfless, i barely tolerate my own existence and am happy to give my life or my time for others. i was really surprised at my first counselling session when my counsellor asked what i wanted to get out of counselling and i couldnt answer

and another time when i was having my initial interview with my principal and he asked me what i could give to the school and i felt really upset and started to tear up because i honestly couldnt answer ^^'
 

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im horribly selfless, i barely tolerate my own existence and am happy to give my life or my time for others. i was really surprised at my first counselling session when my counsellor asked what i wanted to get out of counselling and i couldnt answer

and another time when i was having my initial interview with my principal and he asked me what i could give to the school and i felt really upset and started to tear up because i honestly couldnt answer ^^'
Yeah I feel like this, It's like someone asks you "what do you want" and I'm like, hrmm never even thought about it so I don't know, I just keep focusing on what others want/need then I feel non-"normal" because I don't know what I want outside of living for others. :confused:
 

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actually it was like that when i was staying with my girlfriend and her family, it was my last night there and my girlfriend and brother asked me where i wanted to go and presented me with their options and what i wanted and i just said to her whatever you want enough times to make her resort to the hat solution
 
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