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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I never fully get emotionally attached to any possible suitors. not even to the ENTJ im currently dating. However, There is this one guy, that i greatly admire, and I dont know what or why, but i got attached, thinking this would be a different situation. thinking i have found my soul mate... let me accept him as the one, and put all my effort into ensuring that he would like me! so we were friends. i was content with being friends. really, I would have been happy with life just to have him there as a friend. and he couldnt even fufill that need of mine!

then he ups and disappears! WTF! :mad:

let me just say I am in severe pain! I have this pain in my chest similar to a huge anxiety attack, (i wonder if it is anxiety) and I just got sad. I was even out of breath. its like my whole purpose in life just died!!...
this is the first time i have felt like this about anyone, I have never allowed anyone to affect me this way since i was in high school.

I would start sobbing like a lil boy, but right now, im too confused emotionally to deal.
how to deal?! I need assistance with this
 

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Take a deep breath. You are a great person and if he doesn't realize it, it is truly his loss. I know that doesn't help with the pain, but it bears saying.

Put your energy into people who recognize your value and maybe cool off towards this guy, if he's blowing hot and cold. I know- easier said than done when you are in love or infatuated or whatever it may be...

Just know that this will feel better in a day or two. HUG!
 

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I know personally how it can hurt for a good friend to cut you off. We can become downright obsessive. In my experience, once you turn to some level-headed friends for advice, they'll remind you: You -DO- have other reasons for living. You have people in your life who recognize your value. Also, do you really want to keep someone around who doesn't want you around?

Well, you shouldn't. Just rely on the world and prayer and tenacity. You will find the right people in life that foster your mental health if you just, in the words of Wilson Phillips, "hoooooold on for one more day, and things will go your way".

Soldier on, and keep us posted.
 

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I know how hard it is to loss good frind,specially the one you really care.But sadly this is life, that is how we all live,one day you meet someone you really love and you think you will live with them forever.But the next day when you getup from your sleep, you realized that thay are all gone. Now the only thing you do about it is, try to forget about him, and think the good thing you have in life.If you dont have good things in life just think, how beautifle the sky is or, about the flowers you plainted yesterday.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
thank you! I appreciate the kind wonderful words!!! I did move on, i keep forgetting how easy it is for me to move on. I mean I wasnt sober this whole weekend (my coping method). but today! im completely me again. and i dont really remember much except, if i ever see him again I will ruin his life :)

so yay! moving on!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Have you tried counseling? Some of the words and phrases you're using are very strong -- "pain," "anxiety," "sobbing," "out of breath," "the whole purpose in my life has just died," etc. That may help? Hope everything gets better. :(
I have not tried counseling. but i feel like myself now anyways! so no need for counseling. but that fool better not come back to where ever he disappeared too!
 

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I hope there will be no life-ruining, or else you know it'll backfire, but it's good to hear you're back and at 'em.

Seems that's a common coping mechanism... among those of us who have been through counseling. Mine was mostly family counseling.

... Why did I choose to share that? I don't know.
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I hope there will be no life-ruining, or else you know it'll backfire, but it's good to hear you're back and at 'em.

Seems that's a common coping mechanism... among those of us who have been through counseling. Mine was mostly family counseling.

... Why did I choose to share that? I don't know.

because sharing is caring! and you are awesome! thanks! :)

my ENTJ eye candy came over to comfort me, they can be so considerate at times!!!

i think i should take counseling just to improve myself!
 

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We all can counsel each other. Thanks for the compliment. :D

My eye candy is INTJ... why are those xNTJ's so damned dexy?

Unf... discussion for another day.
 

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dexy... i meant sexy.... It's like i'm calling them super-dextrous or something.

Also, being ENFJ, I'm happy at a certain level of awkward.
 

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it's ok to be sad about this kind of thing...I had a fight with my girlfriend the other night and still am feeling a bit down cuz I unitnentionally hurt her feelings :sad: that's just the way I am...I beat myself up for things like this all the time.

Don't worry, you'll find love one day, Kal.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
We all can counsel each other. Thanks for the compliment. :D

My eye candy is INTJ... why are those xNTJ's so damned dexy?

Unf... discussion for another day.

dexy... i meant sexy.... It's like i'm calling them super-dextrous or something.

Also, being ENFJ, I'm happy at a certain level of awkward.
lucky!! i like INTJs, INFJs, i like the IXXJ types, they are so cute, and quiet.

it's ok to be sad about this kind of thing...I had a fight with my girlfriend the other night and still am feeling a bit down cuz I unitnentionally hurt her feelings :sad: that's just the way I am...I beat myself up for things like this all the time.

Don't worry, you'll find love one day, Kal.
well i hope you and your GF patched it up, i know how bad you must feel, this past weekend, i went off on my brothers for being XXXP which they couldnt help, but i still just lectured the shit out of them, and i said some pretty mean things. they know i didnt mean it. i was just in one of my moods.

and i have found love. :) that person just hasnt figured it out yet. but not to worry! there are billions of other people on this planet, im certain someone else will make me feel the same way! XD
YAY for overpopulation!!!!
 

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walkaway, You're beating yourself up over momentarily yielding imperfect results. It's not necessarily your fault or her fault. Just, we ENFJ's... we put so much stock, maybe too much at times, that when we fail it's like Crisis City. Just step away, breathe, and don't get yourself into one of those downward spirals. Those turn us into momentary pathetic messes when we're just... broken. And that's not how we were meant to be. You're awesome and positive and everything she's probably dreamed of.

And Kal! Omg, I know what you mean about IxxJ. I think the appeal there is that they seem all quiet and sweet, but then get them to vent and they say the meanest, funniest shit. As long as it's not too serious. My INFJ bff and I cut up like this. And then my INTJ real-life boyfriend, as well as my INTJ celeb comedian boyfriend Daniel Tosh, they have that cold-hearted realist moments. Ahh... Omg, I realized that description is the polar opposite to our "warm-hearted idealist" descriptions. That's it!
 

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Just saw this thread, so my advice would be to just go out, party, ahve fun with friends, taht will help you. Think positive and act positive, that always work, don't let negative emotions get you down. If he couldn't see how great you are, than you don't want someone like that in your life, you need someone who can appreciate you for your true value.:happy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
And Kal! Omg, I know what you mean about IxxJ. I think the appeal there is that they seem all quiet and sweet, but then get them to vent and they say the meanest, funniest shit. As long as it's not too serious. My INFJ bff and I cut up like this. And then my INTJ real-life boyfriend, as well as my INTJ celeb comedian boyfriend Daniel Tosh, they have that cold-hearted realist moments. Ahh... Omg, I realized that description is the polar opposite to our "warm-hearted idealist" descriptions. That's it!
DANIEL TOSH!!!! :crazy::crazy: im literally stalking him, i have all his episodes DVRd! i love his humor, its so hot!!! XD but yeah. its true, IXXJs are just the cutest things, until they talk and im just impressed. with introverts im fasinated by them because i cant read them easily like everyone else. its more of a challenge for me. i gotto work to make connections with introverts. and i love that. and when they vent! so true! its like whoa! your a pyschopath but I wana hug you at the same time!!! XD

i think your on to something about the attraction to our polar opposites! NEW THREAD TIME!

Just saw this thread, so my advice would be to just go out, party, ahve fun with friends, taht will help you. Think positive and act positive, that always work, don't let negative emotions get you down. If he couldn't see how great you are, than you don't want someone like that in your life, you need someone who can appreciate you for your true value.:happy:
yeah, im always in random moods, but im over it, i dont even remember what the original topic was lol. i think my bad memory is a coping mechanism. cuz i forget easily, and most of the time i forget big issues, that i just dont wanna deal with and im happy, im in that take one day at a time mentality and just enjoying the moment. something i used to never do.

realizing that im just a tiny creature, on this lil patch of land, on this HUGE planet, really puts things into perspective. not to mention the span of time, my time of consiousness is tiny compared to the span of time itself. im just a blip on this line.... so im just grateful to exist and be alive... it will be a sad day when i leave this world. never to know what will be of the future!
YAY for coming to terms! :crazy::crazy:

and yay for random topic changes! im glad we dont have many thinkers on this thread! they would be annoyed lol
 

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In times of great need and strife, All an ENFJ needs is the reassuring hand of a loved one to say that " we'll go through this together no matter what" with the soft forgiving eyes that only sincerity can mean.
 
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